Sam's song
I sat in the hospital room, going over tonight's events in my head. Dean lied in the ICU, still in critical condition from having most of his blood drained by the genie. He was unable to speak, but he could move, so he wrote things on a paper tablet beside his bed. When I stood up, he scribbled down, "Where are you going?" I shrugged and walked out of the room, unable to bear seeing my brother full of wires and tubes. I sat on the ledge of the 10th story window, contemplating the jump. I thought of Dean's unanswered question, "Where are you going Sam?" My father's words "Take care of your brother." And my own fucked up feelings.
I straightened out the paper crumpled in my hand and read through it.
To whoever finds this,
I know you're sad now, but just think of how happy I'll be with mom and Jess. Just do yourselves a favor and forget about me. Board up my room and give away all of my things, to anybody, just do whatever you need to do in order to forget me. I love you guys. And I'm sorry it came down to this, but I'm too fucking depressed to go on. I know this is so screwed up, but, you only have one life. I ended mine, but that doesn't mean you can't go out and live yours to the fullest. Don't let my stupid decisions rule your life. I'll miss you.
Love,
Sam.
I smiled as I read the letter and a single thought crossed my mind. "I never thought I'd die alone."
I stood up shakily, feeling dizzier than before. I peered over the edge, seeing lines of traffic below.
Reason kicked in, I'd be in pain for at least 7 minutes before I died. An image of my body, lying twisted and broken at the bottom of the hospital overwhelmed me. I cringed, nearly falling off the ledge.
Another image, this time of Dean finding my body, crossed my mind, filling my eyes with tears.
"Dammit!" I cursed.
I took a seat back on the ledge and crawled back into the hospital window.
If I wanted out of the hunter's life, then I'd find another way to do it, but I wasn't going to get out of it that way.
As I walked back to the ICU, a song played, a song I recognized all too well
I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest who'd have known
I traced the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine, I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed, to go on
You'll be sorry when I'm gone
I smiled at the sad lyrics, thinking about what I was going to do. I entered Dean's room and took my old seat by the door.
Dean scribbled on the paper tablet. "Where did you run off to?" It read.
"Just went for a walk." I lied.
Dean gave me a thumbs up and went back to his T.V show.
I sighed and shoved my hands into my pockets.
My fingers brazed the paper.
I shoved it even deeper into my pocket, planning on tossing it first chance I got.
End
*Just a little one-shot inspired by Adam's Song by Blink 182. I know it probably sucks but, hey whatever man. Comments are greatly appreciated!