Trigger warning: This story includes suicide. If you find it triggering, please don't read it.

A/N: This story takes place a few hours after episode 2x07 and obviously before episode 2x08. It is a Sharon/Emma fic. If this ship is not sailing for you, it's okay as long as you are not mean about it. I hope you enjoy this story and I would love to read your feedback.

I would like to thank the lovely authorjazmyne for proof reading this story. She is awesome as always.

Emma

Emma's eyes inspected the way Sharon's lips wrapped around the rim of the mug; there was something sensual about it, even though Emma knew very well that Sharon had no intention of looking this way. She tried to hold herself back, but her body disobeyed her brain, and before she realized it, her hand was laying on Sharon's hip. She expected the other woman to flinch and move backwards, even though in the confines of Emma's tiny kitchen, she didn't really have anywhere she could run to. She put down her mug on the counter and looked at Emma with a gaze that the younger woman found hard to decipher. It seemed like a mix of curiosity and surprise, maybe even lust.

Emma took it as an approval and she gently moved forward, making the Captain go backwards, until her lower back touched the counter behind her. Emma slid her arm around Sharon's waist and closed the small gap between their bodies, feeling Sharon's chest touching hers through the stretchy fabric of her dress. Sharon looked into her eyes wordlessly, and Emma inwardly cursed the other woman for always being so serene. She wished the Captain would give her a clearer reaction, would express some feeling that would help her understand how to proceed. It was almost as if she was in this alone. She lowered her gaze and looked at the other woman's lips; they looked soft and rosy and she wanted to taste them so badly that her stomach twitched. It had been a while since she felt that flutter deep in her stomach. Her gaze shifted upwards to meet the Captain's eyes.

"Can I…" Her voice was low and hesitant, and the Captain slowly nodded her head. Emma's arm tightened around the Captain's waist, pressing her against her body and at last, the other woman reacted, sliding her arm up Emma's back until her palm came to a rest on the nape of her neck, the tips of her fingers caressing it gently. Emma felt goose bumps spreading across her skin and her breath becoming heavy as she brought her lips down to Sharon's. Suddenly, she could no longer think of her as the Captain, but it didn't disturb her, because Sharon spread her lips, giving her access to her mouth.

Sharon

Emma's free arm crept up Sharon's body until it reached her face, cupping it. Her thumb moved back and forth on Sharon's cheek as the tips of her fingers rested just below her ear, sending sensual pulses down Sharon's body that reached all the way down to her core. She let Emma's tongue wander into her mouth and play catch with her own. She felt the blood rushing through her veins and she tightened her grip of Emma's waist to steady herself. Emma pulled away from her with a shaky breath and gazed into her eyes. Her hand felt so warm on her cheek that Sharon feared it might leave a burn on her face.

"I want you," Emma's voice was deep and her tone was desperate, as if she was scared to be let down.

"The bedroom?" Sharon offered and hoped that Emma would lead the way, since it was the first time she's ever been to the younger woman's apartment.

"Sounds great," Emma said breathlessly as her hand travelled down from Sharon's face to the collar of her shirt, pulling her towards her as she shuffled through the hall that led to her bedroom.

Emma's bedroom was messy, which was not unusual. Sharon stumbled over a shoebox, falling onto the queen bed, losing one of her shoes in the process. She kicked off her other shoe as her hands groped in the darkness in search for Emma's body.

Emma
She wasn't quite sure what they hit that made them fall, but her knees hit the floor. For some odd reason, she didn't feel any pain. Maybe it was the excitement that was quickly building up inside her and about to erupt at any given moment. This kind of passion tended to blind her. She was sure that she would feel the blow to her knees later, but now her sole focus was on Sharon, whose foot rubbed against her side. Her fingers came around Sharon's ankle and her lips started kissing their way up the older woman's shin and to her knee. Sharon's skin was soft and she let her mouth linger for a moment at a spot right under Sharon's knee that seemed to elicit an excited response from the other woman. Supporting her body with her arm, she pushed herself off the floor and slid her body on top of Sharon's. Her fingers unbuttoned Sharon's blouse as her lips sucked on the skin at the base of her neck. She felt Sharon's arms landing softly against her hips, one of the hands bunching the fabric of her dress up and pulling it upwards.

"Oh, wait. It has a zipper in the back," Emma spoke against Sharon's skin, the vibration of her lips sending a pleasant wave down Sharon's body.

Sharon's fingers climbed up Emma's back to unzip her dress; the touch of Sharon's hand against the skin of her upper back felt so comforting to Emma. Sharon slid her hand down Emma's back and playfully dug her nails into her skin and Emma gently bit the spot she was currently kissing. Sharon let out a soft moan that echoed in Emma's ears for a long moment. She pushed herself off Sharon's body and the older woman groaned at the loss of contact. Offering her a comforting smile, Emma peeled her dress off her body, tossing it backwards and hearing it landing on the floor with a soft thud.

Sharon rose from the bed and stood on her knees. Her eyes drifted down Emma's body, taking in the curve of her hips and the way her olive skin shone in the dim light of Emma's bedside lamp. Her arms came around the younger woman's body, pulling her closer to hers and relishing in her warmth. Her lips found their way to Emma's ear and nibbled on it, tongue curving around it and teeth grazing the earlobe. Emma shuddered under her touch as Sharon's mouth slowly trailed down the side of her neck and her lips peppered kisses along the slope of her shoulder, drawing an aroused whimper from the depths of Emma's throat. Her teeth locked around the strap of Emma's bra and slid it off her shoulder, her tongue gliding down her skin, deliberately driving the younger woman insane.

Emma's fingers worked efficiently to unzip Sharon's skirt and unbutton her last two buttons. Her heart fluttered in anticipation as they both stood on their knees wearing nothing but their underwear. She let her eyes wander down Sharon's body, longing to touch the full breasts and to kiss her way down the flat stomach. She never thought a woman Sharon's age could be so beautiful, so sexy. She never seemed that attractive at work, but in her expensive underwear – delicate navy blue pieces that perfectly embraced her form – she saw a different person than the uptight police Captain Sharon usually was. With a barely-audible sigh, Emma leaned forward and captured Sharon's lips in a kiss and her fingers quickly reached for the clasp of the older woman's bra and unhooked it.

Sharon

As her bra fell on the bed between them, Sharon wrapped her arms around Emma's body and lingered in the embrace for a moment, inhaling the sweet yet gentle scent of Emma's rich hair. Her fingers trailed up Emma's neck and combed through her dark and smooth locks. Emma tilted her head back and let out a desperate moan. She closed her eyes, for just a second and when she opened them, Sharon could see the hungry look in them. She offered her a playful smile as she proceeded to remove Emma's bra, cupping her breast in her palm, her thumb gliding over the dark nipple. Emma leaned forward, gently laying her down on the bed as she hooked her fingers in Sharon's panties and pulled them down in a swift motion. Once again, she stopped to appreciate her body; her gaze descending from Sharon's peaked nipples, over her freckled stomach and down to the smooth mound and even further down, to the thin yet womanly thighs.

"Are you okay?" Sharon asked. Emma seemed to be a little distracted or perhaps overly concentrated.

"Yes, it's just that… you look really good." Sharon enjoyed the sight of blush spreading across Emma's face, revealing how unnatural she felt complimenting someone else, which she rarely ever did, as far as Sharon knew.

"Come here," Sharon's voice was velvety and engulfing. She cupped Emma's face, looking deep into her eyes. She could see that Emma was unsure of herself and the harder that she was trying to mask her feelings, the more they seeped through her dark eyes. She didn't know much about Emma, but she was surprised to discover a different side of the brash and somewhat crude young woman. She had called Emma earlier that evening, inquiring if they could schedule a working dinner later that week to find a way that they could work together. She was surprised when the young DDA invited her over for a home cooked dinner. How they ended up making out was beyond her, but she was already upset by Jack's cowardly departure and Emma seemed to need her company and kept asking her to stay.

She caressed Emma's cheek with her thumb and was about to press her lips against hers when Emma pulled back a little bit.

"It's my first time," she confessed, the emotion in her voice undecipherable. "With a woman, I mean." Sharon gave her an understanding smile and tucked a dark lock of hair behind Emma's ear. "Have you… have you ever been with a woman?"

"No," Sharon admitted. Her lack of sexual experience with women did not scare her, but it seemed to overwhelm Emma.

"Do you know how to do this?" Emma suddenly seemed like a frightened little child and Sharon wondered if Emma was as scared of vaginas as she was by dead bodies.

"In theory, I do," Sharon replied, an amused expression spreading across her face. She arched her back and closed the gap between their bodies, feeling Emma's nipples rubbing against hers. She captured Emma's bottom lip between hers, sensually sucking it into the warmth of her mouth. Her arms tightened around Emma's middle and she rolled them over, her mouth still on hers. Emma moaned into the kiss, her hands planted firmly against Sharon's hips and her fingers dug into her skin.

Sharon's fingers travelled down Emma's body, settling at her breast as she deepened their kiss, feeling the tension building up inside her body. Emma's nipple pebbled under her fingers and it seemed like every touch made it grow stiffer. Releasing Emma's lips, Sharon kissed her way down the valley between the younger woman's breasts. Her lips slowly climbed up and circled Emma's nipple as her fingers kept working on the other one. Emma moaned and arched her back as Sharon's tongue licked and sucked and slightly bit her nipple. Her fingers burrowed into Sharon's thick mane and gently tugged on them, not enough to cause pain, but enough to make Sharon groan around her nipple.
Slowly, Sharon's fingers left Emma's breast and started making their way downwards, half caressing-half tickling Emma's stomach until they reached the hem of Emma's simple cotton panties. She slid her hand under the hem and rested it against the younger woman's skin for a while. Her lips also left Emma's round breast and she made her way down her body, stopping occasionally in order to suck or playfully bite the skin of Emma's stomach. She could feel the tension building in Emma's body as her mouth moved closer to the sensitive spot between her legs. She let out a long hum against Emma's skin and smiled to herself as she felt the younger woman shuddering in excitement.

Emma

She felt Sharon's hand sliding further down her panties and her breath hitched. It had been a while since anyone touched her this way, or since she touched herself, as a matter of fact. She almost forgot what it was like to have someone else touching her, but Sharon was taking her time, moving slowly and letting her get used to the feeling. She found out, for the first time in her life, that she was enjoying slow sex and the way that she could feel her orgasm building inside her, even though Sharon did not touch between her legs yet. For someone who claimed this was her first time with a woman, the older woman surely knew what she was doing.

Sharon's hand moved to the side of Emma's hip, stretching the band of Emma's panties sideways. Her mouth reached the hem and she peppered soft and wet kisses around it, stopping in between kisses to suck on the tight skin she found there. Emma couldn't control the loud 'Oh!' that escaped her lips, followed by an even louder moan. Sharon lifted her head slightly from Emma's body and pulled the panties down, throwing them behind her. She brought her head down again, her mouth still lingering on Emma's lower stomach before continuing its journey downwards. She licked and sucked on the smooth mound and let her arm slip between Emma's thighs, gently pivoting them to the side, exposing Emma's core. She stopped and looked at it for a moment. She could smell Emma's arousal and it made her mouth water. Raising her eyes to look at the younger woman, she could see the anticipation in her brown eyes and she smiled at her reassuringly. Bringing her mouth to kiss the tip on Emma's soft mound, she kept her gaze focused on the other woman, registering her reactions and responding accordingly. Her tongue ghosted over Emma's clit and the younger woman whimpered a little and arched her back. She repeated it, this time applying more pressure to the bundle of nerves pulsing under her tongue. She hummed against it, finally taking the nub into her mouth, giving it the attention it needed. Emma whimpered again between tightly closed lips, and Sharon let her clit go, moving her tongue in between Emma's folds. Her tongue was met by the warmth of Emma's juices and she was surprised to discover that it didn't taste half as bad as she thought it would. She let her tongue roam between Emma's legs, exploring her depths and occasionally moving to kiss her inner thighs. She did not keep a steady rhythm and soon enough she could hear Emma's deep and frequent moans. She slid one finger into the younger woman's canal and curved it slightly, pressing it against the sensitive spot at Emma's upper wall. Emma let out a wild, desperate cry that seemed to have escaped from the depths of her throat, the sound urging Sharon to press her finger harder into the spot. She could smell the perspiration on Emma's skin and for reasons that were beyond her understanding, she found it highly arousing.

"Oh, my God!" Emma's body went limp and she panted heavily. Sharon peppered soothing (or maybe arousing, she wasn't sure) kisses all around Emma's warm center before she started kissing her way back up the other woman's body. Emma's arms came around her, pulling her closer and panting into the crook of her neck. Sharon seemed happy that she was able to please her, which made Emma wonder what she tasted like. She captured Sharon's lips in a passionate kiss. Their tongues danced around each other and their fluids mingled inside their mouths, allowing Emma to taste herself on Sharon's lips and tongue. "I guess it's my turn now," she said when their lips separated.

"That would be greatly appreciated," Sharon admitted and felt the pressure of Emma's palms pushing against her hips until she was on her back and Emma was on top of her.

Sharon

Emma buried her face in the other woman's shoulder and Sharon could feel her rapid breath against her skin. It seemed to her like Emma was trying to decide how to proceed and it would have alarmed Sharon had she not been so aroused. But the thoughts of her impending orgasm, or at least the one she hoped to achieve were clouding her judgment. Emma shuddered against her body once and then Sharon heard a desperate wail coming out of the young DDA's mouth. Gently wrapping her arms around Emma's bare shoulders, Sharon sat up.

"Emma?" she asked, confused. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry, Sharon…" Emma sobbed, her arms coming around Sharon's waist. "I don't think… uh, I don't think I can… do it." Her tears were falling from her face on Sharon's shoulder.

"Did I do anything wrong?" Sharon wondered. Her arousal was replaced by a feeling that she was not able to identify.

"It… It's not you." Emma pulled away from her and brought her knees to her chest while Sharon grabbed the bedspread and wrapped it around her body. "It's just that… when you close your eyes, it's much easier to pretend that you're having sex with someone else." Sharon's eyes widened in surprise and she was struggling with herself in order to not feel offended. "I know it sounds awful."

"Maybe I should leave." Sharon was about to get off the bed and look for her clothes but Emma caught her arm.

"Don't leave," Emma begged. "At least let me explain first."

"Look, Emma, you don't have to explain anything to me. I'm not gonna force you to do anything you don't want to do, so just spare us both the tears. We're adults, let's act accordingly." Sharon tried to mask her hurt pride with a nonchalant tone.

"Sharon, please," Emma wiped her tears. "Just listen to me." Sharon sighed and leaned against the headboard. "I was engaged, until not long ago. My fiancé, Dave, was everything I ever wanted. We lived here, in this apartment and we were happy." Emma's voice faltered as more tears gathered in her eyes. "Six months ago, I came home from work. I had a particularly good day and I wanted to tell him about it. All the lights were on, but I couldn't find him, so I figured he must have forgotten to turn them off." Sharon listened, trying to understand where the story was leading and why she should care about it to begin with. "I found him an hour later, lying on the bathroom floor in a pool of blood and a gun in his hand. He blew his brain out and there was blood everywhere… And the worst of it is that I don't know why he did it; we were happy, everything was good." Emma resumed her crying.

Sharon wanted to leave but knew that she couldn't leave Emma alone in such a fragile state. She didn't have any feelings for Emma and their relationship has been professional up until today. She hadn't expected Emma to kiss her or to have sex with her when she came over.

"This, you and me… It's the first time I've been with anyone since Dave died. When you touched me, I closed my eyes and… I knew it was you, but I imagined it was him. I know that it's wrong and unfair and I hope you understand that I didn't mean to offend you." She looked like a lost child.

"I'm sorry about your fiancé," was all that Sharon could say. She felt cheated and betrayed, not by one, but by two people. As if it wasn't enough that Jack left so abruptly, Emma had managed to get her into a delicate situation she was unable to get out of.

"I'm not stupid, you know." Emma said, "I know that I hurt you, and I know that your day has been emotional as well. When you called this evening, you sounded sad and I was upset as well, so I invited you over. I thought we could both use the company." Sharon let out a long, shaky breath. "And I didn't want you to leave, so I kissed you." Sharon closed her eyes and swallowed the lump in her throat. "Say something, please."

"I don't know what to say, Emma," Sharon replied. "I understand that you did not intend to lead me on, but this situation… it hurts. It hurts because you used me."

"I'm sorry," Emma's voice was choked.

"I don't go around having sex with just anyone. In fact, I could count on one hand the number of people I slept with. And for me, even meaningless sex is emotional. I thought you wanted to sleep with me because you were attracted to me. If you didn't want me to leave, you should have said so."

"I can't even begin to…"

"Stop apologizing, please. It's not going to help any of us." Sharon got off the bed and located her underwear on the floor. She put them on and left the room.

Emma crawled under her blanket and buried her face in the softness of her pillow, sobbing into it. She knew that she deserved to be alone and that it was wrong and stupid of her to make Sharon think that she wanted to sleep with her.

The heaviness of sleep began covering her as she felt someone's arms being wrapped around her waist, pulling her towards them. She turned to face the person, hoping that she was dreaming; if it was a dream, the person could be Dave.

"I thought you left," she said, surprised to find out that she was not dreaming and Sharon was in bed with her, wearing her luxurious underwear and nothing more.

"I went to call Rusty and make sure he was alright. I told him that I caught a murder and I won't be home tonight," Sharon explained.

"But why?" Emma wondered.

"Because I know a thing or two about loneliness and I won't leave you alone tonight," Sharon explained. She didn't feel the need to tell her that she was genuinely scared that if she left, Emma's guilt would take over what was left of her common sense and she would harm herself. Emma wrapped her arms around her and rested her head against Sharon's chest.

"Thank you," she mumbled, glad to feel Sharon's warmth against her body. Sharon reached for the bedside lamp. "Don't turn off the light, please."

"How are we going to sleep then?"

"I sleep with the lights on. I'm scared of the dark." It suddenly occurred to Sharon that Emma might have had a completely different personality before Dave died.

"Emma, look at me for a second," she said softly. Emma raised her head and looked into Sharon's green eyes. There was a depth in them that she found confusing and alluring at the same time. "I didn't know Dave, but I am sure that he wouldn't have wanted you to be scared of the dark. That's why he left the lights on for you that day, right?"

"How did you know?" Emma asked.

"I just figured it had something to do with that," Sharon replied. "And probably with your fear of dead bodies too." Emma nodded slowly.

"I hate the morgue," she sighed. Sharon turned off the light, pulling Emma close to her body.

"Dead people can't hurt you, Emma. Living people do."

THE END