Hey after all the amazing reviews I had from the first version of this, I received a lot of feedback from it and suggestions as to what I could alter. So...I began editing scenes of the original script to improve it. So its pretty much the same basic storyline but with massive alterations...if that makes sense. Any comments would be amazingly appreciated because I really wanna get better at what I do so I want to know if my editing has worked so yeah. Please keep reading, I have altered the story.
Thanks again
The Slush Master.
Scene 1
Victorian Era-manor house. Scene in a Children's Nursery. PAN across room slowly. During pan, a woman's voice can be heard. She's reading her children a bedtime story so the room should be dimly lit.
MARY: And so the Doctor flew off in his magical blue box, the world safe once more.
At the end of story, the pan ends up on the woman, MARY, mid 20's. Her 2 CHILDREN a young GIRL and BOY. Are lay on either side of her.
BOY: Can a blue box really fly?
MARY: Of course not. How many flying blue boxes do you see?
All laugh.
GIRL: A man such like the Doctor, must exist somewhere. I would love to meet him. I'd fly off in his wonderful blue box, and have such wonderful adventures.
MARY: Far off Yes Darling. But such a man doesn't exist. Snaps back How many men do you know that have flying blue boxes, and can defeat foreign beings?
GIRL: But still, wouldn't he be wonderful?
MARY: I suppose...
BOY: Mama? What would you do if you could ever meet the Doctor?
MARY: Well I suppose I would...run up to him, hug him and thank him for being so wonderful.
GIRL: Mama! What about Papa!
MARY: I'm not sure he would even care. Papa wouldn't believe in such a man, even if the Doctor did exist.
GIRL: Sorrowfully Which he doesn't.
MARY: I'm sorry darlings. Tucks her children in. Well, you can all dream of travelling with him tonight can't you? Off to bed now. Night night.
Leaves the room. A sudden change in personality comes across. She's weary, tired, stressed. She leans against the door. Suddenly a whirring noise starts loudly and a blue glow fades in and out. The TARDIS appears and the door opens.
MARY: Who are you?
DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor...Hello!
Mary is insulted by this man mocking her. Too shocked to even think that he just appeared out of thin air.
MARY: Get out. Leave this family alone.
DOCTOR: Well that's the rudest welcome I've ever had. But suit yourself.
TARDIS leaves. Mary realises her mistake and begins to cry.
Cut to.
Scene 2
In Mary's bedroom. Mary in bed asleep. Suddenly in the corner of the room, a blue glow appears and the TARDIS appears. Mary's awake and gaping at the TARDIS. Door opens and the DOCTOR is stood in the doorway with his arms open wide.
Pause.
DOCTOR: Well come on, I can't stand here like this forever...well actually I can, but that's beside the point.
MARY: It's you again. What? Who are you? How did you get in here?
DOCTOR: You don't know who I am?
MARY: No.
DOCTOR: ...You mean I've travelled all this way to see someone who wants to hug me and tell me I'm brilliant, you insulted me last time...and you don't know who I am.
Pause.
DOCTOR: Well this is brilliant. Brilliant.
MARY: How did you appear? How did you know what I said?
DOCTOR: Because I'm the Doctor.
MARY: But you can't exist. I only said to my children the other night: How many blue...Doctor cuts in.
DOCTOR: ...flying boxes have you ever seen. I know.
MARY: But you're not how I imagined. I though you would look different.
DOCTOR: Nope. This is the way I look. The way I will look for some time. Not changing now.
MARY: No but the illustrations. You look...different.
Pause.
Doctor looks shocked.
DOCTOR: ...AMYYYY!
Amy appears in the TARDIS doorway.
AMY: What? What is it?
DOCTOR: Have I...have I changed? I still look the same now as I did yesterday. No extra hair. Cant get any longer. A mole...is there a mole on my face...no, no, NO. I'm not a woman am I? Tell me I'm not. Coz if I am, I'll be sooooo mad...Amy cuts in.
AMY: Doctor...you're fine.
DOCTOR: Good. That's great...good. Turns to Mary. For a minute then, you had me worried...starts laughing I thought I was a woman.
Mary on bed, slowly realising.
MARY: It is you. You're the Doctor. Oh my gosh.
Gets out of bed and slowly walks towards him.
DOCTOR: Finally. Now she gets it.
Mary in tears.
MARY: Oh Doctor. I've been praying for someone like you to come to me for so long...
The Doctor turns to Amy.
DOCTOR: See I am appreciated. You may not realise it Pond but I'm an intergalactic phenomenon...try saying that on Yoltha gas. But yes. Amy, Amy, Amy...Amy. Mary, meet Amy, Amy this is Mary. She's from your past.
AMY: Hiya!
MARY: Your hair...
AMY: Erm yeah. What about it?
MARY: The colour of the Devils hair. Oh sweet Lord.
AMY: I think thats the worst hair crack I've ever had.
DOCTOR: Nah its not. You were more upset when you were told your head was on fire and ended up with a bucket of water thrown over your head.
AMY:...how did you know. I was 7.
DOCTOR: I was the one that threw the bucket. Now Mary. Mirrors.
MARY: ...what? I'm sorry. What?
DOCTOR: It's the mirrors isn't it.
MARY: I'm sorry I...I don't know what your talking about.
DOCTOR: Oh come on Mary don't pretend there's nothing wrong. I wouldn't be here if there wasn't anything interesting going on. I always found the Victorians rather dull. Sorry.
MARY: How did you know to come here?
DOCTOR: It's because...well because I'm the Doctor...sorry I love to say that.
Doctor brings out psychic paper.
DOCTOR: It's because of this Mary. Every single story you've read, every cry for help, every silent prayer you have ever made has been projected on to this. And I want to know why. So then Mary Berlington, mirrors. Why are they covered up?
Focus on a mirror in the background, that is covered in a black curtain.
MARY: The mirrors, they take things. Vases, tables, patterns.
AMY: But Doctor how can a mirror take things? Its just glass.
DOCTOR: That's what I want to know. Sounds like a right party pooper. Show me.
MARY: I really don't think you'd want to be bothered with something like that...
DOCTOR: I think you do Mary. I've read your prayers remember. These mirrors are making your life a misery and I can't live with that. You have children Mary. Children. And you know what...I hate to see children cry. So come on Mary. Show me.
Scene 3
Library in house. Smashed vases on floor. Things don't look quite right, furniture missing, pattern on wallpaper is odd.
DOCTOR: Well this was one heck of a party. Shame about the vase.
MARY: It started with that vase. One morning it was there on the table. By the evening, it was gone.
AMY: Mary, I don't think it's anything to do with your mirror. I think you have burglars.
MARY: It's not just the missing of the objects. Look.
Mary pulls the curtain off a mirror. Slow motion, funny dramatic. Nothing obvious.
AMY: Mary, that's a reflection.
DOCTOR: Or lack of. Look at where the vase used to be in the mirror.
In the reflection we can still see the vase, and all the furniture and wallpaper is as it would have been before disappearing. Vases not smashed, wallpaper patterns fine etc. But everything normal e.g people still reflected.
DOCTOR: Well that's new. Very new. When did this all start?
MARY: About 3 months ago.
DOCTOR: So it takes anything?
MARY:...yes.
DOCTOR: There's something you're not telling me. What happened?
Mary: Crying. I..I...
DOCTOR: Come on Mary. It's me.
MARY: It took my house maids, and husband. I don't know what to do. Help me Doctor.
DOCTOR: Now you see. That's an offer I can't refuse. A mirror that takes things. That's just so cool! I am the Doctor...I never get tired of saying that.
AMY: But Doctor, its just a mirror. Can't you just...well smash it.
DOCTOR: No. Not yet. I don't know what I'm up against here. Could be anything. Smashing the mirror could cause a ripple in the fabric in the universe, and to be honest I hate filling in the paper work when that happens.
In the background a pile of books fall off the shelf as the shelf disappears.
DOCTOR: Right.
Doctor straight into action.
DOCTOR: So what we're dealing with here is a mirror thingy, that takes anything in its sight. Correct? Don't answer that...I know it is. Sooo...we need to...
Door opens.
GIRL: Mama!
Mary quickly closes the door.
MARY: Just a moment. Aside to Doctor. You'd better hide. I can't be dealing with anymore at the moment.
DOCTOR: Ahh but come on. Kids love me. I'm great with kids. Uncle Doctor. Cool Uncle Doctor. Uncle Doctor with a bow tie. Aahh I could start new fashion trends with my nieces and nephews. Take them to Pl 1.
Another knock at the door. Amy grabs the Doctor by the arm and drags him into the cupboard.
MARY: Yes love?
The girl runs in and hugs Mary.
MARY: Come on Darling. What is it?
GIRL: It's Matthew. He's gone.
The Doctor sprints out the cupboard and the room. Everyone else follows. He pauses in the hallway just outside the room.
DOCTOR: Pond you're with me. Everyone else wait here. You understand that? Wait here okay?
The girl and Mary nod slowly. The Doctor and Amy begin to walk slowly into the room. They look around.
AMY: Doctor how can a mirror take a child? I mean it's a human. It's in control of itself.
DOCTOR: I don't know. I'm still working that out. I'm still working everything out. I mean. It's a mirror. Mirrors just reflect things. Its glass.
AMY: Doctor...
The Doctor follows Amy's gaze to a single bed. The bed is empty, but the duvet and pillow are as if someone is still sleeping in it.
AMY: Doctor, what happened? Where'd he go?
The Doctor wafts his hand through the air where the body should be.
DOCTOR: Vanished. Out of thin air. There's not even a trace of him.
The Doctor sniffs the pillow.
DOCTOR: There's nothing. Nothings been left behind. Oh. Oh no wait. I know where he is.
AMY: Where? Does this mean the mirror didn't take him?
DOCTOR: If I'm right in thinking...he should be...
The Doctor pulls off the curtain over the mirror. Matthew is on the other side, crying and banging on the glass. Nothing can be heard though.
AMY: Doctor...
DOCTOR: Inside the mirror. Concealed like a big glass cage. We can't get in...he can't get out.
AMY: But he can see us right?
DOCTOR: Not sure.
Mary and the girl run in. Mary see's the mirror and breaks down. She looks longingly into the mirror. Slowly walks up to it and strokes it.
MARY: Oh my sweet child.
DOCTOR: Mary look at me. You have to trust me completely. I will do everything I can to bring your son back.
Mary stands up enraged.
MARY: But you can't can you? You don't know a thing about what's going on do you? This is just a game. Your just enjoying being loved. What have I done? You can't help us. You're just a character from a book. Get out. Get out of my house now. Leave and don't come back. You're not welcome.
DOCTOR: Humans. So stupid, stupid, stupid. I CAN HELP YOU. You never understand do you? Do you? You think you can all go off galavanting on your own merry little planet. If i couldn't help, this planet wouldn't be here!
MARY: GET OUT!
The Doctor and Amy leave the room. In the distance we hear the TARDIS engines firing up and leaving. Mary stands firm but a single tear trickles out her eye.
MARY: God have mercy on us all.