Tighter than Bob on a Treedome

by Tanalbi

One-shot. He loves her, he really does, but it takes more than a simple naive sponge to profess your love for a cetrain squrrel. Luckily, he found someone that might help... in some unorthodox ways, and by unorthodox, i mean that it is a squirrel, which may complicate the matters. Rated T for some stron language. Totally Spandy and kinda In Character accurate.

Tighter than Bob on a Treedome – A Spongebob Squarepants fanfiction.

It was a sunny day at Bikini Bottom. The sun was bright, the jellyfishes were happy, and… oh, what do we have here? A visitor!

A red bus, which was at the outskirts of town, approached Bikini Bottom, first passing next to the sign, then entering the city. After arriving at the final bus stop, the bus stopped and the back door opened.

"Last stop, Bikini Bottom, passengers must exit through the back door" the voice of the bus driver, who had his classic 'Man, i'm so tired' look on his face, echoed through the entire bus, who had only one passenger.

The passenger exited the bus, and after getting his first steps out of the bus, we can now see it was actually a squirrel!

A squirrel in Bikini Bottom, what a surprise! Last time I saw one was… well, you know.

"Ah, put a sock on it"

The squirrel had a brown fur like Sandy, along with her bugling eyes and buck teeth, with the minor difference that his tail was severely shorter and fuzzier, and that he had a short black hair. The interesting thing… is that he wasn't wearing an astronaut-esque suit like Sandy, he was instead wearing normal clothes: Blue jeans, black dress shoes, a t-shirt that had a splattered mix of various colors in a psychedelic manner, and that he had a strange black device on his nose. As luggage, he was carrying a small brown case on his right hand and a big guitar-shaped case that was on his back.

"Ah, what a nice day to be in… wait, where am i?" the squirrel then scratched his head in confusion, he had a soft Russian accent "Bikini Bottom? It sounds like panties" he looked around "I like it"

The squirrel then began to walk around, looking at everything, from the streets, to the buildings "My! For a subaquatic city, this looks kinda… promising" he echoed "Perhaps this might be good place" he then realized he got out of the city "What?" he then looked around, seemingly out in the nowhere "Where am i now?"

"I'M READY! I'M READY!" a squeaky, high pitched voice could be hear from afar.

"Huh?"

Before he could imagine it, he bumped onto something and fell onto the ground. Upon grunting and getting back up, his eyes made contact with certain sponge, who was on the ground.

"Ugh, watch it, fella!" the squirrel grunted.

"Oh, my apologies" Spongebob blurted out as he also stood up. He was wearing his Krusty Krab cap and had his spatula in hand "Wait… Sandy?" he gasped as he looked at the squirrel "What are you doing without your suit?!"

"Shto?"

"Don't worry Sandy, i will give you oxygen no matter what!" Spongebob cried, then hugged the squirrel close to him "Just stick to me!"

"Hey!" the squirrel then pushed Spongebob away" I dunno what are you talking about, but i am not whoever you say!"

Upon hearing his voice, Spongebob suddenly blinked twice "Wait, you're no Sandy!"

"F'curse not, dude!" the squirrel snapped.

"Well…" Spongebob rubbed his chin, then immediately lend out his free hand to him with a smile "Hi! I'm Spongebob Squarepants, and you are…?"

"Moorhead" the squirrel replied, not moving, signalizing that he rejected the hand shake "Fisher Rasmus Moorhead"

"Oh!" Spongebob then put his hand down "And… what brings you here?"

"I'm a globetrotter, i stumbled upon here, and i'm kinda hungry, do you know a place where i…?"

Hunger, that's a Word even someone like Spongebob could understand clearly "Oh, you're hungry?!"

"Yes, that's…"

Spongebob quickly grabbed his arm, starting to run towards the direction he was initially going "Say no more! Let me guide you to the perfect food place, the almighty Krusty Krab!"

Spongebob was running without moving while grasping onto the squirrel, now known as Fisher, who was just standing there, looking at the friendly sponge. Upon realizing that, he stopped and looked at his back with disbelief.

"What the horses are you doing?" Fisher asked.

"You said you were hungry, and i just know the perfect place!" Spongebob cheered "The Krusty Krab, Bikini Bottom's best restaurant in the whole World, home of the Krabby Patty, the best…"

"Whoah whoah whoah!" Fisher stopped him "Burgers? But… i'm vegetarian!"

"Oh well" Spongebob shrugged with a smile "We also serve salads and diet drinks for people like you"

"People like me?" the squirrel rose an eyebrow "What do you mean by that?" he slowly glared at him "Are you implying i…"

"No no no no no no no!" Spongebob quickly interrupted him shaking his hands and head at a big speed, not stopping. Even after talking, he was still shaking, so Fisher just sighed and grabbed his head and hand, stopping him.

"Then?"

"Well, the Krusty Krab, where also i have the honor to work in, has the healthiest food in even the whole Pacific Ocean!"

"That's big words you know!" Fisher then quickly snapped "Wait wait wait, you said… Pacific Ocean?"

"Yes!"

"Gee, didn't realized we were THAT far!"

"Far from where?"

Fisher then snapped again, shaking his head "Nevermind" he then looked at him "Friendly cheese, take me to that restaurant!"

"Hey!" Spongebob briefly glared at him "I'm a sponge!"

"Gruyere sponge then it is"

"Gru… what?"

"Nevermind, i'm following you"

"This way!" and after saying that, Spongebob resumed his daily jogging "I'm ready, i'm…"

"Can you ever run without screaming? I imagine the whole city can hear you!"

"Sorry" Spongebob giggled "Let's go!"

"Right behind you" Fisher sighed as Spongebob began to jog once again, following him. He feared he would regret his decision of following him.

Minutes later, both Fisher and our favorite sponge arrived at the famous restaurant. Upon glancing at the Krusty Krab clam sign that was at the top of the tall pole, Fisher looked at Spongebob.

"Is this the place?"

"Sure it is!" Spongebob nodded, then took a breath and exhaled "Ah, i love the good old fast food smell in the morning!"

"Really? Cuz all i can smell is…" the globetrotter then sniffed around "Ew!" he flinched.

"You're so funny!" Spongebob chuckled. Fear not, squirrel, that commentary wasn't enough to make him laugh uncontrollably as he always does, something very, VERY annoying for every sea creature in Bikini Bottom "I like you, you know that?"

"Well, as much as i can care… thanks!"

"Let's get in, shall we?"

"A'ight" he nodded.

Both entered the famous restaurant, and the first thing they could hear, are the bell that rang upon both entering. Fisher then had a first glance of the indoors, there were so many Bikini Bottomytes eating in their tables, some were kids and others were customers that were formed in line in front of the cashier, who was the grumpy ol' Squidward, with the same stare as always, hating his job (And maybe the entire universe).

"Can i have a Krabby Patty?"

"Well, no shoot" Squidward replied with his unchanged expression on his face "That'll be 4.99"

"4.99?!" the fish, who was the blue shark-like with White shirt and blue shorts, called Harold, yelled with anger "But it was half the Price yesterday! This is a robbery!"

"Sir, if i might give a thousand decameters of darn about that, then i would suggest you to inform my manager about the recent price raise" Squidward sighed while pointing at Mr. Krabs' office door at his back right side, then lowered his arm "But i don't, so i am only authorized to say that it's the inflation" he shrugged without even moving his eyebrow or anything, still retaining his same facial expression "Supply and demand, you must get used to it"

"ARGH!" Harold yelled, then took a breath "FINE! But only because the food in here is the only thing worth it, alright?!" he glared at him while taking off his wallet from his pocket and giving him a 5-dollar bill, then handed it to the grumpy cashier.

"Thanks for ordering at the Krusty Krab, your order will come as soon as possible" Squidward quickly grabbed the bill, pressed some buttons on his cashier, and placed the bill inside, closing it.

"Where's my change?"

"It's for taxes"

"WHAT?!"

"Mr. Krabs might say that customer is always right, but…"

"THAT'S NOT TRUE, MR. SQUIDRWARD!"

That voice came from Mr. Krabs' office, and in a sudden blink of an eye, the mentioned crab quickly came out of his office, running towards the protesting customer, kinda angry "Excuse me, Mr. Customer, but what i really meant is that MONEY is always right, and if taxes say that you must have no change, then so be it"

"But why?!" Harold protested as the other customers behind him also began to protest like him.

"I'm sorry to inform you that EVERY penny counts, and that's final" and with that said, the business magnate recovered his calm and relaxed him, then head back to his office, closing the door.

"WHAT A SCAM!"

"YEAH!"

"I'M UNHAPPY! WHERE'S THE MANAGER?!"

"THAT CRAB IT IS!"

"Hey, shut it"

Every customer in line then stopped looking and protesting angrily against the uninterested cashier and turned their heads at their back. It was Fisher who said that.

"Mind your own business, rodent!" the blue shark fish, who was leading the protest, marched angrily towards Fisher "Last thing we need is support against the big corporations"

"And you are a hippy to even care?"

"Dude, screw you!"

Harold then gave Fisher a punch, but the squirrel suddenly stopped him by swiftly dodging it and grabbing it. Harold then began to struggle, but Fisher's strength was bigger. As he started to flinch and sweat while trying to win the struggle, Fisher was calm "You better calm down or else" he grunted slowly, his Russian accent becoming ticker and ticker. After saying that, he quickly grabbed his arm and engaged in a back arm lock, twisting his arm and holding him from behind

"Oh no!" Spongebob couldn't believe it "Fisher, please, don't hurt him!"

"Give him a lesson" Squidward was seeing the entire scene without any shock, looking at his magazine.

"Hey dude, uncle, uncle!"

"Aunt, aunt"

"Please, Fisher, put him down! You're jeopardizing the Krusty Krab!"

"As. You. Wish" Fisher then pushed him away, making him fall to the ground.

"It's cool man, not hungry anymore, you can keep the money, i'm off, i'm off!"

The fish then quickly got up and ran away from the restaurant. Upon realizing that a customer ran away, Mr. Krabs came out of his office at light-speed.

"WHAT THE BARNACLES HAPPENED?! WHY MY COUNTER WENT DOWN BY ONE?!"

Spongebob gasped, not only the restaurant's integrity was at risk, but also his own job. Spongebob then ran towards his boss "Mr. Krabs, i can explain, i…"

"MR. SQUIDWARD!" Mr. Krabs looked at his employee.

"Ahoy"

"I JUST HAVE ONE QUESTION!" he growled, slowly turning his head at Fisher, sounding like metal twisting. He then regained his smile "Where on the world were you when i needed you?!"

"Quesquesé?"

The greedy manager quickly ran towards Fisher and folded an arm around his back "You're a jewel indeed, lad!"

"What do you…"

"Between you and me…" he whispered "You're the perfect new security guard for this, so whadya say?" he proposed "Wanna be the new brawn of the Krusty Krab? I promise to you that you will have a fairy acceptable payment"

"Eh…" Fisher was nervous, rubbing the back of his head "Look, i…"

"MR. KRABS!"

Both then turned against their backs to look at certain sponge employee "You cannot hire him!"

Krabs utilized once again his formidable speed to quickly get to Spongebob and cover his mouth "Shush Spongebob, don't you see i'm seeing business in here?!"

"But boss, he…"

"SHUSH!"

"I actually want to post my opinion"

"HUH?!"

Both sea creatures looked back at Fisher, who was standing there with his arms crossed.

"I only want a salad, cause i don't like burgers, meat is bad, really bad"

"Say no more!" Mr. Krabs replied with an ear-to-ear grin, then looked at Spongebob "Quick, my boy, go make this guy some fine seaweed and tomato salad!"

"And some medium fries and a BIG cola!"

"… And some fries and A BIG SODA!" money signs came as Mr. Krab's pupils.

"Again with the money" Squidward sighed.

"MR. SQUIDWARD!"

Fisher then walked towards the cashier boat "I want the best salad you have, some medium fries and…"

"Yeah yeah, i heard you, that'll be 13.50"

"Gee, i am gonna complain" Fisher mumbled under his breath as he rummaged through his pocket and drew out his wallet from them.

"MUNNY!" Mr. Krabs' pupils once again turned into dollar signs, which never faded even after blinking. After that, he glared at Spongebob, who was still next to him "Spongebob, get to work already! And remember, money is always right!" was the last thing he said before heading back to his office.

"Aye aye, cap'n!" Spongebob saluted at him with his spatula, then ran towards the kitchen.

Fisher then sighed at the whole scene, then walked towards an empty table "This whole place is crazy" he sighed "I wonder what more surprises i could find today?"

Technically, Fisher could be the master of having hunches, cuz the next thing that happened, was that Sandy Cheeks quickly entered into the scene, donning her diving suit which allowed her to be underwater and slam-opening the door "HELL-O Krusty Krab!"

Fisher quickly turned around to see the source of such big noise and his jaw fell to the ground upon seeing the female squirrel "Hell-o there…" he whispered.

"SPONGEBOB, ARE YOU THERE?!" Sandy squeaked as she walked towards the cashier boat.

"He's busy, come back whenever i feel like it" Squidward groaned, still Reading his magazine.

"Well, shucks!" Sandy slammed her fist against her hand "In the meantime, i want a LARGE cola, i love cola!"

"That'll be 6.50"

"It's oke, i have your munny" Sandy then quickly rummaged through his suit's single pocket and drew out the exact amount of money, smashing it into the cashier boat, making it shake and also making Squidward jump in surprise, landing on his head with the magazine covering his head.

"Agh…"

"I'll just wait for my order then" Sandy then looked around for a place to seat, and it was THERE when her eyes made contact with Fisher's. Sandy quickly directed all her attention towards him. She was surprised to see another mammal (Besides Pearl) to ever be underwater. More precisely, she was SHOCKED to see specifically a squirrel!

"Uh… you miss something?"

Sandy quickly dashed towards Fisher and sat in the chair that was in front of him on the table "Well, i'll be darned, i never expected to see a squirrel over here!"

"Well…"

"Name's Sandra Jennifer Cheeks, but you may call me Sandy"

"Or maybe i won't call you since i don't have your number"

After a brief silence, Sandy started to laugh "You're so funny, i'll give ya that!"

"Well, the name's Moorhead, Fisher Moorhead, and i…"

Sandy was completely oblivious to the fact that Fisher was wearing casual clothes and not a diving suit liker her… or even a glass helmet. Upon realizing it, she gasped "How can you be like this?! Don't you need air? I can give you some, if you…"

"It's oke, i have this" he interrupted her, pointing at his nose device.

"What's that?" Sandy looked at it awkwardly.

"Well, it's what i call… a Respirator Implant"

"Respirator Implant?"

"Yeah, it's a complex device" Fisher nodded "It's hard to explain if you're not into science, but it basically gives the wielder a kinda special nano-shield that protects him or her from the dangers of underwater of the vacuum of space"

"I understood EVERYTHING"

"You did?"

"Yeah, you're not the only one who's into science here" Sandy chuckled as she pointed at herself with a prideful expression on his face "But let's not brag about it, let me ask you: Where did you get that?"

"Ah, my father invented it, he was good inventor"

Another thing Sandy didn't realized until now, was Fisher's accent "Whoah, are you a… commie?"

"Wha?"

"You know, a Russian"

"Well… i am Lithuanian, but i was born before the Soviet Union disbanded, so i can be technically called a Soviet"

"A commie, communist, right?"

"Yeah… that"

"Well, commie or not… i like you!"

Fisher slightly blushed "Well… thanks"

"You're welcome! After all, we can be tighter than bark on a tree!"

"Huh?"

Sandy then placed her arms on the table and got slightly closer to Fisher "So… what brings you here to Bikini Bottom?"

"I'm a self-proclaimer adventurer, more like a globetrotter" Fisher chuckled, so basically i…" he then suddenly bumped his head with Sandy's crystal helmet "Ow!"

"Oh, so sorry" Sandy quickly backed away, blushing a little "It's just that…"

"Oh, it's oke" Fisher laughed, then placed a comforting hand on Sandy's helmet "It's not your fault you're condemned into this Sputnik suit"

"Well…" Sandy frowned.

"Tell you what" Fisher quickly shushed her by placing a finger on her lips, or at least, in front of her lips "Since you're a scientist, i'll let you have my Respirator Implant so you can experience the goodness of living underwater"

"But… if you give me yours, then… how would you live in here?"

"I'm passing through here for a while, next place i am gonna visit is Southern USA"

"Oh, hah" Sandy chuckled "Funny, cuz i'm from Texas, YEE-HAH!"

"Then, Sandra milady, it's an honor to know you" Fisher smiled.

"Well…" Sandy rubbed her chin (Oh come on, i'm trying! XD) "Tell you what, i'll invite you to stay in my Treedome for a while, until i'll be able to replicate your invention" she proposed with a smile.

"Treedome?"

"Yeah, you will know when you look at it" she replied with a nod, then drew out a piece of paper from inside her suit, it was a map "Here, this will show you the location" she handed the map to her.

Fisher then grabbed the map and examined it "Hmm, funny" he briefly glanced at her "How does this 'You are here' tell me exactly where am i? What if i were in a different place?" he joked.

Sandy then laughed "You're so funny"

"Well, Mrs. Cheeks, i'll be passing-by your home soon, thanks for the invitation" Fisher smiled as he wrapped the map and placed i ton his pocket.

"Order up!"

They both recognized that nice, happy-go-lucky voice, and instantly looked at the kitchen's direction, Spongebob was coming with two trays in both hands.

"Mother, you seem to be good waiter, holding two trays without losing balance" Fisher complimented.

"Years of working here" Spongebob replied with arrogance while placing both trays on the table, then noticed Sandy "Oh hey Sandy, how's it goin'?"

"Hey Spongebob" Sandy waved "Listen, i wanted to talk to you"

"Really?" Spongebob's eyes widened. Could it be?

"Yes, to tell you that today's weekly sparring session couldn't be, since i'll be working on a complex experiment"

Spongebob then gave a wide grin "Oh Sandy, that's the most beautiful thi… what?" his bubble suddenly popped.

"Yeah, you really know i've been busy these days, i just… wanted to tell you that, and say sorry"

"Oh bull!"

"You mean bummer?" Fisher pointed out.

"Yeah, that" Spongebob sighed "Well, i just hope you succeed"

"Thanks, Bob" Sandy smiled.

There was an awkward silence between the three.

"Hey, wanna hear a good joke?" Fisher chortled, breaking the silence.

"Oh goodness, here we go" Sandy chuckled as she shook her head.

"If you can't tune a piano, you can't TUNA FISH!"

"Here we go again…"

Spongebob stood there, thinking "If you can't tune a piano, you…" his eyes then widened "Ooooooh" he then began to laugh uncontrollably and loudly "GOOD ONE!"

Spongebob's laughs could be heard even miles away, Squidward's relaxing reading was quickly disrupted by that familiar laughter "SPONGEBOB, FOR NEPTUNE'S SAKE! NOT AGAIN!"

Spongebob's laughter couldn't stop. Not even a second.

"SPONGEBOB, GET BACK TO WORK ALREADY!"

Spongebob didn't needed his common sense to… AH! WHAT THE HECK! Everyone with a little bit of brain, and even the dumbest guy ever, would know that that voice was none but from Mr. Krabs, who was standing behind Spongebob with an angry look on his face. He was only off for a minute (And his job was hanging on a string for that time wasted), but it didn't mattered for someone who thinks that time is money.

"There are some customers waiting for their meals, get right back on it!" the selfish, money-digging cheapskate, treasure-hoarding, capitalist and completely rich-searching crab growled.

Spongebob's laughter stopped immediately, and after that, the upper body part of his body turned around to face Mr. Krabs "Oh, sorry Mr. Krabs, right on it!" he then turned around his body to look at both squirrels "Well, see you guys later!" he then began to walk reverse while they could hear the reverse beep sound.

Fisher then looked at Sandy "Is he crazy? He's going reverse!" he asked while pointing at the body-twisted sponge reversing all the way back to the kitchen.

"He's just Spongebob, that's all" Sandy giggled, then realized her tray with her coke was there "Oh darn, i forgot to ask that my meal was to go!" she cursed in disbelief, but she then suddenly saw that Fisher placed a Krusty Krab paper bag in front of her "Huh? Where did you get that from?"

Fisher then laughed "I stole it from that no-good squid before getting here"

"Well, bad you" Sandy chuckled as she grabbed her coke and placed it inside her new to go paper bag.

"Listen… you can also have my fries, i only want the salad"

"Oh why thank you" Sandy smiled, then grabbed the fries and placed them on her bag too, then stood up "So… you comin'?"

"Where?"

"To my Treedome, silly!" Sandy laughed "Unless you have something more important to do, then…"

"Oh no no no!" Fisher also stood up "I was thinking on staying in here to eat my salad, but since you want me to come with you now, then i guess i could eat my salad on your… how was it called?"

"Treedome, funded by Treedome Enterprises Inc."

"Inc. Is right!"

"Hee hee" Sandy giggled "Let's go then?"

"Right behind you"

10 MINUTES LATER…

"… so after the Union fell, i was offered with a placed on the brand new intelligence office, i didn't wanted at first, but how could you ever say no to Gorbachev?"

The whole way towards Sandy's household, the squirrels were chatting.

Sandy giggled "And then what?"

"Well… I dunno exactly, but it was awesome!"

"Say… what is such a weird squirrel doing in here?" Sandy looked at him in a kinda-smitten way.

"Well…" Fisher looked at her the same way "I was just gonna ask you the same"

Both stared at each other with the same look. For seconds. For minutes. For hou- no, for minutes.

Finally, Sandy snapped out of it "Oh, we're here!"

She was right, they certainly arrived at the Treedome. Fisher took his first glance at it's might, then walked around it a few steps while passing his hand through the polyurethane glass. The next thing he did, was whistle "Nice place, with oxygen and such" he chuckled as he glanced at the Treedome's functional oxygen tank.

"Are we getting' in or… you just wanna keep admiring it by the outside?" Sandy was already entering the front door.

"Oh, right" Fisher nodded as he followed her.

They both entered the Treedome's pressure area, Sandy closed the door "Now what?"

"Wait, we need to de-pressure the place, no water must be in or out"

"I don't get it"

"Just watch"

Sandy then pressed the 'Drain' button, and after a loud buzzing sounds, the water began to drain off the room.

"BARRACUDA 1, this is BARRACUDA 2, come in" Fisher chortled, to which Sandy looked at him awkwardly "Sorry, just a joke"

"You're a funny guy" the female squirrel giggled.

After all the water drained out, Sandy walked towards the door and opened it "Welcome to my house!"

Upon giving his first steps inside, Fisher took a glance at the Treedome's inside. It looked like a nice place to him. A tree, a picnic table, and even a hamster wheel. 'What's this place' he thought, he never saw anything like this, a small air-filled world underwater? This is completely uncommon, even for him.

"Wanna get in?"

Fisher quickly snapped out of it and looked at Sandy, and his eyes widened. She took off her diving suit while Fisher was looking around, and he could see that she was wearing a bikini, admiring her real beauty.

"Sandy!" Fisher gasped "You're…!"

"I'm what?" Sandy rose an eyebrow.

"In your undies" Fisher giggled.

"Huh? This is my usual attire when I'm here, and it's very comfy, y'know" Sandy laughed "You don't wear anything when you're at land? Those threads are surely wet!"

Fisher looked at his clothes. She was right, being in the water and coming to a dry place meant that his clothes will be surely wet. Water dripping non-stop from his wet clothes and his luggage.

"Here"

Sandy quickly gave Fisher a towel so he can dry out, at least a little.

"Thanks"

"So… wanna take off those wet threads while you're here? I can dry them out, and you can be in your 'undies' too while you're here, tho" Sandy smiled while adding quotes.

"Huh? Err… I wouldn't prefer it"

"Ah, come on, don't tell me you have something to hide!" Sandy laughed "If you wish, I can lower the Treedome's metal cover so no one sees you in your undies"

Fisher thought it for a second. It was enough to be in someone's house and see that someone in her undies, but being on his undies too? That's really weird. But… she had a point, he couldn't be in his wet clothes all time, he could catch a cold.

"Fine" Fisher then started to take off his soggy clothes "But brace yourself"

"Aaaand how!"

Fisher took off his wet and slightly heavier shirt, showing that he had a mild muscular body build. Sandy's eyes widened, she never thought someone like him could have a good and muscular body as him, the last person se saw that was like that, was certain lobster that only god knows why she didn't fell in love with him yet. Sandy finally had the strength to speak after a long staring session "My, never thought I'd said this, but that's a REAL build!"

"I told you to brace yourself" Fisher replied while taking off his pants, he was wearing black boxers as underwear.

"Want me to get you a set of clothes?"

"Yeah, like if you would have some" Fisher chortled "That's fine, Sandra, I don't wanna cause you any further trouble"

"No no, you wouldn't, i swear!"

"Nah"

After finishing taking off his clothes, Fisher picked them up and handed them to her "I suppose I'll stay in here for a while then"

"Specially because I will need THAT" Sandy then pointed at Fisher's nose Respirator Implant.

"What do you mean?"

"I will need to reverse-engineer it in order to replicate more of 'em"

"Dis…assemble it?"

"I promise I will reassemble it back in no time, pinky promise!"

Fisher then sighed, he would really have to sacrifice his father's invention to someone he barely knew. But she was a scientist! Or at least, it looks like it, she would know what she is doing "Fine, but no pinky"

"Huh?"

"Nothing"

Fisher then reached out his finger, pressed a TINY button that was at the back of the Respirator Implant, and slowly took it off "It has a de-attachment mechanism you need to press in order to take it off, that way it will stay still and won't de-attach by force" he told her as he handed the device to her.

"Hmmm, your father must have been a genius"

"You can't imagine" he chuckled.

Sandy examined the device closely. Apart from the small mucus remains in the nostril parts of the device, which she didn't cared, she noticed it had a small Soviet Union logo on it "Hmm, by a closer view, I can see it isolates the oxygen atoms from the H2O molecules in order to assemble them back into oxygen molecules, and placing them into a filter, which…"

Fisher looked at her with a smitten-ish expression on his look while she was giving her Science chatter 'She's pretty and smart' he thought, and he never felt that way since…

"Fisher?"

"Huh?"

"I asked you, how does this thing power up?"

"Oh, with… a small lithium battery, you can get it in any place where I come from!"

"Oh, nice, I can also replicate it" Sandy smiled "When I get to mass-produce this things, those chimps will surely pay me a lot for this, and I won't have to work for YEARS!"

"Chimps?"

"Yeah, didn't I told you? Treedome Enterprises is funded by three wise chimps, who occasionally come to see my inventions and decide if I'm still fit for the project"

"Oh, so that's your income?"

"You can say it that way, yes"

"Well, I'm surely glad to help someone from my cause"

"Do you still remember I'm from Texas, USA, right?"

"I know, I just wanted to say it" Fisher chuckles "Besides, USA wins, numero uno" he uttered in a Mexican-esque accent.

"Eh, that's Spanish"

"I know"

"Well…" Sandy chuckled awkwardly while rubbing the back of her head "If you wanna sit and eat your salad, there's a picnic table over there" she smiled as she pointed at her table.

"Nice, cuz I am lot'sa hungry" Fisher smiled as he walked towards the table and sat down.

"Make yourself at home!"

"Thanks"

"No need to thank me, I should thank YOU, by giving me this state-of-the-art thingy!" she replied before walking towards inside her tree with Fisher's clothes in one hand, and his Respirator Implant in the other one "After all this, I'll surely impress those chimps and I'll get MORE funding for sure!" were her final words as she completely entered her tree and left the scene.

"Tighter than bark… on a tree" Fisher remembered those words the female squirrel told her "What does that… even mean?" he asked himself while walking around, then shrugged "Oh well, I am hungry"

AN HOUR LATER…

Fisher was finishing up his meal, when suddenly, he inexplicably spotted something. He then squinted his eyes to see at the distance: It was Spongebob! He was prematurely wearing his water helmet and was carrying a bouquet of roses while singing a happy song in synchrony with the sound his shoes as he was walking that were ringing through the squirrel's ears.

"Talk about soles" he huffed.

Upon reaching the first door, Spongebob also squinted his eyes and spotted Fisher. His eyes widened as he reached his finger while trying to press the 'Drain' button, but missing.

Fisher just ignored the sponge's stupidity and limited himself to giving a small wave at him.

Correctly pressing the button and quickly draining all of the water, Spongebob opened the door, closed it, and walked towards the squirrel "Oh, hey Fisher, didn't expected to see you here…" he then stopped and saw his underwear "And in… that way" he pointed with his finger.

"It's just what you see, pal" he chuckled.

"What are you doing in Sandy's Treedome anyways?"

"Well, turns out he needed to investigate that device I told you so he can mass-produce it, so… if you wanna see her, then grab a seat and wait, cuz I'll give her another hour" Fisher replied "Wait, weren't you working?"

"Yeah, Mr. Krabs gave me the day since most of the Krusty Krab customers left while you were there, funny" Spongebob was so naïve, he couldn't realize he lost a day of payment because of Fisher. Not that… he cared about payment, he just loves work.

"Ah, pussies"

"What?"

"Nothing" Fisher shook his head, then noticed the flowers "For her?" he pointed at them.

"Huh?" Spongebob quickly looked at the roses, and then nervously hid them behind his wide square back "N-No, it's… for Gary!"

Fisher them smirked "Bobby, dude, I realize what's going on in here, you small hummingbird"

"H-Huh? NO! It's n-not what it looks like?" he was sweating and shaking.

"Spongebob…" Fisher then slowly got up "I may be an aggressive godus, as a friend once told me, but I am not a fool, I knew you were in love with Sandra since the first moment I saw you see her at the burger parlor"

Spongebob sighed "Well, wanted to keep it secret, but… yah, I am over my heels with that smart, pretty squirrel, but I cannot tell her yet, since I am afraid she would reject me" he explained "She once told me that we could be tighter than bark on a tree"

Bark on a tree…

Bark on a tree…

Fisher's head became what can be described as a Nirvana upon hearing that words, a whirlwind span around his mind while in the outside, he was with a shocked, eye-widened expression on his face, mouth gaping in shock.

"Uh, Fisher? Are you… okay?"

The male squirrel finally snapped out of it, shaking his head "Oh, sorry, I believe I haven't heard you, did you just said… tighter than bark on a tree?" he asked with a smile and cleaning his ear

"Yeah, why?"

"Cuz I believe…" he was understanding the whole scene here. Male squirrel, female squirrel, living in an isolated place from the outer world, depending on a spacesuit to live outside. It was obvious, Sandy… was becoming in love with him! I mean, someone… like Sandy? Falling in love? With someone who is on the politically opposite side?

"Fisher?"

He snapped out of it again "Cuz I believe, that she once told me that she doesn't said that to anybody, EVER! Except one person, and… she told me that that person was to become her special somebody" he lied. HE didn't wanted to take off that enthusiastic mood he always had, even though he barely knew him.

Spongebob, dropping the bouquet of roses, gasped with his eyes widened "REALLY?!"

"Absolutely"

"Whaaaa?!" it is inevitable that right now, upon reading this, you must picture Spongebob's most happiest smile in your mind

Spongebob quickly ran towards the tree, but Fisher quickly stopped him by grabbing him from behind "Whoah whoah whoah, fella, easy!"

"But Sandy loves me, I know it! I must tell her!"

"Patience, bobby!" Fisher pulled him to the ground "Women need time, don't you think?"

"Huh?"

"Patience is a virtue, you just cannot tell her 'I love you' just like that!"

"But we've been friends for a long time, I am pretty sure she'll understand"

"Point taken" Fisher nodded "But still, you need to profess your love for her, SLOWLY"

"Slowly? And how am I gonna do that with all this excitement?"

"Luckily, you have my support"

"Really, thanks!" Spongebob smiled "And… what must I do first?"

"Throw away those flowers and start treating her nicer than before, but in a controlled manner, tell her that you're indirectly reciprocating her feelings"

"Okay, okay"

"And for the love of god… start acting more maturely!"

"Oh?"

"Yes, women do not love men who act like… kids!"

"Kids…?"

"Yeah!"

"So… Mr. Casanova…" Spongebob chuckled "What's your secret, huh?" he then nudged his shoulder.

"Hey!" Fisher chuckled as he pretended to rub his shoulder in pain "Easy, I need it" he smiled "Actually, I was just born with it"

"Wow really?"

"Yeah… born with it"

"Riiiiight"

"Whatever" Fisher sighed "Meet me at your house in about an hour, I'll give you some advice"

"Gotcha!" Spongebob saluted at him, then quickly turned towards the door direction, accidentally dropping the flowers, and quickly ran off the treedome at an immeasurable speed.

"If only Igor Polyanski ran THAT fast at the triathlon of the latest Summer Olympics…" Fisher sighed to himself, then realized the bouquet of roses on the ground "Hey, cheesesteak!" he yelled while quickly running towards the Treedome glass while swiftly grabbing the roses" YOU FORGOT YOUR PACKAGE!" he yelled at the top of his lungs while knocking the glass-polyurethane "AND YOU HAVEN'T TOLD ME WHERE DO YOU LIVE!" he yelled and knocked again, then resigned and sighed deeply "I'll… figure it out"

"What are those yelling?"

"Huh?"

Fisher turned around to see that Sandy, already finished with his respirator implant and with it reassembled on her hand, walked towards him "You could wake up an entire bull herd with that voice of yours" she giggled, then handed him his invention "Here, I've managed to enhance it that you'll no longer have your clothes soaked" she smiled.

Fisher, upon realizing by a quick side-look that he still had the flowers on his hand, and that it would be a no-brainer to know that HIM giving Her the flowers would be a no-no, quickly started sweating "Wow… really?" he laughed nervously while grabbing the invention with one hand, and hiding the roses with the other one.

"Yeah, it's just a matter of making a force-field that isolates the…" Sandy quickly noticed that the male squirrel was hiding something "What's… that?" she pointed at his hidden hand.

"What? What were you saying about… the invention?" he tried to pull off the conversation.

"Those look like…"

"Uh, isolate the… wha…?"

Sandy squinted her eyes to have a deeper look, and doing that and by the fact that when Fisher is nervous, he slightly moves his hands, she finally realized what were those "F-Flowers?!"

"Huh?!"

"F-For me?!"

"HUH?! NO! EH! AH! ERR! UH! BLYAT!"

Sandy's cheek turned pink at that moment "How sweet of you, thank you!" she squealed, then quickly snatched the flowers, but Fisher didn't let go of them. What a déjà vu, Sandy then narrowed her eyes and then struggled to grab the flower from him, finally succeeding , then smiled while eyeing the roses "Oh, and those are roses? I mean, those aren't my favorites, but they must be really expensive!" she then sniffed them "Dang, roses smell SO GOOD!"

Fisher just stayed there, frozen and shocked.

"I'll put them in a vase, be right back!"

After saying that, Sandy happily walked towards her tree and closed the door.

STUPID! STUPID STOOPID!

THOSE FLOWERS WERE FROM SPONGEBOB!

YOU'RE GONNA RUIN IT ALL!

You bastard, you must not fall in love with the locals, what's wrong with you? She may be pretty and all, but still! REMEMBER!

Echoes through Fisher's mind as he kept standing there, like an idiot.

"Hi!"

And, talking about idiots…

Fisher suddenly snapped, and after shaking his head, he quickly turned around at his back. Patrick was standing there, stupidly sticking his face to the glass, making faces.

Fisher couldn't believe the level of stupidity, but he was tolerant at everything and non-discriminative "So… what's your story?" he asked incoherently.

Patrick then quickly sucked his face off, drooling "Uh, you must be Fishy, right?"

"Fisher"

"Yeah… that" Patrick chuckled "See, Spongebob told me he does know you, and forgot to tell you where's your house, so he'd sent me to tell you" he then turned around "It is over there, going through the residential uh, thingy of Bikini Bottom, crossing the street and…"

Who is this sack of pus without brain and how does HE know I must got to Spongebob's house. Could it be that that tell taller…?

"Uh, Fisher?"

Fisher quickly shook his head again "Da… yeah?"

"My name is Patrick, I'm Spongebob's best friend, by the way"

"Well, nice to meet you… Ristar"

"Ristar" Patrick chuckled, then laughed, then started laughing, then burst into laughter, then burst into an incontrollable laughter as he began to run away while weaving his hands savagely, getting out of the scene.

Fisher just looked at him with an eyebrow raised "So… is he like that always, or…?"

"TARNATION!"

"Huh?!"

Fisher turned around to see that Sandy was standing there, holding an enormous flower vase filled with water and the big bouquet of roses on it "Aren't these SO beautiful?!"

"Uh, yeah"

"I'll place them on the table and they'll last a long semester!"

"That's… nice, but…"

But before Fisher could continue, Sandy walked towards him, with a smitten expression on his face "Y'know, I haven't gave you your prize for such kindness yet" she then blinked three times, trying to entice her. The movement of her eyelashes seemed to pierce through Fisher's 'shields'

"A… a… a…"

But he was then interrupted by a kiss on the cheeks.

If Sandy's cheeks were previously pink, Fisher's cheeks at that moment were not red, SCARLET! As red as the former Soviet Union flag!

Sandy backed away a little, and blushing as red as Fisher's communism, she then giggled "Ya know, this is the first time I actually kiss someone" she then blushed more, her entire face turned red "I-In the cheek, I meant, not the lips, nor anything else, y-y'all" she quickly added, giggling and sweating (A/N: I think… there's an official canon comic where Sandy actually kisses SB in the cheeks, check it out!).

Fisher just stood there, totally frozen.

"Well, what d'ya think 'bout it, huh?" she still giggled.

Fisher was totally touched, he slowly rose up his hand to rub his kissed cheek.

Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't

"Fisher…?"

Fisher quickly snapped out of it "Huh?"

"Did that made you… uncomfortable?" she frowned. First time she ever 'expressed her love' to anyone, first time she ever felt that anyone rejected him.

"Ah? Oh, no no, that was… cute, indeed!"

"Well, glad ya like it!"

"Anyways, i… gotta go buy some stuff at the groceries, so may I please have my clothes back? If they are dried?"

"Sure thing, gonna get them on a minute!" she cheered, then happily walked-skipped towards her tree in a cheerful mood.

"She looks so cute like that" Fisher muttered to himself. His right first, first clenched, then rose up and quickly slapped his face "Oh, you're right, Fisher, what are you doing? You're not supposed to do that! Spongebob loves and knows her more than me!" he then gasped "Wait, did I just said that I loved her, of course not! I don't! I DON'T!"

Sound of crickets.

"Oh, this is so dumb, talking to myself, I just hope Spongebob won't mid if I take an hour in trying to find his house, or whatever" Fisher frowned.

2 HOURS LATER…

Spongebob was on his pineapple house, walking back and forth at the pace of his clock ticking.

"Come on, where are you, you told me you were gonna be here in an hour!"

Gary slithered towards Spongebob, then looked at him worriedly, then meowed.

"Huh?" Spongebob turned at his back to look at his beloved pet "Oh, hi Gary!"

Gary meowed.

"Huh? No, I am not late for work or anything, I am just… waiting for someone"

Gary meowed.

"It's… some new friend I made, a special friend who…"

Gary interrupted him by meowing again.

"Yeah, it has to see with Sandy, oh Sand…" he then stopped "Wait!" then glared at Sandy with an akimbo "What are you implying, Gary?"

Gary meowed while looking at Spongebob inquisitively.

"No Gary, we've been through this for days! I AM NOT in love with Sandy, okay? We're just friends, alright?!"

Gary then turned away from his owner and slithered away, giving a last meow in a sarcastic tone of voice.

"Really!" Spongebob yelled at his leaving pet, then frowned and walked towards the window "Really, Gary… really" he sighed.

The doorbell then rang.

"FedEX special service! We may have gotten a package for Spongebob!"

Spongebob suddenly gasped "That voice…" he then immediately ran towards the door and opened it, revealing Fisher, who just simply marched inside.

"Phew, I really thought I was gonna be mistaken, good thing I was told some directions!"

"You mean you didn't had any trouble in finding my house at all?" Spongebob smiled a bit.

"Eh…"

5 MINUTES EARLIER…

"Jehovah witnesses! We find Mr. Squarepants for an enlightenment chat!" Fisher was knocking Squidward's door soundly.

"WHAT THE HECK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!" Squidward immediately opened the door "I WAS PRACTICING MY…"

Fisher suddenly grabbed Squidward's nose and pulled his face near to his, changing the octopus' expression from anger to sudden fear "Now CHU listen to me: I've been finding Spongebob's house for HOURS, so if you don't be nice to me as of now AND tell me where does HE live, then I'll have sushi out of you, understood?!"

Squidward, sweating and nervous, slowly moved one of his tentacles towards his left, pointing at Spongebob's pineapple house.

After giving the sea sponge's mentioned house a brief side look, he then faced Squidward "Thankies" he then let go of his nose "Now… WALLOP!" he shouted, and with one punch, he sent the cephalopod flying towards his house, crashing towards the wall and making one of his art portraits fall down and land on his head.

"Ow…"

"A KNOCKOUT!" Fisher screamed, then left the scene.

NOW

"And for that, I suggest you won't go see him on a while" Fisher chuckled "And don't ask him if he was gonna press charges against me" he added "For… uh… Nevermind"

"Come on in, your house is my house!" Spongebob cheered as he stepped aside from the door to allow his new squirrel 'friend' come in.

"Yeah sure whateva" Fisher rolled his eyes as he entered, followed by Spongebob closing the door. After entering, he turned at his back to look at him "Lemme ask ya sumthin'"

"Fisher?"

"Ya?"

"What's with that… accent, isn't it from… Sandy?" the yellow square noticed how American the Lithuanian squirrel was sounding, ever since he briefly saw him on Sandy's Treedome, like if… he somehow loved that Southern accent and started using it for himself.

"Huh?" Fisher then quickly slapped his face "Aaaah, much better"

"So… what was it?"

"Spongebob…" Fisher then retained his pseudo-Soviet tone of voice "How much do you… love Sandra?"

"What do you mean?!" Spongebob gasped "I mean, i… i…"

"Cannot fool me, Squarepants" Fisher shook his head while giving him a confident look "You love Sandra so much, you were about to kiss her, i right?"

"H-Huh?!"

"But you're in luck, cause i am gonna teach you how to be proficient womanizer"

Spongebob started sweating. Did he just…?

"First lesson: Try to find weaknesses"

"WHAT?!" Spongebob gasped "I don't wanna hurt her, i…"

"Relax, Robbie" Fisher chuckled "By weakness, I was being metaphoric" he smirked "I exactly meant that you must know that woman very well, enough to know what she does like and what she DOES NOT like!"

"Well…" Spongebob, nervous, started fidgeting with his fingers "For starters, she's a #1 fan of science"

"You don't say"

"And also… ka-ra-tay!"

"Kara-wha?"

"Whoops! I meant… karate!"

"That martial art thing where you chop people in their heads with palm of the hand?"

"If you put it that way, then… yeah, probably" Spongebob chuckled, his eyes then widened "Wait, don't tell me…"

"No, I am not gonna teach you science!" Fisher interrupted him "But, I can teach you some karate, I mean, it's not hard, I was taught at the age of 17 back on my old days on the Lithuanian protectorate" he proudly mentioned as he cracked his knuckles.

"Lithuania-wha?"

Remember the face Sandy had in 'I had an accident' after a stupid comment from Patrick? Just imagine that.

XXX

Fisher and Spongebob were on Spongebob's improvised gym, with some crappy teddy rabbit dumbbells and all that.

"You train… here?" Fisher looked around, surprised on how pathetic Spongebob's training on weightlifting was

"Yeah, why?" Spongebob smiled.

"You train… here" he repeated.

"Well, there was once a time where I wanted to get Sandy's training, but it was… too much" Spongebob frowned.

"Ah, it is good, Robert" Fisher smiled comfortingly as he walked towards him and placed a hand on his shoulder comfortingly "I've seen worse than this"

"Really?" Spongebob's head perked up.

"Yeah, where I came from you are made practicing finger strength by breaking fiddlesticks"

"Really?"

"Yeah, personal record of mine was 243, before I yelled 'THIS IS BORING' and got disqualified"

"Oh, well… can we focus on the… training right now?"

"Right, right"

Fisher then backed away a few steps and got into his fighting position, kempo-like "Show me your skills"

"Wait just ONE moment!" and after that, Spongebob quickly, magic snatchel-like, drew out his personal red protection from his pockets and put them on "Safety first!"

"That's what she said" Fisher joked.

"Who said that?" Spongebob's naiveness shrugged.

"Nevermind" Fisher cleared his throat "Wait, is that your… armor?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Nevermind" Fisher sighed, then got back into his kempo position "On guard!"

"KYA!" Spongebob yelled as he then tried to emulate Fisher's kempo position steps, but lost his balance "WHOA!" he yelped as he fell to the ground.

"I can see there is a lot of work in this" Fisher facepalmed.

MEANWHILE…

Back at the Treedome, Sandy was sitting on her picnic table, looking at the flowers now in a flower vase, reminiscing about the kiss she just gave to Fisher 'Am i… in love?' she thought to herself. This was some new feeling for her, but she then remembered, how many good moments she had with certain sponge, how many times he helped her when needed, and such. And then that squirrel came to his life, she fell in love instantly. She was clearly debating on which of the two is real love: a long friendship from Spongebob, or A SQUIRREL who came to his life and apparently won Sandy's heart in just some hours. That wasn't fair, right? I mean, Fisher was just sporadic, yeah, but WHEN will she ever have the chance to meet a squirrel like Fisher ever again? There could be some time when she occasionally goes to Texas, yeah, but there was something special on Fisher that…

"Oh, tarnation!" Sandy growled as she slammed her fist on the table "This is too much, I must…" she then buried her face on her hands "Spongebob's my friend for a long time, I just cannot be with other guy just because it is a squirrel, but Fisher's so gentle and he helped me big time!"

Suddenly, her smartphone (A/N: Yes, provided she invented it and popularized it in Bikini Bottom) rang. The Texan scientist martial artist squirrel then snapped out of it and checked it. After turning it on, she had one Fish'sapp message from Spongebob. She then recalled the time where she gave one smartphone prototype to his yellow best friend, telling him to call him every time he could. However, she didn't called him in months after she gave him one. Why would he message as if now? And why A MESSAGE?

Sandy then swept her finger through the phone to unlock it, and, to her surprise, it was a photo message from Spongebob: A photo of him, on a now mastered kempo position, accompanied by text that said 'I owe you a spar anytime soon!'

"Holy O G Jenkins!" Sandy's eyes widened. She then immediately started to text "Tarnation, SB, when did u got time to learn karate that well?" she then sent the message.

Back at Spongebob's house…

"Is that it? Let me see!"

Spongebob then walked towards Fisher, who was the one who took that photo. He then immediately gave him his phone back.

"Oh look! Sandy texted me back!"

"Give her a hashtag and tell her to…"

"BARNACLES!" Spongebob gasped "She… she loved it!"

"Toldja" Fisher nodded "At least the pose" he chuckled, since he barely taught him only the pose, not the rest.

"Oh, she's gonna be so disappointed next time we spar" Spongebob sighed as his head shrunk down and lowered.

Fisher then chuckled "Easy there, phase two is about to begin"

"Phase… Two?" Spongebob re-inflated himself again and looked back at Fisher.

"Yeah" Fisher nodded, then drew out a piece of paper of his pocket "Read this" he said as he gave it to him.

"Ehhhh" he then showed the piece of paper, displaying a photo of an American $100 dollar bill "That's a… C-note"

"Oh really?" Fisher chuckled "There's a letter on the other side"

Spongebob then turned the piece of paper to the other side, it had truly a letter "To the smartest, strongest and most beautiful girl on Bikini Bottom…"

Fisher then secretly started to record him with his cellphone in a Fish'sapp voice message. Spongebob started to mumble the entire letter, then looked at him "I cannot read this to her!"

"Why not?!" Fisher growled as he swept his finger on the phone and cancelled the message.

"It's too corny!" the sea sponge complained "And besides, Sandy's not gonna buy anything of tha…"

"Listen up here, FagPussyPants, I am gonna read it" Fisher growled as he snatched the letter from Spongebob, making him yelp in surprise "And after that, I want YOU to read it, or else you'll pay, cuz I've spent all my shame to write this in order for YOU to get Sandra in love with her, GOT IT?!"

Spongebob was shrunk down to his pants, only his eyes could be seen, nodding in fear.

"Okay, here I go" but unknowingly, Fisher moved his finger and accidentally pressed and held the voice message button "To the smartest, strongest and most beautiful girl in Bikini Bottom" he then cleared his throat "You're cool, you're awesome, you're so smart AND beautiful"

"Uh… Fisher" Spongebob, nervous and raining sweaty drops, whispered in low voice, trying to warn him.

"You're the reason I wake up every day with a smile on my face, and whenever I get out of my house, I think about you as if you were the only person on my life who mattered a lot"

"F-Fisher…"

"I'm not done yet" Fisher then continued "But you're so beautiful, you with your sexy buck teeth and radiant tail, that I fear others might want to have you, but I wanna reassure you, that I'll do everything I have to do in order to be with you, you're the most special person on my life, and I want to have you everyday" he finished reading, also unknowingly releasing the smartphone's button and finishing the message, then sending it "What is it, Spongebob?"

Spongebob only could have a shocked expression on his face, slowly moving his arm to point at the smartphone.

"Huh?" but it was too late, when Fisher checked, his message has already the two grey ticks, meaning: SENT!

A sound of porcelain shattering accompanied with Fisher's eyes opening as wide as he could, was how Fisher was "OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT!" he then tapped the smartphone so many times in a futile effort to stop the message. But you cannot just stop internet.

"Fisher, FISHER! You're gonna break it!" Spongebob snatched the phone from the nervous former Soviet squirrel.

"GOTDAMMIT! WHY DIDN'T YOU WARNED ME?!"

"Oh lord…" Spongebob looked worriedly as the double grey ticks then turned blue.

MEANWHILE…

Back at the Treedome, Sandy just sat there, speechless and shocked as she was hearing Fisher's voice telling her so many cute things. Not even a single cell of her body moved, no matter what does anatomy says about mammals. After the message finished, she could only slowly move down her arm to rest it on the table, accompanied by the sound of some rusty metal squeaks.

"Did he just…?"

No, it cannot be. Regardless of that tiny, barely hearable whisper from certain sea sponge on the voice message, she couldn't believe it! Possibly, this was the first time, in all of her life, that a sea creature- no wait- that SOMEONE ever has given her such a beautiful love speech like that… even if it wasn't intentional. The next thing we could see that the Texan Squirrel would do, was to hastily put on her suit and her new respirator implant contraption, dash towards the Treedome's door and run towards to wherever she suspects that presumably love-ridden squirrel was: Spongebob's house!

Back at Spongebob's house.

"I screwed it all up, BIG TIME!" Fisher held his head while walking back and forth at one place.

"But what if…?"

"SHUSH!" Fisher growled "Now I'll have to apply my failsafe!"

"What?!"

Fisher then immediately held the yellow sponge by his puny, skinny arms "Spongebob, do tell me, something terrible you can tell Sandra, which could upset her… NOW!"

"Wha?! B-But…"

"NOW!"

"W-Well, you can say Texas sucks, but…" he then gasped "No!"

"Bro…"

"NO!"

"Bro!"

"NU!" Spongebob screamed "Out of the question! Last time I did it, Patrick was held on intensive therapy for weeks! It is unconceivable!"

"And my fast ticket to get everything off me and take it where it belongs!"

"Fisher… no…"

"That's it, Robbie!" Fisher then started to walk towards the door "In a few moments, you'll have Sandra as your girlfriend BIG TIME!"

"NO!" Spongebob then suddenly stopped him by lunging against him, then falling and holding onto his feet "She'll hate you forever, and I don't want that!"

"Let go"

"No, she does deserve such a mammal friend like you, so she does not feels alone all the time just because she's surrounded by sea creatures, I don't want that!"

"Let go!"

"No! You don't even know anything about being lonely, metaphorically trapped in a dome that isolates you from the real people you do love, only having as friends some outsiders!"

"LET GO, GOTDAMMIT! YOU MOTEHRFUCKING COCKSUCKER, OR ELSE I'LL KILL YOU!"

Spongebob, shocked by those words, slowly let go of him and began to crawl away from him.

Fisher then sighed deeply, and sobbed a few times before wiping his face with his arms "You don't know anything about my life"

"F-Fisher…?"

"And stop calling me like that, that's not even my real name!" he growled "Listen, when the Union fell, I was forced to live in a place where no one understood me, I go now as Fisher Moorhead, but I was previously known as André Topolovich, and I was happy" he started to explain "I know how much Sandra's suffering, living on a Treedome, isolated and away from her family, I know that, cuz I was living on a different place, isolated from my motherland, not being able to go back due to political bullshit, and it's a shame cuz I've lost my girl due to that, and since that moment, I've decided to become a globetrotter, not caring about anyone or anything, not wanting to make friends, not even a love life, always going on and on and on through the world, expecting some adventures" he sighed "Yeah, I know what you'd think, I may feel lonesome, but I just don't care, not anymore, I just want to be left alone, and I dunno why I attracted Sandra, but I just don't want anything with her, right now I want her to be happy, with the man she truly loves as of now: You"

Spongebob couldn't believe the entire story. Yeah, it was way out of sense of the regular basis, with a plot involving politics and something he could never understand, but still, there were someone's emotions on it "Uh, Fisher… thanks for everything, but Sandy's happy by finally meeting some land creature like you, and I just don't know what will it be of her if you leave her just like that"

"She deserves someone better, I mean, look at me! I am a sociopath!"

Spongebob then interrupted him by placing a comforting arm on his shoulder "I've seen worse" he emulated what he previously said.

Fisher/André then sighed "It would be a shame to leave right now without telling her a single word" he commented as he slowly walked towards the door, with him following suit.

"Ah, don't worry, I'll take care of tying up loose ends"

But the two got interrupted as the door suddenly and slowly started opening, revealing Sandy, with a worried look on her face.

"Sandy!" both gasped in unison.

"I've heard… everything… André"

"How much?"

"The enough" she sighed.

"I can explain" he quickly commented "I… i…"

Sandy then retained her cheerful expression on her face as she walked towards the male squirrel "Tried to help Spongebob love, me, huh?" she teased as she elbowed his chest.

Fisher then slowly grinned "Ha! You've got me!"

"So…" Spongebob slowly walked in between them, slowly fidgeting with his fingers again "You guys are okay?"

"Ah, as okay as cowboy in a Rodeo up in November!"

"Well…" Spongebob blushed as he started to smile.

"Ah, come here, you!" she then quickly embraced the sponge and hugged him. Spongebob, smitten, quickly realized she wasn't wearing her helmet.

"Sandy! You cannot breathe! YOUR HELMET!" he pointed at her head.

"Ah, it's okay, Spongie, Fisher fella here had it covered!" Sandy smiled as she pointed at her nose's respirator implant, but then held Spongebob closer to him, with a flirty expression on his face "But I'd like some air, would you mind to give me some 'mouth-to-mouth' breathin'?"

Spongebob then looked at her with the same flirty expression "I'd be honored, Mrs. Cheeks"

After that, the two closed their eyes, puckered their mouths, and slowly started to kiss passionately.

Watching the scene, Fisher finally whistle "Ha, so that's what she meant by 'Tighter than bark on a tree'" he commented "But my job is done here" he chuckled as he started to walk off the scene.

The kiss, upon seeing Fisher leave, stopped, and Sandy quickly gawked at the leaving squirrel Fisher, where you goin'?"

"Ah, I dunno, wherever the wind takes me" he joked "Maybe… I'd go to Texas, and maybe to visit your relatives, to tell them you're doing fine, and such"

"I'll miss you so much, Fisher" Sandy looked at him with a sad expression on her face.

"We'll do" Sandy then turned to see that Spongebob smiled at him comfortingly, telling her 'Don't worry' with its mere look.

"Das Vidania" Fisher waved at the two as he finally walked out of the house, towards the bus stop, waiting.

"Will he be doing fine?" Spongebob asked as he, along with his squirrel girlfriend, were looking at Fisher, holding hands.

"He's a squirrel, Spongebob, of course he'll be doin' fine" she smiled "But as of now, I'd like to focus on both of us" she looked at him "How about a clean, professional sparring session, eh? You think you're up to the challenge?"

Spongebob was quickly on his sparring gear "You're mincemeat!" he smirked as he got on his kempo pose.

"We'll see about that" she smirked as she also was on her green sparring gear as the two started sparring.

While that was happening, Fisher, already on the red bus, was looking at both of them, with a proud smile "Nice…" was the only thing he could mutter before resting on his seat, but his eyes opened wide as he remembered something "HEY! MY STUFF BACK AT SANDRA'S HOUSE!" he screamed.

THE END! Please Review!