The club was all smiling. They had all been invited to a gigantic sleepover at the Lopez's as a goodbye party for each other.
"So, what song represents your romantic life or what is your relationship 'song'?" a slightly drunken Tina asked.
"Ours is Bless the Broken Road." Rachel told Tina, and Finn grinned sheepishly.
"Mine's Ridin' Solo." Puck smirked.
And so it began. Tike's was Silly Love Songs. Klaine's was Tonight from West Side Story. Someone revealed that Wemma's was Fix You. St. Berry's had been Hello by Lionel Richie.
Eventually all eyes were on Brittany and Santana. Brittany played with Santana's hair lightly while Santana glanced up at her.
"We have a sort of…odd love song." Santana whispered.
The club crinkled their eyebrows. "Which song?"
"You wouldn't understand it." Santana said dismissively.
"Well then sing it for us or play it on YouTube, your choice." Quinn said.
Santana rolled her eyes. Brittany nodded.
"Go ahead, they deserve to know."
"If I sing it for you, I'm gonna have to pause after every lyric or whatever to explain." Santana warned.
The club looked confused, but nodded.
Santana went to her computer and pulled up her song.
The day I first met you
You told me you'd never fall in love
But now that I get you
I know fear is what it really was
A seven year old Santana walked up to a seven year old Brittany.
"Hey Chica." Santana greeted, shyly smiling.
"You're pretty." Brittany commented.
Santana giggled.
The afternoon progressed and they soon became fast friends.
"I'm never falling in love." Brittany said nonchalantly.
"Why?" Santana asked.
"Because my daddy hit my mommy and me and she wouldn't tell anyone because she loved him so bad. Now he's in jail." Brittany said sadly.
Now here we are
So close yet so far
Haven't I passed the test
When will you realize
Baby, I'm not like the rest
A thirteen year old Santana faced a red-faced Brittany.
"Don't you get it? I'm not like the rest of them. I'm not like your dad! I won't hit you or hurt you; I'll beat up the assholes who try!"
Don't wanna break your heart
Wanna give your heart a break
I know you're scared it's wrong
Like you might make a mistake
There's just one life to live
And there's no time to wait, to waste
So let me give your heart a break, give your heart a break
Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break
Oh yeah, yeah
"Brittany…let me help you understand how much I care for you. I will never hurt you. I swear."
"Pinkie promise?"
"Yes."
They linked their pinkies.
On Sunday you went home alone
There were tears in your eyes
I called your cell phone, my love
But you did not reply
"Santana? Santana, wait, I'm sorry I kissed you, you were just there and-and-Santana!"
Santana turned around in the doorway so Brittany could see the tears streaming down her face. She left without a word.
The world is ours if we want it
We can take it if you just take my hand
There's no turning back now
Baby, try to understand
"Try to understand, Britt. I will never hurt you like your dad did."
"You did a month ago. I swear Santana you're hot and then you're cold. You're bipolar or something. Last month I kissed you and you left without even saying goodbye."
Don't wanna break your heart
Wanna give your heart a break
I know you're scared it's wrong
Like you might make a mistake
There's just one life to live
And there's no time to wait, to waste
So let me give your heart a break, give your heart a break
Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break
"Let me give your mind a break from the crap we've been through." Santana whispered.
Brittany nodded, gulping slightly, as Santana attacked her lips.
There's just so much you can take
Give your heart a break
Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break
Oh yeah, yeah
"My dad is out of jail." Brittany said slowly, crying at Santana's doorstep.
"Where is he?"
"My mom took him back. She loved him too much I guess. He hit me." She whispered the last part.
When your lips are on my lips
And our hearts beat as one
But you slip out of my fingertips
Every time you run, whoa-oh-whoa-oh-oh
"Brittany…god…I love you so much words can't describe it. When we kiss I see fireworks. When we touch I feel like the Fourth of July."
Don't wanna break your heart
Wanna give your heart a break
I know you're scared it's wrong
"My dad got put back in jail." Brittany said, hugging her knees to her chest.
"Why?"
"He-he-he-" Brittany started to cry.
Santana held her until the sobs subsided.
"I reported him."
"For what?"
"Rape."
"What?"
"Please don't make me say it again."
"Who did he…?" Santana was careful not to say the word.
Brittany gulped. "Me." She whispered.
Like you might make a mistake
There's just one life to live
And there's no time to wait, to waste
So let me give your heart a break
(Let me give your heart a break)
"Britt, baby, there's only one life. I want us to have it together."
"Santana-I-I'm so scared."
"Honey, your father is locked in a cell. I'm not your dad. I will never hurt you like that."
'Cause you've been hurt before
I can see it in your eyes
You try to smile it away, some things you can't disguise
Don't wanna break your heart
Maybe, I can ease the ache, the ache
So let me give your heart a break, give your heart a break
Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break
There's just so much you can take
Give your heart a break
Let me give your heart a break (your heart), your heart a break (a break)
Oh yeah, yeah
"Honey, Brittany, I know you've been hurt before. I can see it in your beautiful, blue eyes. You try to put up that mask around me but I know it's fake. Maybe I can help you through the hurt. Let me help you through it. Will you be my girlfriend?"
"Of course!"
The day I first met you
You told me you'd never fall in love
"I am so in love with you right now."
When she finished explaining and singing, the club's eyes were wide and Santana was holding Brittany's hand. She had finally let the dumb mask fall and the pain was evident in her eyes.
"Brittany, is this true?" Finn asked in a low voice.
Brittany gave a small nod and glanced up at Santana. Santana quickly maneuvered her hand so she had wrapped her pinkie in Brittany's. She leaned down and gave the blonde a hug.
"That was two years ago, right before we joined glee." Santana informed them.
"So Brittany was…was…raped? By her dad?" Kurt managed to get out.
Brittany shook her head. "I was raped by my father three times. I stopped calling him dad the minute he pulled down my pants. Dad is a term of endearment, and he sure as hell wasn't endearing when he held me down and moaned in my ear." She said quietly.
Santana placed another comforting hug around her and linked their pinkies again.
The club's jaws were dropped and Brittany had tears in her eyes.
"You know, it's funny how I remember the simple details. You hear about all these people being traumatized after that but I remember exact details and quite frankly I would give anything except Santana for traumatization."
Rachel looked like she wanted to interrupt but Santana shook her head. Brittany's eyes were cast down and Santana was rubbing her back comfortingly.
"I remember what he said to me. I remember his sweaty weight on me and I remember him calling me things, calling me tight, calling me his bitch, calling me Britts. I won't go into details, that might make you extremely terrified, but I remember everything." She shuddered and turned to Santana, who gave her another hug.
"How did we not know this?" Rachel asked, turning to Finn.
"Britt, show them the mask." Santana said quietly. Brittany nodded.
Suddenly, the usual Brittany was there. She somehow had made her eyes faintly twinkle, there was a constant, sure smile on her face, and her body echoed everyone around her.
The club's eyes widened comically.
Brittany let the charade fall and she was slouching again, tears in her eyes.
"How the hell did you do that?" Finn asked.
Brittany shook her head. "You really wanna know?" she asked.
The club nodded.
"I would love to learn how to act that well." Rachel put in.
Brittany let out a short, humorless laugh before looking at her incredulously. "You would want to have to smile or die?" She said.
The room was dead quiet.
Brittany continued on. "Because every time he raped me, every time he assaulted me, every time he did something awful to me he would tell me he would kill me if I didn't smile. If I didn't say I loved him back. If I didn't reciprocate his feelings. If I didn't do this or that or enjoy it when he raped me. If I wasn't happy all the fucking time." Brittany said, grinding her teeth.
The club covered their mouths with their hands.
"What about your mom?" Puck asked slowly.
"Like Santana said, she refused to leave him. She didn't especially love me, either, and she saw this happening but she actually refused to do a thing about it except buy me the morning after pill and buy him some condoms." Brittany hissed.
"So he's in jail now?"
"Yes and no. My mom is too; because she didn't speak up she is an accomplice."
"What do you mean, yes and no?" Quinn asked.
"Yes, physically he is. Mentally, I see him everywhere. I have nightmares almost every night that he plagues. Sometimes I get a mild PTSD attack where he's back on top of me, smelling like vodka, holding me down and slobbering all over me. Santana says that during those I scream and cry for help and thrash around. The worst one I've had lasted three hours and I couldn't speak for three weeks because I shredded my vocal chords screaming."
Brittany closed her eyes. "Can we please change the subject?" she asked.
"Brittany, we'd like to know about how our friend was raped!" Quinn exclaimed.
"DO NOT SAY THAT WORD ONE MORE TIME QUINN FABRAY!" Brittany and Santana thundered at the same time.
"THAT GOES FOR ANYONE." Brittany continued.
The club was wide eyed.
Brittany took a deep breath that turned into a shuddered sob. A fat tear rolled down her cheek. Santana wrapped her into a hug.
"Honey, none of these people are going to hurt you. I know your father did but none of them are like him. They're just curious. They've only seen the fake you and they'd like to know more about the real you. Shh, shh, it's okay sweetie. Just let it out." she said, patting her girlfriend's back.
"How do you know they aren't going to hurt me?" Brittany asked.
"Because if they hurt you I will kill them." Santana promised. "Yo meñique jurar, ¿vez? Te amo Brittany S. Pierce, no lo olvides nunca que." She whispered, their foreheads touching.
They all knew enough Spanish for that one. They smiled and Santana gave a soft kiss to Brittany, hugging her once more before facing the group.
"I know everything that happened to my girlfriend. If you need details for some twisted, perverted reason, come to me. While it is hard for me to accept, Brittany literally relives it every time someone says that word. Also if you ask me anything I will recount it exactly like she told me, including first person point of view." Santana clarified. They nodded.
"So if you have any more questions, I can answer them."
Finally, Finn spoke up. "What did it feel like?" he asked quickly.
"Like having the life sucked out of you. It felt like this rock was on top of me and I could not breathe and then all of a sudden I felt something inside me and I realized what it was. I remember screaming and I remember his Axe cologne. Mostly I remember the awful things he said to me." Santana recounted perfectly. Finn did a double take but nodded.
Tina, who had stayed quieter than usual throughout this whole thing, spoke quietly. "How did you get help?" she asked quickly.
"I went to the hospital. They ran a rape test and sent the result to the police station."
Tina continued. "So, say, someone close to me did something like that or similar. I could just do that?" she asked timidly.
Santana and Brittany glanced at each other and nodded knowingly.
"I'd say talk to us first and we'll help you. We both belong to an organization that helps people in our situation or similar." Santana informed her. Tina nodded thoughtfully, but her eyes shone with gratitude.
Quinn raised her hand. Santana nodded. "Can Brittany answer this one?" she asked, wincing slightly.
Brittany nodded.
"What exactly did he call you? I know talking helps and you seem to guard this so I think…" Quinn trailed off.
Brittany sighed. "First he told me I was tight. Then he told me I was his bitch. Then he mostly muttered unintelligible stuff until he was almost done and he'd yell at me and tell me to enjoy it and that he was gonna be the best I'd ever had and all this shit that sent me to therapy." Brittany swallowed. Quinn wiped a tear away.
"Can we please change subjects now?" Brittany asked.
The club nodded.
Later that night, the club was dancing. Santana pressed Brittany to the wall.
"Brave Brittany is a major turn on." Santana whispered.
Brittany nodded as Santana closed in, kissing the blonde lightly.
"I'm glad you told them."
"They deserved to know."
"You're right, it was just brave."
Brittany nodded, kissing her again.
Tina walked up to them tentatively.
Santana nodded to Brittany. "We should take this upstairs, yeah?" Brittany asked. Tina swallowed and nodded.
Halfway up the stairs Tina started to cry a little. Santana put an arm around her and gave her a soft smile. They walked up to Santana's bedroom and closed the door.
"What happened?" Santana asked.
Tina sniffed. "My uncle will touch me." she whispered, practically in hysterics. Brittany crouched down next to her and wrapped her in a hug.
"Honey, you are very brave for telling us. Very, very brave. Have you told anyone else?" she asked quietly. Tina shook her head.
"Okay, well, you need to tell the police. I know it will be hard for you but can you please tell me what happens exactly? Talking helps you calm yourself and it gives us some details." Brittany suggested.
Tina nodded. "Well, about six months ago, he moved in with us because both my mom's parents died and he had been living with them. He's really young, he took a year off from college, he's nineteen. My parents went out and he came into my room and...touched me." she whispered.
Brittany furrowed her eyebrows. "How many times has this happened?"
"Eight." Tina whispered.
Brittany nodded at Santana and they traded places, this time Santana was crouched in front of Tina.
"Okay, Bonita I need you to take deep breaths for me. I'm going to drive you to the hospital, is that okay?"
"Why?"
"To make sure nothing's damaged or infected. Then I'm taking you to the police to make a statement."
Tina quietly thanked her.
As she got up, she quickly tackled Brittany in a hug.
"You are so brave Brittany it's not even..." she whispered.
Brittany smiled at her.
Santana stared in wonder at her girlfriend and her friend's embrace.
Santana smiled slightly. "I am so in love with you right now." she whispered.
The day I first met you
You told me you'd never fall in love
Okay, so I have no clue what this feels like. I wanted to explain why Tina is so quiet and Brittany acts stupid, yet Santana always defends that she isn't. I've always had an idea that something bad happened to Brittany that made her put up a mask so...yeah. I'll be posting another story today, another one-shot, about Mother's Day for Quinn.