I really hit a chord when I mentioned my fondness for the sarcasm of Anthony Bourdain and have been encouraged to combine the two shows ... ROFL... I'll entertain tag-team writing this if anyone is interested, as I know there are authors out there who adore the sarcastic wit of the chef-turned-travel show host as well. :) Alert: Rating is for language and drinking like fishes. Disclaimer: I own nothing and this is all for fun and laughs. Thanks for understanding!
Johnathan Hillstrand looked at his brother as they sat in a tiny, smoky bar in Tribeca in Lower Manhattan.
"How long do we have to wait for this guy?" he asked. Andy Hillstrand shrugged.
"Don't know, but we've got better things to do than just sit here," he said, taking a sip of beer.
"Yeah, like getting dinner," Johnathan said, looking down at the bar's menu that offered more than just drinking munchies.
The two men ordered dinner while waiting for a Discovery Channel executive who was bringing infamous chef and Travel Channel show host Anthony Bourdain. The channels had decided to do a crossover, putting Anthony to work as the Time Bandit's boat cook for the King crab season coming up in a month. Both the Hillstrands and Bourdain thought it was going to be like trying to mix oil and water. Or trying to put out a fire with gasoline. The television execs were beside themselves thinking about the potential drama.
The exec arrived with Anthony in tow while Johnathan and Andy were finishing their dinners. Anthony had already ordered a drink while walking back to their table and the waiter arrived with it as they walked up to the table.
"I'm going to let you guys get acquainted," Disco exec Jill Tucker said after making introductions. "Don't forget you have to do Good Morning America tomorrow, so don't get too wild."
Johnathan raised his glass as a toast to her. "Aw, you know we're innocent as school boys," he teased, making Jill roll her eyes.
"Yeah right," she said. "Just behave. I don't want to have to bail you out."
Anthony started to laugh.
"There's all kinds of evil and good trouble you can get in here and not get arrested," he said, winking at her. "That'll make for great headlines leading in to the show if we get arrested. But I'm not too eager to see the roundhouse lockup any time soon."
Jill got up from the table. "Please behave guys," she said, walking out the door.
Johnathan watched her go and turned to Anthony, who was also admiring the view heading out the door.
"So what do you think of this bullshit?" Johnathan asked. "Have you ever worked on the boat before?"
Anthony took a swig of his drink.
"Yeah, the corporate gods wanted to boost ratings and I like to salute as long as it keeps my gig in place, so you have to put up with my shit," Anthony said, sipping his drink. "And no, I haven't worked on a boat before."
"What is that girlie shit you're drinking?" Johnathan asked, knocking back a shot of Crown.
"It's called a Walk Me Down," Anthony said and like rapid gunfire, he ticked off the ingredients in the drink: "Put a half-ounce each of vodka, triple sec, rum, gin, Blue Curcacao liquor and tequila in a cocktail shaker with an ounce of sweet and sour mix with ice. Shake and strain into a hurricane glass over ice and stir in little Sprite if you like."
"Damn, you know that by heart don't ya?" Johnathan said. "I usually keep it simple when I drink."
Anthony shrugged. "Two decades of working in restaurants will do that to you. Kinda like a bad flashback," he said. "You like vodka?"
Anthony flagged down their waiter.
"Bring a bottle of Stoli and two glasses," he said, looking at Johnathan with a mischievous glint in his eye. Andy saw that look and resigned himself to be the babysitter for the two men who were gearing up for an epic drinking contest.
"I'll make sure you get to the TV station tomorrow brotha," he said.