Hey, it's me again! I wrote this story for my friend, who's kind of Greed-obsessed. My philosophy is, anything that has rap in it is automatically funny. Enjoy! Thanks to Scary Movie 3 for the inspiration.

It was Friday night at the Devil's Nest. All the gang members and thugs would come here to relax after a long, stressful week. But they also came..for the Friday kareoke!

Greed, Loa, and Dorochet were sitting at a table watching Martel wail on "Undeniable Sin".

"She's pretty good," said Greed.

"Yeah," agreed Dorochet. "It's too bad that she's stuck in a lousy dump with a bunch of slobs like us."

"Hey!" muttered Loa.

"Well, I gotta go up and say something," As Martel finished her song, The hommunculus got up on stage and grabbed the microphone. "Okay, I just wanna say, this is my bar, and it was my idea for kareoke night, MINE, so I rock!" He flashed a big grin at the crowd.

"He is so full of himself," said Martel as she sat back down.

"Honestly, someone needs to teach him a lesson," declared Loa.

At this, Dorochet's eyes lit up. He smiled. "And I think we're just the ones to do it."

The other two looked at him, puzzled. "Go get Kimbley. I've got an idea..."

"Okay, listen up, people," shouted Dorochet a little later, into the mic. "We're gonna try something special tonight," He cleared his throat. "Greed and Kimbley are gonna face each other off in a rap battle!"

"Buh?" said both of the contestants together.

Loa, without a word, pushed them both on stage.

"Okay, Greed's gonna go first, 'cause he's the owner and all." Martel handed him the mic.

At the chance to strut and be cool, Greed lost his confusion immediately. He began to make beat-box noises.

"Yo everybody in da Devil's Nest,

Put ya hands in da air, 'cuz Greed is da best!

I want money, power, fame and women,

And soon Kimbley here is gonna be swimmin'

In defeat! "Cuz he cant beat me,

I'm gonna whoop your ass from A to Z!

Kimbley's story may be angstier,

But Greed's gonna win, 'cuz Greed is gangstier!

Yo!"

The crowd was silent. Some people clapped nervously. "Is 'gangstier' even a word?" asked one person.

"That was absolutely dreadful. You're the worst rapper in the world." said Dorochet in his best Brittish accent.

At this, Greed prepared to lunge at him. But Loa held him back. "Sorry, but if you attack the judges, you'll be disqualified."

"Feh," muttered the Homunculus, but he obeyed.

"Okay, now it's Kimbley's turn," yelled Martel. He stepped out onto the stage and began,

"Well listen to me everybody in the room,

I'm Zolf J. Kimbley and I make things go boom!

I killed a lot of people down in Ishbala,

And made the military hot under the collah.

They put me in jail, but I got out,

And you know I'm gonna win, "cuz Greed don't know 'nuthin 'bout rappin! And what's happening tonight,

Is Kimbley's gonna taste victory in the fight!

Oh yeah, I can rap good, you bet,

I'm gonna betray you, too, but you don't know that..yet!"

Everyone cheered as he dropped the mic.

"Well, I think we all know who the victor is," said Dorochet. "Kimbley, the judges agree-you win!"

They were just about to shake his hand, when the doors of the Devil's Nest burst open. Standing there was a mob of young girls, many of them holding Greed plushies.

"He beat Greed-san!" shouted the leader, pointing at kimbley. "GET HIM!"

The mob of Greed fangirls began piling on top of Kimbley and beating the pulp out of him.

The chimeras stared at the scene in shock. "I didn't expect THAT to happen," said Dorochet.

"That was Fun!" exclaimed Greed from behind them. "Let's do that again sometime!"