All 13 seats in the Round Room were filled every member who seemed to match the theme of every dull room in the castle besides Marluxia that is. That taffy pink haired man stuck out like a dick on a female statue and the scent of his floral perfume shot through the nose as if it was being sprayed up the nasal cavity. That man was trying to be noticed.
Once Xemnas cleared his throat to get everyone's attention, he glared at everyone, giving his signature rapist smile. "You may be wondering why I have gathered you all here today," his deep voice vibrated against the walls of the room, "and I am delighted to tell you why."
Demyx, who was as sharp as a bowling ball, flicked a piece of dirt off his cloak. "Wait is this another one of those meetings where you try to get us to try psychotherapy again? 'Cause I am not doing that." His annoying nasally voice made Saix, who sat next to him, want to shove his body through a meat grinder. He always held grudges against him and his childish behaviour.
It was silent for a moment and Xemnas furrowed his brows. "No, Number Nine. This is something more important than your mental health."
"So, my physical health?" Demyx guessed.
"No." Xemnas glanced around the room, hoping Demyx wouldn't interrupt again. "Members, I am pleased to announce that Saix and I received an invitation to participate in the annual Villain Leadership Conference."
Saix glared daggers at everyone, forcing them to clap and pretend to be happy for their superiors.
Axel, the troublemaker of the organization who looked as bored as a midget in a theme park,tittered as he received the death glare from Saix. "Haha wow you sure are the greatest boss ever!" He lied, clapping his hands while watching Saix's threatening glare subside. "Not." He mumbled under his breath once he knew he was in the clear.
"We will be leaving this afternoon and will return in two days." Xemnas continued with a smile. "I expect you to complete missions throughout the worlds and for Roxas to collect hearts." The blond teenage boy looked away in embarrassment at the mention of his name. He didn't' like to be in the spotlight. "When we return we expect the castle to be in its original state without an object out of place. There is a list posted in the Gray Area of what we expect to be done while we are away. Are there any questions?"
Larxene, the only female of the organization exchanged devilish grins with Marluxia. "Nope we got everything under control, Xemnas." She faked a smile at her superior, showing her toothpaste commercial perfect teeth.
When nobody else spoke, the Superior smiled. "Excellent. I don't want to have to turn any of you into dusks when I return. Meeting dismissed."
When Saix and Xemnas went to finish up some last minute packing, the rest of the members piled into the Gray area.
Axel swiped the piece of lined paper that was taped to the wall and rolled his eyes. "Does he really expect us to do everything on here? What a crock of bullshit. I say we hire a maid."
"I like maids. Let's do it." Xigbar, a man with an eyepatch butted in. Everyone else seemed to agree as well.
A cheshire cat grin stretched across Axel's face. "And we can throw all the parties we want."
"Woo!" Xigbar shouted, throwing a fist in the air. "It'll be like Woodstock 2.0!"
"Ugh!" Scoffed Marluxia over-dramatically. "There is no way I'm letting you infiltrate the castle with your dirty friends! I just shampooed these carpets!" Xigbar rolled his eyes with a sigh. "Look at it!" He shouted while grabbing the back of the man's neck and forcing him to look down at the fluffy, white carpet that they installed two months ago. "LOOK AT IT!"
"Geez, Marluxia calm down." Axel intervened, grabbing the pink haired man's wrist and removing it from Xigbar's neck. "We get it you're a clean freak. We promise not to make any kind of mess and we'll pick up after ourselves. You don't have to worry about a thing." He placed a hand on the man's shoulder. "Look, you go relax in your bubblebath and listen to some of your Beethoven and watch some of your soap operas and we'll take care of the castle." A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips.
Marluxia relaxed a bit and breathed out a sigh. A nice warm bubble bath sounded absolutely amazing right now. He couldn't wait to feel his farts vibrate against the bottom of the tub and create even more bubbles when the gas surfaced as he sipped away at some expensive champagne. "Wait a minute!" He snapped. "How do I know that you aren't lying and that you aren't going to have a huge party and create a mess?"
Axel held out his pinky and rose a brow. "Pinky promise." With a smug grin, Marluxia intertwined his pinky with his firmly and off he went to pamper himself. "Alright!" Axel exclaimed, crossing his arms. "Now that the pansy is out, who wants to party?"
Nearly half of the organization shouted cheers of agreement.
Xemnas and Saix left later than expected as the Superior couldn't find his favorite tie that would complement his evil, expensive suit he recently purchased. Axel grew impatient as he was itching to start partying with his friends. Once the two were out the door, Xigbar punched in the numbers of his friends into his cellphone while Axel ordered a few pizzas.
Within half an hour the castle was packed with various types of people. There were a group of gamblers that Luxord invited to start a poker match and they seemed to be classy, clean, and snobby. Xigbar's friends had raggedy clothing and looked homeless and were very rowdy and noisy. They caused the room to smell like a hundred garbage trucks had an orgy that involved microwaved shit fresh from the ass of someone who consumed Taco Bell- they knew that smell all too well as Xemnas ordered it every Saturday. There were other people there that nobody really knew and they wondered how they even got here, but they partied on nonetheless.
Axel noticed the banquet table he had set up needed to be replenished as the mounds of junk food and soda were nearly gone. He wondered just how that was possible as he barely saw anyone indulge in the artery clogging foods. Shrugging, he went into the kitchen and noticed they didn't have anymore chips or packs of soda- all that was in the cupboards were essential baking ingredients like flour and baking powder.
"Roxas! Demyx!" He shouted as he shut the cupboard door. The two immediately rushed into the kitchen, saluting as they were ready to assist.
"Yes, sir!" They said in unison.
"All the snack foods are gone and I think I know who's been stealing from us."
"Who, sir?"
"Diz."
Demyx and Roxas glanced at each other in confusion.
"Who's Diz?" Demyx asked as he scratched his head.
Axel shifted his weight to his left hip and crossed his arms. "You know, the guy who lives in the air vents?" The other two still looked confused and Axel sighed, shaking his head. "You know what? Roxas bring Zexion with you. You guys are the smallest ones here. I'd have Larxene go, but I think she's having tea with Satan right now."
Demyx seemed disappointed and sulked out of the kitchen.
"We have a guy living in the vents?" Roxas questioned, wondering if all those times he felt being watched in his bedroom were Diz peeping at him. He shuddered at the thought.
"Yes, Roxas. How do you not know that? It's in the Organization manual you get when you first join."
"You told me to give it to the ogre in the woods because he'd use it as toilet paper so I did."
Axel was expressionless and his eyes grew to the size of golfballs. "Wait- there's an ogre in the woods? I was just kidding!"
Roxas went on to tell him that the giant green ogre smelled like rotten eggs and had a talking donkey living with him who made him delicious waffles with butter and syrup. He went on to say that the ogre gladly took the book because his other one barely had any pages left as he used it for toilet paper. Axel was dumbfounded by all of this and his jaw dropped in disbelief. If ogres lived in the woods around their castle, then what else could be lurking behind the trees?
Roxas left the kitchen to go find Zexion, the shortest male in the organization who had a resting bitch face and a curtain of hair covering his right eye. The teen never voluntarily approached this man before as he felt intimidated and admittedly afraid. Roxas figured he'd be in his room, away from everyone else, but was surprised to see him in the Gray Area socializing. Lexaeus, the tallest and buffest member in the organization was Zexion's shadow and often acted like his bodyguard.
Swallowing his fear he stumbled towards the short man and smiled awkwardly.
"What do you need, Roxas?" Zexion asked. If there were a sound for a conceited, posh, douchebag, Zexion's voice was it.
The blond teen searched for words to say. How was he supposed to tell this guy that they had to crawl into the air vents to get their snack food back? It was completely ridiculous and he wondered why Axel couldn't have asked him himself.
"Well uhm…"
Zexion set down what seemed to be a glass of wine and crossed his arms. "'Uhm' isn't a word. If you have something to say then do so, otherwise don't waste my time."
"Okay this is going to sound weird, but Axel needs you and I to crawl into the air vents and confront Diz about the snack foods he's been stealing from us." The man in a suit whom Zexion was chatting to walked away with a "this isn't my problem" look.
The short man laughed and Lexaeus scoffed. "That's the most ludicrous thing I've heard all day. You got this from Axel, correct?" Roxas nodded. "What is it- 10 o'clock? Surely he's intoxicated by now. Why don't you do something productive like-"
"He's not drunk or anything. I'm being serious. You don't know about Diz either?"
Zexion narrowed his eyes, trying to figure out if he really knew who Diz was. He couldn't recall a moment in his time at the Organization coming across a man named Diz and he had been there longer than Roxas. Zexion knew just about everything that went on and for the dumbest member in the Organization to know something that he didn't, just hurt a little bit. He was that much of bitch.
"Look, I'll admit that I have no idea what you are talking about, but it all seems like nonsense to me. Go pester Axel or something." He waved off Roxas and took a sip of his drink. Lexaeus glared down at the boy who cowered in fear. The two walked away, most likely talking about how stupid Roxas was or something.
From the corner of his eye, Roxas swore he saw a face peer into the window, but when he looked again, nobody was there. Now in a paranoid state, he rushed back to Axel- the face etched into his mind. He could clearly remember that the man had trimmed facial hair and brown eyes.
"What the matter Roxas?" Axel asked after chugging a can of soda, noticing how pale his friend looked. "You look like you've seen Jesus filling Jay Leno with the Holy Spirit." He set down his red can of soda on a nearby table with a belch.
"Uh, nothing's wrong." Roxas quickly spat, trying his hardest to appear normal and failing horribly. He rocked back and forth on the heels of his feet.
Axel slowly nodded his head, not believing he was okay and not wanting to question him about it. "So how'd it go with Zexion?"
"He thinks I'm insane." His blonde friend replied with a slight pout and narrowed eyes as if he was upset with his friend for making him talk to the schemer.
Axel laughed. "Everyone thinks you're insane, Roxas." He patted his friend on the back. "It's because you didn't deliver the bait properly. Zexion won't go if you straight up tell him he has to go into the air vents to some magical fucking mansion that pervy Diz lives in. You gotta sell it better than that." He took a quick sip from his soda and set it back down. "Watch."
Roxas watched his best friend strut over to the bitchy schemer across the room and saw the two conversate. He could tell from Zexion's body language he was pissed off again. He was pretty hard to convince to do something, unless it benefited him in someway. He watched the shorter one cross his arms and shake his head as Axel slumped over in disappointment. His friend reached into his cloak pocket and hesitantly placed something in the schemer's hand. So much for Axel's influential way of words.