Author's Note:-
I promise LWD is next on my agenda, but I thought of this about a week ago and just had to do it, so please forgive me! I am rushing to get this finished in time for Christmas Eve, so please excuse the rushed writing and short chapters, I would have liked to put more depth and detail into this but I just didn't have the time. That being said, I'm hoping it will still be an enjoyable read and I'm aiming for bittersweet tears at the end, so... be warned!
I'm going to upload one chapter a day, the final one being on Christmas Eve; I'll try to upload as early in the day as I can but I'll have to fit this around work. I live in England so all this will be based on London time.
Anyway! So, that's that. I hope you all like this, have a merry Christmas and please leave your feedback! Thank you! :)
Sigh. Piano gazed woefully out of the window of his cave in Hell, a window that was nothing more than a gaping hole that King Piccolo had blown into the cave wall. They had to make the most of the hand they'd been dealt… Hell wasn't designed for good people after all, and especially not now. It always felt so peculiar at this time of year; Christmas was a time for families, and for good people that never did anything wrong… It always sort of unsettled Piano that the ogres and angels of Hell encouraged people to celebrate it down here. Why? These weren't the kind of people that celebrated the season of giving, kindness, family… and much to Piano's dismay, this time of year always put King Piccolo in such a foul mood! As if he wasn't enough of a nightmare to live with already, the sight of tinsel and candy canes and the Forest of Death being decorated like a Christmas tree really pissed him off. Piano and his mutant siblings tried their best to avoid him, but it was somewhat difficult when he threw demands at them every five minutes.
"Drum!"
King Piccolo's voice bellowed through the cave, causing Piano to shiver. Why did he have to yell? They were all in the same room! "Get me another one of those candy canes!"
"B-But King Piccolo, we only get one each…" Came Drum's timid reply as he stared up at his master. "And we already gave you ours…"
"So go and steal one for me!" King Piccolo snarled. "Take somebody else's!"
"But they'll put me in jail –"
"Only if you get caught." King Piccolo hissed, cutting his youngest mutant off.
"He will." Cymbal sniped, and Drum shot him an angry glare.
"Well you go then!" He pouted.
"No." King Piccolo spat. "Tambourine and Cymbal are going to burn down that forest, and all those disgusting Christmas decorations along with it."
"Wh-What!" Cymbal and Tambourine both gasped, their eyes suddenly widening as they stared at their master in disbelief.
"But – King Piccolo – we will get arrested for that!" Cymbal protested.
"Or worse!" Tambourine cried. "I mean – Cell's kids helped decorate that forest! He'll literally erase us if he finds out we –" He stopped talking, and his heart sank in despair when a look of glee quickly spread itself across King Piccolo's face. Okay… Well, Tambourine knew King Piccolo enjoyed seeing people get hurt and killed, but… did that include his own children…? Since when!
"Good. I need some gore to balance out all the crap that's going on around here." King Piccolo sniggered nastily, and glared at Tambourine and Cymbal. "Go."
"But –"
"Did I stutter!"
"Aii!" The mutants all screamed as King Piccolo's booming voice bellowed through the cave, making it shake so wildly the roof almost collapsed.
Tambourine and Cymbal looked at Piano pleadingly, silently begging their wisest brother to think of any way they could get out of this. They didn't want to die! And if they messed with Cell's kids' Christmas decorations, they definitely would die! Piano simply stared back at them, in complete understanding of their dilemma. Hm… Well, Piano didn't want his brothers to die… but on the other hand, King Piccolo had given an order, and he knew rhea price of defying King Piccolo. … Meh. Rather than them him.
"Well, hop to it, Boys." Piano instructed. "You heard him. He wants Christmas destroyed."
"You bastard!" Tambourine snarled telepathically. "You know Cell will kill us, right?"
"Don't be such idiots." Piano argued back, having quickly formulated a plan. "Remember the hundreds of thousands of children King Piccolo created three hundred years before you were born? The ones that look exactly like you two but with half the brain power, as if that were at all possible?"
"Yeah…?" Cymbal dumbly replied.
"Just blame it on one of them, you idiots! Cell won't know the difference, you all look the same."
"Oh…" Tambourine grunted, a smile spreading across his wide lips. "Good idea – thanks, bro!"
"But Piano, what am I supposed to do?" Drum asked. "He wants me to steal other people's candy – what if I get arrested? I'll miss out on Christmas!"
"Trust me, on Christmas day you'll be much safe in a prison cell than here with him, Drum. If I were you, I'd try to get arrested." Piano replied. It was true… King Piccolo had been getting grumpier and grumpier by the day, angered at how close they were getting to Christmas, and now that it was Christmas Eve Piano was dreading tomorrow. Drum would be much safer elsewhere… especially considering he was the strongest and most loyal of King Piccolo's children, which would only make him a more enjoyable target when King Piccolo inevitably decided to relieve his stress by beating everyone around him to a pulp.
"Hey!" King Piccolo barked, glaring down at the mutants. "What are you still doing here? Move!"
"Aii!" Tambourine, Cymbal and Drum all cried out and leapt out of the way as King Piccolo stared hurling ki blasts at them, and they had no choice but to run out of the cave.
Piano looked up at his master, and sighed inwardly.
"Can I get you a drink, King Piccolo?" He offered, somewhat dreading the answer.
"Yes." King Piccolo snorted. "I want blood." He moved his eyes to a sharp, pointed rock sticking out of the wall. "Use that over there."
"Oh… my blood again." Piano sighed. "Are you going to drink it this time or just throw it at me and laugh?"
"Hm?" King Piccolo grunted, and frowned at the thoughtful expression on Piano's face. "What are you thinking?"
"Nothing!" Piano shrieked. Crap! "Right away, Sire!" He bolted off to get an empty glass, and when he returned he wasted no time in slitting his own wrists to bleed into it. Ugh… How had it come to this? This was the opposite of Christmas!
xxxxx
Meanwhile, over in Frieza's cave, Zarbon was also staring out of the window, trying to block out the sounds of seven candy-fuelled Cell Juniors behind him. Ugh. Zarbon hated Christmas. The kids always got so hyper… and they were already hyper little shits to begin with.
"And I want a bike and a kitten and a spaceship –"
"And more chocolate!"
"And a big house!"
"And an Xbox!"
"And a park!"
"Children." Frieza hissed, trying to numb the pain of their voices with his tenth bottle of wine. "You'll get the same as last year. Nothing. This is Hell, not a mall. Where are we supposed to get all those things?"
"But the angels said anyone who's been good can have a present!" One of the Juniors protested.
"Exactly." Frieza replied with a nasty smirk. "So you evil trouble-causing little brats will get nothing."
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Frieza flinched as the Juniors suddenly erupted into tears. Tch. How irritating.
"Oh – Frieza!" Cell barked, glaring at his lover. "Why did you have to say such horrible things!"
"Stop mollycoddling them. They need to hear the truth." Frieza snorted, and smirked at the children. "They're horrible naughty little boys who don't deserve to get any presents from Santa."
"Waaaaaaaaaa!" The Juniors wailed louder, causing a look of sadness to fall upon Cell's face.
"Boys – don't listen to him!" Cell insisted. "Look – I promise, I will make sure you each get a present, okay?"
"Humph. Where from?" Zarbon sniped. "Our personal supply of chocolate?" He paused, and his eyes widened. "Cell –"
"Don't even think about it!" Frieza barked at Cell.
"Humph." Cell grunted, and shot him a nasty glare. "Well, either start gathering presents yourself or they're having your stuff."
"How about we just try and teach them how to behave…?" Dodoria mumbled from the corner of the room. "Then maybe they'd actually earn a present from Santa?"
"That's a stupid idea, they're a lost cause." Frieza sniped. "Dodoria – go and take them for a walk, and let them pick out something for tomorrow."
"What, you mean… just let them walk about eyeing up people's stuff?" Dodoria frowned. "And then you want me to rob it?"
"Oh good, you understand." Frieza retorted, and narrowed his eyes at Dodoria. "Now go."
"… Fine." Dodoria sighed, knowing full well that disobeying Lord Frieza would only make his miserable Hell-bound existence worse. "Come on, Kids. Let's go visit the saiyans."
"Yay!" The Cell Juniors all exclaimed, suddenly cheering up.
"Saiyans always have cool stuff!"
"It gets less cool every year though…"
"That's because we've already stolen all the good stuff for you." Dodoria growled. "Come on!" He left the cave, with the Cell Juniors following eagerly behind.
Zarbon went back to looking out of the window, and smirked slightly at the sight of the Ginyu Force exchanging Secret Santa gifts.
"I'm glad we didn't do Secret Santa." He commented.
"Why?" Cell asked. "You seriously wouldn't know what to get us?"
"No." Zarbon replied. "It's just… there's nothing you could get down here that would even be half as valuable as I'd want. Cheap presents irritate me."
"Mm…" Frieza mused, closing his eyes in reminiscence. "Pleasing you always was so costly…"
"But – it's the thought that counts, right?" Cell asked.
"Nope." Frieza and Zarba both replied. "The value."
Cell simply let out a sigh. He didn't get rich people…
"Oh." Zarbon uttered, noticing more activity outside. "Those angels are here. You know, from the rehabilitation program."
"Remind me." Frieza mumbled, pouring himself another glass of wine.
"You know… It's a new program you can sign up to." Zarbon explained. "One of Hell's angels will come to you dressed in some hideous cloak and show you visions of your Christmases past, present and future. If you learn to change your ways at the end of it, you get to go to Heaven." He looked at Frieza. "Remember? They've been advertising the program for weeks."
"Humph." Frieza snorted. "Who in their right mind would sign up to something as ridiculous as that? This is Hell! It's full of villains with no intention of changing their ways! Anybody who's pathetic enough to agree to such a feeble program doesn't deserve to be here."
"Well… That's sort of the point…" Zarbon mumbled.
"Hm. Well, even if you don't learn something… it must be nice to have a change of scenery for a while." Cell yawned. "This place gets so tedious…"
"Hmm…" Frieza purred, and smirked at him wickedly. "Well Dear, now that the children are out, do you want to torture Zarbon again?"
"Again?" Zarbon groaned exhaustedly. "Fine…" He sighed, and looked at them sternly. "But no biting! It hurts!"
"Hahaha!" Frieza and Cell started cackling evilly, and approached their beautiful slave.
xxxxx
Slurp. Meanwhile, over in King Piccolo's cave, Piano watched in disgust as King Piccolo drank from the goblet of blood that Piano had so kindly offered to him.
"Hm." King Piccolo grunted. Piano waited, watching his master as he swirled the blood around in his mouth, as if he were genuinely appreciating its flavour. King Piccolo had been known to drink the blood of his victims as some sort of sick, twisting way of mocking them, but this wasn't quite the same. Piano didn't think he would drink it. In fact, he knew he wouldn't. Wait for it… Wait for it… Spit! "Ha!" King Piccolo exclaimed, his eyes lighting up at the look of anger on Piano's face as the mutant found himself covered in his own blood, and a little of King Piccolo's spit. "You blood tastes like weakness!" King Piccolo threw the glass at Piano, and sniggered when it smashed against the mutant's head, missing his eyes by millimetres. "Get me another glass!"
"That was the last one, Sire." Piano hissed through gritted teeth. Jackass… The jackass! Piano hated this time of year! Why was Christmas the only time of year when King Piccolo seemed to get the most enjoyment out of torturing his own family? That was the exact opposite of what Christmas was about!
"Well then, go find another!" King Piccolo ordered. "Otherwise I'll have to drink out of rocks, and if I have to do that then believe me, I won't spare your eyes!"
"Y-Yes, Sire!" Piano whimpered, and darted out of the cave in search of a new glass.
King Piccolo snorted, and leant back in his chair. Hm. He was bored… Maybe it was time for a nap. Hm… Chair or bed? Chair or bed…? King Piccolo took his time deciding; there wasn't nearly enough to do around here, and he found that long decision making helped pass the time. Chair or bed…? Chair or bed…?
"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way…" King Piccolo clenched his fists and snarled in annoyance as the repulsive noise of people singing Christmas songs started coming from outside. Bed! Definitely bed! But not before erasing the culprits. With a cruel smirk upon his face, King Piccolo made his way over to the window. He stuck his hand out of it, and aimed at the singers… Boom!
"Ha!" King Piccolo exclaimed as he watched the cheerful Christmas celebrators disappear into nothing but ash, their souls erased from existence forever. Perfect! What were they doing down here anyway? This was a place for villains, not a bunch of joy-spreading Christmas-celebrating bleeding hearts!
"Now… what that really necessary?"
"Hm?"
King Piccolo frowned at the sound of a voice he didn't recognise. Who the hell was that? He turned around, to see a cloaked figure standing there. He couldn't see their face behind their hood, but they were about his height… He couldn't sense their energy, though. What the hell! "Who are you!" King Piccolo demanded.
"King Piccolo?" The figured asked.
"Yes!" King Piccolo barked. "Who's asking?"
"I'm here to take you on a trip." The figure answered. "Through your Christmases past, present and future."
"Wha – no way!" King Piccolo snarled. "I told them I'm not doing that crap! Now move out of my way, I'm taking a nap." He forcefully pushed past the figure, nudging them as harshly as he could. Really, he wanted to destroy them… but these stupid Hell angels were invincible – to the dead villains, at least. Although… if this moron ever tried to turn him into a do-gooder again, King Piccolo would certainly try to break a few of his bones. They could still feel pain, right?
"I do think you should re-consider." The voice came from behind him, following him through the cave.
"Fuck you!" King Piccolo argued back. "Get out of my house, you bleeding heart piece of crap!" He made his way into the section of the cave that was reserved solely for him, and moved his eyes down to the worn, dirty, broken mattress that was his bed. Ahh… time to sleep away this terrible evening. Maybe when he awoke Christmas would have been and gone, and those useless mutant children of his might have stolen some useful things for him. Or something to eat, at least…
"King Piccolo." The voice came from behind him again. Dammit!
"What is wrong with you!" King Piccolo snarled, turning to face the figure with his fists clenched, ready to break the angel's bones. "I said no –"
Punch. In a single blow, the cloaked figure knocked King Piccolo out cold.