This is my first fic and it's basically about InuYasha as a Detective but has damn near no plot it's
just stupid fun. Oh, and yes, I welcome flames. THE FLAMES! THE FLAMES! BURN! BURN MY PRECIOUS
FLAMES! BWAHAHA! Ahem, on with the fic! Oh and please review! Please please please please
please please please please.......
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the InuYasha characters, I write fanfics for fun not profit, blah blah
blah you know the drill.
Case #1 - The Bishounen Kidnapper Part 1
Inu narrating: *His Detective hat is tipped down so you can't see his face and is speaking in a
strange brooklyn accent* It was a day like any other, the birds were singing until the Youkai
killed them, flowers were dying, and Kilala took a crap in my shoes. But what wasn't usual was
the girl who came in to my detective agency, she had legs that........*Kagome whispers
something in his ear* wait a minute, that was a guy? Aw man. There goes my Saturday night
dinner plans. Anyway he came in my office asking for my help.......
Sesshoumaru: I've heard of men all over the countryside being kidnapped by an obsessed woman,
and I fear I might be next! You must help me!
Inu: *Still speaking in that Brooklyn accent* So, you want me to protect you huh?
Sess: Stop that!
Inu: *Regular voice* Sorry.
Sess: Uh-huh.
Inu: Okay I'll protect you. But first I want you to tell me if you can think of anyone who might
be the one doing it.
Sess: If I knew don't you think I would have killed her by now?
Inu: Uh, good point. Anyway our next step is to...um....to, what the hell was it again?! *Takes out
a book entitled: Perry Mason The Case Of The Missing Case* Let's see, *Flips pages*
Mo-tive, uh.....ev-i-dence, oh here it is! Step number one: Don't you know anything you
stupid hanyou?! Grrrr.....that's the last time I buy a book from that librarian
Kouga......*mumble, mumble* always writing stupid anecdotes in it.....
Sess: Are you gonna help me or not?
Inu: Of course I will! *Whispers* Stupid job.......
Sess: What was that?
Inu: Nothing!
*Suddenly InuYasha's secretary, Kagome, walks in*
Kagome: InuYasha, your four o'clock dental appointment has been moved to tomorrow at five.
Inu: Damnit. WHY WON'T ANYONE TOUCH MY TEETH?! Just because I never brush them......
*Kagome leaves*
Sess: Hey that secretary of yours is quite cute....
*Inu hits Sess on the head with his desk*
Inu: YOU BASTARD! DON'T EVER, EVER TALK ABOUT KAGOME LIKE THAT AGAIN!
Sess: *Laying on the floor and holding his head in pain* Sorry.
Inu: Now let's get back to business. I want five jewel shards as payment.
Sess: FIVE? But I don't have ANY.
Inu: Then I won't help you.
Sess: But I'm your brother!
Inu: So? I want jewel shards damnit! I ain't gonna do it oughtta the goodness of my heart!
Sess: Fine. *Takes out a sequined purse and counts out five jewel shards* There! Now, that you
have your damn payment, can we go back to protecting me from the evil woman?
Inu: .......You.....carry a sequined purse?
Sess: Yes, is that illegal?
Inu: It should be.
Sess: What about my case?
Inu: Oh yeah I forgot. We should probably go check out the crime scenes.
Sess: Um, Okay....
*Somewhere in Feudal Japan*
Inu: *Looking at ground through a giant eyeglass* Hm, these look like footprints.
Sess: Yes InuYasha, I keep telling you, they're yours......
Inu: *Puts giant eyeglass away* Oh. Well, next we question witnessess!
Sess: There aren't any.
Inu: Well, did any of the victims have anything in common?
Sess: I don't know. Let's see..... Bankotsu, Kouga, Naraku.......
Inu: Oh my God! She's kidnapping bishounen!
Sess and Kag thinking: Naraku's a bishounen?
Inu: We must act quickly before this....this....rabid fangirl kidnaps more of those poor
helpless bishounen!
Sess: I am not helpless!
Inu: Oh? Then why did you come to me asking for my help?
Sess: *Pouts and looks away*
Kag: InuYasha, why don't we set a trap for the kidnapper?
Inu: Aha! Brilliant deduction! Glad I thought of it.....
Sess and Kag: *Sweatdrop*
Inu: *Gets evil look on face* Seessshoouummaaruuuuuuu.......
Sess: No! Oh please God no! You're supposed to protect me!!
Inu: I can't protect you unless I find the girl.....
*After dark in the middle of some field*
Sess: *Tied to a chair and has tape covering his mouth and has a sign across his chest which
reads "I am a bishounen. Please kidnap me, oh mighty fangirl!* Iam grmphh kuu mnooswa!
*TRANSLATION - I will get you for this InuYasha!*
Inu: *Smirking* Yeah, yeah. Kagome, let's hide and wait for the obsessed fangirl.
Kag: Okay!
*They hide behind a nearby bush*
Inu whispering: Okay all ready! Come on out you sick woman!
*They wait until they hear someone coming*
Inu whispering: All right, this is it!
*Kaede steps out of the shadows*
Inu whispering: *Throws head back and looks disappointed* Aw man it's just Kaede!
Sess: Akkfdfa sfhahkmppphhh! *TRANSLATION - Hey let me loose!*
Kaede: No I will not go out with you.
Sess:*Looking really mad* Mmmphh yuiiugijb hjggh! *TRANSLATION - That's not what I said!*
Kaede: Sorry I won't do it even if you do beg. *Leaves*
Inu: *Sweatdrop* Geez that was creepy.
Kag: *Sweatdrop* I didn't know Kaede was so...lonely.
*Another person comes their way*
Rin:....?
Sess: Ohhmmfkha aufauifh sayhfiauhf! *TRANSLATION - Oh my God Rin! I'm so happy to see you!*
Rin....?
Inu Whispering: No, sweet little Rin can't be the kidnapper! Tell me she's not the kidnapper!
Kukukuku......what a cliffhanger, eh? Please PLEASE review, this is my first fic and I WANT SOME
REVIEWS OR I WILL SMITE YOU! Ahem anyway, tell me what you think of my story. Just who IS
the Bishounen Kidnapper? Is it Rin? Could it somewhow still be Kaede? Who knows? Me,
that's who! Stay tuned for part two of The Bishounen Kidnapper!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *cough, cough* HAHAHAHA!
just stupid fun. Oh, and yes, I welcome flames. THE FLAMES! THE FLAMES! BURN! BURN MY PRECIOUS
FLAMES! BWAHAHA! Ahem, on with the fic! Oh and please review! Please please please please
please please please please.......
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the InuYasha characters, I write fanfics for fun not profit, blah blah
blah you know the drill.
Case #1 - The Bishounen Kidnapper Part 1
Inu narrating: *His Detective hat is tipped down so you can't see his face and is speaking in a
strange brooklyn accent* It was a day like any other, the birds were singing until the Youkai
killed them, flowers were dying, and Kilala took a crap in my shoes. But what wasn't usual was
the girl who came in to my detective agency, she had legs that........*Kagome whispers
something in his ear* wait a minute, that was a guy? Aw man. There goes my Saturday night
dinner plans. Anyway he came in my office asking for my help.......
Sesshoumaru: I've heard of men all over the countryside being kidnapped by an obsessed woman,
and I fear I might be next! You must help me!
Inu: *Still speaking in that Brooklyn accent* So, you want me to protect you huh?
Sess: Stop that!
Inu: *Regular voice* Sorry.
Sess: Uh-huh.
Inu: Okay I'll protect you. But first I want you to tell me if you can think of anyone who might
be the one doing it.
Sess: If I knew don't you think I would have killed her by now?
Inu: Uh, good point. Anyway our next step is to...um....to, what the hell was it again?! *Takes out
a book entitled: Perry Mason The Case Of The Missing Case* Let's see, *Flips pages*
Mo-tive, uh.....ev-i-dence, oh here it is! Step number one: Don't you know anything you
stupid hanyou?! Grrrr.....that's the last time I buy a book from that librarian
Kouga......*mumble, mumble* always writing stupid anecdotes in it.....
Sess: Are you gonna help me or not?
Inu: Of course I will! *Whispers* Stupid job.......
Sess: What was that?
Inu: Nothing!
*Suddenly InuYasha's secretary, Kagome, walks in*
Kagome: InuYasha, your four o'clock dental appointment has been moved to tomorrow at five.
Inu: Damnit. WHY WON'T ANYONE TOUCH MY TEETH?! Just because I never brush them......
*Kagome leaves*
Sess: Hey that secretary of yours is quite cute....
*Inu hits Sess on the head with his desk*
Inu: YOU BASTARD! DON'T EVER, EVER TALK ABOUT KAGOME LIKE THAT AGAIN!
Sess: *Laying on the floor and holding his head in pain* Sorry.
Inu: Now let's get back to business. I want five jewel shards as payment.
Sess: FIVE? But I don't have ANY.
Inu: Then I won't help you.
Sess: But I'm your brother!
Inu: So? I want jewel shards damnit! I ain't gonna do it oughtta the goodness of my heart!
Sess: Fine. *Takes out a sequined purse and counts out five jewel shards* There! Now, that you
have your damn payment, can we go back to protecting me from the evil woman?
Inu: .......You.....carry a sequined purse?
Sess: Yes, is that illegal?
Inu: It should be.
Sess: What about my case?
Inu: Oh yeah I forgot. We should probably go check out the crime scenes.
Sess: Um, Okay....
*Somewhere in Feudal Japan*
Inu: *Looking at ground through a giant eyeglass* Hm, these look like footprints.
Sess: Yes InuYasha, I keep telling you, they're yours......
Inu: *Puts giant eyeglass away* Oh. Well, next we question witnessess!
Sess: There aren't any.
Inu: Well, did any of the victims have anything in common?
Sess: I don't know. Let's see..... Bankotsu, Kouga, Naraku.......
Inu: Oh my God! She's kidnapping bishounen!
Sess and Kag thinking: Naraku's a bishounen?
Inu: We must act quickly before this....this....rabid fangirl kidnaps more of those poor
helpless bishounen!
Sess: I am not helpless!
Inu: Oh? Then why did you come to me asking for my help?
Sess: *Pouts and looks away*
Kag: InuYasha, why don't we set a trap for the kidnapper?
Inu: Aha! Brilliant deduction! Glad I thought of it.....
Sess and Kag: *Sweatdrop*
Inu: *Gets evil look on face* Seessshoouummaaruuuuuuu.......
Sess: No! Oh please God no! You're supposed to protect me!!
Inu: I can't protect you unless I find the girl.....
*After dark in the middle of some field*
Sess: *Tied to a chair and has tape covering his mouth and has a sign across his chest which
reads "I am a bishounen. Please kidnap me, oh mighty fangirl!* Iam grmphh kuu mnooswa!
*TRANSLATION - I will get you for this InuYasha!*
Inu: *Smirking* Yeah, yeah. Kagome, let's hide and wait for the obsessed fangirl.
Kag: Okay!
*They hide behind a nearby bush*
Inu whispering: Okay all ready! Come on out you sick woman!
*They wait until they hear someone coming*
Inu whispering: All right, this is it!
*Kaede steps out of the shadows*
Inu whispering: *Throws head back and looks disappointed* Aw man it's just Kaede!
Sess: Akkfdfa sfhahkmppphhh! *TRANSLATION - Hey let me loose!*
Kaede: No I will not go out with you.
Sess:*Looking really mad* Mmmphh yuiiugijb hjggh! *TRANSLATION - That's not what I said!*
Kaede: Sorry I won't do it even if you do beg. *Leaves*
Inu: *Sweatdrop* Geez that was creepy.
Kag: *Sweatdrop* I didn't know Kaede was so...lonely.
*Another person comes their way*
Rin:....?
Sess: Ohhmmfkha aufauifh sayhfiauhf! *TRANSLATION - Oh my God Rin! I'm so happy to see you!*
Rin....?
Inu Whispering: No, sweet little Rin can't be the kidnapper! Tell me she's not the kidnapper!
Kukukuku......what a cliffhanger, eh? Please PLEASE review, this is my first fic and I WANT SOME
REVIEWS OR I WILL SMITE YOU! Ahem anyway, tell me what you think of my story. Just who IS
the Bishounen Kidnapper? Is it Rin? Could it somewhow still be Kaede? Who knows? Me,
that's who! Stay tuned for part two of The Bishounen Kidnapper!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *cough, cough* HAHAHAHA!