Fear is a word I've come to become rather close to . Fear of judgement for example or more recent the fear of being alone. Odd though, since I enjoyed having time to myself every now and then but I hated this strange longing feeling to be near someone. I do believe this is the reason I took such a keen interest in someone as different as he was. His personality was a magnet to my darker poisoning behaviors. I think I did poison him with my arrogant and narcissistic ways. I didn't mean to do what had happened but I regret it everyday. (I do believe Blondie told me once that regret was a sign of hope for me. ) I caused him so much pain from day one.
I was jostled out of my thoughts by that damn nurse again . She was a skinny girl with chestnut brown hair that hung above her shoulders something about that little sway in her step almost drove me to jumping the lady. We had a mutual hatred for each other but she wasn't exactly as bad as my other nurses . I hated those sickly sweet nurses always asking if I was okay. If I was, I wouldn't be here right? We didn't Say a word to each other. I wasn't up for talking to her anyways I'd probably just write another note to Him again. I always wondered if he ever got any of the notes I sent. Either way Writing down my thoughts made me feel better, something about the power in writing it down I guess.
She left faster then usual something important must be today , a birthday maybe? Allowing the thoughts to drift away I rummaged through a box of my belongings. I kept my letters from him in here and any other picture or evidence of his existence. I often questioned myself if he even existed. My therapist, concerned with my obsession, asked the same things but I did have proof! I've never let anyone touch this box in fear of losing the only memories I have left of the sapphire eyed boy. Pulling out a picture I examined it smiling to myself as the memories of the last day of junior year flooded through my mind. Its been what, 3 years now? He was probably at college now attempting to follow his dreams in this god damned corrupted society. Did I mention how much I hated Society? I turned the photo over to brush my fingers over the names written on the back. Link. Yes that was his name. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to relive that wonderful year of my life. A shame it ended so fast. Like a blink of the eye he was taken away from me and I was thrown in this unrealistic Illusion.
Oh yes, Link, he was the only one who would ever understand me completely and not I'm not normal not in the slightest . I suppose it happened subtly the voices came to me as slight whispers and deepened into something more deep and complex. Perplexing personalities trapped in my head seething to come out. My sanity started to wane and they became apart of my very being . Link named them gave them life . And he always knew who was in control at the time . Red was the child like personality innocent in his youth . Vio the calm caring personality, Link was always fond of him I think. Oh and who could forget Blue the broken personality full of hatred and disgust . And of course myself or at least the remaining pieces of my very identity I held close. I suppose this information is hard to digest at first. Link had to take a bit to understand . But that's beside the point I suppose I should start at the very beginning .
Well Link and I met in a rather odd place for myself. I had managed to sneak out of my house to go to the library . Reading was a pleasant escape for me I relish in the light hearted stories I read and I always hoped for a happy ending of my own of course just look where I ended up.
When I saw him at the library I thought he'd be just like everyone else . One of those sporty stuck up teens who wouldn't even glance in my general direction, but boy was I wrong. He approached me out of the blue and leave it to me to be reading something rather erotic when our paths would entertwine.
"H-Hey there. " he whispered . I almost didn't hear him but leave it to me to pick it up . Startled I dropped the book I was examining to stare wide eyed in to some rather beautiful watery cerulean eyes.
"Did I startle you ?" Worry crossed his features as I stooped down to pick up my abandoned book."I guess you could say that."Avoiding eye contact I made my way around him but he of course had to grab my wrist. "Hey wait, "His eye brows bushed together in a thoughtful manner."What are you reading?" My face instantly went red and I swear someone in my head was laughing at me.( I believe it was Red now that I look back)
"Just something a friend suggested..." I trailed off . Begging one of those goddesses he wouldn't press further on."Oh here." I hardly even noticed he was holding a book until he dropped it ontop of mine. "This is one my favorites." He smiled at me . I wanted to smile back . I really did , but I was overly cautious with everyone. Emotion was a sign of weakness or so my Father(literally) beat into me. I moved away from him staring down at the book rather perplexed by the exotic designs on the front."Thanks. I muttered a little too distainfully. I watched as his facial features sunk and he almost looked hurt before a broad smile engulfed his face. I actually checked his book out mainly because I felt this horrible tugging in my chest. I give him credit for having the courage to speak to someone like myself.
This is where are fates would forever be laced together I never realized that taking his book would lead to such a tragic end for the both of us. This is merely the beginning of all the lies and hope you some day forgive me Link.