Summary: In this story, Lucas finds out about Dan being his father after nearly fourteen years when his mother dies in a car accident, that leaves Lucas injured as well. Lucas pushes everyone away and sinks into depression. His therapists aren't helping him in the least and a dangerous addiction may be the death of Lucas.
Author's Note: Even though this story is under Lucas Scott 22 3, it is co written by Stormstar.
Chapter 1
The sun was setting over the waves that crashed into the white sand as fourteen-year-old Lucas Scott and his mother, Karen Roe, made their way up the beach to the parking lot. It had been a long, exhausting day, but it had its good perks. Lucas and Karen made peace in a huge argument they had had and they had spent some quality time together, something they hadn't had done in over three years.
Lucas was quiet as Karen pulled out of the parking lot and on to the highway. He stared broodingly out the window and at the darkening sky. Bright stars began to twinkle as dusk disappeared being replaced by an endless night.
Karen glanced at Lucas for a brief second, before pulling the car off the highway and onto one of the many roads of Tree Hill, North Carolina. She let her son just be quiet and brooding until the next traffic light, where she reached over and took his hand in hers.
"Are you all right, Lucas?" Karen asked quietly. Lucas pulled his hand away from hers, and then turned to face her. His blue eyes were bright and cheerful, but they also held the brooding look that he had given her so often before.
"Yeah, mom, everything's fine," Lucas said, leaning his head against the car window. Karen smiled and looked back to the road. The light had turned green while they were talking.
As Karen pressed the gas pedal down to the floor, two things happened simultaneously. A large eighteen-wheeler ran a red light from one direction, and a drunken driver swerved out of his lane from across the double yellow line.
The three cars met in the middle of the intersection. Lucas let out a yell as he saw the dark blue car swerve and Karen swerved to the right to avoid it. But the drunk driver seemed to see a target on the hood of Karen's car and slammed into it, just as the eighteen-wheeler slammed into the driver's side of the car.
Lucas was slammed up against the door of the passenger's seat when the drunk driver hit the car. The eighteen-wheeler flipped the car onto its side. The last thing Lucas saw before he passed out was his mother, covered in blood.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Lucas was surrounded by darkness, like an animal enclosed in a small cage. He tried to fight it, but every time he managed to get free of the darkness, something new pulled him back into it. He was drowning in a pool of blackness and nothing could save him. Beep. Beep. Beep.The beeping began to get on his nerves. Lucas tried once more to get out of the darkness enclosing him, and this time he succeeded.
A pair of doe-like brown eyes swam into view above him, followed by a happy screech. He felt arms wrap around him and someone saying something in the background. Then the arms were gone and so were the voices.
Lucas was in a hospital room, with tons of needles and wires poking him. The beeping that had annoyed him turned out to be a heart monitor. A wire was wrapped around his face, helping him to breathe.
The eyes belonged to his best friend, Haley James. As Lucas's vision cleared, he was able to see her face in more detail. She had been crying, that was obvious, and she looked sad and grief-stricken, despite the happiness she so obviously felt. Lucas felt strangely guilty for being able to read his friend so clearly.
"Hales?" he managed to croak. His throat felt like it was on fire and talking was an effort for him.
"Luke!" Haley said, wrapping her arms around him in a hug again. Lucas winced as she touched his right arm and nearly yelled in pain.
"Water," Lucas croaked, spotting the cup on the bedside table. He couldn't reach it; he had lost all feeling in his arms for the present.
"Oh, sorry!" Haley said, wiping the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. She grabbed the small paper cup and tipped it into his mouth. Lucas closed his eyes and drank thirstily. As he did, the memory of the car crash came back to him.
"How long have I been out?" Lucas said, in a stronger voice than before. The water had helped his throat, but it brought out a pounding ache in his head and right shoulder.
"Two weeks," Haley whispered. Lucas barely heard her and stared at her in surprise.
"How's my mom?" he asked, dreading the answer. The last time he had seen her, she didn't look well.
Haley didn't answer, and instead looked downcast at his sheets. Tears were forming in her eyes again. Lucas repeated his question.
"I'm so sorry, Luke," Haley whispered, the tears starting to stream down her face again. "The paramedics couldn't save her. She was dead before they reached her."
"No!" Lucas said, feeling his head pound even more. "You're lying to me. Haley, why are you lying?"
"I'm not lying, Lucas," Haley protested, pulling away from him. Lucas felt bad for making her even more upset, but he didn't understand why she would lie about something this important.
"Leave, Haley," Lucas snapped, as Haley repositioned herself in the chair beside his bed. "And don't come back!"
"Lucas," Haley protested weakly. Lucas turned closed his eyes, feeling something inside him snap. When he opened his eyes again, Haley was frightened of the angry look she saw in their blue depths.
"Leave, Hales," Lucas said, so coldly that Haley visibly shivered. She got up, tears streaming down her face and ran from the room, leaving Lucas alone with his thoughts.
Lucas couldn't believe that Haley would lie to him like that. He didn't understand it; Haley never lied, especially not to him.
Ah, said a voice inside his head. But what if she's not lying?
"My mom isn't dead," Lucas said, though not as firmly as he liked. Somewhere, deep inside his mind and his heart, Lucas knew that Karen was dead.
The next couple of weeks were torture for Lucas. The doctors came in and poked and prodded him with needles, asked him how he was, and wrote down things on their clipboards. Haley seemed to have taken Lucas's last words to her to heart and stayed away from the hospital.
Lucas, on the other hand, was breaking down mentally. The doctors were obviously trying to keep his spirits up by telling him that in a week he would be discharged from the hospital to go live with his father that he never knew he had. If anything, that made Lucas feel ten times worse, because going to live with this stranger would mean that he would be accepting the fact that he lost the one person he loved more than anyone or anything. Lucas wasn't sure if he was ready to accept it yet.
Over those same two weeks, Lucas became surly and refused to talk to anyone, friend or foe. Every time he was alone, Lucas would cry over his lost mother. The doctors and nurses heard him crying, but they could do very little to comfort him. None of the doctors or nurses had ever lost so much as a pet before, and they found it hard to imagine losing a loved one.
Lucas tried to think of the happy memories with his mom, but it hurt too much. Every time he thought about something, such as his fifth birthday party, he either broke down in tears or broke something. After remembering a happy memory, Lucas would always remember the fights Karen and he had. The last one was the worst, by far, in Lucas's mind.
They had fought over Lucas's father, the father he would be going to live with in a week's time. Lucas had gotten the chance to learn the name of his father, and half-brother, but his mother had took him home before the stranger who said that he would him got the chance to. Lucas and Karen fought for hours, before Lucas had ran away to Haley's house and spent the night there.
The following morning had been the dawn of the accident. If Lucas had known that on that day he would lose his mother forever, then he never would have left Haley's house. Actually, he told himself on the day before his discharge, he never would have fought with his mother in the first place if it meant that they wouldn't have gone to the beach that day and there had been no fatal car accident on the way home.
A strange man knocked on the door to Lucas's room. It was the day before Lucas's discharge. Lucas recognized him at once as Nathan Scott's father, Dan Scott. Dan Scott owned Scott Motors and was the richest man in town. Nathan Scott was a teenaged jerk that went to Lucas's high school and enjoyed torturing him.
"Lucas," Dan said, staring at the blonde boy with an absolute loathing look in his eyes. But there was something else hidden in the blue gaze, something that Lucas recognized at once. Pity. Lucas was sick of everyone's pity. He just wanted to be left alone and cry over his lost mother.
"Dan," Lucas said, not even bothering to hide the contempt in his voice. "What does the richest man in all of Tree Hill want with the poor, lonely, fatherless son of Karen Roe?"
"You are not fatherless," Dan said, glaring at the kid who was stupid enough to be sarcastic with him. Then he was angry with Karen Roe for not telling her son the truth about him.
"Yeah, I am," Lucas retorted. "Regardless of what the doctors say, I have no father to come and take me to their house on the other side of Tree Hill."
"That's where you're wrong," Dan said, actually admiring the kid for his boldness and sarcasm. Dan saw a lot of himself in Lucas, which was proof that this brooding blonde haired kid was indeed his son.
"Unless you're my father, which I highly doubt," Lucas said, glaring at Dan. Dan glared back, trying to find a weak point in this kid's defensive shell.
"That's it," Dan said, spotting the weakness at once. Lucas, no matter how defensive he got or how much he denied it, wanted a father. And since Dan was his biological parent, he would use this against the teen.
"You've got to be kidding me," Lucas said, in a flat tone. "This is some twisted nightmare. My mom dies and leaves me with a sick bastard who enjoys living through his son that he didn't abandon. Yeah right. You must think I am an idiot."
"You're right, I do," Dan said, instantly deciding to tear down this kid. "And since you're that big of an idiot, you can believe that you're going to live with me and Nathan and Deb."
"No way in hell am I living with you," Lucas said, getting riled up at once. He winced as he tried to move his arm to prop himself up.
"You don't have a choice," Dan said. "I am your biological parent weather you like it or not and you're going to come to live with Nathan, Deb, and me whether you like it or not. Now get your scrawny ass out of bed and walk out that door."
"I can't," Lucas said, stubbornly. "I shattered my ankle in the car accident. I'm not supposed to walk on it for two months."
"You are going to do what you're told, and no back talking," Dan said, not believing a word this kid said.
"I'm sorry sir, but this kid is telling the truth," a doctor said from behind them. He had heard the whole exchange and instantly felt guilty for ever contacting the boy's father, when it was obvious they both hated each other.
"Then get me a damn wheelchair," Dan Scott shouted at the doctor. Lucas paled considerably as he saw what he would be going to live with and wished once again that he had never got into the fight with his mother that resulted with them on the beach and the car accident.
Dan and Lucas were silent as the doctors put Lucas into the awaiting car Dan had brought. Lucas had never felt so helpless in his life, and knew that he was making a horrible first impression on his father. But, Lucas thought as the doctors slammed the door shut. Considering his other son, do you really want to get close to this man?
Then, as they always did, Lucas's thoughts turned to his mother. He felt his heart throb painfully as he thought about the way she would have taken care of him if she had lived.
"Why couldn't I have died instead of her?" Lucas murmured to himself. Dan had gotten into the car at this moment and heard that. He felt a pang of pity for the kid once again, who so obviously blamed himself for his mother's death. Dan tried to think of something to say to help the kid out.
"Look, Lucas," Dan began, but Lucas nastily cut him off.
"Just leave me the hell alone," he snapped, staring out the window. Tears slid down his face as he remembered his mother's laugh and how she would probably be teasing him at this moment if the car accident hadn't happened, which it wouldn't have, Lucas reflected, if I hadn't argued with her about the son of a bitch who is sitting right next to me.
"Why did you even bother?" Lucas asked. They had been driving in silence for a while, and Dan started at the question. It was totally unexpected.
"What do you mean?" Dan asked cautiously. He wasn't sure what Lucas meant and he didn't want his son to blow up either. His son, Dan thought. I like the sound of that.
"You know what I mean," Lucas spat angrily. "Why didn't you just send say no and send me to a foster home instead? It wouldn't be the first time you abandoned me."
It was the second time in less than half an hour Lucas made reference to him being abandoned. Damn, this kid is smart, Dan thought. He already figured out half the story. It's no wonder Nathan hates him so much; if I were Nathan I would hate Lucas too for being an insufferable know-it-all.
"I didn't abandon you," Dan said, thinking quickly. If he could lie just enough and make Lucas calm down, then he would get the kid some therapy and possibly depression medication for what he was going through right now certainly wasn't cheerful.
"Right," Lucas scoffed wincing again as he moved his shoulder. "So you just left without so much as a word to my mom for college and then three months later return with a pregnant wife? That sounds like abandoning someone to me."
"Who asked you?" Dan snarled, getting fed up with this kid instantly.
"I am asking you," Lucas snapped back. They had arrived at the Scott mansion. Dan didn't think he had ever been so happy in his life to see his house as he was at that second. Lucas would probably forget about this conversation when he settled into his new room.
"Do you need help getting out?" Dan asked, trying to sound fatherly. IT didn't work. Lucas gave him a look of utmost contempt and managed to pull himself from the car with his left arm. He leaned against the car and sighed, closing his eyes. Then Lucas managed to limp forward a couple steps before stumbling and falling flat on his butt.
Dan tried his hardest not to laugh, but it was taxing. He pulled Lucas's wheelchair out of the back of the car while Lucas managed to get himself upright using only his left hand.
Man, this kid's got spirit and determination, Dan thought as he watched Lucas struggle to limp forward a few more steps. He obviously didn't want any help from anyone, which was exactly like the Lucas Nathan had described countless of times before.
Lucas reached the steps and sat down heavily on them. He looked exhausted from the effort it took to walk ten feet from the driveway to the stairs. Even though he was tired, Lucas still refused the helping hand Dan offered to him. Instead of taking Dan's hand, Lucas asked him a question.
"Does Nathan know that I'm his half-brother?" Lucas blurted out. The question had been on the tip of his tongue ever since the hospital.
"Yes," Dan said. "As did Deb and Whitey and half the town."
"Why didn't anyone tell me?" Lucas asked, mostly to himself. "I have more right to know than Whitey or anyone in the town."
"Are you going to stay out there talking to yourself all afternoon or are you going to come inside?" an agitated female voice yelled from the front door. She came outside and blanched in surprise as she saw Lucas sitting on the front steps, with Dan standing over him, looking stormy.
"I'll help him inside," she said to Dan. Dan looked at Lucas, who seemed so lost in thought a bomb could probably go off at his feet and he probably wouldn't even notice. He made no sign that he had heard Deb or Dan.
"Lucas won't take your help," Dan said, still glaring at his illegitimate son. "I've asked him four times if he wanted mine."
"Can you blame him?" Deb asked, exasperatedly. "Go inside and take the last of Lucas's things up to his room. They're by the TV. Have Nathan help you, if he'll ever get off the basketball court."
"It's good that Nathan's there," Dan protested. "It will help secure him a scholarship."
"Just go!" Deb snapped, making Dan jump in surprise at the angry look she gave him. Instead of retorting, he went inside obediently. Deb sat down next to Lucas, who was still staring gloomily at the front lawn. "Lucas?"
As Deb touched his right shoulder, Lucas slipped away from her so fast, that he nearly tumbled down the steps.
"Just go," was all Lucas said. Deb saw the tears in his eyes, threatening to fall again. Then she saw the sling his right arm was in and remembered Dan telling her that aside from shattering his ankle, he had separated his shoulder.
"Lucas, I'm trying to help you," Deb said, feeling saddened that the boy refused to let her help. "Please, let me."
"I'm sorry," Lucas said, looking at Deb for the first time. "I don't want your pity or your help, so if that's what you want to give or do, just leave me alone."
"You can't sit out here all day," Deb pointed out. It was a crisp, cool wintry day. "You'll freeze."
For some reason, this made Lucas cry. The tears started streaming down his face again and he ducked his head away from Deb.
"Just leave me alone," he said, though his voice was muffled. "I'll be fine."
"Come on," Deb said, getting exasperated with the kid. "I'll leave you alone once I take you to your room. Is that all right with you."
"I guess," Lucas mumbled. He allowed Deb to help him to his feet and to the wheelchair Dan conveniently left outside. Lucas's face turned dark red with embarrassment as Deb pushed his wheelchair up the wooden board she had put over the stairs earlier for Lucas and into his room.
It looked exactly the way it did in Karen's house, even with a back door and a painting of the river court on one side. Lucas felt the familiar tears burn at his eyes as he saw a picture of Karen sitting on the nightstand next to his bed.
Deb left him alone as soon as he was sprawled on his bed. Lucas felt grateful for the time alone, but also upset. Coming here, into his room, just meant that he would never return to his former home, and was just another reminder that he had lost his mother.
Nathan came up the stairs and onto the second floor landing an hour later. He tried to open the closed door on the landing, but found it locked. Angered by this, Nathan pounded on the door, which had been recently repainted a dark green.
"Nathan!" Deb said, coming down the stairs. She sounded angry. "Leave Lucas alone. This is his room now."
"Oh," Nathan said, feeling stupid. He had forgotten that his half brother was coming to live with them. He heard music playing from inside the room, familiar and freakishly so.
"I'm going to make dinner," Deb continued. "Do you have any idea of what Lucas might want?"
"No," Nathan said, recognizing one of the songs as one of Peyton's favorites. "Why don't you go ask him?"
"He's probably asleep," Deb reasoned with him. "After all, according to the doctors, Lucas never slept at the hospital. They had to sedate him some nights just to get him to stop crying."
"What a wimp," Nathan said, glaring at the door.
"He just lost his mother!" Deb said, sounding fierce. It frightened Nathan, and also made him feel dumb yet again. He kept forgetting important things like that.
"Should I?" Nathan said, gesturing to the door. He wasn't sure if he should go talk to Lucas or just ignore him. He prayed for the latter.
"One of his friends is coming by later," Deb said. "I think you should just leave him alone for now. I don't want him to be wiped out."
Nathan waited until his mother continued down the stairs before knocking softly on the door.
"Go away!" Nathan heard a faint voice yell. It was obvious that Lucas had been crying, by the way his voice cracked.
"Let me in, Lucas," Nathan said, waiting for a reply or some sign of movement.
"Go away!" Lucas repeated, his voice stronger this time. Nathan refused to go away.
"Move please," a soft voice said from beside Nathan. He looked down to see a tearful reddish brunette beside him. "I'm Haley James, Lucas's best friend."
"Nathan Scott," Nathan said, feeling lost as the girl turned her doe-eyes up at him.
"I know," Haley said. "Can you please move?"
"Oh, right," he said, absently. "Lucas won't talk to you."
"Luke, open up!" Haley shouted, banging on the door loudly. "I know you're in there! I'm counting to three and then I'm going to have Nathan break down the door!"
"For god's sake, can you leave Lucas alone?" Deb half-yelled storming back up the stairs. "Oh, you must be Haley."
"Yeah, I am," she said, glaring at Deb. Deb stared shocked back. "Can I go in?"
"Sure," Deb said. "If he'll let you."
The three of them waited, all of them on edge, for Lucas's reply. The faint music was being turned off and a faint curse was heard from right outside the door.
"Haley," Lucas said, surprised as he opened the door and poked his head out. His eyes were red and puffy, from crying, but he was obviously glad to see his friend.
"Can I come in?" Haley asked, relaxing slightly as she saw her friend. Lucas nodded, opening the door wider to admit Haley. As soon as she was in though, he glared at Nathan.
"Go away, Nathan," he said, his voice noticeably icier as he saw his half-brother. Before Nathan could reply, Lucas had slammed the door shut and locked it.
"What am I going to do, mom?" Nathan asked quietly, not wanting Lucas to overhear him.
"Just give him time," Deb said. "He's dealing with a lot right now. He'll come around."
"Provided dad doesn't kill him," Nathan whispered darkly. Deb didn't say anything, though she privately agreed.
Behind the closed door, Lucas turned his music back on as Haley settled onto his bed. Lucas winced as he limped over to his bed and sat down next to her.
Instantly, Lucas drew Haley into a one-armed hug and held her tightly as she cried heavily. Then, ten minutes later, she was wiping the tears from her eyes and staring at him with a watery, somewhat frightened expression on her face.
"I'm sorry, Haley," Lucas blurted out, seeing the reproachful look she was giving him. "I didn't mean it that way. I would have told you sooner, but you never came back to the hospital."
"You asked me not to," Haley pointed out.
"Since when as that ever stopped you from visiting me?" Lucas asked, obviously trying to sound cheerful. It didn't come out very well.
"I'm sorry Lucas!" Haley cried. "I never meant to hurt you." Lucas's expression darkened and Haley instantly regretted saying anything.
"Get out," Lucas said. The old Lucas seemed to have disappeared and in return, the Lucas she had seen at the hospital was back. The one who didn't want Haley as a friend anymore, the one that was untrusting.
"Lucas, please!" Haley was in tears. "Don't do this! I want to help you!"
"I don't want your help, or anyone else's!" Lucas was shouting now. "Why can't anyone get that? I don't need or want anyone's help! Just leave me the hell alone, Haley, and anyone else who is listening, LEAVE ME ALONE!"
"Why Luke?" Haley asked quietly. "Why won't you let me help you? Or anyone else for that matter?"
"I'm not doing this for me, I'm doing it for you," Lucas whispered. Haley was surprised at the sudden change of emotion. He had gone from angry and threatening to guilty and vulnerable in less than five seconds.
"What do you mean, Luke?" Haley asked, confused by the statement. "Why are you pushing everyone away?"
"Because it's my fault that my mother died and I don't want anyone else in the position where I can hurt them like that," Lucas said. He looked down at his knees. "Leave, Haley, before I hurt you too."
"Lucas," Haley said softly. She put her hand on his knee.
"Don't, Hales," Lucas said, using the nickname he knew would get him anything. "Leave now."
Haley had no choice but to leave, and as she walked down the stairs, she heard things being thrown around in the room she had just left.