Authors note

Hello This is MissWiseNWitty and this is my first story. After looking at Roaslie from twilight i decided to write a oneshot about her. This story is about why Roaslie tryed to push Bella away. Roaslie was trying to get Bella to realize what she was giviing up which unfotunaly she didn't.

Summary: I pushed her away because i didn't want her to experince to experince the pain and suffering that i did. Life as a vampire wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. I didn't realize that to get a dream you had to give up a dream. A dream i would have done anything to keep. But like they say There's always a price for a dream

Disclaimer alert: I don't Twilight or any of it's charctars

There's always a price for a dream

When Bella came into our lives i couldn't belive Edward would bring a human into our supernatural life. I didn't mean to be so cruel. I was only trying to save Bella from making the same mistake i did . When you become a vampire you live long enough to make your own legacy but you can never pass that legacy. In case you don't understand you can never have children. The one thing i wanted more than ever. The one thing i would have done anything to have.

Humans don't think about such simple things. Like they say you never know what you have untill you lose it . I never thought when i became a vampire that i'd lose my dream, i simply thought that i would have many children. I wish i could back in time and tell my past self that there's always a price for a dream. That to make a dream come true i would have to give up a another dream. A dream that mean't way more than immortaly.

Edwards love to Bella seemed like an addiction more than love. After living for centrucys i learned that no matter how much you supress something that it's still there. Like a rope holding something down the longer something is held down with rope the more it begans to snap. Rope nor true natures can be supressed they can be contained but evuntally they break or surface.

The humanity thing carlise wants all of us to belive is a joke. There is no humanity once you become a vampire . We lose all of our humanity features and keep our greed and selfishness. I only wish i could have known that. The only sense of humanity we keep is the ablitly to feel. Even that is not as pure as humans ablitly to feel though . According to Japer we tend to mess up the pure emotions humans have even though most of their's are covered under the layers of self loathing.

Even bella emotions which Jasper said was the purest he had come across in a long time got messed up when she came across Edward. I wish i could've walked up to her and slapped her and screamed at her to realize what she was giving up. She was giving up the chance to have family not the coven like we have but a real family like blood related something we don't have and will never have. Don't get me wrong i love my coven they are the closest thing i have to family and i love them dearly but it's not the same.

The one thing no one should have to experince and i mean i wouldn't even put this on my wrost enemy is to watch everything around you die expect you. Its like being stuck inside a box watching everything around you change expect you. But that's what happened i was going to stay stuck with the body of a 19 year old. Don't get me wrong my body is fabalous but i can't help but wonder how i would have looked older. I wonder if i would have looked just as gourgeas with gray hair as i do a blonde.

I wish i could scream, shout, or beg anyone just anyone to give me a second chance. But i guess second chances are for people who deserve them and i guess not thinking of the consequence of vampirsm doesn't count for a acceptable excuse. That's why i pushed Bella away. You would think getting bitten would give her a wake up call and would convice her to stay human and enjoy the gift of humanity. But Noooo it just strengthed Edwards and bella love for each other. With Edward being such a shakesphere person he should have realized that in the romeo and juilet love that Juilet ended up deing.

No matter what time or age if Bella somehow finally realized what she was getting herself into. That girl was too headstrong for her own good and that would be a good thing if it wasn't so serous. Yeah they may end up living centrieus together as the couple that love conquers anything but evuntally even the undead have to die it's enedible. Just like the higher speices kills the lower speices the same speices also kills each other. Evuntally one of them will die and the other will folow. At least right now Bella still has the chance to die with her family and friends.

But then again Bella did have the one thing every vampire wished they had. She a child. I'm not talking about those children that are turned as children. She had a vampire/human child that would grow for a while before it stopped growing. That moment when i held Bella child in my hands i couldn't help but envy her.

What did she do that was so special that god decided to give her a child. God knowns that if i had a child that i would've treated it right. I would have given it everything a child needed. I would have given it all the motherly love it needed. Bella would never know the feeling of longing why? Because everything she desired and wanted was given to her before and after she wanted. She would never have to want a child and she would never have to wake up and cry because she saw a child in her dreams. A tease of a dream she would never have.

But why should she she did have a child after all i guess there always a price for a dream and this is mine.

Those are Roaslie thoughts when as she watches bella with her child. Bye for now feel free to follow fav and review Sincerly MissWiseNWitty