I wrote this because I was insanly bored and it turned out half-way decent, so I thought I'd post it. It's my first fic so please be nice :) Oh, and review!
The first time he sees her, he hates her. It's the shallowness, the stupidity he thinks.
He's lying to himself. It's because she's beautiful and yet she represents everything he hates. And he's so angry that she can make him nervous, when he just wants to hate her like he should. It fades, the feeling, until he feels comfortable with the game they play, where he insults her and she yells. Maybe that's why he does it. Not just because he hates her, but also because she gets flushed and her eyes get angry and flashing.
He likes seeing her angry. If she notices why he's enticing her into this vicious cycle of hate and repressed emotions, she doesn't say anything. Saying something would stop the game. And she doesn't want to stop the warm, painful feeling when he's mean to her. Maybe it's because, even though he thinks she's ridiculous, at least that means he's thinking about her.
She likes that he's thinking about her, even if she doesn't fully understand why it gives her the feeling that something is swelling up inside her chest. And the insults, the mean, biting comments, the withering sarcasm?
Sometimes she worries that he's right.
Jackie's just trying to make him jealous. Flaunting around her new boyfriend. Which doesn't matter because he doesn't care. He's talking to him, Chip, how Jackie's annoying, when he says it.
"I figure it's worth it if I can nail her". Hyde glances over at Jackie, so oblivious. She's laughing. She doesn't know that Chip's using her, that like Kelso, he'll drop her for some skank when he gets what he wants.
"Huh" He pauses "You should probably think about that, man. Jackie's kinda young, she's only had one boyfriend..."
"Yeah, that's not a big surprise, y'know...she's a bitch" There's this anger swelling up inside of him, that this...this asshole is going to take advantage of Jackie.
"Oh no..."The next thing he feels is his fist connecting with Chip's jaw, the satisfaction when he falls, but the need to hurt him like he was going to hurt her. He's furious with Chip and furious with himself for caring.
It starts off by mistake. She's bored and he's bored. The thought that they could both fool around without having to put anything on the line is nice. Jackie doesn't think about their first kiss, when the world was perfect, but she was scared to make the leap. Hyde doesn't think about how much he's wanted this, since he first realized how much he cared about her. He doesn't think about how he wants to just hold her sometimes, and how that urge scares him. Jackie doesn't think about how much she wants to do sweet things with him, not just sexy stuff.
At least, they don't mean to.
"Jackie?"He catches her wrist in his hand as they are about to leave, and she turns expectantly.
"Yeah?" she asks.
"I have room in the basement, if that's what...you know..."She looks up at him for a moment. "If your parents are taking their time getting home..."
She smiles that intoxicating smile, and throws her arms around his neck, pressing herself up against him, kissing him. Her hair is just under his nose and he smells the mixture of vanilla and cinnamon that is so clearly Jackie. She wraps her arms around his waist.
"Thank you" she whispers in his ear.
"No biggie" he shrugs, but secretly he's really pleased he's made her happy. She's still leaning against him when Donna comes back.
"Hurry up, you guys" she says, annoyed, not aware that she's intruding on a moment that no one realizes yet is beautiful, because they're all unsure of what it is exactly.
Hyde lets Jackie pull him towards the Hub, listens to her talk about her hair, and then, before he knows it, realizes he's in love with this beautiful, complicated mess of a girl.
They're lying on his cot, wrapped in blankets. She's staring at the wall, and he's staring at the back of her head.
"Steven?"
"Yeah"
"Would you get angry if I went out with...a guy?" The world freezes and then plummets.
"Jackie..."
"I mean, we're just fooling around, right? We don't love- like each other."
"Who is it?"
"Would you be angry?" They pause for a tense second.
"Yes. I'd be mad. I'd be...really mad"
"Oh."
"Who is it?"
"No one...I just...I wanted to know."
"So no one...?"
"No"
They pause and she curls back into his arms, under the blankets.
"Would you still get angry if I was ugly?"
"Jackie!" She giggles.
"Sorry" She smiles at him, and he thinks again how special she makes him feel.
"Jackie...do you want...you know...to be something..."
"No." A heavy pause "Not if you don't want to"
Another pause.
"Maybe I want to."
"Oh"
"So..."
"Steven, you're my boyfriend. Okay?"
"Okay"
She turns around and he feels her relax. They're lying there for a while.
"Jackie?"
"Mmm?"
"I wouldn't care if you were ugly"She turns to look at him, eyelids sweeping up, mouth parted slighted. He's reminded how beautiful she is. "Because I'd want you with me, no matter what." It's not 'I love you'
But it's close.
She yells it without meaning too, and that reassures him. It isn't him, it's her. She's still in love with Kelso and he's loving it. The bastard doesn't care that Hyde's broken, and that it's because of a girl that he was supposed to hate. All he sees that he's loved, like he always is, because he's beautiful. He wants to hurt him, to punish him for being like that, for everyone loving him, but that won't change how people look at him. It won't change how Jackie looks at him. And so he'll go through life or hell, whatever this is, pretending he doesn't care.
If you don't care you can't get hurt.
He's supposed to be angry. So why can he only think about how beautiful she looks in that damn dress. It's all creamy against her skin, and he'd love to slip it off her like water falling to a puddle at the floor. She's flushed and babbling about how theirs wedding will be perfect. He doesn't want to think about how much he's fallen for her, so he picks her up and puts her in the dressing room. He catches a last glimpse of her excited eyes and he can see her for a brief moment, walking down to their future, trying not to laugh, eyes fixed steadily on him. He shakes his head.
The image doesn't fade
He's standing out on the front porch. The wind and bitter cold feels crisp and perfect against his hot skin. The images flash in his mind.
Jackie laughing.
Jackie pressing her lips against his.
Jackie dressed in pink and ruffles and somehow still beautiful.
Jackie on top of him, hitting with her hairbrush, hair flying
Jackie's warm body up against his.
Jackie, kissing Kelso, Fez, someone who's not him.
It wasn't supposed to be like this.
He wasn't supposed to care this much.