Mapleshade glanced down at the kits in front of her and up at the raging river. One of the small kittens, a black and ginger she-kit mewed piteously and Mapleshade flinched. She would cross that river and she would do it with her kits. She didn't care anymore for her clan. They had thrown her away like a moss ball doused in mouse-bile. She snarled at the memory.
The kit mewed again and she picked it up by the scruff. "There, there." she meowed softly, trying to comfort the small kit, who merely wriggled even more in response. "Calm down." she told the kit, whose mewling was waking her two sleeping littermates. When the kit did not cease it's pitiful wailing, Mapleshade growled. "Stop it!" she hissed under her breath, padding towards the river bank. She dipped the tip of her paw into the rushing water and hissed as it froze her paw. "Great." she growled, knowing she would have to swim across.
She tested the water once more before leaping into the freezing river. She gasped as the water soaked through her fur and caused her to shiver. She paddled as quickly as she could to the other side and dropped the kit on the opposite bank, then she whirled around and grabbed the two male kits. They began wailing and thrashing in her grasp, but she ignored them and jumped into the river.
"Stop!" Mapleshade commanded as one of the kits began kicking its small paws against her throat. She pushed him with her paw and he froze, but continued trying to escape form her hold. He slipped from her grasp and fell under the foaming white water. "No!" Mapleshade wailed as he disappeared from sight. Desperately, she searched for him, swiftly dropping the remaining kit on the opposite bank before diving under the water surface and looking for any sign of the kit's shining black and white fur.
Finding no sign of him, she stumbled along the bank, sobbing and searching for her surviving kits. Failing at locating them, she searched closer to the water and soon heard mewling. She ran in the direction the distress calls had come from and soon found the two kits, scratching at the loose, wet soil as the water swept them further down stream. "No! StarClan no!" Mapleshade yowled, sprinting to her kits as their claws were dislodged from the ground. Their heads disappeared under the foaming water and mapleshade dove after them.
Having not found even the slightest trace of her kits, she collapsed on the river bank, sobbing her heart out. "Why!?" she hissed at the stars. "Why did you take them from me!?" she closed her eyes, suddenly feeling tired, and cried herself to sleep.
When she awoke, she traveled in the direction of her mate, Appledusk's, clan's camp. Hopefully, he would let her stay. She met him outside the camp. He greeted her with a puzzled expression.
"Where are the kits?" he asked. "Are they nearby?"
"If StarClan is nearby." Mapleshade growled. Appledusk jumped back.
"What?!" he hissed. "They died!" Mapleshade flattened her ears.
"They were swept away when I crossed the river!" she winced at her mate's harsh tone. "Please, Appledusk...I need a home. Thunderclan no longer accepts me and I know they won't let me join them again if I come crawling back. Please, my love." she pleaded, her eyes widening so the white could be seen. Appledusk only glared more fiercely at her.
"I don't want to see you again." he murmured. Mapleshade's amber eyes widened.
"W-What?" she stammered, not knowing if she'd heard him correctly.
"I said; I don't want to see you again!" he yelled, causing her to flinch away.
"B-But Appledusk..." she whimpered. He snarled at her.
"I said go away!" Mapleshade's eyes glazed over with grief and she tucked her tail between her legs.
"As you wish." she mewed, turning tail and running away as quickly as her legs could carry her. Tears streaming from her eyes as she ran away from everything she had ever known and loved. She never looked back once.