Illya Kuryakin walked through Red Square practicing being invisible in a such a busy, public place.
He was alone as always, and it was for a good reason. As an agent of GRU one never knew who'd you be asked to spy upon, or turn in for that matter. It could be a friend or foe; military intelligence didn't care. Kuryakin shouldn't have cared, but he did. For that reason he felt that he was a failure as an agent, but still he wasn't ready to throw in the towel by any means. If he did, he was as good as dead. He could never show a sign of weakness or caring.
He'd already dodged a bullet when he'd been ordered to kill someone with whom he'd gone through training. Nicholaí Ivanovich Alexandrov was deemed to be a potential traitor by the Directorate, as they thought he was going to defect. *
Illya discovered that Alexandrov had a wife and newborn son, which the Kremlin could have used as hostages to keep the man from turning traitor but no, they wanted him eliminated.
Kuryakin came up with a scheme to help Nicholaí and his family escape to Finland, but it ended up in getting those he sought to protect... killed. It was the fault of KGB who were after Nicholaí as well; the secret police capturing a so called traitor would have been a blemish on the record of GRU and a feather in the cap of KGB. *
There was always a swinging of the pendulum when it came to who was in power at the moment, at times it was GRU and others it was KGB.
The KGB intervening saved Illya from being revealed as duplicitous. Alexandrov, his wife and child were killed by them, but Illya in turn eliminated the agents. It was only Kuryakin's word as to what happened and that kept him safe.
As he skulked through Red Square lost among the crowds, Illya suddenly felt very disconnected, and perhaps lonely. It wasn't often that happened but today it had. Perhaps it was the many couples and families that were together, enjoying each other's company that triggered these feelings.
It was then he saw her, a face from his past, a beautiful petite blonde named Sofiya Pavlovska. Dressed in a richly embroidered green coat with a fur lined hood, she'd seen him and was trying to get his attention.
She was a former classmate and lover from his days at university. Sofiya had the makings of a prima ballerina but when their love affair was discovered, she was sent away to another school. **
She came from a well connected family, and though no one knew Kuryakin was in training to be an agent for military intelligence, he was still a nobody. He grew up in an orphanage and had no family. The fact that he was the grandson of Count Alexander Sergeivich Kuryakin and by rights of inheritance, a Count himself, that meant nothing.
Nobility was despised in the Soviet Union, and anyone admitting to be of that stock would be out of his mind to say so. It could mean a trip to the gulag or worse…
Illya had been lectured a long time ago by his father to keep his mouth shut about their heritage. Even if nobile rank still had its privileges, the last member of the Kuryakin line had no land or money. He truly was nobody.
Though the Soviet Union was supposed to be a socialist state with everyone being equal, Illya knew that wasn't true. Some were more equal than others.
To Sofiya's family he was merely dirt beneath their feet. Nor to her though, he was sure she loved him and he loved her as well. Yet again, it was something that was not meant to be.
And now years later Sofiya Pavlovska was that famous ballerina, touring with the Bolshoi and here Illya was finally that spy… He had his Master's and Doctorate degrees in Quantum Mechanics for all the good it did him. He made no great discoveries in his field, and wasn't even keeping up with it.
Espionage was his world now.
"Illya?" The woman called out, waving to him."Illya it is me, Sofiya!"
"So much for being invisible," he thought to himself before he before he acknowledged her, but then he didn't. He kept walking, ignoring her as she continued to call to him.
He saw a man go to her and they wrapped their arms around each other in an embrace,,,another Illya.
Kuryakin deliberately pushed himself into the crowd, wishing he were that man.
If he went to her, reacted the way he wanted to and that was to wrap his arms around her too and kiss her...he'd regret it.
In his mind he asked 'let it be me?' But no that was a wish that would never come true...
'They' were watching him, always watching him from somewhere. In a very unfair way it felt as though Sofiya was being dangled in front of him. Fate was tempting him and if he reached out to her, his hand would be slapped away.
Even though Illya needed a friend right now, he was certain it could never be, not with her.
Who knew what his master would do to her if he and Sofiya were seen together?
The Kremlin liked their agents to be unencumbered, and those who had families or friends saw them held hostage. It was the price some paid to serve the CCCP.
If you failed enough times, or tried to escape the hostages would pay the price, then you would suffer a horrible death in the blast furnaces of Serpukhov.
Located at the confluence of the Oka and the Nara Rivers, it was a 99 kilometer south from Moskva during which the prisoner was bound and gagged into silence while contemplating their death. It was only when they were being pushed into the furnace inside a box that their gags were removed, so others could hear their screams...
No, his lot in life was to be alone. He would never end up in Serpukhov; this he vowed.
"I live to serve the Soviet people," Kuryakin mumbled to himself despite feeling like he'd give anything for just a little place he could call his own, and someone he could call friend.
Illya tightened his jaw as he became invisible again, putting some distance between himself and Sofiya and the other Illya.
Looking at his wristwatch, he hurried along as he could not be late for a meeting at the office of Directorate. No doubt they had an assignment for him.
Better to be a bit early than late; he focused on that and erased Sofiya Pavlovska from his mind.
* ref "The Test"
** ref "Someday"