Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate Atlantis or the characters.
Finding Home
"We can't just leave!" John exploded, jumping up from his chair in the briefing room. He ran a hand through his messy dark hair and took a deep breath.
"We have our orders. The Athosians are to be returned to their planet and we are to leave before the Wraith arrive," Elizabeth said, letting out a long sigh and standing up. She looked from face to face. Rodney, John, Carson, even Aiden, whom they had found off-world nearly a year ago, were looking glum. "We have our orders. Everyone, start packing. We have until tomorrow to be ready."
John left the room quickly, trying not to let his temper explode. How could they just leave? They had been on Atlantis for five years! Who had a home back on Earth? He sure as hell didn't. There was nothing for him to go back to. Only a lonely life. No friends, no family. He had absolutely nothing to return to. He didn't even have a house for God's sake!
Stuffing his hands in his pocket, John continued to walk through the halls, wanting to go anywhere but his quarters, where he would have to start packing to go home.
How do you define home? Does it have to be where you were born? Where you grew up? What ever happened to 'Home is where the heart is'?
Kicking at an empty box that littered the halls, John walked out onto the balcony, gripping the rail and looking down into the ocean. A light breeze gently flowed through the air, blowing through John's already messy hair. He sighed again, looking up into the sky. It was clear, only a few, small, clouds littereing the light blue sky. How could he leave this life? This was his home! These people were his home. Would he ever see any of them when they were back on Earth?
No, probable not.
Suddenly, a hand on John's shoulders made him jump. Turning around, he came face to face with Teyla.
They both loved the balcony, and often just sat together, watching the sunset, sunrise, or just wanting to be with each other. John found it oddly comfortable to be in the presence of Teyla. She seemed to calm his nerves after a hard day.
"John?"
It wasn't the first time she had called him by his first name.
"Yea, Teyla?" John asked gently, trying not to let his anger show. His grip on the railing loosened as he and Teyla sat down, facing the sea, not speaking. Finally, Teyla whispered something that John barely heard.
"I have heard of plans of leaving Atlantis," she said slowly, as if not sure it sounded right. John nodded, not wanting to speak for fear of shouting at Teyla. She continued, "Why?"
"We have orders," John replied simply.
"Where will my people go?"
"Home. Back to Athos. Or what is left of it." John took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he tried to calm his racing mind. "I don't want to go."
"Do you not have loved ones to return to?" Teyla asked, finally turning to face John. He shrugged.
"No, not really. Everyone I love is here." He looked her straight in the eyes as he said it. She shivered, but not from the cold. John piercing gaze cut through her as he seemed to see straight into her soul. She looked away, not willing to show John the tears that had begun to surface in her eyes.
"John ... I -" Teyla began speaking, but cut herself off, her voice choking up.
"Teyla, no matter how many people call it home, Earth is not where I belong. I belong here, in Atlantis, with you," John said, wrapping his arms around her. Teyla turned round in his arms, finally letting her emotions go. John held her tight as she collapsed in his arms; crying. "That's why I'm not going," John finished.
"But don't you have or - "
This time John cut her off.
"Orders or not, I can't leave you, Teyla," John said firmly.
"How?" Teyla asked. Her tears had stopped coming, but she didn't pull out of John's embrace.
"I don't know; I just can't go. I don't have anything for me on Earth, not even a house. I can refuse to go, and if that doesn't work, I'll run," John replied, sighing and laying his chin on Teyla's head. They stayed like that for some time, neither moving.
"Teyla?" John said softly, breaking the silence and pulling her from her thoughts.
"Yes?"
"You know I love you, right?" Though he said it causally, Teyla could tell he was nervous.
"Yes, and I love you, too," Teyla said, pulling back slightly.
"Teyla, will you marry me when we get settled somewhere?"
The question surprised Teyla, but she knew that she only had one answer.
"Yes."
John's face broke out in a huge smile and he pulled Teyla even closer to him.
A third figure watched from the door; how could she order him to leave? He really didn't have anything back on Earth, but he had everything here. He had found what he had been searching for, and now he was being ordered to leave. She knew that if tried to refuse, he would be hauled back through the gate and then court marshaled. And she couldn't let that happen.
Making up her mind, and knowing they couldn't court marshal her, she backed out of the doorway; she was going to do everything within her power to get him to stay.
She would send him home with the Athosains when they went back to Athos.
He would truly be going home.
Well, what'cha think? Hmm?
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