Chapter I

"Damn you, Thomas Shelby, damn you", I whispered to myself while walking to the place next to the canal where we used to meet up before the war. It was our little getaway from Small Heath, we spend so many hours there finding comfort in each other's arms.

I knew he was seeing someone else, the pretty girl that lived just on the outside of Birmingham. I saw her leave the betting shop a couple of times, once they were even holding hands. I remember that day very well because it was the first time I saw her. I remember running to the bathroom as fast as I could, because I felt so sick I was sure my stomach wouldn't be able to hold my breakfast anymore. I once loved the fact that my dad's bakery was just across the street from the betting shop, I could see Tommy on daily basis, but now it's just a reminder of broken promises.

I was heartbroken when I realised he moved on, I was heartbroken but I was still able to live with it and work through the day. But this morning the women in the bakery were talking about that he actually is engaged to her and that was just too much for me to handle. If they really were engaged then there is no hope for me of him coming back, and I don't know if I can actually live with that. So I took the day off, told my father I felt ill and wanted to go home but in all honesty I just wanted to go to the place where we fell in love and poured our hearts out to each other.

The last time I visited our spot was weeks ago, I promised myself to never come back and forget about all the memories that the place held. Another promise broken.

I sighed in relief when I saw the canal and the white building that held the hay, relief because I was finally alone, I could finally cry and scream my heart out without someone even noticing or asking questions. Because that was the hardest part of it all, I wasn't able to show how sad I was or I couldn't talk to anyone about how broken I felt, because no one knew. Thomas and I kept everything so beautifully hidden that I sometimes wondered if it was just my imagination. Perhaps the relationship we had was one long dream. 'A dream' I laughed at myself, it felt more like a nightmare now, a nightmare I couldn't wake up from.

But what I saw then was something I could have never imagined. I felt my soul leaving my body and the weight of the world fall upon me, I felt so heavy I couldn't even move my knees were weak and I felt like they soon would give in to the weight that fell upon me.

"You are the best thing that ever happened to me, Eleanor" he said while stroking my cheek with his hand. "God you're so beautiful" and he pressed his lips on mine. The warmth of his body on mine felt like home. Something I wanted to wake up to for the rest of my life.

There he was, his blue eyes observant of the girl in front of him. Her legs wrapped around him while she was sitting on a haystack. Her dress was pulled up to her waist and her head tilted back while her hands were on his chest. Her moans were getting louder as Tommy moved quicker until they both trembled in each other's arms.

I couldn't move, I wanted to so badly, but my feet wouldn't let me and then I suddenly felt it. The scrambled eggs and toast I had this morning making their way up and within seconds it splattered all over the concrete. I coughed and gasped for air because I forgot to breath and then I looked up, shame all over my face.

"Eleanor?"

A/N: Hey guys thank you for reading, I just wanted to say that I hope you guys weren't put off by the little flashback I put in!
I know this chapter is very short but I promise the others will be longer ! Feedback, tips and comments are always welcome !