A/N: My friend gave me this idea and I just cracked up. I hope I can do him justice by making this a good story. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of the characters.
Based on ideas donated by Master Drake, Lord of the Universe (or so he says).
Gone Fishin
Float float went the boat. Sesshoumaru wondered when he would ever see land again. The horizon revealed nothing but pallid grey ocean. He sat in the wooden boat with his hand in the water off the side. "How did I get into this mess?" he wondered aloud.
"Well it was your idea to go fishing in this strange ocean." A voice responded.
Sesshoumaru looked down at his hand and was surprised to see Inuyasha had forced his way to the surface. He looked at the hanyou with distaste. "Aren't you dead yet?" he asked the mutt.
"No," Inuyasha responded "I can hold my breath for a long time." He continued as he struggled to get out from under Sesshoumaru's iron grip.
"Well then," Sesshoumaru said nonchalantly, "I guess I'll have to hold you under for longer." He continued as he shoved his brother's head back under the water. Inuyasha struggled for a minute before grabbing Sesshoumaru's arm with both hands and attempting to throw him into the water. They fought for dominance, but in the end Inuyasha, having two hands prevailed and threw his youkai brother into the water. He smirked and jumped on the boat as Sesshoumaru came up spluttering nearby.
"You dare touch my perfection?!" he yelled at his brother as his eyes turned red.
"Yeah, you're the example of perfection. Both arms and everything." Inuyasha sarcastically responded. Sesshoumaru looked nonplussed. "I'm outta here." He said to his soggy brother. He grabbed the oars and promptly began rowing away. Sesshoumaru was not pleased at all. He summoned his whip and sliced the boat in half. Inuyasha fell out into the water and glared at his sibling.
"Now look what you did! Amputee boy." He said as he glared daggers at Sesshoumaru.
"And whose fault is that?" Sesshoumaru responded as his eyes glowed red. "This Sesshoumaru wouldn't have had to break the boat if you hadn't tried to row away." He continued as he glared back at his brother, his eyes icy.
"I'm sorry that my rowing takes us a certain direction, while yours only takes us in circles." Inuyasha responded as he treaded water.
"Worthless half-breed." Sesshoumaru said as he headed over to a piece of the wreckage. Inuyasha swam for the other half of the boat. They glared at each other once more.
"I may be a half-breed, but you only have half of your arms." Inuyasha said and snickered.
"A problem that is easily fixed. I can take anyone's arm for my own, whereas you will always have dirty blood." Sesshoumaru responded in kind. Their eyes locked and a heated battle of wills took place, none of them giving an inch. Just when Inuyasha's eyes started to bleed, a giant octopus rose up out of the water and in-between the two. Its flailing tentacles grabbed them and crushed the remains of the boat.
The octopus dragged the two siblings under water and proceeded to try and eat Inuyasha. The hanyou broke the octopus's beak with a well placed kick. The creature recoiled and released the brothers. Sesshoumaru calmly summoned his whip and slashed the sea monster to pieces. The remains floated down into the abyss, but not before Inuyasha grabbed a piece.
Sesshoumaru dissolved his whip and both brothers surfaced. "Damn," Inuyasha said. "I love octupus!" he continued as he gazed fondly at a little piece he had managed to grab. "If only I had grabbed some more." He mumbled as he studied the meat. "Oh well." He said and popped the spongy flesh into his mouth. He swallowed and smiled at his brother who was positively gawking at him. "What?" he asked the surprised youkai. "Never heard of eating octopus?" he continued as Sesshoumaru stared.
Before he could respond, hundreds of baby squid appeared and began attaching themselves to him. He started to sink as their weight prevented his legs from moving.
"What's the matter, your arm getting tired?" Inuyasha said and laughed as he stared blithely at his sinking half-brother. He soon found himself sinking as the squid located him and began attacking. Both brothers were dragged under for the second time that day.
They fought valiantly against the tiny enemies, each using their claws and teeth. The small vermin were persistent. For each one killed, several more would rise to take his place. It seemed hopeless. Although very strong, they were far outnumbered by this unforeseen menace. The squids just kept coming. No matter how many were killed, more came to take the place of the fallen. That's when it hit them; they were going to die a horrible degrading death….by squid.
A/N: Ok, first of all, I love the show Inuyasha (not the character). And more importantly, I looooove Sesshoumaru! Drake doesn't like any of them. You can kinda see our opposing points of view in this story. He wanted to have them die a horrible bloody death "because they are both losers." I, on the other hand, want them to live because I think they are too cool to die (I don't know about Inuyasha, but Sesshoumaru sure is). Seeing as we cannot agree on a single ending, I present you with both of our ideas!
Drake's ending:
The squids dragged them down farther under water. Soon the pressure became too much and both brothers imploded. But don't worry, they didn't go to waste, soon the baby squid were sucking out their bodily fluids to use as nutrients as they drifted into the cold abyss, following the shredded corpse of the octopus. Blah blah blah robot monkeys blah blah blah something elephants. Yada yada yada.
A/N: Just so you know, that was verbatim from Drake.
My ending:
Everything in his vision went red. The horrible sucking sounds the squids were making faded away. In fact, all sounds faded away. He could no longer hear his half-brother struggling, a few feet away. Everything was fading, he was receding into himself and setting the beast free.
A heartbeat.
Inuyasha's claws flexed, lengthened. The squids continued their attack, oblivious of the change in one of their victims.
Another heartbeat.
Inuyasha's fangs lengthened and jagged purple stripes appeared on his cheeks.
He opened blood red eyes and gave an angry howl, releasing all of his air, and mounted his attack. He flew like a whirlwind through the invertebrates. They fell by the dozens with the first sweep of his claws. Squid blood stained the normally clear water as Inuyasha continued his massacre.
A few feet away was Sesshoumaru. He continued fighting the numerous squid clinging to every part of his body.
Inuyasha continued massacring the squid.
Sesshoumaru pulled himself free of his attackers and summoned his whip. He easily slaughtered the remaining few thousand squid.
With no enemies remaining save his brother, Inuyasha charged him. Sesshoumaru easily dodged the inferior hanyou and lashed his back with his whip, sending him flying, like a missile, toward the surface of the water. He pumped his powerful legs and followed him.
Inuyasha sailed through the air and came down with a huge splash. The shock of hitting the freezing water knocked him out.
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Golden eyes stared down at him. His inner demon was enraged at the closeness of those orbs. He reached up a clawed hand and tried to slash the eyes from their owner's face.
Sesshoumaru easily dodged his half-brother's primitive attack. Inuyasha went under before surfacing and attempting to attack his kin several more times.
Sesshoumaru jumped out of the water and floated on his boa. "What's the matter, no youki at all?" he asked and smiled a bit, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly. His eyes held no humor; he icily stared down at the floundering hanyou.
A dim awareness stirred in Inuyasha's mind, the power of his youkai half weakened slightly. Although most of his mind was still under its control, he recognized his half-brother. His youkai half seethed with anger and wanted to attack its leering enemy. Before he could do such a thing, Sesshoumaru pointed at him and said loudly "Osuwari!"
Awareness rapidly returned to him as he sank like a stone into the dark depths of the ocean. Sesshoumaru dove into the water after him. Inuyasha had no time to ponder the strangeness of it all as Sesshoumaru opened his mouth and was somehow able to speak underwater.
"Inuyasha!" Sesshoumaru yelled "Get up!"
Inuyasha watched with horrified fascination as the features of his older brother melted into those of Kagome.
He screamed his confusion as he sank into the sinister depths of the forbidding sea…no…not the sea. He was shaken awake by Kagome, who had found him sleeping underneath the God tree.
"It's about time buster!" she said and wagged a finger at him. "You're ramen is getting cold." She continued and stood. Inuyasha rubbed his eyes and looked around him to find the familiar sites of the forest. It had all been a dream…no a nightmare, a horrible nightmare.
"Kagome!" he gasped. "I've just had the most terrible nightmare ever!" he continued as he tried to calm down from the horror it had incited within him.
"What happened?" she asked and looked slightly concerned.
He proceeded to explain every horrifying detail.
When he was finished Kagome burst out laughing.
"What?" he asked and glared at her. "What's so funny?" he said and continued glaring.
"Oh, nothing." She said and tried to hold back her laughter, it was making her tear up she was laughing so hard. "I just can't imagine this scenario. I mean, you and Sesshoumaru in a small boat in the middle of the ocean! Who thought this up? It's hilarious!" she continued and began walking away.
Inuyasha gaped at her receding form.
"Geez, some imagination you have." She said and continued walking back toward their happy group, guffawing the whole way.
The End
A/N: Well, that's it folks! It didn't turn out as funny as I'd hoped, but I hope you enjoyed reading it anyway.
Don't worry, I'm working on my other story….I just have a bit of writer's block, so I thought I'd do something else for a little while to get over it. I have chapter 6 partially written, and I hope to have it up by this weekend.