Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Growling.

xxxxxx

Shoot out at the Wedding Chapel!

By XYCF

xxxxxx

In the church…

Ron: "Oh no! Burbage is dead!"

Harry: "Forget that! Hedwig is dead!"

Hermione: "Screw both of you! Mad-Eye is dead!"

Ron: "Scrimgeour is the most important death!"

Harry: "Everyone forgets Dobby! He's dead!"

Hermione: "They all mean nothing! Voldemort killed Snape!"

Molly Weasely to Bellatrix Lestrange: "Not my daughter you bitch!"

Ron: "Fred gets killed! He wasn't meant for that!"

Harry: "But I come back to life! Happiness!"

Hermione: "You forget though: Tonks, Lupin, and Colin die! So Harry is a terrible friend!"

All: "Voldemort kills himself. Yah!"

Ron: "But he burned the Sorting Hat…"

19 years later at the train bound for Hogwarts….

Ron and Hermione's 2 children, Rose and Hugo, are running along. Harry and Ginny's 3 kids (Lily, James, and Albus Severus) chase after them.

Hermione: "Oh Ron, I'm so happy with you!"

Ron: "Me too, Hermione!"

Harry: "I'm glad I never married you, Hermione! You dumb bookworm! I'm so much more happy with Ginny here! She puts out every night! Right Ginny?"

Ginny: "Right, Harry!"

Ron: "Hey! That's my sister you're talking about!"

Ginny: "But he's my Sugar Daddy, Ron!"

Ron: "OK! Hey look over there! It's Draco with his son, Scorpius! And he's balding!"

Everyone laughs.

"The scar had not pained Harry for nineteen years. All was well."

THE END

xxxxx

A/N:

If you haven't already figured it out, you have just read what basically happens in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows! You might be in denial, thinking 'He gave us the false information. There are at least 2 supposed leaks out there!' Well, I'm not sorry to burst your bubble. This information is the real deal! I took it from the page-photos of the actual American-release of the book. And if that book was a fake, it had to be one heck of a fake! And I read the book too, it had relatively good writing, consistent with JK Growling's own, and not like the other supposed copies floating out there; those read like bad fanfiction (which isn't as hard to do as professionally binding a book). So this is mud in your eye, HP fandom. For the Harry & Hermione fans out there, you will eventually have to come to grips with reality: Harry & Ginny is canon. Bad boy Draco will be balding in the future. Hermione will marry ugly Ron! To a non-HP fan, this is priceless!