A/N Hello. So, for those of you who know me, or are currently reading my fic 'Three's a Crowd in Love', this is the other reason that you haven't had an update for ages. I have been writing two oneshots for two of my friends for Christmas, and this is one (the other is also up on FF now). I wrote this for my very best friend on fanfiction, Gorgeousbowneyesslash. I've known her for about a year now, perhaps over, you never know lol, and she's helped me loads with writing and everything to do with fanfiction. Also, if it wasnt for her, I would never in a million years be writing a slash fic!!!! So this is a thank-you and a christmas present for her; Thanks for everything hun, you've been amazing!!!
Dicalimer: I own none of these characters, and I'm getting no money for the writing of this story. Purely for my own enjoyment, and my friends hehe!
Warning: Slash content, if it offends you, please don't read!
Summary: A small clip of Harry's seventh year in a disrupted Hogwarts. Despite not planning to go back, the trio were ultimately forced, and now their strong bonds as a group are slowly falling to pieces. Harry has basically no friends left. And in his opinion, there is only one person in the entire world who loves him. The calls of nature in disguised forms (Earth, fire and water) bring them closer than they had ever expected to be.
Earth, Fire, Water
Harry Potter stared deeply into the fire. Usually, if he looked at it for too long, it would hurt his eyes; but today he seemed numb to the pain. Of course, today was no different from the other days that had passed since the incident, but that was the point. Today, like all the other days, he wished he was the fire that he was staring into; it had no troubles, no sad accidents that led to its own grief, no purpose other than to keep people warm. But then, was that Harry's purpose in life, too? Was warmth quite like hope? Did people stare at Harry, trying to find the place he started, trying to find the place that would keep them safe and warm?
Harry let out a thoughtful sigh and let his head drop backwards onto the sofa that was supporting him in the Gryffindor common room. How had it come to this? Days spent lazily, not bothering to do the work they had been set, not caring how they were punished.
"Harry, are you ok?"
Hermione's voice whispered from the side of him; a scared voice that sounded as if she was worried he would yell at her at any given chance.
Harry looked at her blankly. "I'm the same as I am every time you ask that question, Hermione."
"I'm sorry," She muttered quickly, "You just… You seem…"
Harry looked into her eyes. Whatever Harry 'seemed' to be like, she didn't want to say it for fear of being yelled at.
"Upset," She said quietly.
He looked sceptically at his best friend. "And you're not?"
At this, Hermione looked fiercely at him, "Well of course I am, Harry! But dwelling on what's happened isn't going to help us find Horcruxes is it?"
Harry stood up quickly and Hermione seemed to back down, "And how are we supposed to do that exactly?" He shouted – the thing she feared most from him, "I've told you a million times! There's no way out of the castle – I know, I've tried! And what did I get in return?" Harry lifted up his shirt and Hermione flinched when she saw the fresh, bright red whip marks all over his torso and back.
"You don't have to show me that every time…" She mumbled.
"I do! Because you just don't seem to get it!" Harry snapped.
"What's there to 'get'?" Hermione shouted back. "Dumbledore left you a job to do, Harry!"
"Yeah! And no clues or anything!"
"Why are you so angry all the time?" Hermione said suddenly.
"Because no one knows anything these days. The outside world doesn't have a clue what's going on in here, and everything is piled on me to save the world!" Harry fumed.
"Then let us help you!" Harry stared at her, breathing rather quickly. "Harry, I'm scared, I just want to help. Let me in…"
Harry felt like he wanted to burst into tears then and there, but his eyes stayed completely free of any emotion. And then the portrait to the Common room opened and Ron stepped in. He looked at them both and saw Hermione's tear-strewn face. He then looked at Harry disapprovingly – he had known what had happened… Since it had happened every night for the past month.
Harry's hand automatically reached inside his pocket and pulled out his invisibility cloak. As he strode towards the portrait, he heard Ron's footsteps over to Hermione, her cry of sorrow, and left the room.
His feet led him to the place he knew so well, the place he went every night around this time. The time when he had no other alternative but to be on his own and think. That was the bad side of not doing his work, he supposed, that he had more time to think about things which he hated.
Walking through the dark corridors was not as scary as it had been in October, when he, Ron and Hermione had first been caught and brought back to Hogwarts against their will. Back then, Harry would see the corridors as something he had to get through to get to the light, but then, when he got to the end, there wouldn't be any light and it was as if he had gone all that way for nothing. This used to symbolise his journey for the Horcruxes, but now he had made himself realise that something good had to come at the end of that corridor, because all the others were that dark.
Quickly, his legs carried him out of the main doors to the castle and into the grounds towards the lake. He still found it strange that the doors were kept open at night, but he guessed that was so that the Death Teacher's (as he liked to call them) would have more to play with in detentions.
Finally, Harry sat down beneath a tree that he had christened as his own on these lonely nights. He kept his cloak wrapped around him in the freezing cold and sighed deeply as he looked out over the still water of the lake.
Different thoughts raced around his head, and he found himself wondering what it would be like to be the water in the lake, just as he had done with the fire. His thoughts were the same every night. And from the water, his mind took a different direction and he wondered to himself, would he come tonight?
Perhaps Harry was too early on this night, and he'd just have to wait a while for him to turn up. But as the minutes grew longer and longer, he decided that tonight had obviously been a good night for the other – he was not going to come. Harry tried to reason that this was a good thing. The other was getting on with his life, perhaps, and was forgetting his past troubles and pain. But all too quickly Harry's envy grew and grew until he wanted to shout at the thin air; scream about the fact that someone else could be happy when he was so troubled.
But then, a rustle in his ear made him flinch round, and he saw a tall, blonde boy walking towards him, unaware of his presence and yet able to sit down right next to him without touching him. Harry started at the pale face for a moment before returning to his previous pose and looking out at the lake.
He sat in silence for minutes, waiting for Draco to acknowledge him, but when he didn't, Harry breathed, "I thought you weren't going to come."
Draco did not stir at the sound of Harry's voice, but merely kept watching the still lake. "You were wrong, Potter. My life will never be bitterly sweet enough to stay in that room for a whole night."
Harry raised an eyebrow even though Draco could not see it. "That was deep."
"You're not the only one who thinks for hours on end, Potter," Draco replied rather tetchily.
"Don't you think I know that by now?" Harry said calmly.
A few more minutes passed this in silence, with Harry and Draco simply staring out over the grounds of Hogwarts.
Then Harry heard Draco take a breath and ask, "How was your day?"
Harry thought back before answering and turned his head away from Draco slightly, although Draco couldn't see him.
"Not too good," He replied quietly.
For the first time since Draco had sat down, he turned his head and looked in Harry's direction. Miraculously, the same as every night, his eyes found Harry's even through the cloak, and Harry felt his burn.
"Why?" Draco said sharply.
"I…" Harry hesitated. If he said it, would Draco leave for tonight? "I didn't do my Charms essay."
Draco's eyes widened in an angry glare as they poured into Harry, and for once Harry felt guilt about not doing his homework.
"Why?" Draco snapped. "Why didn't you do it? Did you want to be punished by my father? Do you like what he does?"
"Of course not…" Harry replied truthfully.
"Then why, Potter? It's not as if you forgot that he's the Charms Professor is it?"
Draco stood up, but Harry's arm twitched and then flung itself out from under the cloak and his hand grabbed Draco's wrist just before it got too far away. Draco's skin was warm against Harry's freezing fingers.
Draco's head turned slowly to look at Harry's floating arm in slight disgust. Harry saw the expression on his face and slowly uncurled his fingers to let Draco walk away; but to his surprise, he sat back down after a moment.
Again, they sat in silence for a few minutes, Harry letting Draco cool down, for he could sense the anger pulsing from his body that was so close to Harry's. When Harry thought it was safe, he whispered, "It wasn't that bad today…" Draco turned sharply towards him. "Not like that! I meant..."
"Did he touch you?" Draco cut him off.
"No…"
"Then I agree, it wasn't that bad," Draco concluded. But then his head seemed to twitch. "But, why didn't he touch you? He likes you, he's told me. You must have done something to please him…"
Harry shook his head and then realised that Draco couldn't see him, so he said, "No. He must have just had a few detentions already tonight. Was too tired for me."
"No, Potter, he likes you; he would make time for you," Draco said in a rather sick sounding voice.
"Well I don't know then," Harry said. "I turned up, he took my shirt off and whipped me a few times, then he let me go."
Draco paused before he replied. "I'm… I'm sorry, Potter."
Harry looked at him. He then looked around the lake and into the Entrance Hall of the castle – he was convinced now that no one was coming out, so he pulled his cloak off and placed it on his lap.
"You have nothing to be sorry for," He said quietly.
"Yes I do," Draco said, laughing bitterly, "It's my fault. All of this is my fault."
"It's not your fault that Voldemort is a madman, Malfoy," Harry answered sternly.
"But just think how different things would be if I hadn't let those Death Eaters into the school last year. Dumbledore wouldn't be dead."
"That's a lie and you know it," Harry said, "Snape would have killed him sooner or later."
Draco's head was dipped low, but he turned it to look at Harry, and Harry felt as if the barrier between them had been broken by his taking the cloak off. He smiled half-heartedly at Draco.
"Why do you stick up for me?" Draco said quietly.
"Because…" Harry thought, "You're the only person I can talk to. The only one who seems to understand. I'd never go back to how it used to be with us; not now…"
And then Draco did something that made Harry's heart bounce slightly. He smirked. The days when Draco smirked were the best days. It meant Harry would laugh, and he went so many weeks without laughing that it was like trying something new every time he did it. Something amazing.
"I still hate you though," Draco said slyly.
Harry grinned, something that hurt his cheek muscles, "I wouldn't have that part any other way either."
Draco's smirk became wider. "I love it when you smile, Harry…"
"I love it when you smirk."
"It's strange, isn't it? How we've come to…" Draco seemed to bite his tongue so that the rest of the sentence wouldn't come out. But Harry didn't really care, so he finished it for him.
"Need each other?" He said.
Draco nodded slowly. "Yes. I never thought that I'd need anyone else other that Crabbe and Goyle."
"Or me with Ron and Hermione…" Harry mused sadly.
"But they just don't understand anymore," Draco said, more to himself than to Harry.
"They're blind to what's going on…"
"Just because they worship their parents."
"Just because they think I can do anything."
"Even though the Dark Lord killed Goyle's mother…"
"Even though Hermione's a muggle born."
Both Harry and Draco seemed to sigh at the same time, and then grinned weakly at each other.
"You know why we understand each other, Potter?" Draco said.
"Why?" Harry asked.
"Because I started the mess at the school; and you have to end it," Draco replied.
The grin slid off Harry's face as if it was never there. He put his head back against the tree he lent against and closed his eyes. 'You have to end it'… How exactly? Did Draco have some sort of advice for him? Or was that the extent of the conversation for tonight? Harry had been so kind this evening, and yet Draco still came down on him like a ton of bricks.
Snow began to fall on them, and Harry stood up. Draco stood up with him and took his wrist in his hand.
Harry withdrew it as he shook his head and said, "No."
"Why?" Draco asked.
"Because I've had a bad night, I want it to end sooner rather than later," Harry answered as he began to walk away.
"Please, Harry; it makes things better," Draco pleaded suddenly.
"No!" Harry shouted, shocking even himself. "I've already had your blood in be tonight!"
Draco's eyes widened. "You lied to me!" He said loudly.
"Yes, Draco, I did," Harry answered angrily. "When you asked me about it, I wasn't in a mood with you, and I wanted it as much as you did."
"So how have I upset you since then?" Draco spat.
"'You have to end it, Harry'," Harry mimicked. "You know how much I hate that, and yet you said it anyway!"
"Fine! Leave then! I won't be here tomorrow night! Or any other night!" Draco shouted as Harry pulled his invisibility cloak back around himself and stalked away, fuming with anger.
Harry stormed through the portrait door into the Common room after the Fat Lady refused to let him pass for five minutes. She said it was too late and that he woke her up every single night. But as soon as Harry pointed his wand at her, she swung open even without the password.
Harry heard a sharp intake of breath as he stomped into the room, and looked around to see Ron and Hermione staring at him, although they could not see him. Ron's t-shirt looked wet on one shoulder, but Harry spared no guilt as he saw Hermione wipe a tear from her cheek – if she wasn't strong enough to stop crying then what was the point in feeling sorry for her, or saying sorry?
He started to walk towards the spiral staircase, and usually having no trouble getting to the boys dormitories, was surprised to hear Hermione speak.
"You're earlier then usual," She croaked slightly.
Harry shrugged his cloak off and turned around. "Yes," He said.
"Were you with him, or didn't he turn up?" Ron spat.
"Do you really care?" Harry retorted.
"We care that you see him every night," Hermione said, "What do you do with him, duel or sit in silence?"
Harry had to fight back a wry smile. "How do you even know I talk to him? I never take my cloak off; he doesn't know I'm there unless I do," He lied.
Ron and Hermione glanced at each other, with slightly guilty looks in their eyes. Harry hid his smirk by turning around and walking up the stairs to go to bed. He couldn't be bothered with explaining himself to Ron and Hermione; he didn't have to anyway. He could go where he wanted, when he wanted to, and see who he wanted to see. The only thing was they didn't know how much 'seeing' Harry had actually done of Draco. And suddenly, when Harry took off his shirt and trousers and got into his bed, he felt completely alone again, and totally regretted leaving Draco standing there in the cold.
"That's not very well-mannered of you, is it Potter?"
Harry glared up at 'Professor' Lestrange who was cackling evilly. He could tell she was about to strike. About to say those words that meant another night's torture – just like all the rest. He had thought he'd done quite well today, but the very last lesson of the day, he couldn't take it anymore. He wanted to go to his refuge in the Common Room and watch the fire burn. He didn't want to be in this 'lesson' about the Dark Arts and how to use them. So he had burst out, telling her that she was a rubbish teacher, and what would she know about the Dark Arts? Of course, without his sense of sarcasm, he would truly be dead within himself, wouldn't he?
"Answer me, boy!" Bellatrix shouted when he did not say anything. Still, Harry stayed silent and he could see she was about to loose it. She stalked over to him, the rest of the class seeming to take a deep breath in unison, terrified to see what she would do. But Harry stayed still. He wasn't scared of her. Not anymore. "Do you like detentions, boy?" Harry shrugged. "Do you like what my brother-in-law does to you? He's been telling me that you've been in with him every night this week! You bad boy…"
Harry glared at her once more. His eyes then shifted to see Ron and Hermione staring at him, terrified for him. A smirk crossed over his lips as he looked back to Bellatrix. "I'm sorry, professor, but you're just not my type…" He said sarcastically.
An icy hand whipped him across the face and his head flew sideways with an almighty crack.
"Ha-" He heard Hermione begin to call out his name, but he guessed Ron had slapped a hand over her mouth.
He turned slowly back to the mad witch in front of him, and saw her tight lips contorted into some sort of sneer. "Detention, Potter," She said slowly. "And since this is the last lesson today, you can stay behind and…"
"Or I could take him to my father, Bella."
Harry's head spun round at the voice. That silky voice he had not heard for five days. Draco sat two rows behind him, up straight and attentive.
Five days ago when Draco had said he wouldn't be down by the lake again, Harry had not believed it for a second. But the only time he had seen Draco since that night was in lessons, and they couldn't be seen talking to each other then, or every single last ounce of hope Harry had within him would drift away. But now, what was Draco doing? Harry had guessed he was mad when he didn't go down to the lake at night, but mad enough to offer Harry to his father on a plate? Harry realised that he must have caught a nerve that night.
"Nice of you to offer, Draco," Bellatrix said, bringing Harry back to the room, "But your father has had enough of Potter this week, has he not?"
"Well, yes," Draco started. Harry watched him as he spoke, and he seemed to be finding it hard not to look directly at Harry. "But he informs me that you're fully booked with detentions this evening, and he has only one; and that's later."
Sudden hatred burned up Harry's entire body; hatred he hadn't felt for Draco since the first time they had sat together at the lake – when Harry was still angry about the end of sixth year.
Harry turned back to watch Bellatrix. If he was being honest, he didn't really care which one he ended up doing detention with; they were both as bad as each other. The witch seemed to be considering for a long time, and the class waited with bated breath to hear her verdict.
"You're right. But you must tell you're father that he owes me a student!" She said to Draco. She then 'giggled' and turned back to Harry. "You must thank my nephew, I'll bet you like his father as much as he likes you!"
She cackled as she turned her back on Harry's glare and Harry saw Hermione having to hold Ron back from attacking her. At that moment, for the first time in a long while, Harry felt gratitude for Ron. Perhaps sometimes he was too hard on them after all…
Half an hour later, after the rest of the lesson was spent on teaching the class how best to torture someone, Harry and everyone stood up and gathered there things quickly to leave for the safety of their common rooms. Harry was the exception, of course, as he had to go to the charms room for his detention.
"Harry!" He heard Hermione calling his name as he walked slowly towards the door and turned around to face her. However, when he looked at her, she seemed at a loss for anything to say. "I… Well, we… I don't want to…"
"Spit it out, Hermione," Harry said glumly.
She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Just be careful. I thought you'd have learnt that by now. Stop drawing attention to yourself. I mean seriously, I'm a muggle-born, but you're in more detentions than me!"
"And so I should be!" Harry said a little louder than he had anticipated: Bellatrix seemed to glare at them from the corner of the room as she waited for her next victim of detention. Harry looked back at Ron and Hermione and lowered his voice as he said, "All I'm saying is that just because you're a muggle-born doesn't mean you should be subject to detentions. I don't care, Hermione. I'd rather suffer their punishments for you…" Harry's voice trailed off slightly as he realised that what he was saying was actually the truth. So, although he hadn't known it, he did still care for Ron and Hermione.
He saw Hermione's eyes well up with tears, however, and rolled his eyes as he turned away. But then, just before he left the room, he heard her clear her throat and say steadily, "Thank you, Harry."
Harry turned to look at them once more, and just caught Hermione shrugging Ron's hands off her shoulders, and her face was dry. He smiled weakly at her before they walked past and she said, "We'll see you later then."
With that, Ron and Hermione left the room, and Harry was left in delirious shock for a moment before he realised that Bellatrix was still staring at him, full on now, and he left the room quickly behind them – only to walk straight into Draco.
"What were you doing?" Draco spat at him.
Harry was slightly taken aback by his tone, but then realised that he hadn't spoken to Draco for five days. "Talking to my friends," He said defensively.
Draco started to stalk away down the corridor, and Harry saw no other alternative but to follow him.
"Oh, made up with them again have you?" Draco said quietly as they walked past a tiny group of third years.
"Well, I find that they don't offer me to your father on a pallet!" Harry snapped once out of earshot of the third years.
"Because they don't have the guts to talk to the teachers!" Draco said, walking faster still.
"Only because the teachers aren't their relatives!" Harry said without a second thought.
But a second later, he found himself walking straight into Draco and being shoved against a wall, hitting his head roughly as it happened. Harry had to blink a few times to refocus his sight, but when he opened his eyes properly, he saw Draco standing with his wand pointing right into Harry's face. Harry looked around the corridor quickly but there was no one in sight. And he was so filled with utter shock that he didn't even think to pull out his own wand.
"Do you want my help, Potter?" Draco spat.
Harry coughed out a sarcastic laugh. "Your help?" He repeated. "You're sending me to a night of torture! And if he gets his way, who knows what else?"
Draco lowered his wand slowly and shook his head. "After a month of seeing me every night," He whispered, "You still don't know me?"
Harry uncontrollably cocked his head to the side slightly, and upon seeing this, Draco face filled slowly with unwanted warmth.
"I'd never send you to that," He whispered, so close to Harry's face that he could feel his breath on his cheek.
They seemed to stare at each other for a moment; a moment which seemed like long hours to Harry. But then Harry gulped loudly and moved away slightly.
"So what do you plan to do with me?" He asked calmly.
Draco shrugged. "You can go to your common room if you wish it."
Harry's brow furrowed and he let out another sarcastic laugh. "That would get me in even more trouble! And you!" He added.
"Potter," Draco started, "Whether I like it or not, Bellatrix is my aunt. I can see her whenever I like. I'll just moderate her memory before she sees my father."
Harry laughed and shook his head, "If it was that easy, why don't we do it to all the Death Eaters?" He said sarcastically.
"Because hardly anyone in the school is related to them, it wouldn't be that easy at all," Draco stated.
Harry considered Draco for a minute before saying, "What if you get into trouble?"
"Well I don't get punished half as much as you do; I'd be glad to help."
"Draco…"
"Oh Potter, just put that stupid cloak on and go back to your common room!" Draco demanded suddenly.
Harry stared at him for one more second, and then pulled the cloak out of his pocket and flung it over himself. The moment he disappeared, Draco began striding back from where they had previously walked. But Harry had a sudden urge to say something else.
"Draco," He called.
Draco stopped and turned around. "What?"
Harry gulped. "I… Never mind…"
Draco looked in Harry's general direction and shook his head before he span around, walked round a corner and disappeared from view. Harry stood for a moment in the deserted corridor and dwelled on what he had wanted to say to Draco, but then realised he had no idea in the first place. 'Thank you', he supposed, would have been a good start. He shook his head at his own stupidity, and then turned around and ran back to the Gryffindor common room, where a warm glowing fire burned waiting for him.
Harry still stared into the fire seven hours after his encounter with Draco. He could feel Hermione's eyes burning into the side of his face in an angry glare, but he ignored them for as long as he could. Even though he had realised this afternoon that he still cared for Ron and Hermione a great deal, it didn't stop them having a huge argument as soon as Harry had arrived back when he was supposed to be in detention.
Soon, Harry couldn't stand Hermione's razor stare anymore, and he finally rounded on her.
"Would you stop it!" He yelled suddenly; luckily, however, most people were in bed.
"Stop what?" Hermione asked sarcastically.
"Guys, don't start again…" Ron mumbled quietly, looking at the floor.
Harry ignored him. "Staring at me! I'm not some monkey in a muggle zoo!"
"I never said you were!" Hermione said, raising her voice. "I was just wondering how you got out of the detention today…"
"I told you!" Harry growled slightly. "I didn't 'get out of it', I just didn't go!" He lied.
"You'll get in so much trouble!" Hermione yelled.
"I don't care Hermione!" Harry shouted. "Why don't you get it?! The war is over and it's obvious who's won!"
"But we never even had a war!"
"We did," Harry said, talking calmly all of a sudden, "It's been going on since before we were born."
Hermione stared at him, tears in her eyes once more. Ron looked up at him, but Harry couldn't really define his expression. It was somewhere in between anger, sadness and perhaps a little understanding. Harry was about to pull out his invisibility cloak and walk out of the common room, but for some reason today, he couldn't do it. But he couldn't work out if that was because he wanted to shout at Hermione, or comfort her with Ron.
"Hermione…" He said quietly. Apparently, Hermione had thought that Harry had already left, and so she jumped when she heard his voice. "I'm sorry to be so harsh… but it's the truth…"
"We haven't lost until we give up…" She croaked in tears.
"Well I have. It's over," Harry said sternly. "And you need to stop crying about it, or you'll go mad."
Hermione looked at him. "Like you have, you mean?"
Harry's eyes narrowed. "What does that mean?" He asked quietly.
"It means we know what you do with your free time, Harry," She answered rather stiffly. Harry looked over at Ron, but he seemed to be deep into a book – which was upside down. "You stare into the fire and get completely taken away by your own mind. It's got you locked up and it's not letting you see that there still is hope to win this, Harry."
Harry stared at her, unable to take in what he was hearing.
"You think I'm insane?" He whispered.
Then Hermione seemed to realise what she had just said. "No, Harry… I didn't…"
"I'll just go…" Harry said, wrapping his cloak around himself.
"No Harry! Don't leave! I thought… Maybe tonight… Harry!"
But Harry ignored Hermione's pleading and walked out of the portrait door. He strode once again down the corridors by moonlight, not meeting any sort of barrier. He still thought it strange how the Death Eaters would leave the front doors open at night.
Finally, he reached his spot under the tree next to the lake and flopped down onto the freezing, snow covered ground. His legs and backside were instantly cold and wet, but if he was being honest, he couldn't care less at this moment in time. All he cared about right now were the words spinning around in his mind. The words that Hermione had said to him. Was he really going insane? Of course, she said she didn't mean it, but it was obvious wasn't it? But Harry shook as he thought of all the reasons Hermione was probably right… What if he was really going insane? Imprisoned inside his own mind? It seemed like no one wanted to help him, and yet Hermione and Ron were always trying to; it seemed like no one cared about anyone's health, and yet there were always people healing their friends; and it seemed like no one loved him, and yet, there he was, walking straight towards him.
Harry watched as Draco sat down, not in his usual spot, but a few feet further away. He hadn't been here for so long, perhaps he had just forgotten where they usually sat?
Harry waited, but when Draco did not realise he was in the wrong place he moved around a little and made some snow fall beside him. But Draco still didn't move. Harry sighed, a bit annoyed with everything. No, that was not true. He was extremely annoyed at his entire life. He let his head drop against the tree without meaning to and made a thumping noise. However, even though he didn't mean to do it, he was glad he did when he saw Draco's body twitch a bit.
"I do know you're there, Potter," He said drearily, "You don't have to make yourself noticed."
"I didn't mean to," Harry lied slightly. "Why are you over there?" He asked as an afterthought.
Harry still had his invisibility cloak on, but again, when Draco turned his head, his eyes found Harry's with no difficulty.
"I didn't want to make you angry again," Draco said sarcastically, "I thought if my arm were to brush up against your invisible body then you might attack me."
"I've never attacked you!" Harry said rather loudly.
Draco raised an eyebrow and Harry worked hard to hold back a smirk. Draco was so beautiful when he raised an eyebrow. "Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, last year," He said.
Harry felt his face get slightly warmer in the freezing air of the night, and with it, he saw Draco's expression turn into a sly smirk; and this time Harry couldn't hold his own back. Draco was so utterly delicious when he smirked. Beautiful was one thing; delicious was on a completely new level.
"I've told you before," Harry said, trying to keep his voice steady, "That was an accident."
"Hmm, yes, I know you've told me," Draco grinned.
There was an awkward silence then, and Harry didn't really know how else to fill it but to ask the question that was burning in his mind. All the questions.
"Draco…" He spoke so quietly that he could barely hear his own voice, but Draco twitched his head in response nonetheless. "Why haven't you been here the last couple of days?"
Draco's head moved slightly further around to face Harry, but he seemed to pull it back suddenly and he stared out at the lake, as if in an intense gaze.
"Because I said I wouldn't be," He replied simply.
Harry swallowed with difficulty. "But I didn't believe you."
"Well you should have, shouldn't you," Draco said.
"But then, if you were telling the truth, you shouldn't be here now," Harry stated, "You said you would never come back here."
"Then I lied about that part, didn't I?" Draco snapped.
Harry looked at him as he stared out over the lake, breathing a little too quickly. He let the silence ice over the small argument before he asked his next question.
"Why did you help me today?" He asked quietly.
Draco tutted. "If you don't appreciate my help, Potter, then I won't give it!"
Harry sighed and closed his eyes for three seconds. Draco had obviously had a bad few days, for his mood was never usually this bad.
"I did appreciate it," Harry said calmly, "I was just wondering why you wanted to help me when you were so angry at me."
"Because people do strange things, Harry!" Draco snapped. But ignoring the angry tone in Draco's voice, Harry smiled beneath his cloak. 'Harry' meant he was getting somewhere.
"Well," Harry said, "You are a strange person."
Finally, Draco smiled and looked at Harry again, right at his face.
Now, however, was the most burning question of all. Harry thought he had a good idea of why Draco had had such a bad week since he'd last spoken to him, but he had to make sure… even if it was true…
"How's your week been then?" Harry asked slowly.
Draco looked at him once more, averting his gaze from the lake. His expression, however, was blank. And Harry had no idea what it meant.
"You know how my week has been," He said, and Harry shook his head, forgetting that Draco couldn't see him. "You don't need me to tell you."
"But…" Harry struggled for words as his breathing got steadily quicker. He didn't want to loose Draco. He couldn't loose Draco. Not to her. Not to anyone. "Why didn't you come to me instead?"
"You were angry, Harry," Draco replied quickly, yet talking slowly at the same time. "I was angry. We wouldn't have done each other any good."
"It still would have been better for you!" Harry said, feeling his eyes fill with tears.
Draco had heard Harry's voice waver, and he stood up quickly to walk over to him. "Harry, don't…"
"Why?" Harry shouted now, standing up and letting the cloak slip off him. Draco stopped in his tracks and stared at Harry, who stood quite still, only shuddering slightly because of the cold and the pressure of keeping his tears bottled inside of himself.
"Why what?"
"Why everything!" Harry shouted. "Why do you do it? Why not me? Why her? Why is life like this? Why do we depend on each other for support when you obviously are in love with someone else?!"
Harry hadn't realised what he was saying until ten seconds of silence had gone past after he had finished. Where those really some of the underlying thoughts that stemmed from all of the others in his mind? And had he really just mentioned love?
"I'm not in love with her, Harry," Draco scoffed quietly. Harry did not look at him, but continued to stare at a mound of snow that was larger than the rest. "I'm… I'm sorry that I do it… I hadn't realised it hurt you so much… I… I didn't know you were in…"
"I'm not!" Harry yelled quickly, cutting Draco off. "I'm not in love with you!"
Harry looked into Draco's eyes as he said it, and to his surprise, he saw many different emotions running through them. A smirk appeared first, but it was followed by some sort of sadness, and then, most shockingly of all, embarrassment.
They stood there for a moment, staring at each other as the snow fell down on them. How long had they been standing here, like this? Minutes that went on for hours, hours that went on for days. Days that had miraculously turned into weeks. This wasn't the way that the nightly routine usually occurred, but Harry didn't much care. As long as Draco was here for him to lean on, then the rest was pretty much passable.
Harry shivered in the cold and looked at Draco's clothes. Of course, he was wearing a jumper, since he had been branded with that terrible mark, and yet he didn't want to show it off like the others did. But Harry stood there in nothing more than jeans and a baggy t-shirt – which were both soaked through.
Suddenly, as if reading Harry's thoughts, Draco walked towards him and picked up the cloak that had fallen to the floor.
"Put it back on, you'll be warmer," He said, handing the cloak to Harry.
Harry thought back to two minutes ago. He wondered what Draco really thought of Harry's exclamation. Whatever it was, he seemed to have put it behind him. Harry took the cloak from him and covered his entire body with it.
He went to sit back down, knowing that Draco would follow, and yet, Draco stayed standing.
Harry looked up at him from the ground and could tell from his expression that he was about to ask something.
"Would you like to go for a walk?"
Harry smirked. He had phrased it, of course, the same as he did every single night since he had first said it; in the exact same way. Those words hadn't fallen from Draco's lips for over a week, and Harry had almost felt like begging, but then the smirk slid off his face as he realised that, again, there was something holding him back.
"Not tonight," He replied quietly, looking away.
From the corner of his eye, Harry was sure he saw the old Draco's angry expression return to his face, if only for a second.
"Why?" Draco hissed slightly.
"You know why," Harry replied, still not looking at him.
Draco's eyes seemed to widen in shock and he rushed down to Harry's level. "I haven't, not today… I waited for you after this afternoon..."
Harry turned to look at him and considered for a moment. They had been in this situation before. But Harry could never help but to believe him; those watery grey eyes just sucked him away.
And the next thing he knew, they were walking silently through trees and bushes as thick as treacle, and Harry's cloak had been stuffed carelessly into his pocket as he trudged along ahead of Draco. They walked instinctively, just as Harry did every night in the corridors; with no destination, and yet somewhere they wanted to be. Soon, Harry took sharp turn and held Draco's hand as he did so; as if the turn would disguise the fact that he had touched Draco for more than a second. Of course, it didn't need to be like this anymore, but it was routine from the first time. Things stuck with the both of them, and neither would change it.
Finally, when the trees were too thick that he couldn't even see the full moon, Harry stopped. Draco did not bump into him in the sudden halt, but stood a foot back as they both looked at the tiny patch of bare ground they had come across. Harry shuddered to look at it, and a sudden exhilaration overcame him, and he felt Draco's hand hold his a little tighter.
The patch of ground was slightly worn down from its use, and the fresh leaves that had fallen from the trees high above seemed to create a soft surface for them. Every now and then, tiny clumps of snow would fall around them and make a calming thumping noise on the bushes and dried mud.
"Harry…"
Harry jumped. Draco never usually spoke yet. He turned to look at the blonde who seemed to have tears welled up in his eyes.
"I'm sorry I haven't been down…" Draco whispered. "I don't hate you…"
Harry gulped. It was as if a great weight had been pulled from his chest upwards. It shocked him, for a moment, that four words could cause such an impact. But then, even though it was true of many people that they didn't hate Harry, he never heard those words enough.
Draco's words lingered in the back of his mind as he closed his eyes and saw Ron and Hermione telling him that they didn't have a problem with him, but he never heard them say they didn't hate him.
Harry opened his eyes quickly, smiled and thought of something to say in return, but Draco jumped in before him.
"And I'm sorry I said what I did at the lake the other day," He rushed. "I didn't mean for it to come out like that. What I meant was that I trust you…" There; another phrase that Harry didn't hear enough. "I trust you to help everyone through this." There was a pause then, in which Harry merely began to cry as Draco's face stayed alarmingly dry. And then Draco said it: words to make Harry crumble. He had only heard them come from the same lips once before. And Harry knew then that Draco had had a particularly bad week, and yet still meant every word he spoke with true honesty. "I love you."
Harry looked at him. He smiled weakly and nodded his head slowly. And then, from the smile, hot tears streamed down his face faster than ever before, and words fell from his lips that he didn't think about.
"Don't leave me again, Draco… I need you so much. Why did you leave me?" Harry choked through the tears and suddenly Draco's arms were wrapped around him, warming him and making him safe.
Draco shushed him soothingly and his hand travelled into his hair.
"This week has been different…" He whispered into Harry's ear.
"I don't want to talk about this week," Harry said sternly, "This week is over now."
Suddenly, Draco's hand was holding Harry's tightly and a strange smirk appeared on Harry's face from nowhere, and his heart beat grew slightly faster.
"I like tonight, though," Draco said.
"What?" Harry asked as he was subconsciously pulled to the floor.
"We're having a normal conversation," Draco replied.
Harry sat down in front of Draco, who was still holding his hands, and that smirk appeared on his face again. "I don't want to be conversing at all!" He said.
Draco smirked back in response and Harry shuddered. He couldn't hold anything back any longer and he lunged forward.
Their lips met. For the first time in over a week, their lips met. Harry instantly felt arousal in his cock even before Draco's tongue pushed its way into Harry's mouth and slid silkily over everything it could reach.
Oh, the feel of that tongue could not be beaten by any other. And if it was beaten, it was only by another part of Draco's body. Suddenly, Harry felt a release of pain, anger, sadness, frustration, and every other bad feeling in the world. And as images started to form in his mind, they were all of Draco and him, completely naked on the forest floor, joined together with sweaty limbs and hardened lengths.
This picture drove Harry on, and before he knew that ten seconds had passed, Draco's top had been taken off, and although they were sweaty already, Harry felt goose-bumps on Draco's arms.
Their mouths were parted for a few seconds as Draco yanked Harry's shirt over his head and threw it carelessly, so that it hung from a branch as if watching them. They both began to pant slightly as each of their hands flew to the tops of their trousers and started to tug at belt hooks. But Harry composed himself when Draco's head moved downwards onto his neck and his tongue began to lick every vein that showed. He hated coming too early for the simple reason that Draco would always hold back and tease him with it afterwards.
Quickly, the two boys were naked on the forest floor, and Harry's earlier vision was getting more and more real. Their hands explored each others' bodies as if they had never felt them before, and like they never would get the chance to again.
Harry pushed Draco down slightly forcefully onto his back and head the few new leaves crack under the pressure of his body. Now, with legs on either side of Draco's shameful position, Harry took his wrists in his hands and held them up above his head, pinning him down completely. Harry looked at the Dark Mark embedded on Draco's left arm and smirked, feeling more aroused than before. Merely remembering back to the first night they had done this turned him on, but remembering how the love had begun made him shiver even more.
Harry stopped nibbling Draco's nipples as soon as he had started and froze, looking obscurely at some trees ahead of him. Draco obviously thought he was teasing him for a moment until he opened his eyes and saw Harry's expression.
"Harry?" Draco wheezed through the pants quietly.
Harry's grip on Draco's arm had slackened somewhat when he had realised what he had thought, and Draco quickly lifted an arm and held Harry around his back.
"Harry, what is it?" Draco asked in a slightly worried tone.
Harry blinked and looked over to him. Had he really just thought that? Remembering how what had begun?
"Do – do you really love me, Draco?" Harry asked croakily.
Draco's face suddenly relaxed into a warm, caring smile.
"Yes," He said, "Why?"
Harry smiled weakly back and whispered, "Because I love you too…"
Draco's smile grew wider as he seemed at a loss for anything to say. And he blurted out, "I love you!"
"I love you too!" Harry laughed.
Suddenly Draco's lips were on his again, and a tongue swirled quickly and passionately around his mouth. And then Harry felt it. He hadn't literally found the spot, he hadn't literally done anything, but he felt it. The time was right. It was now. What they were about to do wasn't just sex anymore. He didn't know if it ever had been 'just sex' to Draco, but it definitely wasn't for Harry anymore. And he quickly pushed himself into Draco without warning. He heard a slight scream – crossed between pleasure and pain, he guessed; but more pain probably – as Draco's mouth inched away from his with a jolt. Instant trickles of sweat began to run down Harry's forehead as he moved extremely slowly inside Draco, who continued to squirm and pant and groan so loudly that Harry was sure the sound would travel all the way back to the Hogwarts castle.
But he didn't care. Anyone could find them here, and Harry wouldn't care. Hagrid might think that one of his beloved creatures was seriously ill and run through to find them joined together; but Harry couldn't care.
Draco's fingers scratched at Harry's back, and he was sure he felt small beads of blood running down his side as Draco re-opened healing wounds from whips and chains, but after a second he hardly noticed and forgot about it. The entirety of his pain or pleasure was further down than his back, and rested at the spot where Harry and Draco had become one person.
Soon, Harry's thrusts became quicker as Draco's moaning subsided a little – which meant that he was ready for Harry now. One arm travelled quickly down to Draco's cock and quickly started to rub it at the same pace as Harry moved in, out, in, out… The other arm stayed slipping slightly on the ever softening mud; softening from the sheer heat of their bodies that rubbed against each other. Rubbed against the earth.
Harry's hair on his head became quickly matted and stuck to the sides of his face, forehead and scar. He opened his eyes slightly to see Draco's face. That beautiful face. Draco's head was arched back and pushing into the sodden leaves beneath him, making each and every thin, and yet strong, vein in his neck stick out sharply. Harry suddenly let out a small moan and bent down while still keeping his rhythm going to lick the neck and shoulders that he had leant on for comfort so many times. When he pushed himself weakly back up, he heard Draco's voice whisper to him: something that had never happened before.
"Harry…" It whispered. Harry looked down on his lover, whose hair was slowly turning a dirty brown from the mud on the ground. His eyes were open, but didn't seem to be properly focused, and it looked as if Draco was fighting to close his mouth. "I-love-you…" He said breathlessly.
Harry, however, had no breath to speak, so he bent down quickly to kiss Draco's dry lips.
Harry felt himself about to come, as Draco already had done in his hand with a loud call out. But Draco spoke again just as Harry groaned louder than ever before and his whole body went rigid.
"I won't ever leave you…" Draco said, still breathlessly. "Please don't leave me…"
Harry panted and pulled away, brushing Draco's body with his own as he collapsed on the still dry mud next to him.
"I won't…" He breathed, "If you won't…"
"Never," Draco said certainly.
Harry closed his eyes softly and moved his arm slowly to hold Draco's hand. As he relaxed his body into the leaves underneath him, he suddenly felt sharp pains on his back and remembered the feel of blood trickle.
He smiled softly to himself. "You cut me…" He said matter-of-factly.
He felt Draco make a sudden movement next to him. "What?"
"It doesn't matter, it just shows me how much you loved it," Harry smirked.
Although his eyes weren't open, he could basically see Draco smirking above him, and he suddenly realised how Draco could look straight into his eyes when he wore his invisibility cloak.
Then, the two fell silent. Harry dozed off into a light sleep as Draco nuzzled his body against Harry's, but he wasn't so asleep that he couldn't hear Draco's breathing. He loved to be able to hear Draco's steady breath in, out, in, out… If he couldn't hear that when he lay on the forest floor, it would be like there was no hope left in the world, even though he knew perfectly well that Draco always laid behind him. it was this fact that made Harry know that he would be nothing without Draco. For six years he had gotten through the hard times with Ron and Hermione, but now they just fooled themselves into believing things that weren't true, and suddenly Harry's worst enemy had become his only source of love, comfort and caring. Draco was, after all, the only person he could tell things, confide in, trust above all others. He needed and loved Draco, just as Draco loved and needed him.
Harry sighed after a long while – he didn't know how long exactly – and sat up, stirring Draco awake as he did so.
"Don't go…" Draco whispered sleepily.
"I'm probably late already," Harry said, finding his glasses on the floor and putting them on.
"Harry, curfew was over four hours ago, you made yourself late when you left the castle!" Draco laughed slightly.
Harry looked at him and Draco's smile disappeared. "I'm late with Ron and Hermione," Harry said quietly.
"I see…" Draco replied. "Well, just promise you'll come back tomorrow."
Harry smiled, "I promise if you promise," He said.
Draco smiled and stood up. The next five minutes were spent on finding clothes and putting them on. Then, much to both of their disappointments, the two seventh years started the long walk back to the edge of the forest. As the trees grew thinner, and Harry was able to look up to the sky and see stars, he pulled his invisibility cloak out of his pocket and put it on.
All too quickly, they had reached the same spot that they sat every night and looked out over the frozen lake.
They stood in silence for a few seconds, and then, at the exact same time, they turned round to face each other and said, "I love you."
Harry smiled and saw Draco do the same.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Harry," Draco said. Harry could tell that Draco wanted a kiss, but even though he could look into Harry's eyes through the cloak, he could not find his mouth to kiss.
Draco turned to leave, but Harry had a sudden burning question at the front of his mind. And even though he thought it would ruin the entire night, he said, "Wait, Draco…" Draco stopped and turned. "Does she tell you she loves you?" He asked.
Draco answered immediately. "Yes," He said quietly.
"Does she say it the way I do?" Harry asked, but without waiting for a reply he added, "You know I love you more than anyone else does."
Draco smiled softly. "I know that. She doesn't say it like you; she thinks she loves me, but she doesn't."
Harry relaxed slightly but there was one more thing he needed to know before Draco left. "What is your response?"
Shockingly, Harry saw a thin evil smirk appear on his face. "I leave," He answered. "She's slowly learning not to say it for her own benefit. But she won't get chance to say it again."
Harry smiled beneath his cloak and watched Draco turn and walk away. He believed him. A strange sense inside of him was telling him to believe Draco. He knew that no one would ever get the chance to tell Draco they loved him apart from Harry now. Not after tonight. The night that changed their lives forever probably.
Harry didn't know what was going to happen to them in their last year of school; whether they'd die from torture, be killed from torture, escape from torture or anything. But he knew that as long as Draco was there for him to talk to every night, he'd get through it.
Harry watched Draco walking away and slowly wandered after him. Walking along the earth that had joined them together forever, gazing every now and then at the lake that had been their first topic of conversation, back to the fire that burned his eyes every night; the fire from which Draco managed to cure him…
'If I don't say this now I will surely break Oh, oh, oh, oh
As I'm leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate.
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Be my baby There now, steady love, so few come and don't go Oh, oh, oh, oh,
I'll look after you.
Will you won't you, be the one I always know.
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down.
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh,
Be my baby,
I'll look after you,
And I'll look after you…
If ever there was any doubt Oh, oh, oh, oh,
My love he leans into me
This most assuredly counts
He says most assuredly
Be my baby, It's always have and never hold, Oh, oh, oh
I'll look after you
You've begun to feel like home.
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own.
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh'
-'Look After You' by The Fray.
A/N Hope you all enjoyed it, thanks for reading!! And also, since I forgot to write at the top, I do not own the song lyrics, all rights go to the band 'The Fray'.