Disclaimer: I am not Veronica Roth and I do not own Divergent or any of the characters.
Shivers crawled up and down his arms as he stared into her stormy grey-blue eyes, the eyes that either intrigued or haunted his dreams since the day he met her. Reluctantly, Tobias, eyes still locked with hers, touched the cold metal of the gun lying on the small pedestal in front of him and picked it up, raising and pointing it at her with surprisingly steady arms. Years of Dauntless training, he supposed, always overtook his emotions in stressful situations, no matter the circumstances.
He hesitatingly rested his finger over the trigger as she laughed, locks of her blonde hair falling across her eyes, seeming as if she couldn't believe he would hurt her. He couldn't do it, it tortured him, it killed him, but he knew he had no choice, he must end the simulation. After a fleeting breath, he tensed and pulled the trigger with a click, collapsing against the pedestal immediately as the gun dropped to the floor. Squeezing his eyes shut, he jammed his hands over his ears like a toddler so he couldn't watch her fall, wouldn't hear her screams.
A few moments later, he rushed over to where she lay, a small pool of blood gathering beneath her, and cradled her body, whispering, "I love you Tris," over and over. "I would never hurt you Tris, I love you." The simulation ended abruptly, her body disappearing from his arms as the dim white lights of the simulation hallway flickered on around him. Ever since he had gotten to know Tris more, began to love her, she haunted his fear simulations, each one tormenting him even worse than the last. He didn't know exactly know why he returned to the simulation so often, but it continued to draw him in each night. Tonight, though, he broke down, slouching in the corner of the wall, his head in his hands. Damn it, you are Four, he thought to himself furiously. You are Dauntless. Pull it together, Eaton.
While he calmed down, a small figure peeked around the corner, her eyes wide. "Tris." He spoke softly, his voice hoarse. She joined him silently, dropping next to him and hugging her knees to her chest.
"Hey," she replied, smiling slightly.
"Why are you up?"
Eyebrows raised, she answered, "I could ask you the same question." Tobias didn't respond, and they both fell silent.
"Tris-" He broke off, not able to force what he wanted to say out of his mouth. Instead, he turned to her and embraced her, comforted by her slight, warm, alive body, her chest rising and falling at the same rate as his own. She pulled him closer and kissed him as he attempted to convey all the words he couldn't speak into the kiss. They broke off, his hands still on her waist and hers in his hair. Flushing, -When would she ever get used to this? he thought- she stood up, returning to her nervous habit of brushing her palms off on her pants.
"I'd better be going." She hesitated, walking backwards slightly.
"Wait, before you go-"
"Yes?"
He gathered his courage and murmured, "You keep getting hurt, or worse, every night in my fear simulations; it's killing me. Look, I'm just really glad you're alive, ok?"
She simply replied, "So, now I have to start calling you Five?"
"Seriously, Tris? That's all you have to say? And no, trust me, I'm still Four." He laughed softly, the pressure and stress lifting off him for a brief respite. Joining in, Tris offered Tobias her hand, pulling him up from the ground and kissing him again, still giggling.
Finally, they whispered good night, each heading off separate ways to their rooms. The memories of his fear simulation returned as soon as she left though, sobering his mood.
Tobias tapped away at the screens, eyes focused but mind blank. Suddenly, a voice, achingly familiar, broke the cold silence of the room. "Tobias."
Whipping around to face the voice, he stood and raised his gun. The girl- no, the enemy-from the lobby stood there with her weapon in hand, looking terrified but defiant. "Drop your weapon," he ordered her. Everything about this situation was familiar, yet he couldn't figure out why.
"Tobias," she repeated desperately, "you're in a simulation."
The girl must be speaking gibberish, what Tobias was doing was right, but part of his mind screamed at him otherwise. Blocking his thoughts, he demanded again, "Drop your weapon. Or I'll fire. Drop your weapon!"
She released the gun, though he could read the unwillingness in her expression. Wait, how could he read her features so well? And how did she know his name? In his confusion, she charged him. Tobias squeezed the trigger, but she ducked and knocked the gun out of his hands. Apparently, she was a fighter, but she could not match his strength. He punched her and she lurched sideways, but not before her feet connected with his stomach. As they wrestled, grappling for the gun, more thoughts invaded his mind about the strange blonde girl. Who was she? It doesn't matter, she's the enemy, he chided himself.
Finally, the girl dove for the gun and reached it, pointing it at him, her hands trembling."Tobias. Tobias, I know you're in there somewhere," she gasped. Her words triggered something inside his mind, but he couldn't figure out what. It was maddening. She continued speaking, even as he advanced toward her, fury gathering inside him. "Tobias, please. Please. See me. Please see me, Tobias, please!"
His mind whirred, shuffling through random images that made no sense to him, the blonde girl making an appearance in nearly all of the. They meant nothing to him, though, and he realized that the girl was causing all of his confusion and he needed to kill her. However, one side of him still resisted. Tobias reached her, unsure of what he planned to do, and was caught by surprise as the girl thrust the gun at him, her eyes sad and losing their spark. All this fighting, just to throw away her life? Jamming the gun into her forehead, he prepared the bullet, despite his uneasiness that this had happened before. She surprised him once again as she placed her hand over his chest, much like a lover might. Stop, stop, stop, part of him demanded, and he stared at her for a matter of seconds. As the girl noticed his hesitation, she whispered "Tobias. It's me." She embraced him, and suddenly, realization hit him like a bullet and his mind cleared. It was Tris. His Tris. The events of the night- the Jeanine's control over the Dauntless, Jeanine's control over him- came rushing back, and he released the gun, hearing the satisfying clatter as it reached the ground.
"Tris." He lurched forward, his mouth clashing against hers, kissing her like he never had before. The simulation hadn't worked. Tris wasn't dead, but he had almost killed her himself, just like in his fear simulations. Staring at her, he traced her features with his index finger, calming himself down. It scared him, really tortured him to think about what he had almost done, and his eyes filled with tears. He hadn't cried since he left Abengation- had left any sensitivity behind him, buried with his old name and old life- but they came now as he kissed Tris yet again.
Breaking off, Tris leaned into Tobias's shirt, crying, and spluttered, "How did you do it?"
He pondered the question, not quite understanding what exactly had happened, and simply replied, "I don't know. I just heard your voice." She squeezed him tighter.
Their moment over, they set to work with a new sense of urgency. Tobias felt even stronger, more confident they could survive this, knowing that he could overcome Jeanine's twisted simulation, at least for now. Because he was Divergent, and so was Tris. And they couldn't be controlled.