This is my first story on fanfiction thank you. I started it yesterday, finished it today...impressive, no? I think they are slightly out of character, but I honestly tried my best. So read and review, please!
Disclaimer: Sadly enough, I do not own any characters mentioned within this story, I'm still working on that...And as far as I know, there are no other stories along the same track as mine is...I very surely hope not, I quite like this idea, and I'd love it to be mine!
The newly dew-ridden grass glistened in the bright sunlight. It swayed in the breeze, lifting dew drops into the clear air. A bright neon purple butterfly drifted across the scene developing nearby. A young teen donning a red blazer was on his hands and knees, gagging. Two other teens appeared to be attempting at helping him, but may have simply been causing him more pain. Four more were standing nearby, but, seeing the damage already being done by the 'helping' ones, kept back. "Blortch" seemed to be the sound of choice, but that is clearly beyond the matter.
Jaden, the blortching one, was eventually rescued from his friends, helpful and unhelpful (mostly unhelpful), and brought to the infirmary for treatment. I believe we shall need to decifer who caused this, no?
"Okay, thank you for coming-" the tall dirty blonde, Alexis, began.
The spiky black haired one interrupted, "Like we had a choice! I still don't know how you brainwashed Syrus and Hassleberry into tying us up in our sleep, and dragging us here!"
"Did I say you could talk, Chazz?!" Silence from the aforementioned. "I didn't think so."
"Alexis can be so cruel sometimes..." Chazz murmured under his breath. Luckily 'Cruel Alexis' did not hear this, and continued on.
"So here we have all suspects. Everyone who was eating the picnic breakfast this morning with us, is here, correct? Alright, we know someone there had to have done it, poisoned Jay, because any food entering the island is checked for that sort of thing, right? So everyone's going to have their chance to say what happened, even me. At least one of the stories will be true, so we'll figure out!" She stepped forward, swiftly grabbed Syrus by the shoulders, and thrust him towards her previous location. "Sy, you're up buddy."
"What?! No-I can't...be first! I can't!" The bluenette stuttered.
"Aaw, suck it up, slacker!" snidely commented Chazz.
"Chazz, you really need to shut up, because you're next!" Alexis so very cheerily replied.
"NO!...no. Hell no!"
"Aaw, suck it up, slacker!" Syrus said in a babyish tone.
"OKAY! Okay. Just tell us what happened this morning, Sy." Alexis insisted, trying to calm down the bickering children.
Syrus soon began, after a brief self-pep talk. "Okay...so Jay set up that picnic, but...it was raining, so...we had it i-inside. Then he wanted to have that...milk chugging contest, and...well, he won, 'cause then he reeeeaaallly had to go to the bathroom. So...he r-ran outside, and it had stopped raining and everything...then maybe two minutes later he came back, ate some food...then ran b-back outside, and started choking. I-I tried to help him...but...I don't think it worked..." With that, he released a grand sigh of the relief of completing his explanation.
"Oh yaaaay...now we know who did it..." Chazz yawned.
Alexis smartly replied, "Don't be a smart-ass, Chazz, guess who's up?"
The ebony-haired teen stood with a grand gesture, proudly walked over to the speaking area, and started, "Well. Syrus already said that we had that damned picnic inside. I was only there because Jaden hid my jacket somewhere, and said I could only get it back if I came. So later Jaden started trying to guess why I hate carrots, how could I possibly hate carrots, why don't I eat one now, then suddenly perks up, and says - Let's have a milk drinking contest! - He freaking produced like, six gallons of milk from nowhere, and manages to drink three-fourths of it in half a minute! Of course he had to go to the bathroom, I can't see why he didn't think of that before, he could have gone during the contest, come back, and still won, then no one would have had a chance to do anything. So he comes back, and starts scarfing the entire bread basket, like he's never seen food before, runs out, and starts puking in the freaking grass! So I watched whilst Sy and Hassleberry commenced making life for Jaden more hell than it is able to produce on its own." Satisfied with himself, he bowed. "Was that good enough for you?"
"Wow...Chazz. I didn't know it was possible for anyone, even you, to be so annoying only by saying six sentences that had anything to do with anything." This was Zane, another bluenette who happened to be Syrus' brother. Chazz simply ignored this statement, and sat in his place.
"Way to be cruel, Zane. Okay, what have we learned from this one?" Alexis replied/asked to the group.
Syrus raised his hand, "I've learned that Chazz is kind of mean!" Sadly enough, Chazz did not notice this derogatory remark about him, as he had proceeded to nod off, as if his verbal flashback had severely tired him out.
Alexis noticed this and explained, "No Sy, he's just useless..."
"Haha, so who's up next, hmm?" Syrus grinned.
"I'll go!" Alexis' brother, Atticus, jumped up happily, and hopped on over to that fantastic spot.
"Ahem..." he began, importantly-ish, "So we had this awesome picnic inside, I mean, who woulda thought of that? And everyone was fawning over how buff and handsome I am, and, and, Chazz." Atticus had finally noticed that Chazz was dead asleep, as he had begun speaking about some dream about a moose smacking into a wall, and everyone had begun snickering, excluding ever-stoic Zane. So he walked over and shook Chazz like a rag doll, which frightened the poor previously sleeping to no end, because being shaken awake from some simply fantastic moose dream is something no one wants happening to them. "I WAS ABOUT TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT YOU, CHAZZ!" Atticus screamed in the wide-eyed Chazz's face. "So..." he calmly continued, "as I was saying. Chazz, I was there, when Jaden and you were talking about those carrots, and that's not all that happened and you know it!" He now turned to the slightly less traumatized portion of the crowd, "After he wouldn't answer Jaden when he asked why he didn't like them, he proceeded to...he proceeded to force feed the carrots to Chazz! Besides that, I didn't notice anything the others didn't catch." As Atticus moved on to sit down, his comrades were having a hard time composing themselves after picturing Jaden shoving carrots down Chazz's throat, which apparently is quite funny, as the sufferer glowered, and, once again, ever-silent Zane was...silent.
Once the commotion died down Alexis stammered, "Ha, weeeell...ha who's up next? Hahaha...ahem."
"If I go, can I leave?" Zane remarked.
Alexis sighed, "No, but you get a cookie, and you can hit Chazz."
"I resent tha--" Chazz was cut off.
"No one flipping cares what you resent, Chazz, 'cause you always seem to resent every freaking thing!" Alexis, the cutter-offer.
"Oh yum, a cookie? And I get to hit Chazz? I've gotten the jackpot. Okay, there was the picnic. And then Jaden drank fifty gallons of milk. He left, came back, scarfed down as much food as is physically possible to scarf down in the course of one minute, left again, and got sick in the grass. I didn't think I could help any more than Hassleberry or Syrus could, so I just watched too. The nurse came, said it was food poisoning, carted him off, and left us to do this to ourselves." He then walked up to Chazz, slapped him across the face, went to Alexis to retrieve his cookie, and sat, all with the same expression.
"Ooooooow?!" Chazz unnecessarily said, as no one listened to him, no one cared, so he was left alone to tend to the hand-shaped mark his cheek, which appeared to be the color of a sunburnt strawberry, due to his severely pale skin.
Alexis slowly stated, "You used as little words as you possibly could, didn't you? And you hit Chazz kind of hard..."
"Doesn't matter, none of it does." Zane responded through munching on his newly acquired cookie.
"HALF OF MY FACE IS BLOOD RED, DOESN'T THAT MATTER?!?!" the pained Chazz screamed.
Silence.
Alexis ended the silence with, "I guess I'm last..."
She walked up to the prized speaking spot in the middle of everyone, and explained what happened with, "I did not notice anything that the others have not said." And she left it at that.
"That's really not fair, Lex! Is that why you made everyone go before you, huh?" Syrus exclaimed.
Alexis replied with, "Of course not, Sy, why would I do that?"
"Sarcasm! That's sarcasm! Chazz knows about sarcasm, wasn't that sarcasm, Chazz?!"
Chazz said with an all-knowing tone, "Yup, sarcasm, definately sarcasm."
"Wait." said Atticus, "Was that sarcasm too? Hoo boy."
"O-Oh well. Now we're done, right?" Alexis interuppted into the sarcastically sarcastic conversation.
Just then, the Sarge, Hassleberry, burst in, seriously harming the door in the process, shouting, "Now hold up! I was there too!" Most of everyone stared, dumbstruck.
"You weren't inside, though, Sarge!" tiny Syrus pointed out.
"Of course! I wouldn't be caught dead at any picnic!"
"Yeah, Sarge, sure. But you'd be caught dead standing outside of one...in the rain?"
"Well yes. I was training! In the rain."
Alexis awkwardly asked, "So, what did you...hear?"
Hassleberry straightened into a military-esque posture, and announced, "Well, I was mighty tired by then, but I started hearin' Chazzy here screaming for his life about carrots. Next thing I know Jaden's up here (insert clever military related metaphor here) in the grass!"
"Okay...how helpful. Now we should see who we each think did it. And no confidentiallity! We'll all state who we think it is and why to the entire group! Alright?" Alexis explained. "Syrus?"
"What?! Me first...again?" sad Syrus stuttered, "I-I think it was...Chazz!"
"WHAT? Why would I do that?!" Chazz angrily questioned the younger bluenette.
"Well, he stole your jacket, and you love that jacket...so..."
Alexis, interuppting a pointless converstion for the umtillionth time, "Okay, okay. So who else thinks it was Chazz?" After saying this, virtually everyone rose their hand, excluding Syrus, who had already made his vote clear, and Chazz, who was not about to vote for himself and say that he poisoned Jaden.
"What?! No! I didn't do it! I don't know who did, but I didn't!" Chazz rambled on.
Luckily for ecstatic Chazz, Jaden chose that moment to walk in on them, completely alright. "Eeurm...what's up guys?" he grinned.
"OMIGOD WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DYING FROM BEING POISONED BY CHAZZ, JAY!" Syrus screamed as he spinted up to a shocked Jaden, and engulfed him in a massive bear hug, as Chazz blushed insanely.
"Umm...no? I wasn't poisoned. Did the nurse-lady say that? No. She checked me over, and said I was okay, except--" Jaden's explanation was cut short.
Alexis started, "Oh, we're glad you're alright, Jay, I'm glad Chazz didn't poison you." Soon everyone got up and hugged the bruenette, excepting Chazz, who was still attempting to stop the red from creeping up his cheeks.
Jaden had a worried look when he said, "Guys? I'm sure you like breathing my non-poisoned air and all, but...the nurse said I have the flu...the contagious kind." Very soon everyone, sooner than they had hugged him in the first place, released their hugs, and commenced rapidly spitting and rubbing their tongues to remove the flu infested air that had touched it. Meanwhile, the uninfected Chazz was hysterical, finally recieving his share of laughter for the day.
"I hate my life." muttered Chazz, dressed in a laced maid costume, as he delivered a cold pack to Jaden for his head. As he was the only one of anyone who was there and wasn't sick with the flu, he had to help out the now filled infirmary of sick patients. Of course he enjoyed it...why shouldn't he? Sarcasm and karma are odd things, are they not? They go quite well together.
So, as long as no one has died from reading this, I hope you enjoyed. Also, considering Chazz's moose dream, that has happened. I didn't start talking about it in my sleep, as far as I know, but it did happen, there were many a moose, and many a moose were smacking into walls. Best dream ever, no?