A/N- Also there's probably a bunch of mistakes, it's 2:30 in the morning over here.
This takes place when Edward is dropping Bella off at the border of La Push before they tell the story of the spirit warriors. Pg. 236 in Eclipse.
I like All I Want better but that's ok.

Disclaimer: I'm not SM. I don't own the Twilight series, so don't sue me.

Jacob's POV

Part 2: I Know

I leaned against my Rabbit. Minutes crawled by like a bug stuck under a rock- slowly, very slowly. I checked the clock on the dashboard, which was still on because I kept the car running and warm for Bella. 6:23. I knew he was probably with Bella. The thought of him being so close to Bella made my control slip. My body was having uncontrollable tremors to the point that my whole car vibrated with me. It was getting harder to control these anger fits. Just when I thought I was getting better at controlling my anger, Cullen goes and messes me up. He's screwed me twice now. Ass.

I wish Bella would see how wrong he is for her and how right I am.

What does Cullen have that I don't have? I'm relatively immortal. I can reach extreme temperatures. I can protect her. Hell, I can even be a complete monster if she wanted me to. I'd do anything for her. I have more than he does. I have a heartbeat. Blood runs through my veins. I was born after WWI. I can love her how she should be loved. I don't have an urge to tear open her throat and suck her dry. I've never made her fly to a different continent to save my sorry butt. I've never left her to suffer-- to die.

What has Cullen given her anyway? A crazy lunatic that's trying to kill her. An unhealable wound in in her heart. An ample amount of trips to the hospital. Crazy restrictions about when she can see me. Plenty of near death experiences. About the only positive thing he's given her is someone to love. I guess it's a non-refundable, non-replaceable gift because she keeps going back. While I'm here the whole time just waiting, trying to catch her heart just once. If I were poetic, I'd say we were like magnets. Bella and I have a negative charge and damned Cullen over there has a positive charge. I repel Bella and he attracts her. Opposites attract, I guess. If only I were a blood drinking monster. Maybe I'd get a chance. But I am who I am. I know I love her. I know she doesn't love me. I know she'll always see me as a friend. I know I'll never be good enough for her. I know I can never be with the only person I'll ever want. I know she will always love someone else. I know she's making a huge mistake. I know all that, but I can't stop her.

I could sense her now. A few miles off, about to turn onto the lane I was waiting on. And of course with her came Cullen, which meant my thoughts weren't private anymore. Somehow I ended up sitting on the ground against my car with my head on my knees. I stood back up and tried to lean nonchalantly against the Rabbit. My impassive mask that was thrown askew was now back in place. The new Jacob Black was standing in place of the old, weak one. The headlights flashed past my eye when they made the turn off. His car came into view, and so did Bella.