Its all a drag

AN: This is a post season 4 fic, it is set about a week after. Its is supposed to be light and funny, but im not too happy with it - it didnt go exactly as planned. Oh and Tony drinks in this, so im going to say its an AU chapter, because in any other post season 4 fic i wouldnt have him drinking, because of the reason they got divorced in the first place. So were pretending they didnt get divorced because of his drinking, okay, but because he closed up and pushed her away after his release. Ok I hope that wasn't too confusing. And to start with Tony and Michelle tell the story, but I take over, me, Becky. Okay. Sorted. Enjoy.

This is for Annabelle, hope you enjoy it - if you dont i'll write another one for ya, your preferences included (which arent very much I might add!) and if you do like it and want another fic, I can do that too! Enjoy!

Michelle is the bold writing, Tony is the italic. Hope its not too confusing.

Tony was stood in the kitchen, walking back and forth along the red carpet I had placed down just for him. He was strutting his stuff, flinging his body back and forth when...

"What the hell is going on here?"

Ok maybe we should start from the beginning.

Yes Chelle, I think that makes sense.

Don't you roll your eyes at me.

Chelle just carry on, their all waiting

So I had given my two weeks notice and apparently Hammond didnt think it was acceptable at a time like this -

Yeah well everyone knows Hammond is a complete ass.

Tony dont but in - im trying to tell the story

You said we're going to tell the story, but it's all -

I lied.

Well i'm telling it too - its my story aswell.

Tony shut up.

Okay them two dont seem capable to tell the story - so i'll do it.

Michelle had just given her two weeks notice - like she said. But Brad being the annoying ass he is complained. But come on - he wouldn't be Hammond if he didn't would he?

So Michelle went straight to Hammond to sort it out, it went a bit like this:

"Brad two weeks notice is perfectly understandable, its what is required -"

But Brad cut her off, "I don't think so, we need to find someone to fill your position, it'll take longer than two weeks"

"Dont give me that crap Brad, it'll take a few hours, Bill will happily transfer, and its easy to fill a space at Division"

"No, Michelle, it is final, you will do your two weeks notice plus an extra two"

"Um - I'm sorry, but I dont think so" She said finding the situation quite amusing by this point.

Michelle could see she wasn't going to get anywhere with him, so she pretended to be civil.

"Okay Brad, this is going to take longer than I thought, would you like to get a coffee in the break room?"

"No thanks, I'm fine here"

"Then how about I go get you and I one and bring them up here?"

"Its fine i'll go sort it out" and he got up and headed down the stairs.

Michelle knew it, Brad never lets anyone make his coffee for him anymore, not since someone spiked his coffee at the christmas party last year, and he ended up doing the 'full monty' to the entire CTU staff as result - and then made them all swear by their jobs that they weren't to tell anyone.

So whilst Brad went to get his and Michelle's coffee, Michelle got to work. Brad came back, handed Michelle her coffee and sat down. Michelle just smiled, a quite mischevious smile, but tried - very hard - to force it away.

Brad noticed this and wrinkled his eyebrows "So...?"

"Yes, well I was thinking you either take my two weeks notice, or I walk out here right now"

"Don't give me that Michelle, you know if you do i'll - "

It was Michelles turn to cut him off, "You'll do what Brad?" she said tilting her head to the side; not the least bit intimidated.

"Stop me?" she asked.

"Precisely"

"So i'll guess you'll call security, have me removed from the building etc etc" she asked a little too confidently.

"Well yes, pretty much" He said, scrunching his face up - trying to work out why she was being all cocky.

"I'd like to see you try" she smiled

Brad tried to lean forward for the phone, but couldn't move himself from his chair, and he couldn't reach far enough for it. Michelle stiffled a laugh, tilted her head to the side and winked at him.

"Couldn't help myself" she sniggered "You just brought it on yourself Brad - by just being you" she smiled again.

Brad continued to stare at her, not knowing what to make of the situation.

She got up to leave, whilst Brad just continued to stare at her, and then the chair - repeatedly. "Oh and if you make a complaint about me, any false accusations, anything, i'll show everyone, and I mean everyone what happened at last years christmas party - that means Mark Lusaf and everyone else above you will see it. Just go on D-2-3-Delta and you'll see for yourself" She began out the door. "Nice working with ya Brad" she said through laughter as she her hardest to stiffle it. But it came out in a quick burst when Brad began bobbing up and down in his seat trying to loosen the glue.

Michelle headed home and when she got there she told Tony the whole story over dinner - except most of it was sprayed in all directions through fits of laughter.

They sat down on the sofa together drinking lots of wine in celebration to Michelles departure at CTU. Michelle was very giddy today, and the wine definately wasn't helping.

"Tony can I..." The rest of that sentence was whispered in Tony's ear.

Tony burst out laughing, "Honey?" he asked raising his eyebrows, as if asking if she was serious, she smiled and nodded. "No of course not, why on earth would you want to do that?" He asked clearly amused.

Michelle stuck out her lip, "Honey, don't pout" He said leaning in to kiss her.

"But-" she moaned in between kisses.

"Chelle" He said hoping she got the message - shut it.

But she had her own ideas...

Okay so now they were in the bedroom, Tony was on the bed with nothing but his boxers on, and Michelle, well she was just plain naked - it was the only thing she could think of to get him like this without him being suspicious.

She leaned down to kiss him but reached under the bed at the same time - she had to find them.

AHA!

That was it, she had them and her quick reflexive agent mode kicked in and seconds later Tony was handcuffed to the bed.

"Oooh honey, what've you got planned?" he asked seductively.

He was smiling and licking his lips until she began getting dressed.

"See, darling, I've had a lot to drink, I really wanted to do this, but seeing how I didn't get your consent, I had to go ahead with my plan without you" She said trying to sound and act serious but failing miserably.

She went in her closet and pulled out her big silver box, and a selection and variation of other stuff. "Ok honey, you ready?" she asked as she sat on his chest.

"Sweethart - please..." he moaned.

And then she began, "Chelle, nooooo" Tony moaned, wriggled, whined and shouted the entire time but nothing could stop Michelle she was on a roll. A couple of hours and screams from Tony later and -

"Ok honey, what do ya think?"

Tony was - at last - free from handcuffs and standing in front of a full length mirror.

"Do ya like?" she giggled.

Tony just smirked at himself: He had a gorgeous complexion now, foundation is a great way for perfect skin, he had lovely lush lips, glossy and red. Nice big eyes complete with mascara, eyeliner and eyeshadow. And to finsh up he had one of Michelles larger mini skirts on (but it was still very short and skin tight on Tony) and a boob tube (the boob tube zipped up at the back so Michelle could still get it on him while he was handcuffed) and then to finish up the whole look he wore lovely silver siletto's - which by the way he couldn't walk in (but i dont think any man could).

"You make a gorgeous drag queen, Tony" she smiled totally proud of her work, and also laughing her head off.

"Chelle, why?" he asked, totally bewildered as to why his fiancee wanted to dress him up as a tart so bad.

She giggled and shook her head, "Well it was fun"

Tony just closed his eyes and shook his head hoping when he opened them he would be normal again - Tony normal.

No such luck.

So instead he headed into the bathroom and turned on the shower.

"Wait, wait..."Michelle said

"Honey, I have to change this is torture!"

Michelle told him to wait right there and not move.

"Yeah, right" Tony said sarcastically

"I'll make it worth your while tonight" she said sarcastically.

Tony then muttered something under his breath like 'yeah like just now', Michelle ran out and came back a few minutes later.

"Honey, i'll do absoloutley anything if you just walk up and down the kitchen strutting your stuff, I want a few pics because I never want to forget this"

He laughed under his breath, "Not a chance in hell, sweetie"

"Please" she said

It was still no.

So after much begging, trying, persuading, and black mailing and the fact that he was wrapped around her little finger - very tightly I might add, he eventually agreed.

So he began strutting his stuff down the red carpet his fiancee had set up - whilst she took pictures of the little performance. Tony had had quite a lot to drink by now - he needed it, to get him through this. Tony bent down for Michelles final take and blew a kiss into the camera.

That was about the time Jack walked in.