How do I start this? I'm a grown woman and starting a new journal. My therapist says it'll do me good. I'll try anything to help me.
My name is Rory Huntzberger. I'm 26 years old, pregnant, and a widow. That's right, pregnant and a widow. How am I supposed to handle this? .. I guess I should start in the beginning.
The day I graduated Yale I turned down Logan's proposal. I wasn't sure what I wanted then, but I figured it out soon enough. Mom and Luke got married. Jess and I had made up our differences and became friends. Good friends, and that's all. Logan and I started talking again while I was on the Obama campaign. I loved him, and he loved me. I knew this would work out eventually.
After my run with the campaign, I went home to Stars Hollow. I was sitting at a table in Luke's when I heard the door open. All of a sudden there was gasps. Last time I heard those kind of gasps was when Jess came back for Luke's wedding, but it couldn't be Jess now. Jess was a regular in town now, helping out Luke with the diner. Jess didn't get gasps anymore. I turned around to see, you guessed it, Logan.
A million things ran through my mind, 'what was he doing here?,' 'has he lost his mind?,' 'am I actually saying this out loud?"
Jess poked his head out from the kitchen and yelled at me. "Yes, you are."
"Oops.." is all I could mumble.
I turned to Logan and he smiled at me. God that smile made me melt. I nodded at him and slowly started walking out the door. He followed. There was something wrong, I could tell it. He looked like he hadn't slept in day. His hair a mess, his eyes sunken in. There wasn't the same magic in his eyes that there was. Soon we ended up at the bridge.
I slowly sat down and watched him as he stood.
"Are ya gonna sit down or am I gonna have to break my neck looking up at ya?" I said playfully. I do that now, I get nervous and crack a joke. No more shy Rory.
"How are ya, Ace?" He said as he sat down beside me.
"I'm good, saved some money up, and decided to take a small break from work.. how are you?
"Uhm.." he started to shift his body weight, "I have to tell you something.. but I don't know how to. No one else knows, and I needed to tell someone.. you. I love you, you know that right?" He looked away from me, but I could still see the tears.
"What is wrong, are you okay?!" I said in an almost screech.
"Ace, calm down..."
"No, tell me now!"
"I have .. cancer." He started to get up.
"No, you're not leaving, sit back down and talk to me.. now." I said as I grabbed his pant leg.
I was speechless. A Gilmore, speechless. What was wrong with this picture? He continued with his story, how and when he found out, why he hasn't told anyone, why I was the one he told.
"Rory, I love you, and always have. I beg of you, marry me before I go. The only thing I want is to marry the one I love, you." He pulled out a ring box and opened it up for me to see. He was shaking.
"Yes, Logan.. yes" He put the ring on my finger and I cried. Happy tears and sad tears.
I wanted it for so long.. all the nights I dreamt of him coming back, professing his love for me.. and now here he is, doing just that. One thing is different though. He has cancer. CANCER. What was I gonna do?