A/N: By "the rock", I don't mean the wrestler. I mean an actual rock. Stone. Mini-boulder. Now that that's settled, on with the story!

This isn't the Yona one-shot I promised, it's actually multi-chaptered. But it does feature the YohXAnna pairing, except set in a more humorous situation. The one-shot will be more fluffy, and I'm aiming to get it up on August 31st (the day my Dunkin Donuts coffee coupons expire –sniff–) so keep checking from time to time.

Everyone should be pretty much in character. Yoh laid-back guy we all love. Anna violent in that caring way. Sorry if there are OOC moments.

Please read and pop in a review while you're at it! Thanks.

Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King. It belongs to Hiroyuki Takei (genius, man).

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CHAPTER ONE

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"Remind me why we're doing this again?"

"Because, Yoh, condoms only have a 97 percent success rate."

"I see."

Yoh Asakura and his newly-wed wife, Anna Kyouyama Asakura, were walking in comfortable silence down the familiar path to the Asakura household.

Kino, Yoh's grandmother, had decided it was high time to teach the young couple everything she knew about raising a baby.

After their honeymoon, the old woman had no doubt Anna would be conceiving soon and saw this as a golden opportunity to feed – or rather, force – some crucial life skills into their brains.

Moments later, the pair had arrived at their destination and made their way to the main room where Kino awaited them.

"Have a seat," she gestured towards the mats placed on the floor.

She had anticipated their arrival. Why wouldn't she have? It had been she that requested their presence in the first place.

Wordlessly, both did as they were told.

"Now, you should know the reason for your coming."

A nod came from the two.

Yoh was having a particularly difficult time, as he struggled to stay awake. His head was in fact bobbing up and down from the repeated action of nearly falling asleep and jerking awake at the last minute.

Kino held up a rock.

"No, don't hit me, I'M AWAKE!" Yoh yelled out loud in a frenzied panic, now fully awake and shielding his head with his hands.

Both women stared at him questioningly.

"... So what's with the rock?" Yoh asked, hoping to ease the awkward silence.

"This will be your baby," Kino explained, "We will be using this for demonstrational purposes, and practice. Now, shall we proceed?"

Nodding was their only answer. Their necks were receiving quite a workout.

"Let's start by asking a few questions to find out what you already know."

Kino placed the rock a few feet in front of her.

"Now, assuming that the rock is your baby, what would you do if it were cold?"

Yoh immediately stood up and plopped ass-first down onto the rock.

He was there for only a moment as a slap sent him flying halfway across the room.

"Yoh, baka! You'll flatten it. I will not have a pancake for a child."

Her husband grinned sheepishly, "Heh, but I thought body heat would be best."

"BODY heat, not butt heat."

"Interesting approach, Yoh," Kino commented, before Anna could murder her baby-squishing husband, "Now Anna, what method would you take?"

Raising an eyebrow, Anna promptly exited the room.

When she returned, she was carrying a bucket filled with water. Steam was rising out from the top.

Taking the rock, the itako dropped it into the bucket. It landed with a loud 'plunk'.

"Also another possibility, although I have to say the best course of action to take would have been to wrap some blankets around your child," the elder woman informed them patiently.

"I was using my body as a blanket."

"Bucket and blanket both started with B."

Came the justifications.

Kino sighed. This was going to be a long, LONG day.

TO BE CONTINUED

A/N: I hope everyone enjoys this! Chapter Two: Force Feeding is on the way.