Disclaimer: disclaimed

This is me mocking all those crazy fangirls who are determined to see guyxguy action where it doesn't exist (if any readers are aforementioned fangirls, nothing personal).

It was a normal day at Mount Justice: Sunday post-mission training had concluded only an hour earlier, so the young heroes were relaxing and preparing for the week ahead. Robin, for his part, was putting the final touches on his new DNA-recognition program. Now, instead of having to wait for a search to find evidence, a computer could delve into separate databases at once—Interpol, FBI, Mossad, MI6, those were only a few. Regular police computers would be able to cut their search time in half (at least, but he was getting there). It was all a matter of diverting a portion of the computer's RAM to the software, then synchronizing it with—

"We'll never be gay together, right?"

If Robin had been drinking anything, he would have spat it out right there. As it was, he choked on air and gaped at his best friend. "Dude, what?"

"You heard me," Wally said stubbornly. He was half-pouting, half sulking—eyebrows scrunched, bottom lip jutted out.

The Boy Wonder continued gawking for a moment more before returning his attention to the monitor. "I'm not even going to dignify that with a response."

But Wally refused to be ignored. "I'm serious!" The ginger spun Robin's chair to face him in, well, a flash.

Robin crossed his arms and tipped his head to the side curiously. "Who gave you that totally dis-turbing idea? Heavy on the dis," he felt the need to add.

"Well," Wally scratched his forehead sheepishly, as if just then considering his actions. "Artemis is always saying we're, y'know—"

"That's because she's Artemis, Wally," interrupted Wally with an invisible roll of his mask-clad eyes. And she enjoys pushing your buttons because you're both about as oblivious as Connor is about the TV.

"—and those forum-slash-fangirl-slash-blog-slash-stalker websites are always going on about how cute we are together, which is kind of flattering but mostly unsettling because most of the people on there are, like, twice our age but they still think they have a shot at us," here Wally paused to shudder and gag, and Robin jumped in once more.

"Dude, I can't believe you're actually on those websites. Wait—" he grinned mischeviously. "What are you doing on those websites?"

Wally opened his mouth defensively, and Robin's training could read that his first syllable would be Art so he went on quickly. "Never mind, I don't want to know! Look," he stood, and placed a (totally platonic) hand on Wally's shoulder. "The people who say we'd ever be a couple," the word tasted foul on his tongue; both boys shuddered. "are the same ones who think Naruto and Sasuke would be together. See?"

"Naruto and Sasuke? Really?" Wally looked horrified. "What kind of sick people support that?"

"Don't discriminate," teased Robin.

"I'm not! But Sasuke and Sakura are totally going to end up together—"

"Um, no, Naruto and Sakura are meant for each other. The point is," he stressed as Wally's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. "We have not, are not, and will never be gay together."

"Not even when Hell freezes over?" Wally questioned cheerfully.

Robin gave him a look that could be clearly translated as, duh. "Dude, have you seen some of the people we fight?"

"Good point. I'm gonna go bother Artemis. Later!" And the speedster disappeared. And reappeared, only to say, "And SasuSaku forever," before smirking and running off again.

Robin rolled his eyes again and resumed his programming. "And that's why we have the word overwhelming."

Naruto is an anime/manga that's CRAZY popular, and SasuSaku is fangirl speak for Haruno Sakura and Uchiha Sasuke (Seriously-SasuSaku FOREVER). I'm a fan.

When you review my love of the epic bromance of Wally and Robin increases. Like, by a lot.

Sooooo...review!