Title:

Two's Company

Author: FoxandtheHound (BelieveIt)

Rating: M

Pairing: KakuHida, Hints at HidaDei, PeinKonan in the background

Warning: Profanity (Hidan), adult behaviour

Disclaimer: Do not own.

Summary: One-Shot. Pein makes the mistake of sending Hidan and Deidara for supplies.

Author's Note: Just a reminder that FoxandtheHound is made up of TWO writers. This is Part One in a four-story series. Two's Company was written by BelieveIt.

Two's Company

"Katsu!" Deidara yelled with a huge grin, as clay exploded right in front of him. From somewhere across the room, Sasori lifted bored eyes and glared at the blonde for making such a racket when he was trying to work. Deidara looked over at Sasori, giggling childishly. Deidara went into his bag to get more clay, when Zetsu appeared into the room. Deidara looked questioningly at him.

"Pein wants you." Zetsu murmured. "Have you been naughty, Deidara-kun?" Deidara walked up to Zetsu, swinging his hips seductively. Deidara wrapped his arms around Zetsu's waist.

"Maybe I have un. Wouldn't you like to see how naughty I can be? Anyway un, I'm off to see Pein-Sama. See you Zetsu-Koi. Un." With a flick of his hair, Deidara turned and left the room, hips still swinging. He glanced over his shoulder at Zetsu and winked, and then he was gone.

Hidan watched Kakuzu longingly from where he was lying on the single bed they shared. Kakuzu, always the cheap, workaholic bastard was working away on his calculator. Hidan and Kakuzu had a set allocated time for their mutual pleasure. This was Kakuzu's idea of course. If Hidan had his way they would be going at it all day and night.

"Kakuzu… Can we start yet?" Hidan whined. "I'm horny as fuck here."

"No." Kakuzu bluntly replied. "You still have another hour yet." Hidan flung himself over onto his back with a frustrated sigh.

"Fuck sake." As Hidan was sulking to himself, Zetsu emerged through the ceiling, directly over the single bed where Hidan's head lay. "FUCK!" Hidan jerked away, startled and promptly fell off the bed. "What the fuck did you do that for, BENKE?"

"Stop messing around Hidan. Pein wants you." Zetsu informed. Hidan looked at the clock on the opposite wall, discovering he had another 50 minutes to wait for Kakuzu. He didn't want to be late.

"Fuck that, Leader-bitch can wait. I have a fucking appointment to keep." Hidan crossed his arms defiantly. Zetsu tilted his head and looked at Hidan quizzically. Hidan turned his head away from Zetsu's gaze with a little 'hmph.' Zetsu disappeared from the ceiling and Hidan grinned triumphantly thinking he'd won. Suddenly he felt his hair being grabbed. He yelled in surprise and pain. "Ow! You fucking bastard. Let go! Kuzu! Get him off me."

"No." Kakuzu responded, glancing over his shoulder to look at Hidan being dragged off before resuming his work. "Don't be late. You know what you'll be missing out on."

"Let me go! Bastard! My appointment! Fuck! Let me fucking wait for my appointment!" Hidan wailed loudly, trying unsuccessfully to prise Zetsu's hand off his hair. "Let go of my fucking hair! KAKUZU!" Kakuzu ignored him until Hidan's voice faded off down the hall. Zetsu dragged Hidan, who was in his boxers, all through the Akatsuki base. As Zetsu was dragging a kicking and screaming Hidan all the rest of the Akatsuki members, minus a few, came out of their rooms to see what the commotion was about. Upon seeing it was Hidan having a tantrum, they went back into their rooms, knowing that it was a regular occurrence. When they got to Pein's office Zetsu shoved Hidan into the room and disappeared through the floor. Hidan cursed at the closed door.

"Nice of you to join us, Hidan" Pein's voice echoed in the small office. Hidan stopped cursing the door and looked at Pein, noticing Konan and Deidara were in the room as well.

"Can we make this quick, Leader-bitch? I have an appointment to fucking keep." Hidan arrogantly replied. Konan put a hand gently on Pein's shoulder and glared at Hidan. Pein reached for the hand on his shoulder and squeezed it gently in reassurance.

"You shouldn't be so rude Hidan." Konan reprimanded.

"It seems we have run out of supplies. I need you to collect more." Pein handed Hidan a roll of notes, knowing there's a possibility that if he handed them to Deidara, they may get eaten. "Here's the money. Do not spend it all. I want change." Hidan looked at the notes now in his hand and scowled.

"Why can't you just send Deidara? I've told you I'm fucking busy. I don't have time to be your bloody errand boy." Hidan continued to whine. He definitely did not want to miss his allocated fuck. He knew that if he were to be even a minute late, he wouldn't get any until the next allocated time.

"I cannot send just Deidara. He cannot carry all the supplies by himself and before you ask, everyone else is busy so they cannot come with him to help. That leaves you to help. You will do this Hidan. If you do not I will take that as a direct refusal of my request, and I will suspend you from missions for one month. Now, what time is your 'appointment'?" Pein realised Hidan was beginning to try and walk over him. He couldn't have that. If Hidan did that, everyone else may do the same. It would cause havoc within the base. Hidan stared at Pein in shock. He had never; ever threaten to suspend him from missions. Hidan knew he had gone too far. Not that he cared much.

"… Six o'clock." Hidan answered grudgingly.

"Well it's half five now, you have half an hour to get the supplies and get back. If you had agreed when I first told you, you would have another 20 minutes to get the supplies. You're going to need to hurry along now Hidan. If you want to make your appointment that is." Hidan's eyes widened in realisation that he wasn't going to get out of this. He grabbed Deidara's arm and ran at full speed out of the room and base.

"I look fucking ridiculous." Hidan complained. Since he ran out of the base in just his boxers, Deidara kindly offered him his Akatsuki cloak. The Akatsuki cloak being at least one size too small, it came up to his mid thigh in length and mid forearm in the sleeves. Hidan had it zipped up until his stomach was covered. He looked down at himself again. "I look like a fucking ridiculous hooker." Deidara looked him up and down, appreciating the skin revealed. Deidara mentally agreed that he did look a bit silly.

"Well it's better than walking around the shops in your boxers un." Deidara said grinning. "You might've gotten arrested un. Indecency is a crime. It's not an excuse if you don't like clothes." Deidara walked ahead of Hidan collecting the supplies and putting them in the trolley they had. Deidara walked back to Hidan and dragged him along to the aisle they needed next.

"Your tongues are licking me again Deidara." Hidan looked down at where Deidara's hand rested on his arm, the tongues on the palm of Deidara's hand continuously tasting his skin in quick repetitive licks. It was something that over time Hidan had gotten used to.

"You like it un." Deidara replied cheekily, grinning up at Hidan's face. "I could lick other places if you'd rather un." Deidara giggled turning his gaze to look suggestively at Hidan's groin.

"You fucking know it. After my fucking with 'Kuzu though okay?" At the mention of his 'appointment' Hidan checked the time in the store and noticed that he had 15 minutes left to get back to Kakuzu. "Fuck! Deidara, hurry the fuck up. I'm going to be late. If I'm late Deidara-Chan I'm going to fucking cut you." Hidan quickly looked at the list and ran to the items, dumping a load into the trolley before rushing off to the next item.

"Oi! Temper, temper Hidan. Rip of the half the list un. We'll meet at check out, that quick enough for you?" Deidara called out to Hidan, running to catch up. Once he got his half of the list he set off to retrieve his items. While getting the items he noticed in one of the aisles rows of condoms. He looked at them thoughtfully for a second before grabbing as many as he could. Deidara finished getting the items and found Hidan already went for him by the checkout. "See, un? Still have 10 minutes to spare."

"Yeah, yeah let's just fucking pay for this shit." Hidan yanked the items from Deidara and started scanning the items into the self service checkout. As he was scanning the items, he noticed the condoms. "What the fuck are these Deidara?" Deidara looked at Hidan with an innocent expression, before grinning from ear to ear.

"Condoms. Thought we might need them later un." Hidan chuckled and scanned them in. "Hida-koi? Will you ever tell Kakuzu about us?"

"Yeah, yeah, after we fuck I'll tell him." Hidan paid for the goods and snatched up the ¥50 change. Hidan ran out of the store without even looking if Deidara was following him. "Oi, Hidan! Wait up! Hiddaann!" Deidara struggled to catch up. When he finally got back into the Akatsuki base he noticed that the supplies were dumped in the entrance where Hidan must have dropped them as soon as he walked in. Deidara took the condoms and went up to his room, leaving the rest of the supplies inside the entrance.

Meanwhile Kakuzu was still doing calculations when Hidan crashed through the door. Kakuzu looked up at Hidan before checking the time. 5:57.

"You're three minutes early. Wait until 6 you overeager moron." Kakuzu said in his usual monotone voice.

"Nani? I rushed my ass back here for our allocated fuck and you tell me I'm early! Please Kakuzu. Forget the three minutes. Fuck, just change your time three minutes faster. 'Kuzu… Please." Hidan whined pathetically, giving Kakuzu his version of the 'puppy dog eyes' which looked like he wanted to kill someone more than anything else.

"No. Two Minutes." Kakuzu went back to calculating and jotting figures onto his notepad. Hidan huffed, annoyed and continued sulking. Exactly two minutes later Kakuzu put down his pen, turned off his calculator and put them away. "Okay Hidan. Come here." Kakuzu swivelled his chair so he was now facing Hidan, who was now enthusiastically rushing over to sit on his lovers lap. He smirked down at Kakuzu and bent down to nip at Kakuzu's neck. Kakuzu grabbed Hidan's hair and yanked him up till Hidan was looking him in the eye. "Remember Hidan-kun. You bite me; I'll bite twice as hard." Hidan positively purred before leaning down again and biting Kakuzu three times as hard as he previously nipped. Kakuzu grunted slightly at the pain.

"So how hard you gunna fucking bite me now 'Kuzu?" Hidan taunted, knowing full well blood would now be drawn. Hidan was not disappointed. Kakuzu forced Hidan head back with his threads and bites hard at his throat, enough that blood immediately welled up and began dripping down. Hidan groaned in pleasure. "Enough fucking foreplay, fuck me." Hidan proceeded to get Kakuzu out of his clothes. He would tear them off, but he knew that Kakuzu would punish him by cancelling an allocated fuck.

Once Kakuzu's clothes were off, Hidan shed Deidara's cloak and his boxers. Hidan looked around the room at the bed, the desk, the wall to finally where Kakuzu was still sitting on the chair.

"'Kuzu, where should we do it this time? I'm spoilt for choice." Hidan lifted his fingers to his mouth coyly, running his fingertips teasingly across his lower lip.

"You're wasting time Hidan. We don't have that long." Kakuzu was not about to spend this time talking about where to have sex. He was going to spend this time having it.

"Tch, you're no fucking fun 'Kuzu, fine. I'll have to choose then." Hidan did a quick scan of the room again before settling his gaze on the bed. He grinned at Kakuzu before sauntering over to the bed. With a look over his shoulder at Kakuzu he got onto the bed, laid down on his back and spread his legs slowly. "Well 'Kuzu, going to claim your prize?" Hidan hungrily watched Kakuzu walk over and kneel on the bed. Crawling between Hidan's legs. Hidan suddenly felt some of Kakuzu's threads probing into his entrance. They roughly and quickly prepared him before withdrawing. The threads were quickly replaced by Kakuzu's large cock. With one hard thrust Kakuzu was in. Hidan groaned in pleasure as Kakuzu began fucking him. "That all you got? Fu-uck, I could get fucking Deidara, the biggest fucking uke, to fu-uck, me harder than you." Kakuzu glared at him and began to thrust harder.

Hidan moaned louder, wrapping his arms around Kakuzu's back, digging his nails in sharply. Kakuzu thrust his threads into Hidan's moaning mouth and down his throat. Hidan glared slightly in protest but otherwise didn't complain.

"You're making too much noise." Was all Kakuzu gave in way of explanation not faltering in his hard thrusts. Soon the noises Hidan was making in his throat stopped and Kakuzu removed the threads.

All too soon Hidan was ready to orgasm. Kakuzu knew how to hit all the right spots within him. There was just one thing missing. Pain.

"Kakuzu… Hurt me." Hidan tilted his head back and dropped his arms from Kakuzu's back, pulling them above his head to clutch at the headboard. He stared at his lover expectantly. Kakuzu didn't disappoint.

Kakuzu dipped his head down and bit down on Hidan's shoulder. At the same time he gripped at Hidan's sides, digging in hard enough to create little blood filled crescent moons. Hidan screamed in pleasure while his lover bit down harder on his shoulder. Hidan felt blood coming out of his shoulder and that was it. The orgasm crashed over Hidan, throwing his head back in a loud scream of release. As Hidan was in mid orgasm, Kakuzu began to climax, groaning low in the back of his throat while Hidan's flesh was still between his teeth. When they were both satisfied Kakuzu pulled out and laid down on his side, pulling Hidan close for a small hug.

While they recovered Zetsu appeared from the floor. He noted their state of undress and decided not to comment. He'd known they were lovers a long time ago. He also knew all about what their 'allocated times' were, and had wanted to spy on it on more than one occasion.

"Kakuzu, Hidan. Pein wants you both. He says it's urgent, better not keep him waiting." With that Zetsu left, knowing Kakuzu would get them up and in Pein's room as quick as he possibly could.

As soon as Zetsu left Kakuzu got up and started to get dressed while Hidan sulked on the bed, muttering profanities.

"Hidan don't make me get you up. You wont like it." Kakuzu was already dressed and standing impatiently by the bed.

"Oh fucking fine. I'm getting up. Stupid Leader-bitch, disturbing my 'Kuzu time. Damn it." Hidan got up begrudgingly and slowly started getting dressed. When he was ready he and Kakuzu left the room together to Pein's office.

Meanwhile Deidara was on his bed daydreaming meaninglessly, he was incredibly bored, and actually quite lonely. Everyone thought that he and Sasori were a couple or at least fuck buddies. But the fact was they weren't. The majority of the time Deidara relieved his sexual frustration by himself. Yes occasionally Hidan happily helped him up, but Deidara knew that he loved Kakuzu, even if Hidan himself wouldn't admit it.

Zetsu appeared before him. Deidara jolted a little, startled but then looked expectantly at him.

"Pein wants you again. It's urgent. Don't keep him waiting okay Dei-Chan?" Zetsu left as quickly as he appeared.

Deidara sighed. Here we go again. He got up slowly and made his way to Pein's office.

Upon arriving he noticed that Hidan and Kakuzu were in the office with Pein. He cautiously walked into the room, confused of why he was in there with them.

"Now that you're all here let's get started. You three are going on a mission together. Deidara your old acquaintance, Shingai Mato, is causing problems for us. He also has a bounty on his head. Your mission is to go there and make contact with him, Deidara that's your job. You will all get there by Deidara's clay birds and you will make the initial contact. Lead him into a false sense of security. Hidan you are to kill him. Kakuzu you know what you're doing. I want you to go as soon as possible, so in other words. Now."

They all nodded and left the room.

"I'll get the supplies we need." Kakuzu said, already walking away.

"Kakuzu-Chan! Can you get my cloak out of your room too un?" Deidara called after him, going into his room to get a little something. The condoms. He stuffed them into his trouser pockets. When he got back to the meeting point he saw that Hidan and Kakuzu were already there waiting.

"Let's go." They all left, ready to start the mission ahead of them.

Authors Note: Well this is Story 1 out of 4 ^_^ Hope you liked it. Our 2nd story is called Three's a Crowd so look out for it! This one is done by BelieveIt. We look forward to your reviews ^_^ Thanks for reading =D

FoxandtheHound

BelieveIt