Author's Note: Yes, seeing Freefall Insanity's pardoy on Princess Bride
gave me an idea for a parody of my own. The reason I didn't put this on the
game crossovers is because I wanted all of you to see it. Besides, the
actual characters from FF7 aren't in this game, it's just the LoD gang
playing the parts. So... just read it. Don't forget to review either.
Please?
Chapter 1: Behind the Scenes
*Striker is attempting to directing a movie of Final Fantasy 7 using the characters from Legend of Dragoon. The group is on the set, where Striker is trying to get the protesting Dragoons into their costumes.*
Dart: Why are we doing this again?
Striker: Because I wanted to make my second favorite Final Fantasy game into a movie. Because I'm the author, and I said so.
Albert: Why not make a movie out of your favorite Final Fantasy?
Striker: Because Final Fantasy 6 has too many characters. Although it would be interesting to see Lavitz as Locke and Miranda as Celes, I couldn't imagine the thought of you as Edgar, Kongol as Umaro, or Meru as Gogo... *shudders*
Albert: Then why not use the actual characters instead of us?
Striker: Because they have contracts with Disney for a remake of It's a Small World. I can't pay them that much.
Dart: This outfit sucks. *is in Cloud's purple clothing* Where the hell is my red armor?
Striker: Tell you what. You'll have to lose the red armor, but you can have this. *hands him Cloud's incredibly big sword*
Dart: O_O BIG SWORD! *runs off to cause carnage*
Shana: *is already in her Aeris costume, and is currently braiding her hair*
Striker: Well, at least she isn't complaining for once. Probably because she gets to fawn over Dart all she wants...
Kongol: *getting into Barret's outfit* What this? *holds up the gun*
Striker: That's your weapon, Kongol. It goes on your hand.
Kongol: Oh. *puts it on his arm, and fires*
Greham: ACK! *shot several times*
Kongol: Oops.
Striker: *waves hands* It doesn't matter. He wasn't important anyway. *hands him a fake beard*
Kongol: What this? New loincloth?
Striker: _ *bad images of Kongol running around dressed only in a fake beard* No. *puts fake beard on for Kongol*
Rose: I refuse to wear this. *holds up Tifa's skirt*
Striker: *eye twitches* Rose, I want to show you something. *holds up a picture of Zeig hanging over a vat of acid*
Rose: O_O ZEIG! You wouldn't!
Striker: Wanna bet? Now put the damn skirt on!
Rose: *grumbles*
Lavitz: *already dressed as Cid, and lighting his cigarette* Heh, heh...
Rose: *slaps him* Pervert.
Lavitz: *grins, rubbing his face* What? Just playing the part...
Rose: *eye twitches*
Meru: Yay! Kitty costume! *twirls*
Striker: Shut up and get on your stuffed Mog.
Meru: *sees stuffed Mog* *gasps* It's sooooo cute! *hugs it*
Striker: *slaps forehead* *tries a different approach* Guess what, Meru? There's an invisible box filled with candy on top of that stuffed Mog!
Meru: Really? *jumps on top of the Mog*
Striker: No. *chains her there*
Meru: Hey! NO FAIR!
Striker: Tough luck.
Albert: I can't believe you made me dye my precious ponytail!
Striker: If you don't get into your costume, I'll cut your damn ponytail OFF!
Albert: *gasps* *hastily puts on Vincent's cape and boots*
Striker: That's better. *tosses him his gun*
Albert: What the hell is this?
Striker: *sighs* To think you're supposed to be the smart one. It's your weapon. Pull the trigger.
Albert: Like this? *fires*
Lenus: *falls over with a bloody hole in her head*
Striker: Damn it, there goes Scarlett...
Miranda: What the ^&$%ing #^$@ is this?
Striker: That's your ninja star. You're a Materia-stealing ninja. Go with it.
Miranda: *muttering obscenities under her breath*
Haschel: Is this my costume? *holds up what looks like a dead animal skin*
Striker: Yes. You're Red XIII.
Haschel: What the hell? Why do I have to be the genetic mutant?
Striker: Because you're the only one left. Unless you'd rather be Yuffie...
Haschel: *grumble*
Dart: *comes back from his romp with Cloud's sword* *the Train Graveyard set is now in ruins*
Striker: Well, it's supposed to be like that, so I guess it could be worse.
Dart: Hey, who's Sephiroth?
Striker: Lloyd. Duh.
Lloyd: *steps out of his dressing room in black cape and long sword* That's right! Bow to my prettiness, foolish mortals!
Dart: Bah, you're only pretty because you're a clone!
Lloyd: Silence, jealous un-pretty one!
Dart: That's it! *tackles Lloyd*
Lloyd and Dart: *start beating the crap out of each other*
Striker: *watching Lloyd and Dart beat each other up, Rose making use of Beat Rush on poor Lavitz, Kongol and Albert accidentally shooting things, Haschel and Meru running around in their animal costumes, Miranda cussing out little kids who are playing extras for no reason, Greham and Lenus bleeding on the ground, and Shana still braiding her hair, oblivious to everything while humming It's a Small World After All* *sighs* Why do I have the feeling I just should have stayed in bed this morning?
************************************************************************ Author's Note: There it is, folks. First chapter over. Actual shooting starts next chapter, where we see how Kongol acts, who Striker has casted as Biggs, Jessie and Wedge, and how Rose really looks in Tifa's outfit. O_o Review please!
Chapter 1: Behind the Scenes
*Striker is attempting to directing a movie of Final Fantasy 7 using the characters from Legend of Dragoon. The group is on the set, where Striker is trying to get the protesting Dragoons into their costumes.*
Dart: Why are we doing this again?
Striker: Because I wanted to make my second favorite Final Fantasy game into a movie. Because I'm the author, and I said so.
Albert: Why not make a movie out of your favorite Final Fantasy?
Striker: Because Final Fantasy 6 has too many characters. Although it would be interesting to see Lavitz as Locke and Miranda as Celes, I couldn't imagine the thought of you as Edgar, Kongol as Umaro, or Meru as Gogo... *shudders*
Albert: Then why not use the actual characters instead of us?
Striker: Because they have contracts with Disney for a remake of It's a Small World. I can't pay them that much.
Dart: This outfit sucks. *is in Cloud's purple clothing* Where the hell is my red armor?
Striker: Tell you what. You'll have to lose the red armor, but you can have this. *hands him Cloud's incredibly big sword*
Dart: O_O BIG SWORD! *runs off to cause carnage*
Shana: *is already in her Aeris costume, and is currently braiding her hair*
Striker: Well, at least she isn't complaining for once. Probably because she gets to fawn over Dart all she wants...
Kongol: *getting into Barret's outfit* What this? *holds up the gun*
Striker: That's your weapon, Kongol. It goes on your hand.
Kongol: Oh. *puts it on his arm, and fires*
Greham: ACK! *shot several times*
Kongol: Oops.
Striker: *waves hands* It doesn't matter. He wasn't important anyway. *hands him a fake beard*
Kongol: What this? New loincloth?
Striker: _ *bad images of Kongol running around dressed only in a fake beard* No. *puts fake beard on for Kongol*
Rose: I refuse to wear this. *holds up Tifa's skirt*
Striker: *eye twitches* Rose, I want to show you something. *holds up a picture of Zeig hanging over a vat of acid*
Rose: O_O ZEIG! You wouldn't!
Striker: Wanna bet? Now put the damn skirt on!
Rose: *grumbles*
Lavitz: *already dressed as Cid, and lighting his cigarette* Heh, heh...
Rose: *slaps him* Pervert.
Lavitz: *grins, rubbing his face* What? Just playing the part...
Rose: *eye twitches*
Meru: Yay! Kitty costume! *twirls*
Striker: Shut up and get on your stuffed Mog.
Meru: *sees stuffed Mog* *gasps* It's sooooo cute! *hugs it*
Striker: *slaps forehead* *tries a different approach* Guess what, Meru? There's an invisible box filled with candy on top of that stuffed Mog!
Meru: Really? *jumps on top of the Mog*
Striker: No. *chains her there*
Meru: Hey! NO FAIR!
Striker: Tough luck.
Albert: I can't believe you made me dye my precious ponytail!
Striker: If you don't get into your costume, I'll cut your damn ponytail OFF!
Albert: *gasps* *hastily puts on Vincent's cape and boots*
Striker: That's better. *tosses him his gun*
Albert: What the hell is this?
Striker: *sighs* To think you're supposed to be the smart one. It's your weapon. Pull the trigger.
Albert: Like this? *fires*
Lenus: *falls over with a bloody hole in her head*
Striker: Damn it, there goes Scarlett...
Miranda: What the ^&$%ing #^$@ is this?
Striker: That's your ninja star. You're a Materia-stealing ninja. Go with it.
Miranda: *muttering obscenities under her breath*
Haschel: Is this my costume? *holds up what looks like a dead animal skin*
Striker: Yes. You're Red XIII.
Haschel: What the hell? Why do I have to be the genetic mutant?
Striker: Because you're the only one left. Unless you'd rather be Yuffie...
Haschel: *grumble*
Dart: *comes back from his romp with Cloud's sword* *the Train Graveyard set is now in ruins*
Striker: Well, it's supposed to be like that, so I guess it could be worse.
Dart: Hey, who's Sephiroth?
Striker: Lloyd. Duh.
Lloyd: *steps out of his dressing room in black cape and long sword* That's right! Bow to my prettiness, foolish mortals!
Dart: Bah, you're only pretty because you're a clone!
Lloyd: Silence, jealous un-pretty one!
Dart: That's it! *tackles Lloyd*
Lloyd and Dart: *start beating the crap out of each other*
Striker: *watching Lloyd and Dart beat each other up, Rose making use of Beat Rush on poor Lavitz, Kongol and Albert accidentally shooting things, Haschel and Meru running around in their animal costumes, Miranda cussing out little kids who are playing extras for no reason, Greham and Lenus bleeding on the ground, and Shana still braiding her hair, oblivious to everything while humming It's a Small World After All* *sighs* Why do I have the feeling I just should have stayed in bed this morning?
************************************************************************ Author's Note: There it is, folks. First chapter over. Actual shooting starts next chapter, where we see how Kongol acts, who Striker has casted as Biggs, Jessie and Wedge, and how Rose really looks in Tifa's outfit. O_o Review please!