Caleb jones was an alcoholic with a bitch ass temper.
"Where is my damn drink." Yelled caleb to the bartender
"5 bucks you cheap ass." said the bartender angrily.
"Put it on my damn tab." yelled caleb angrilly.
The bartender grabbed a stool and smacked caleb in the face with it. Caleb put his hand on his face and rubbed his big fat head.
"Damn it asshole. your ass is mine." said caleb.
The bartender grabbed a beer bottle and smacked it against the counter breaking it into pieces. The bartender grabbed a big sharp piece and raised it right up to caleb's face.
"Okay i'll get money bitch." said caleb backing away.
Caleb ran into a big strong alcoholic while running on his way out.
"Out of my way jack ass." said caleb angrily.
"Don't tell me what to do fat ass." said the strong man.
"Fuck you i do what i want whenever i want at all times." said caleb angrily
The strong man punched caleb in his big fat head knocking him on the floor.
"God damn it asshole. i am going to kick your ass!" said caleb angrily.
The bartender ran up to caleb.
"Get up caleb you look like a dumb ass standing there and you have 10 days to pay your tab before i cut your head off with my chainsaw." said the bartender holding up a chainsaw.
"Fuck you!" yelled caleb angrily.
The bartender sliced caleb's left hand off.
"God damn it ass hole." yelled caleb angrily.
"Don't test me jack ass." yelled the bartender angrilly.
Caleb got up and left but on the way out the strong man lifted him in the air.
"Remember you are my bitch now." said the strong man.
"Fuck you!" said caleb angrily.
the strong man threw caleb out! Caleb ran all the way home while pissing his pants in fear of getting his head sliced off. Caleb entered his house and met up with his bitch ass ugly wife naomi.
"Where the fuck have you been!" yelled naomi.
"Fuck you woman! i love penises!" yelled caleb angrily!
"What the fuck are you talking about!" yelled naomi angrily!
"I am gay i admit it bitch!" yelled caleb angrily.
Naomi grabbed a frying pan and smacked caleb in the fucking face with it!
"Ouch bitch!" yelled caleb!
"How dare you lie to me for the past 2 years!" yelled naomi angrily smacking caleb with the frying pan again!
"Fuck you i do what i want!" yelled caleb angrily!
naomi reached into her pocket and grabbed her lighter and lit the frying pan on fire and smacking caleb one last time!
"God damn it bitch!" yelled caleb angrilly while on fire.
Naomi kicked caleb in the testicles causing him to fall to the floor causing the fire to be put out!
"Don't fuck with me you little bastard!" yelled naomi angrily!
Suddenly there was a knock on the door it was the police!
"Excuse me we are here for caleb. We believe he blew up house with fireworks and took a crap on the lawn last week!" said the cop.
"Fuck you i do what i want!" yelled caleb angrily getting up.
"look man i don-
"Fuck you i do what i want!" yelled caleb running towards the cop
The cop punched caleb in his fucking head knocking his ass out.
"Your ass is mine!" said the cop taking caleb and putting him in his car!
"Good riddance!" yelled naomi happily!
Caleb woke up after a few minutes!
"Fuck you man! i do what-
"Shut the fuck up! your ass is mine!" said the cop pulling out his taser.
The cop tased caleb repeatly to show him who the real man is! The reached the police station where the cop calleb his fellow cops! The cops came out with baseball bats and ran towards the car.
"Time for your punishment. you little fucker!" said the cop happily kicking caleb out.
The cop in the car left and the other cops ran towards caleb. Caleb tried to run but ended up tripping over his feet. The cops took turns hitting him with the bats!
"Take this fucker" the cops told caleb!
"Fuck you!" yelled caleb each time he got smacked!
One cop got a giant metal bat and lit it on fire.
"No No!" yelled caleb in fear!
The cop smacked caleb as hard as he could and caleb was knocked out! caleb ended up suffering from third degree burns and the attack ended up on cops! Naomi ended up watching it laughing her ass off at the scene of caleb's attack!
"Serves that lying bastard right!" said naomi happily.
Caleb tried to get money for this but before he could the bartender showed up.
"I saw the cops thing and well i decided to not chop off your arms!" said the bartender
"really?" asked caleb!
"Yes, i am going to chop off your head asshole even with the money. since you are too much of a dick!" said the bartender.
Caleb tried to punch the bartender but the bartender countered it with a quick kick in the testicles! The bartender grabbed his chainsaw and sawwed caleb's head off! Caleb's brain flew across the room!
"That was awesome!" yelled the bartender happily!
"Good that little fucker is gone!" yelled naomi happily that caleb is gone!
Naomi grabbed the bartender's hand
"Now we can finally marry now that little shit head is gone!" said naomi happily!
"Yes! now we can spend our honeymoon in the rain forest!" said the bartender happily.
10 years later
Naomi married the bartender and have 3 children. Naomi never told the children about caleb and it was for the best!
"10 years without that fucker. life has been good." Naomi thought happily.
The bartender appeared with two glasses of wine!
"Drink up it's our 10th anniversary!" said the bartender drinking happily!
Naomi and the bartender smiled at the happiness without caleb!