Description: Haley is ruining her life. Who will be there to save her from herself? Or will she run off and leave the ones she love behind to pursue an unforgotten dream? Strictly Laley friendship, only mentionings of Naley. Oneshot.

Authors Note: Well, look at me go, im browsing my writing options! Title is from a song written by The Spill Canvas, I don't own them nor do I own One Tree Hill. Grande thanks to my best pal Dayz. Check out her brand new amazing fic If Tomorrow Never Comes.

Dutch Courage

Haley James Scott was looked at as one of the greatest role models in her lifetime. She was smart, pretty and had the money people dreamed about.

So why was it so hard for her best friend to believe all of that? From his perspective she wasn't smart, pretty and she sure as hell had no money. Was going out every night and drowning yourself in unbelievable amounts of alcohol smart because you held pity for yourself?

What if the things she thought about, the things she knew, things she didn't dare share with others, her true colors were to come out and be her actual beauty, would she be pretty then? Or how about spending all of your hard earnedmoney just to get a high or a little tipsy so you were numb for even just a half of a day?

What was even worse was that her husband didn't even know she was sneaking around with Chris Keller and ready to leave him at any time, to go and pursue her life long dream.

She never really understood as to why she did these things. Put up a fake front for everyone to see and smile at because she was "perfect".

Paranoia.

Was this all really a self defense, so she wouldn't get hurt realistically? To her it was, it was her mission. Even putting her guard down in front of Nathan made her feel weak and vulnerable. She couldn't be that girl anymore. Getting married at 17 was her moment of vulnerability. She promised him forever but really she was just looking for that security blanket, something to protect her from the world.

And as irony would have it, she realized he had more problems then her. A father who would go to the ends of the earth just to make anyone's life a living hell, a mother who popped pills and only god knew why. A bastard of a brother who she still considered her best friend.

Lucas Eugene Scott.

Best friend to Haley for 15 years. He knew the real her, her darkest secrets. He was there every night to take her home in her intoxicated state and made sure she was taken care of. He made sure she was well fed and changed her clothes so that she didn't reek of vomit.

Tonight had been no different. He just sat there watching her, noticing just how fragile she was. He wasn't sure if he wanted to touch her, if he could touch her. Yes, he'd done it many times, but he couldn't do it anymore.

She was screwing her life up into pieces that were meant to be whole and filled with life and love not hate and sorrow.

Her eyes fluttered opened as they did many times before and she knew without question where she was.

"Why?" Lucas couldn't take it anymore, she was destroying her life for shameless nights.

Haley wasn't stupid, she knew right away what he was talking about, but after just coming out of her "drunk coma," she didn't feel it was necessary to get into this sore subject right now.

"Lucas now is most definitely not the time to be playing 21 questions."

"Then when will it be Haley? Look at you. You're full up to the brim with all that 'he said, she said' trash, when you should be worried about your marriage and the commitment you've made to Nathan."

"What the hell are you talking about Luke?"

He sighed, she always did play as if she knew nothing about the situation.

"You need to stop seeing Chris Keller and you need to get that stupid thought about you leaving Nathan and running of with Chris just so you can sing a couple of shows, where we both know you'll end up being the junkie at the back of the stage thinking your at the top of the mountain when really you've fallen to the bottom and broken quite a few bones."

She laughed. "This is ridiculous, first of all you don…."

He cut her off by throwing a note on her lap. "I found this the other day, while I was going through your clothes for your next mission impossible."

"Look Luke, you need to understand..."

"You have got to be fucking kidding me Haley. Understand what? That you're an alcoholic? That you're a druggie just like Deb?"

She looked down, she knew he was right but hearing him say it just made it that much more harder for her.

"Don't say that," she whispered, "don't you dare say that, I'm tired of you treating me like a 10 year old, you just don't know what it's like leading my life."

Lucas scoffed, she was being pathetic and he wasn't going to let her get away with it, not anymore.

"You set yourself up for this life, now its time for you to set up a new one, start off clean. Stop talking to Chris Keller."

"No."

"Damnit Haley, when are you finally going to look in a mirror and see the person you have become, the monster you've become. When are you going to realize that there are so many people out there that adore and love you. Why are you the only one that can't see that?"

She looked at him straight in the eyes, "because, I'm scared and there's nothing I can do about it. This is my life, this is it for me, nothing better can come out of it, get that through your head already Luke. It's over."

"Only if you make it that way, and I know you, you can fight the insecurities, you can fight the fear."

He could see the tears evident in her eyes while she shook her head feverishly.

"No, I can't, it's over," she looked up, and starred him in the eyes, "I'm leaving with Chris in the morning. I can't be here anymore."

"10 bucks say you don't have it in you. To conquer fear and to quit believing what he tells you to. You're careening shamelessly into oblivion. You're going to end up living alone with scattered chemicals and gin, all because you made one decision and that was to not make your life right. How stupid and immature can you be?"

Haley was about to open her mouth and say something when he stood up and told her to stay put and listen to him.

"I've had enough of your bullshit. I am utterly disgusted with the past and present you trek. As inebriated as you can get off of your latest pay check. I am literally beginning to become at a loss for words here but you know what, I hate to break it to you James but being a coward is not a legitimate career."

She had it, enough was enough. She knew she was a screw up, she knew she put this on herself but why couldn't he just let it go, let her go.

"You have no right Lucas. Not a damn right. We were born and raised the same way, so what gives you a right to say any of this? Because you're my best friend? Because you care? News flash superman, this is my life, my body, and I'll do what I damn please in order to be secure with myself and who I am. If that consists of drinking my life away then so be it."

Lucas raised his hands to his head, as if to be saying "what the hell are you talking about".

"Haley, listen to yourself! Fine we were both raised the same way, but its obvious it didn't work out the same for us, you do drugs, you drink nonstop just because you couldn't live a dream, there is no one else to blame but yourself. You need to be the bigger person for yourself and realize that already." He started to pace the room, and after a few minutes stopped and looked at her. "You know what? At least I'm not a cheat, at least I'm not a liar, and at least I don't care what these goddamn mindless people think of me."

She smiled sadly. "Yeah you're right, but not all roads lead to the same one your on Luke."

With that she grabbed her half empty bottle of vodka with her jacket and exited his room without saying goodbye.

The next morning Lucas woke up to the noise of his cell phone, looking at it briefly seeing "Nathan" flash across his phone he picked it up hoping Haley had arrived safely. Instead it was Nathan crying on the other end saying Haley had left to be with Chris, leaving him a note saying she was sorry but she couldn't bring everyone down into the life she's been leading.

Lucas drove to Nathan's house, knowing he would need comforting, at the same time knowing he would need the same treatment. Walking into the apartment doors, the first thing he saw was her keyboard.

She existed behind her keyboard, but now she was gone in a flash.

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