And Then There Was One

by ISYM04 Drugged Campers

An… interesting story which contains suicide, mention of drugs, murder, and death, yet is humorous (extremely). Big on crossovers? Big on pigs with afros? Big on dancing squirrels? Big on death? Humor? Read it. (If you're hyper)

And Then There Was One
By: ISYM04 Drugged Campers
Author(s): Alexis, Autumn, and Haley
Minor Helpers: Jessica, Brooke, Kelsey
(This is a story written by a group of people at ISYM 04. (Illinois Summer Youth Music Camp 2004). We have NOT worked very hard on it and it does NOT have a plot. But we think it's good anyway…)
Rating: R for suicide, mention of drugs, murder, machine guns, and a whole hell of a lot of deaths
Summary: An… interesting story which contains suicide, mention of drugs, murder, and death, yet is humorous. Big on pigs with afros? Big on dancing squirrels? Big on death? Humor? Read it. (If you're hyper)
Disclaimer: This was written by a group of drugged band campers. Do you really think we own Harry Potter? No? NO?! Good. Continue reading.
Additional A/N: :: serves as an asterick... seeing as we don't know how to get them. bah.
Another Additional A/N: Oh, and you have to be hyper to read this. VERY hyper. We were very hyper when we wrote it; hence, you should be hyper when you read it! ON WITH THE STORY!

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There once was a pig with an afro. His afro was unfortunately lime green. One day, he was kissed by a handsome prince and turned into a princess. The pig screams, "You baka ::beep:: hentai ::beep:: what have you done to me?"

The prince replies coyly, "I have not yet pleased you, dearest Pig?"

"No, you haven't," replies the pig. "I'm not even female!"

"What?! You are a man?" The prince screams and sits in a dark corner.

Suddenly a dancing squirrel jumps out and sings, "Slash it up, slash it up!" He is carrying a violin and imitating the crazy lady in Spiderman 2.

Out of nowhere, the crazy lady pops out from behind a tree and begins to imitate herself (unknowingly, of course) along with the squirrel. THEN... the pig realized he had been yelling in Japanese when he was actually Swedish!

So, he began yelling, "Guten Tag! Hitler! Nazis! Sweeedish Fish!"

The Swedish pig then proceeds to stab the prince in hiding… and then came the evil Begonias of the Spirit world! They were intent on having a ham… ROTISSERIE STYLE!

Hence, they chased the afro-pig (now a princess) with scissors, and threatened to cut his hair. They then stabbed him with a music stand, and cooked the pig/princess Rotisserie style. He, surprisingly, still tasted like ham… spells these days…

And then, out of the traditional shadows, came… HARRY POTTER! But, he went to the dark side, and had onion breath, as well as wearing a bikini!

Voldemort then came out of the shadows, and kills Harry for not appropriately dressing as a death eater.

"NO! HARRY! COME BACK TO ME!" came the voice of Draco Malfoy, who had also appeared out of the shadows. Lupin then decides he has nothing to live for after the dark side had taken over, commits suicide by hanging himself with an ISYM lanyard (along with a devastated Draco) and the scene switches back to the begonias on ecstasy.

Ron, who shows up out of nowhere, begins to cry, and the he grabs his wand, which is made out of cow crap. It sends a royal stink bomb at the the annoying dancing squirrel.

The squirrel dodges it, and grabs a bow and arrow, and shoots Ron to a bloody pup, then continues dancing on the begonias happily. Hermione comes, snogs Ron, and then drags him away.

Everyone stares in shock for awhile, then suddenly the Begonias turn into King Arthur and his Knights!

The knights and King Arthur attempt, attempt, to kill the dancing squirrel. The squirrel dodges and King Arthur ends up stabbing the Spider Man 2 lady. She, however, lives. The squirrel rushes into the forest quickly and the knights start to sing "Happy Happy Joy Joy".

The dancing squirrel comes back with an army of squirrels with bazookas, as Arthur and his men pull out of their pockets machine guns. Suddenly, Hermione comes back with a bunch of policemen, and is carrying all that is left of Ron… his pinky finger.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Hermione's brain explodes! ::BOOM::

King Arthur had (apparently) taken on Ron's spirit. (Or at least part of him did). King Arthur jumps towards Hermione, dropping his machine gun, and starts to examine her brains, taking on a split personality.

"Mmm…brains!"

"What am I saying?" ::picks up machine gun::

::drops it:: "Brains!" Ron's side completely takes over and King Arthur/Ron starts to play with Hermione's brain.

Hermione grabs her brain and puts it back in her head, as the squirrels and men ready for battle! A raccoon with a keyboard plays: DUN DUHN DUUUUUUUHN! in a menacing tone and shrinks back into the shadows and disappears. Meanwhile, the plants/flowers sit on bleachers preparing to watch the show. (Getting popcorn).

Suddenly the freaky old lady jumps on King Arthur/Ron, yelling, "I LIKE ANKLES!" and proceeds to gnaw on his ankles.

"Bloody Hell!" yells Ron/King Arthur. "Those're me ankles! GERROFF!" He then grabs Hermione's brain back, and the people in the stands add to the effect.

::gasp::

"OH!"

"ACK!"

They then suffocate from trying to keep up, as the police pounced on Arthur/Ron, Hermione trying to get her brain back, the utter commotion of squirrels and knights going to war, and Voldemort cackling evilly in the background. THEN Mokona bouncing around in the top-left-dark corner, poking the still scared prince. ::poke:: … ::poke::

"I LIKE ANKLES!" the crazed woman shouts, doing a strange polka like thing to the potty dance on top of Hermione's brain.

"Get your own ankles!" shouts King Arthur/Ron.

"Okay!" says the crazy lady, who starts to gnaw on her own ankles. Back in the prince's corner, the prince attempts to escape. He succeeds, but is stabbed by a giant waffle by a q-tip. King Arthur/Ron turns around and says:

"AH! Who are you? What are you doing?"

"I am WAFFLE! My goal is to knock down the American Eagle (a roller coaster) and cause destruction everywhere in my path!" Then…

Mokona shouts, "NOOOOOOOOOO! Puu!" and jumps on the waffle, but the waffle asks:

"Why do you care? You're Japanese!"

"My cousin pickacked lives there!"

But now, everyone, except Voldemort, King Arthur/Ron, and the old lady jump to eat the waffle, and InuYasha and Sesshoumaru run in, saying, "I SMELLED WAFFLE!"

Then, a random hyper fangirl jumps out of the bushes, yelling, "FLUFFY!" She then proceeds to squeeze the life out of Sesshoumaru, who staggers around grasping for air. He dies, and InuYasha starts to battle the waffle. The fangirl, apparently pleased with herself, disappears. In the battle, Voldemort flees by apparating (::crack::), InuYasha is (finally) defeated, and all the other people die. BUT WAIT!

It turns out that the waffle and the original squirrel are battling where the scared prince once twitched and trembled. The giant waffle appears to be nearly stabbing the original squirrel, BUT…

The squirrel pulls out his own giant q-tip, impales the middle of the waffle, and the waffle explodes, spraying syrup everywhere. The squirrel then sings "slash it up" on his violin again, and scurries back into the forest.

----THE END----

Reviews are appreciated. Sequel coming soon!