Words
When the girls are in bed and the house is quiet and sleep won't come Bianca Montgomery's mind fills with words; words of love and longing, words of hope and happiness. And one image just one, Marissa's face. The honesty shining clear in her beautiful eyes and ringing loud in her dulcet voice when Bianca asks her if anger is causing her to say what she's saying.
"I'm saying it because I can't not say it anymore."
And Bianca understands that feeling, understands what it's like to not be able to hold onto a truth she can no longer deny; like the truth of her attraction to her best friend. The relief was not just in confessing it but also in fully embracing it. And hours later Bianca can still picture that same relief in Marissa's eyes.
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JR's presence is there even in Bianca's minds eye, his upset and anger spilling into his words when he demands that Marissa tells Bianca, tells them both, that she likes men. But Marissa is looking at Bianca when she answers; her eyes so vibrant and honest are staring into Bianca's begging her to please just hear her. Because Bianca hasn't been listening and that is why they are there, in that room having that conversation in front of Marissa's ex-husband. Bianca had closed herself off from those heartfelt words in the park; she had refused to accept another straight woman's experimentation. Fear of having her heart broken again in a Maggie like way had sent her running.
"All I can tell her is the truth."
And the truth when Marissa finally says it is like a song played on the strings of Bianca's heart, the notes ringing out within the brunette.
"I'm falling in love with you."
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Bianca is so happy that for endless seconds she believes it might all be a dream; that she might have closed her eyes while relaxing on Kendall's couch and slipped into a dreamlike state that was just too good to wake up from. But then JR's voice, his disbelief and arrogance breaks into that dream and Bianca smiles inanely as she admits that she did indeed tell Marissa she had a thing for her. How could she not smile? Her confession to Marissa was now proving to be one of the best things she had ever done.
"And I lied before I am not falling in love with you I'm already there."
Bianca felt herself begin to float on cloud nine, Marissa's eyes, the smile on her face, the honesty in her voice confirmed that she too was up there floating on a cloud that had been numbered instead of named. They knew its name now, they felt it. It was love.
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"I can't promise to always know what I'm doing. Or that I won't step backward when I'm trying to move forwards but I really want to see where this goes."
And so does Bianca, she wants to see where this goes because she already knows it will be unlike anything she has had before. Marissa is different, she is a breath of fresh air blowing across the pages of Bianca's life and rearranging the words. The brunette finally drifts into sleep, her mind no longer on those words but on the future they will lead to.