You don't remember me, but I remember you
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you
But who can decide what they dream
And dream I do
I sit up and throw my pillow. I can't sleep. All I can do is think about her. The day we found her on that planet was the happiest day of my life. Then everything shattered, my hope, and my heart, again. She didn't remember Rodney or Ronon, but most importantly she didn't remember me.
Ever since we brought her back to Atlantis I haven't been able to sleep. All the dreams I had of us being together, starting a family, have all gone down the drain. But that's not the worst part. Every time I do try to sleep I dream about something worse happening to her or never finding her. So I don't sleep, not because I don't want to, but because I can't.
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live, to breathe
You're taking over me
If there was something I could do, I would. I don't care what I would have to do or what the consequences might be. All that would matter is getting her back. But Carson says there's nothing we can do, nothing I can do. I don't believe him, I can't.
If I did I would be admitting defeat, giving up hope, and I can't do that. I need her. She gave my life meaning, a reason to keep on surviving. I mean I know that I'm needed to help defend Atlantis, but without her I may as well be dead.
Have you forgotten all I know
And all we had
I decide to go for a walk, so I get dressed and leave my room. I have no destination, I'm just walking. I end up on the balcony where she told me she loved me.
We had been standing out here in silence. Then she turned to me and said something about breaking tradition. I asked her what she meant, but she didn't answer me with words, she kissed me. Then she whispered the three little words I had been dieing to hear. At first I couldn't speak, heck I couldn't even breathe. Somehow, I managed to tell her that I loved her too.
In the following months I was the happiest I had ever been in my entire life. We had kept our relationship a secret, knowing that it wasn't exactly appropriate. Then she was taken. I still don't know who or what took her, but up until a couple days ago she had been missing for two months.
But she doesn't remember, so it almost seems like we never found her. Carson said that it seemed like she was making progress, but I couldn't hold on any longer. I don't even notice the tears as I finally let go of my hope.
You saw me mourning my love for you
And touched my hand
I knew you loved me then
I jump slightly when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up and there she is kneeling in front of me. I don't even remember sitting down.
"John," she says quietly as she takes my hand.
I look up into her eyes and I feel new tears start to fall, but these are not sad tears.
"You remember?" It was barely a whisper, but she heard me.
She just nods and smiles. I wrap my arms around her and I don't plan on letting go anytime soon.