DRUGS ARE BAD! JUST SAY NO, and all of that stuff. If you don't know what this means, I'll tell you. This story contains mentions of drugs. I haven't used, so all of the actions written here are second-hand, made up things, with a few guesses at the results. So, DON"T DO DRUGS! THEY WILL KILL YOU! I don't own Hetalia or weed, thank you very much.
Netherlands looked at his calendar. It was United Nations Day on Monday, he realized. The big holiday (for nations) was an important event…and was usually messed up by all of the arguing nations. America fought with the Middle East, Britain and France tried killing each other, even neutral Switzerland fought with his sister, Belgium, over whose chocolate was better. Russia was creepy, Sweden glared at everybody, Denmark bothered everybody, Romano beat up Spain, and many of the African countries declared war on each other.
Naturally, this was a problem for Netherlands to solve. To make the other nations get along…that was a tough problem, but not impossible to solve. He just needed a little help. Namely in the form of drugs. Weed, if you want to be specific. It would calm everyone down, no one would fight, and he would be King! Don't tell anyone about that last part, because that's supposed to be a secret.
It looks like he'll be busy. Enough weed to calm down people like Russia? He was going to need a lot of it. He pulled out his phone, and called Canada, his drug buddy.
"Hey, dude, I've got a favor to ask. You remember the stuff we smoked a few weeks ago? Yeah, do you have any of that left? Because I need it. Yes, all of it."
Canada snuck into an alleyway near the UN building, where Netherlands and he usually went to 'talk'. After a few minutes, Netherlands showed up, holding a black duffel bag. Canada looked at him funny.
"What are you going to use this for, anyways? Did Belgium get rid of your stash again?" Canada asked, handing him a few large, sealed plastic baggies.
"I have a plan. I'll let you see what happens, when it does." Netherlands answered cockily. He slipped the bags under his coat, in a way that made it impossible to tell he was carrying anything.
"Fine. I'm going inside, or else we're going to be late." Canada said, turning to leave.
"Leaving so soon? You know, they're probably not going to notice anyways."
"Even so. I'm going to try and find a seat where Russia won't sit on me…again. He's not exactly Sealand, you know." A clock started chiming somewhere. They were officially late. Not like everyone else wasn't, but Netherlands had something to do. He ran inside, to the boiler room. He threw most of the packets into the fire, and cranked the heat up. The smell of the burning plant was whisked away through to the rest of the building.
"Hey, hey, dude…I love you. No, really! I think we should get more serious, take a va...vac…vacation! Yeah, that's it! It'll be amazing! We can go to the beach, and, swim, and stuff." America was leaning against a wall, talking to a window that may or may not have contained his own reflection. The other nations weren't much better.
Russia was holding China like a stuffed animal in the corner. He was petting China's hair, and growling at anyone who came close. China made no move to stop him, because he was passed out. It was mostly Germany who was trying to 'rescue' the oriental man from Russia's affections. Italy was hanging off of Austria, crying about how Holy Roman Empire was ignoring him.
Romano, in exchange, was dressed his old maid's outfit, like what he wore when he lived with Spain, and was cooking pasta and pizza, because he and a few others were extremely hungry. Spain was fighting Denmark with an uncooked noodle, trying to stab him, but failing. The other Nordic countries were being roped into a 'scheme' of France's.
Poland, Belarus, and Turkey were trying to stalk one of Greece's cats, who was playing with Hungary's long hair. The stalkers were failing, however, since they could barely walk, let alone sneak around. Hungary was half-heartedly trying to make pancakes out of Canada's maple syrup. For some reason, they wouldn't solidify…
England was hugging Kumajiro, trying to eat it, since England was under the impression he was a gummy bear. Canada, having a higher tolerance for the stuff in the air, was setting up a camera for blackmail. Norway walked into the slightly smoky room.
"I want a copy of that. I could use a little dirt on some people…" He sauntered up to Canada, throwing his arm around the invisible nation. "Besides. I wonder how much Hungary would pay for a video of America making out with himself." Canada pointed the camera in the direction Netherland gestured, and sure enough, America was attempting to make out with the window…or his reflection. As they watched, the glass broke, leaving America with a large shard in his arms. He tried resuming his earlier 'activities', but to no avail, as the edges were sharp.
"Don't be like that, baby. You said…you loved me, now's not the time to get…shy…why don't you relax, stop making my face bleed cherries, and I can…I can…do something. What were we doing again?" America said, and fell against the wall, fast asleep.
"Everybody! It's United Nations day! Let's be UNITED! DOGPILE ON LATVIA!" Cuba yelled, running and jumping on the tiny nation. Everyone else (who wasn't unconscious, that is) joined in. Then France…was French and instigated a giant orgy. Canada and Netherlands managed to get away, but not before getting enough footage to make Hungary very, very happy when she sobered up.
…Yeah, it wasn't supposed to turn out like that. But it works. No, I was not under the influence of anything while writing. Sorry to disappoint you. Happy UN day, guys+girls! Don't forget to review!