Disclosure: Veena Sud's characters. Love them. I think the episode "Six Minutes" was some of the best scenes ever portrayed on TV. This fic follows the end of that episode. I did not mean for it to become so fluffy, but I couldn't help myself. We could use some fluff after that episode! Also, I'm not sure but this might be one of the longest fics I've ever written..and all in one sitting. I love feedback...so ya know...leave some if you enjoy my fluffy story:D
Morning Will Come
Everyone stood up and slowly filed out of the room. Seward's body was still being removed by the guards. Sarah Linden did not move from her chair. She tried to still her breath to force back the tears that threatened to flow. She could not take her eyes off of his lifeless body. "Detective," one of the guards waited for her to stand and follow the rest of the group. She swallowed, her parched lips trembling, and gathered enough strength to stand and exit.
The long hall led to a lobby where everyone massed at a window to retrieve their personal belongings. She was numb, unable to focus on any of the sounds or people's faces around her so she didn't see Holder seated on a bench against the wall. Her jaw tightened into it's familiar position of despair. Holder called out to her as he approached from across the room. She didn't see him until he was stopped right in front of her path. She looked up startled, like an injured animal. He half expected her to fight him as he pulled her into a tight embrace. He knew she did not like to be touched. Instead, her body went limp and she sunk her face into his chest. He held her as she leaned into him, her body trembled. She still did not cry.
After awhile she looked up at him, trying to speak words. Her eyes pleaded with him to understand what had just happened. He thought she might be sick if she tried any longer to speak. "Just come on. Let's go." He grabbed her hand to lead her out of the prison into the dark night. With each step she distanced herself from the grief that threatened to overtake her. She grieved for Seward, she grieved for injustice, she grieved for her failure and mistakes.
By the time they got to the parking lot all emotion was taken over by the sudden realization that they had driven separately. For a moment, Sarah plotted out the rest of her evening alone. She would make the long drive home, go straight to bed, and shut out the world for as long as possible. He could almost read her thoughts. He knew she wanted to run again. She could see him making a goofy smirk at her by the harsh light overhead.
"Are you still drunk Holder? Do I need to drive you?" she was tired and rung out, but she needed to make sure he was safe.
"Well, while I am flattered that you just can't get enough of this and are still willing to give this fine man a ride...NO, I'm not drunk." His joking turned serious. "Not anymore."
That was the truth.
He had been ready to wallow in misery over the death of Bullet. It hurt like hell and to make things worse he had embarrassed himself by trying to kiss his partner in the midst of it. The way he saw it, there was very little keeping him from falling down the hole of addiction. But, this afternoon when he helped Adrian with his hair in the bathroom he quickly remembered the price he paid with his nephew. He knew he cared too much to go down that road again. It sobered him up real quick. He was slowly realizing that he wasn't that recently-clean addict anymore. He could think of a lot of things he wanted more than drugs. One was standing in front of him.
She studied him, making sure he really wasn't inebriated any longer. When she was satisfied that he was okay she started to open her car.
"Okay, I'll see you later Holder. Thanks for your help."
"Wait!" He grabbed onto the door to stop her from leaving. "You need to eat."
She shook her head to give a resounding 'hell no. I could not possibly eat right now.'
"I know you don't WANT to eat, but you need to. Come on Linden...you know you want some fat ol' pancakes and fluffy eggs from that diner down the road."
She gave him the look. "Holder..." She was about to do her usual override and veto any plans he was trying to make for her.
He swung her car door open and outstretched his arm offering to let her leave. "Alright, go on. Go ahead and run." he taunted.
His words from earlier resounded in her head. She rolled her eyes at him. "Fine." Grinning, he grabbed the keys from her hand and climbed into the driver side of her car. "What are you doing?" she asked annoyed. "It's just down the road. We can take one car."
"Well, I'm driving then. Get out." she grabbed the keys back.
They did not speak on the way to the diner. It was only a 5 minute drive. Both their thoughts were so loud they didn't notice that neither had spoken. As they pulled up she was glad it was not very crowded. She really needed quiet right now. He saw how tired her face was as they walked silently into the brightly lit diner. She plopped into a booth and just stared at the plastic menu that the waitress set in front of her. He sat across from her, quickly asking the waitress for two waters. He quietly studied his partner.
Stephen didn't want to admit it, but he really wasn't hungry either. He insisted on eating because he knew first of all that the last hot meal she had was probably the take out he brought her a few days ago. And second, he knew if he let her go into the dark night by herself it would be awhile until he saw her again. He ordered pancakes. Sarah was just staring at the menu and didn't hear when the waitress asked what she wanted.
"Sarah?" he tried to get through.
She looked up surprised, but seemed to know that she needed to order.
"Eggs. Scrambled." she ordered succinctly.
"Anything else hun?" the waitress politely questioned.
"No thank you." Linden almost whispered, having regressed back into the numbing state as she remembered how Seward had struggled to breathe.
Stephen grew concerned as he noticed her face become more panicked. Her breathing had increased into quick shallow breaths and her eyes didn't really seem to focus on anything. He didn't know what to do other than grab her hand. It worked. Her eyes shot straight to his. He saw pain and fear there as she struggled not to cry. He just held her hand, trying to give her the strength she needed not to crumble. They stayed like this...eyes locked and his hand firmly on hers until the food came.
When they started to eat, a group of teenagers came in. The once quiet diner was now replaced with a steady noise of laughter and yelling. As the group passed their table Holder's face darkened with a look of recognition. Sarah noticed and turned to see what he was looking at. One of the kids with short hair resembled Bullet. She could see pain in his eyes and reached out to grab his hand. She shook her head as though to tell him 'Don't go there.' He answered back with a pained smile. And she gave him one in return.
They finished the meal in silence.
They slowly made their way back to the car. He could tell the day was really taking a toll on her at this point as she yawned and dragged her feet unsteadily. He slowed up his pace until she noticed he wasn't right next to her anymore. "Are you coming?" she asked.
He was thinking as he spoke "Hey, why don't we just take one car back. I can drop you off at your place."
"Why? What about your car?"
"It's been a long day. And you ain't as awake as you think you are. I can get my wheels later."
She stood thinking for a moment; her eyes heavy. The idea of having to drive the long ride back really did not sound feasible. She answered by throwing her keys at him and settling into the passenger side of her own car.
They drove on in silence. Every so often Holder would glance over at his partner, expecting sleep to finally win out over her. Linden desperately wanted to just shut her eyes and sleep. Every time she tried, she just saw Seward falling. Heard his guttural breathing. And would open her eyes to the harsh lights on the highway. She started to get a headache.
They were on the ferry now, the car turned off. A small light shown in through the window eerily. It had been thirty minutes of silence so when she started to speak he drew in a quick breath out of surprise.
"His neck didn't break." she said it with her usual coolness. He looked over at her with a shocked expression. Why was she waiting until now to tell him? She continued to describe Seward's death. "When he dropped he just kept moving. He gasped and struggled. He felt it." Holder looked on at her as she stared straight ahead. He didn't know what to say.
All of a sudden she turned toward him, tears filling her eyes. "I told him he wouldn't feel it, but he did." she whispered, shaking her head in disbelief.
He shook his head slowly, not taking his eyes off hers. He tried to show her it wasn't her fault. "I put him there." Her face was overcome with horror and she was about to shatter. He needed her pain to stop tormenting her.
Suddenly he grabbed her face with both hands and kissed her hard. She inhaled as he took her by surprise, melting all anguish from her face. She hungrily kissed him back, running her hands behind his head to bring him closer. He pulled her as close as he could despite the console of the car. They each kissed one another more desperately as the desire they had was undeniable.
The loud horn of the ferry interrupted them as it arrived at the dock. They both pulled away slightly, but she still had her hands around his neck. Huskily she said "I thought you weren't going to do that."
His face burned with embarrassed confusion. "Shit...yeah...I'm sorry..."
She cut him off "I'm only kidding."
She gave him another quick gentle kiss to reassure him it was okay. She rested her forehead against his. He half smiled, still a little bewildered.
The moment was broken. She sighed and with resignation told him "you should probably take me home now." He swallowed hard and turned the car back on to exit the ferry.
They both fell silent again for the rest of the trip. Only this time their thoughts were replaced with a nervous energy. 'Like two teenagers on a first date," Sarah thought to herself.
He parked and jumped out of the car to follow her to the door. She didn't look back at him, but climbed the stairs with her tired legs. When she reached the top she turned to face him but he stopped at the bottom of the stairs. He wasn't sure what he should be doing right now after the moment on the ferry. "So, uh...I guess I'll take your car back to my place tonight and then tomorrow we can go pick..." She cut him off, "Please don't leave me." Her eyes pleaded with his and he nodded.
She turned the key and opened the door to the dark old house, waiting for him to come. He took one last look at her and then followed up the stairs to join her inside. She threw her keys on the table and brushed by him nonchalantly. Feeling exhausted she headed upstairs. He started pulling his hoody over his head, ready to make his home on the couch when he heard her faintly ask "coming?"
He pulled the hoody back down and walked over where he could see her at the top of the staircase. "Yo, Linden...I don't know if we should..." he trailed off as she gave a tired laugh.
"That's not really what I had in mind. Do you think you could just..." She grew embarrassed and wanted to backpedal. Reading her mind, he bounded up the stairs.
"Yep, you got it! Got the best human pillow you ever saw, right here." He stopped on the stair below her, bringing them face to face. She smiled gratefully at him.
"So are you gonna try and kiss me again?" She playfully crooked her eyebrow at him.
"Hell NO Sarah. We done with that!" he grinned.
"Good, cause we should really be more professional." she dryly joked as she took him by the hand and led him to her bedroom. He knew she just wanted to sleep, but he couldn't help but watch her with excitement.
She let go of his hand to turn on the bedside lamp. He moved toward the bed, pulling off his outer layers until he was just wearing his wife beater. She caught herself staring and turned to move toward the bathroom. She quickly freshened up and changed into a tank top and pajama bottoms. She walked back in the room to find Holder had climbed under the covers already, feigning sleep.
"I know your awake." she ruined his game. He just pretended to snore in response. She smiled, climbing in next to him. They didn't touch. She cut the light out stared up at the ceiling. He was lying on his side with his back to her.
They listened to each other breathe quietly. As he was starting to drift off he heard her stifle a cry into the pillow. He turned on his other side and put an arm across her. She cried harder. "It's going to be okay. Remember?" He pointed out her own words to him the night before. He pulled her to him until she nestled her face into his chest and tried to stop sobbing. "Shhhh, Shhh," he cooed to her. Finally her breathing settled down into slow deep breaths. She clung on to him until sleep finally overtook her. He still lie awake awhile longer, just holding her and watching her sleep. He knew morning would come and it would eventually all be okay.