A/N: This fanfic is the stupidest thing I've ever written, and quite possibly the most pointless thing you'll ever read. Because of this, I won't pretend that this is one of those serious fanfics and instead get right to the point. Also, I won't pretend to be a good writer, so all of the writing in this fanfic is horrible. You may be asking, "why are you writing this?" To which I respond: I just want to write a shaggy dog. :P
"Well, well, my dear," said Bowser. "It looks like once again, I have captured you. This time, I have made sure that Mario can't possibly save you. Nervous?"
Peach said nothing, instead opting to play with her brooch. Bowser had always made this sort of thing, and each time. . .well, you figure it out.
"You ain't saying anything, my sweet."
Once again, Peach said nothing, and Bowser laughed.
At that moment, Bowser Jr. entered the room, carrying a plush Goomba and a blue blanket. "Dad," he yawned, "I can't sleep. You laugh loudly."
"I do?. . .oh! I do!" said Bowser, and he grinned. Then, as an aside to Peach, he said, "Make yourself useful and tell Jr. a bedtime story, and make it about me."
Peach then got a sly look on her face and said, "Ok, I'll play this game. What would you like the story to be called?"
Bowser was deep in thought, shouting out names such as "Bowser: The Renegade" and "The Koopa Menace," only to reject each one of them. Finally, Bowser Jr. shouted out, "How about, 'The Really Awesome Koopa!'" Bowser nodded his head in agreement that this was a good title. Peach then cleared her throat, and started to tell her story:
"Once upon a time, there was a REALLY AWESOME KOOPA-"
"-named Bowser." interrupted Bowser.
". . .named Bowser-"
"-who was a million times better than Mario."
". . .yes. Anyways, the REALLY REALLY AWESOME KOOPA decided that he was so awesome that he decided to have a tournament to show everyone how awesome he was."
"Did he invite Mario?"
"Are you telling the story, or am I?" Once this made Bowser quiet, Peach continued. "Everyone in all the Mushroom Kingdom was invited, from the smallest Boo to Birdo, and yes, even Mario."
Bowser grinned.
"One by one, each competitor did something. Maybe they sung. Maybe they told jokes. Who knows? But everyone knew that the only real compitition to the REALLY REALLY REALLY awesome Koopa was Mario."
"Oh, really?" said Bowser. "What was so special about him?"
"Well, Mario was a doctor, a plumber, a racecar driver, but NOBODY knew that Mario was a magician. So, Mario did the standard magician's fare, and for the grand finale. . .he pulled a Goomba out of his butt!
"The REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY awesome Koopa laughed, and said, 'Is that all you can do?' He then proceeded to make fire fall from the sky, fed the masses only using a single fish and a loaf of bread, and walked on water. He topped that off by turning all of the water supply in the Mushroom kingdom into wine! 'Beat that!' he said.
"Mario then proceeded to. . .pull TWO Goombas out of his butt!
"The REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY awesome Koopa laughed and laughed. The winner of the tournament was obvious.
"Now, there was a princess in the Mushroom Kingdom who was fair and wise beyond her years" (here she giggled) "She happened to be watching the contest with her friend, who was also a princess. She only wanted to marry the best, and she came to the tournament to see the best."
"And?" Bowser said wistfully in a tone that made Peach rather uncomfortable.
"Well, when they were giving out the awards, she walked up to the Koopa and told him, 'You know, I really don't think you're that awesome."
There was a long, uncomfortable silence in the room.
"And then?" said Bowser.
"What do you mean, 'and then'? This is the end of the story!"
Bowser was getting ready to put fire to the room when he realized that Jr. was fast asleep, snuggled up in his blanket.
"Grr. . .I'll remember this! And I'll get you back!" he said, and he stomped out of the room.
Chances are, I won't write the next chapter, simply because this chapter sucks. But whatever. Flame away.