Author's note: All the usual disclaimers apply – I don't own the show or the characters, only the words on this page. This is a companion piece of sorts to 'Holding the line', and I hope the characters ring true. And, as always, I'd love to hear what you think.
Taking the strain
by BHP
A golden pool of light spilled into the dark night, highlighting the open door of a storage unit, and a man and a woman tightly clutching a little girl. Life went on around them; police officers secured the area, taped off the scene. A paramedic walked towards them from a waiting ambulance. A swirl of red and blue emergency lights flickered and the hushed voices of Steve, Chin and Kono filled the air. But Danny and Rachel were oblivious to it all, every sense focused only on the fragile life they held between them: Grace.
Steve hated to break up the family reunion, but he knew it had to be done. Grace needed to see a paramedic, at the very least, and Rachel and Danny needed a chance to take a step back from everything that had happened today. Take a breath and absorb the reality that Grace was safe. Still, he wasn't looking forward to being the voice of reason – that was Danny's job, after all. One he was more than happy to leave to the other man, but circumstances had left him no choice.
When the paramedic made a move towards Danny, Steve stepped in first. "Danny?"
Danny shook his head in a movement Steve knew well, and had long since mentally named: don't bother me now. "Sorry, Danny, no can do." Steve kept his voice low, determined not to startle Grace. "You need to let someone check Grace, Danny. Just let them make sure that she's fine, okay?" Guilt was a low blow, but Steve was more than willing to use whatever weapon suited the situation. He was sure that Danny would do what was best for his daughter. She was the only reason Danny had ever set foot in Hawaii in the first place. As he told everyone repeatedly.
Danny's shoulders tightened visibly as he pulled himself out of the tight circle of Grace's arms. "Monkey, you need to let this nice man talk to you, okay?"
Steve couldn't hear what Grace said, but the way she buried her face in Danny's neck was statement enough. Rachel laid a hand on Grace's back, but the girl still wouldn't move. Steve could tell that Danny didn't have the strength to argue with Grace, so he held up a hand to stop the paramedic. The man's nametag gave his name as Mike, and Steve suddenly realised that he knew the young man. He wasn't sure what it said about their jobs that he could recognise individual paramedics on sight. Still, the fact that Mike had treated more than one member of Five-0 was going to be a good thing now.
"Mike, give us a second, would you?" At the sound of Steve's voice, Grace dug her fingers deeper into Danny's neck. Danny tried again. "Monkey, it'll be fine. I promise. Mike's a good guy. And your mom will be right there with you."
"I want you, Danno." Grace's plaintive voice almost broke Steve's heart.
"I know, baby. And I want to stay." Another hug. "But I need to go with Uncle Steve and make sure the bad man gets locked in jail."
"Hey, Gracie." Steve stepped in then. "I know you need him, but could you lend me your dad for a little while? I'll bring him back soon, I promise."
Two huge, tear-filled, eyes peered over Danny's shoulder at Steve, then moved to look at Mike. "Mike's okay." Grace stared at Steve, uncertain. "Honest, Gracie. He's looked after me before, and your dad. I'm sure he'll look after you just like your dad would."
Grace turned her stare on Mike. "Really?"
"Yeah, honey. Grace is such a pretty name. Can I call you Grace?" Mike's voice was kind and soothing, and the endorsement from Steve seemed to be enough to get Grace to at least consider letting Mike touch her. She nodded once. "Okay, Grace. How about you and your mom come sit in my ambulance for a bit, and then we'll go see a doctor at the hospital."
Rachel tightened her grip on Grace, lifting her daughter from Danny's arms, and slowly followed Mike. Her voice floated back to Danny. "We'll see you later."
After the ambulance had left, Steve turned to take stock of his partner. Danny stood unmoving, his gaze still fixed on where the ambulance had been parked. Steve wasn't sure Danny even knew where he was. He waved at Chin and Kono, and turned back to Danny. As the other two got close enough to talk to, Steve raised his voice slightly. "Chin, Kono. Can you keep everyone away for a few minutes, please." Two identical nods met his request, and the cousins turned their backs on Danny and Steve, facing out to guard the perimeter of their space. Kono paced, gently scuffing her boots on the tarmac. Chin settled himself, prepared to wait the situation out, while the look on his face warned the unwary to move along. He pulled out his phone, checking the display for a signal, and then dialled a familiar number. A few seconds later, he was talking quietly.
"Danny." Steve kept his voice calm, hoping to head off the storm he was positive Danny was about to experience. He laid a gentle hand on Danny's shoulder and waited until dazed blue eyes finally met his own gaze. "How're you doing?"
Danny stared blankly at him for a second, and then Steve witnessed the most amazing act of self-control he could ever have imagined. Before his astonished eyes, he could see Danny walling off the events of the day, his feelings about it all, and his response to Grace leaving with Rachel. In less than a minute, Danny's eyes were focused on Steve's face and his voice was steady. "I'm fine."
Steve fought to keep his mouth shut, rather than letting his jaw hit the floor in shock. He wasn't a father, and he couldn't imagine the fear and anguish Danny must have felt all day knowing that Peterson had Grace. Knowing that someone he'd once trusted intended to kill an innocent child – Danny's daughter – just to make her father suffer. Still, Steve had been betrayed himself, and if Danny felt anything at all like he'd felt after what happened with Jenna in North Korea, then things were going to get bad. Very bad.
Given the situation now, he was pretty sure Danny had to feel far worse than he had on that cargo plane back home. Yet now Danny would have him believe that he was unaffected, that everything was fine. Steve sighed. It was going to be a long and difficult night, but he knew that it would be worth it in the long run. Danny always was. So he made an effort now. "It's okay, Danny. You don't have to be fine, or say you're fine."
"I told you, Steven, I'm fine." Danny's raised voice drew curious looks from the officers nearby, and the cousins both glanced over at their Jersey friend. Then they looked at each other, sharing volumes in one glance, before turning matching expectant looks on Steve. He nodded back and tried again. "Why don't I take you to the hospital as well?"
"I don't need to be poked and prodded. Do I look like there's anything wrong with me?" The start of a rant lacked fire and failed to carry any momentum. In Steve's eyes, just another indication that Danny was anything but fine.
Even though he was sure there was definitely something wrong with Danny, Steve was smart enough to know that saying so at the moment wouldn't be wise. No matter what anyone said, Steve did know when to let things be. "No, Danny. That's not what I'm saying. I just thought you'd like to be there when they say Grace can go home."
Steve felt a moment's guilt at how easily he was manipulating his partner, but he squashed it quickly. Danny had just lived through a hideous experience, and Steve would rather be sure that Danny was physically okay. Sure, his partner looked fine, but looks could be deceiving. Years in the Navy had proved that to him more than once. He'd use the trip to the hospital to find a way to talk Danny into seeing a doctor.
"Okay, then." Danny capitulated. "Just to see Grace."
Steve used the hand on Danny's shoulder to turn their steps towards the car. He looked back to see Chin talking quietly on his phone. Kono was standing close enough to Chin to get the gist of his conversation. She waved at Danny, offering a smile and making sure the detective saw her support. Chin looked up at Steve and mouthed one word, "Malia." Steve nodded grateful thanks and herded Danny into the car.
Danny sighed and let himself settle into the passenger seat of the car. Normally, he'd fight Steve for the keys, but he was self-aware enough to know that he wasn't a safe driver at the moment. Now that he knew Grace was safe, and Peterson was safely locked away, he could acknowledge the exhaustion lurking just over the horizon. Acknowledge, but not surrender to it. He had no intention of falling apart anytime soon. He'd wait until he could lock himself up alone in his apartment and come unhinged with no witnesses.
All he had to do was act the way he usually did. He'd managed that back in Jersey when Rachel left him, so he was pretty sure he could do it again. Though he had to admit that Steve would be much harder to fool than Rachel.
How could he have missed his ex-partner's need for vengeance? He'd known the man for years, shared time with him, shared beers and confidences. Let him into his home. His life. He'd known the man was angry, but to come all the way to Hawaii just to get even with Danny? How had he missed that level of obsession? And if he'd missed that, what else had he missed over the years? Maybe it was time to consider another career; one less likely to affect Grace. Less likely to cause danger for anyone he cared about.
The lack of chatter from Steve eventually registered, and Danny concentrated on the soothing sounds of the well-tuned engine, the whisper of tyres on the road, and the gentle tapping of Steve's fingers on the steering wheel. Danny realised that they were already over halfway to the hospital. He could feel Steve's need to say something, read it in the increasingly agitated tapping of fingers on the wheel. Danny knew better than to bait a bear in its den, but sometimes it was unavoidable. Besides, baiting Steve would keep his mind off what could have happened to Grace. Off how desperately he wanted to curl up in a ball somewhere and cry like a baby. And acting normally was his goal.
"Spit it out, Steve." Always better to take the initiative. See, he had learned something from his gung-ho partner.
"What, Danny?"
"Whatever's gnawing on you. You've got that face – the one that says you've got the urge to jump in without thinking. So go for it. Jump."
"Go for it?" Steve was incredulous. "This from the man who's always telling me to be more circumspect."
"Circumspect?" Danny couldn't help the grin. "That's a really big word for you, babe."
"I can't help it. Weird things stick in your head when you spend days with a walking dictionary."
"I don't know whether to be flattered or insulted." Danny was amused. And stubborn. "But stop beating around the bush. Just spit it out."
"Okay. Just – hear me out before you say anything." Steve looked hesitant, uncertain, and suddenly Danny wondered what was coming. What could make Steve act like this?
"Is it Stan? Is he okay?" Sudden fear made Danny's pulse skyrocket, and he could barely fight off the need to hyperventilate. If what he'd done to Stan was more serious than he'd thought, or hoped, Rachel would never forgive him. He'd never forgive himself.
"No. No, D. He's fine." Danny sighed and Steve continued. "Just let someone check you over, okay?" Danny bristled and opened his mouth to set Steve straight. But he never got the chance, as Steve cut him off. "For me. Please? I know you think you're fine, and you probably are, but I'm worried, okay? Just let Malia have a look at you. Nothing official, I swear."
Danny could hear the worry in his friend's voice, and admitted to himself that there was no way he wouldn't have dragged Steve to a doctor after a day like this one. He could almost see Steve's point, and then the other man hammered in the final nail. "You didn't listen to me after Korea."
Danny's objections were derailed immediately. He'd done what was best for Steve then; could he blame the other man for doing the same thing now? Nothing like the universe using your own actions to back you into a corner. "Okay. Okay, you win. This time, and only Malia." Steve's smile was worth the surrender.
Rachel Edwards spent the trip to the hospital swinging between euphoria and rage. Grace was safe and the doctors had assured her that Stan would heal well. She should be thrilled that the day was ending well. But it could all have been avoided if not for Daniel. And his obsession with doing the right thing, regardless of the consequences. Everything that had happened could be traced directly back to him, and she was tired of waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Grace snuggled deeper into her arms and Rachel rested her cheek on Grace's hair, smiling gently at her daughter. The paramedic seemed like a nice enough chap, and had made sure not to startle Grace or do anything to upset her. She glanced at the young man and saw him holding out a bottle of water.
"Hey, Grace. Want some water?" His gentle voice got a tiny nod from Grace, and one small hand reached out to take the bottle. While Grace drank, Mike spoke to Rachel.
"She's fine. A little dehydrated," he pointed at the water, "and tired, but nothing water and rest can't fix."
"But what about the rest of it?" Rachel knew she sounded angry and bitter, but today had just been too much for her to cope with alone.
"Kids are resilient." Mike had probably seen and heard it all before, and Rachel wished she could believe him – but this was her daughter they were discussing. Her doubt must have been clear, because Mike laid a gentle hand on Grace's head. "Trust me. She'll be fine."
Rachel bit her lip and kept her opinion to herself, thankful that they'd just turned into the hospital grounds.
Half an hour later, after another doctor had confirmed Mike's assessment, Rachel and Grace made their way along the white hallway to Stan's room. At this time of night, the building was quiet, the hallways mostly empty. Soft voices murmured near the nurses' desk, and a television played quietly in the room next to Stan's.
She'd done her best not to scare Grace, simply telling her that Stan was sick, but Grace was nobody's fool. There would have to be more detailed explanations at some point, and once again, the trail would lead straight back to Daniel. Sometimes, she was sure they would be better off alone, without worrying about where Daniel was, and what sort of trouble he was causing. Grace would be better off. Safer. Rachel made her decision just as Steven and Daniel walked around the far corner of the hallway. Both men looked tired, but under it all there was still an aura of danger. They were men who knew all about the dark side of the world. A world she'd seen more than enough of, and wanted never to see again. Crossing the last few feet separating them, Rachel kept a tight grip on Grace's hand.
"Daniel." She could see he'd expected the frigid tone.
"Rachel." She squelched her quick flare of concern over how exhausted he seemed. This was for Grace, she was doing this for Grace. Everything else was irrelevant. "How's Stan doing?" She wasn't going to let herself care, no matter what he said.
"He'll be fine. No thanks to you." Her voice rose slightly and she could feel her self-control start to slip.
"I'm glad to hear that. And Rachel, I'm sorry. Truly – about everything."
"So you should be. How could you do this? How could you let this happen?" To her utter mortification, Rachel could feel the first tear slip out, which only stoked her anger. She wiped it from her cheek with one quick, angry motion.
"This wasn't my fault, Rachel. I didn't do anything." Daniel kept his voice down, but Rachel was beyond caring.
"It's never your fault, is it? Never. Well, I'm tired of living like this." Rachel let go of Grace's hand in her anger, and never even noticed how the little girl slipped away towards the corner of the hallway.
"Rachel, stop it. You're living the life you chose." Danny's tone of reason did nothing but irritate her. Why was he always so reasonable? Back when they were first married, he'd fought back. But now, when he spoke to her, he was always reasonable, measured, and mostly unfailingly polite. She wanted to throttle him.
"But we'll never be free of this, Daniel. What's going to happen to you next time? Who's going to come back from your past the next time? How many times is Grace going to suffer for something you did?"
She saw the shock on his face, the way he tried to hide the pain her words caused, but just kept going. It felt so good to just let everything go, and she didn't want to stop. She carefully ignored the little voice in her head that reminded her that she'd encouraged him to testify against Peterson.
"Well, I'm stopping it now. I'm doing what I should have done a long time ago. I'm suing for full custody, and I'm going to keep Grace away from you. Any way I can."
Danny's face paled so rapidly that Rachel almost reached out to him. Then he steadied himself with a hand against the wall, before turning to leave. Then Rachel lowered her voice and spoke calmly. "My daughter will not go anywhere with you again. She will stay right here with me, where I can be sure that no harm will come to her."
Rachel reached out to take Grace's hand, only to realise that Grace was no longer standing next to her. She swung around frantically, only to see Steven crouched next to her daughter. Grace was tucked into a corner of the hallway, with the Commander crouched in front of her, talking quietly. Then Grace smiled, and Steven took her hand to lead her back to Rachel. That sharp hazel gaze made it clear that he'd heard at least part of the conversation, but he said nothing. Rather, he turned towards Daniel. And in that moment, Rachel saw the ice in those eyes melt into concerned warmth. Guilt tried to bloom in her heart, but she rooted it out. She held out a hand to Grace, and walked into Stan's room.
Steve watched Rachel and Grace enter Stan's room, too stunned at Rachel's behaviour to speak. He understood that she was upset, that she'd been worried. But how on earth did she think Danny felt? He'd been worried, upset and angry too, but he'd also had Peterson threatening Grace and pointing a gun at him for most of the day. Steve was convinced he'd never understand how some people thought. He snapped out of his thoughts in time to see Grace glance back and wave a hand at him. He lifted a hand and smiled back. Now there was someone special; and far too much like her dad.
When Rachel had started yelling, Grace had made her escape. Steve hadn't thought that was a good idea and he'd stopped her in the corner, crouching down to shield her with his body. In spite of the fact that Peterson was locked up and the hospital was a reasonably secure zone, Steve saw no reason to take chances. Grace was watching her parents fight, tears struggling to break free.
"What's up, Gracie?"
"It's my fault, Uncle Steve."
"What is?"
"Everything. I shouldn't have gone with that man. And now they're fighting again."
"It's not your fault." Steve figured that, even if he could nothing else to help Danny tonight, he could rid Grace of her guilt. Definitely her father's child.
"You didn't do anything wrong. You were tricked."
"But he was a stranger."
"Who looked like a policeman, and knew all about your dad." Grace nodded and Steve smiled at her.
"I bet you don't know this, but a while back the same thing happened to me." Grace fastened huge eyes on Steve's face, attention captured. "Really?"
"Really. I was tricked by a friend and a bad man tied me up in a room too." Steve kept his thoughts away from what else had happened in that small room in North Korea. Grace definitely didn't need to know those sorts of details.
"What happened to you?"
"Your dad happened. He came and found me. Brought me home. Just like he did with you." Steve risked a quick hug, delighted when Grace leaned into him. "And then, when I told him I was sorry, that it was all my fault – do you know what he said to me?" Grace slowly shook her head. "He told me I was being silly. The bad man was the only person to blame. I wasn't wrong to trust someone who looked like a friend."
"You're not silly, Uncle Steve." Steve was thrilled to hear the start of a quiet giggle.
"No? I'm not silly?" Grace grinned and shook her head. "Then why does your dad always tell me that I am?"
"Silly." Grace giggled again as she realised what she'd just said. "It's only because he worries about you."
Steve smiled. Mission accomplished. "So that's why he yells at me so much. You're a very smart girl, Grace Williams." Rachel's raised voice disrupted their quiet corner, followed by Danny's slightly quieter voice. Steve winced at the volume, but managed to get in one last question. "So why do you think they're yelling at each other now?"
"They were worried about me?" A question. Unnecessary, but Steve knew what it was like to want confirmation of the obvious. Steve nodded and took Grace's hand, leading her back to Rachel.
Then he turned his attention to Danny. His partner looked pale and unsteady, and Steve knew the next stop was definitely Malia. He didn't care what Danny thought – or said – about it. He waved at Grace and then laid a hand on Danny's shoulder again, guiding him away.
By the time they'd made it to the private exam room where Malia was waiting, Steve was worried. Or how would Danny put it? He was 'rationally concerned'. Danny hadn't said a word, and wasn't even putting up a fight. He'd let it ride, opting to stay quiet until Malia had finished her quick once over of his partner. Steve knew Danny would be saying 'I told you so' for at least a week, but it set Steve's mind at ease to know that Malia also thought Danny was not much the worse for the day's wear. Now, back in the hallway, armed with nothing more than a bottle of water and determination, Steve readied himself for another battle.
"Danny?" Danny's blank gaze slid over him, and Steve wondered what was going on behind those opaque blue eyes. "You with me?" Steve knew he'd scrunched his face up into one of those expressions that Danny always felt the need to name. He braced himself for the comment, but Danny let the opportunity slide. Another bad sign. "D, say something. Anything. Or I'm taking you back to Malia." That seemed to get through, and Danny roused himself enough to speak.
"I'm fine, Steve. Can we go now?" The tone was bland, almost conversational and Steve fought the urge to snap back, to provoke a stronger reaction. The world was off kilter when Danny was this placid.
"I think that's my line. And for the record, you're not fine. Which is why I'm taking you home." Steve expected an argument, that Danny would be unwilling to leave Grace, and was prepared to use force to make Danny go home and rest.
"Okay."
"Tell you what, why don't – what did you just say?" Steve had been willing to compromise and make concessions to win Danny over. Total surrender left him floundering.
"I said, okay. Are you deaf?"
"You want to swing past Grace first? Say goodnight, maybe?"
"No. Let's just go."
Danny could feel the weight of Steve's stare on the back of his neck. He knew he'd confused his friend, but he couldn't be bothered, at the moment, to deal with the problem. All he could think about, all he could hear, was Rachel saying that she was going to stop him seeing Grace. That Grace would be safer without him around. And most of all, he kept thinking that, this time, Rachel was right. His mind kept circling the same thoughts, while his body operated on autopilot, heading out to the car with Steve.
He wanted to be alone. He could feel the crash coming, and knew it would be bad. "Move it, Steven." Steve's shocked confusion didn't even register. "I'm not standing here all night." As Steve unlocked the car, Danny opened the passenger door and dropped into the seat. The move lacked his usual grace, but at least he'd managed it without his legs giving out on him. He folded his arms across his chest, using the movement to hide the shaking in his fingers. If Steve didn't hurry up, things were going to get very messy, very quickly. The driver's door slammed shut and Danny glanced across just in time to see a bottle flying his way. Reflex kicked in and his hand shot out to grab it, only to have that hand betray him by shaking worse than a leaf in a hurricane. Steve's look said it all.
"Don't, Steven. Do not look at me like that!"
"Like what, Danny?"
"Like you think I need your pity, or something."
"I don't think that."
"Really?" Sarcasm dripped off the word.
"Really." Steve's irrepressible nature shone through. "Although I do pity your dress sense."
"This is professional attire, I'll have you know." The rant was familiar, if weak, and Danny could see some of the concern in Steve's eyes yield.
"According to you. According to me, it's just hot and uncomfortable."
Danny sighed and looked down at the bottle in his trembling hand. "So what does that look mean then?"
"That you'd better not spill that in the car." The comment surprised a small smile onto Danny's face, which froze as Steve went on. "And that I can't imagine how you've felt today, how you're feeling now, but I'm here if you want to tell someone."
The earnest sincerity on Steve's face managed what all the other horrors of the day had failed to do, and Danny felt his control snap. The shaking in his hands threatened to break his grip on the bottle, and the first tear made its way down his cheek. He didn't even feel the gentle hands that rescued the bottle, and settled on his shoulder in comfort while the storm of tears raged and faded. Danny wiped his eyes with trembling fingers, and sighed deeply.
"Now you see why I wanted to go home? I didn't want anyone to see that."
"See what?" Steve sounded nonchalant, his hand still on Danny's shoulder, but his eyes comically fixed on a point just above Danny's head. Danny snorted and shook his head. Then he reached down, plucked his badge from his belt and ran his fingers over the shield. He reached up, took Steve's hand from his shoulder and placed the badge on Steve's palm. "I quit."
Rachel Edwards stared out the hospital window at the darkness. Stan slept in the bed behind her and Grace was dozing on the cot the nurses had set up for Rachel to use. Now that she was alone, now that her fear-fuelled anger had faded, she could see just how unreasonable she'd been earlier. She'd been terrified, but that was no reason to take it out on the man she'd once loved. She was too proud to admit she'd been wrong. She'd always known pride was one of her worst faults, but right now her pride was keeping her strong. A quiet groan and a rustle of sheets behind her had her spinning around.
"Stan." Two long steps took her to his bedside and the look in his eyes made it clear how much he loved her. He patted the mattress with his good hand, and Rachel sat, taking that hand in both of hers.
"I love you." Stan sounded tired and Rachel tried to hush him. "No. I need to say this. I love you, and Grace and Charlie." He took a deep breath, and winced. "Today made me think. We've had our problems, but that much is true. I love you all, and I should say it more. I'm just so glad I have second chance."
Rachel laid a hand against Stan's cheek and sniffed hard to stop the tears coming. "I know. Grace knows. And I'm making sure we all stay safe from now on." Stan raised an eyebrow, and Rachel rushed on. "I've told Daniel he's to stay away. I'm going to get full custody."
"No." Stan shook his head, the sharp movement making him gasp. "You can't do that."
"This is his fault, Stan. This happened because of something he did." Rachel shook her head, then dragged her hands through her hair, gathering it at the back of her head and letting it all drop again. "And then, today … look what he did today." Rachel waved a hand at Stan's bandages, the drips, the hospital bed and room.
"Danny only did what any of us would have done." Stan was certain, and the knowledge made him admire Danny's strength of character.
"How can you say that? He could have killed you!"
"If it came down to a choice between me or Grace, I'd choose Grace too." Rachel felt her jaw drop, but Stan carried on. "I like to think I'd have made the same choice, but I'm not sure I'd have the courage." Stan smiled sadly. "Danny's very brave. And a very good shot. The doctor tells me that he did the least amount of damage possible." Stan sighed and shifted in the bed. "I don't appreciate the pain, but I do appreciate the skill. I'd like to tell him that tomorrow."
Stan reached out and Rachel felt him take her hand. She looked down to see his fingers linked with hers. "I'm scared, Stan. What if something else, someone else, comes back from his past?
"Remember last year? Hoffman?" Rachel nodded. "That was all because of me. My fault. He's never used that against me. Or you." He tightened his grip on Rachel's fingers. "You can't use this against him. It's not right. You know that."
"Yes. I do know that." Rachel's admission was quiet.
"Then call him. Tell him that. I think he needs to know." Stan was fading now, the drugs making him sleepy again. Rachel leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. "Okay."
Moving away from the bed, she found her handbag and dug through it, looking for her phone. She was about to hit the speed dial for Danny when she remembered that he didn't have a phone at the moment. After a moment's thought, she dialled another number and waited for an answer.
"I won't accept your resignation. Take it back." Steve's voice was firm and confident. If only. He didn't know what he'd do if he couldn't convince Danny not to leave Five-0.
"Then I'll give it to the Governor." Oh, great, Danny thought he could do an end run around Steve.
"He won't accept it either. Not after something like this, and not without talking to me first." Steve hoped his desperation wasn't clear in his voice. The thought of doing his job without his partner, his back-up – his best friend – was truly painful. He settled his gaze on Danny's face and saw the flash of panic and despair before Danny spoke again.
"This isn't your decision to make, Steve. No matter how much you've grown accustomed to getting what you want, sometimes the answer is no. And in this case, you're definitely not getting a say. I have no choice."
"There's always a choice, D."
"Maybe once. But I made the wrong choice, Steve. Now I have to live with it, and what it's caused."
"What wrong choice?" Steve was exasperated and confused. "You testified against a crooked cop. Sounds like the right choice to me."
"You'd think, wouldn't you?" Danny's small, sad smile worried Steve. It seemed to hide so much – things Steve wished he could get Danny to share. As he tried to find the right words, Danny spoke again, quiet and certain.
"I'm a hypocrite, Steve."
"Come again? You're always complaining about my grip on reality, Danny – now where's yours?"
"It's true. I'm always telling people, most notably you, I might add, how important the law is. That it's what helps keep us civilized, that it stops us being animals."
Steve nodded. He'd been hearing variations on this speech since he met Danny. The detective in his partner had always been a strong upholder of the rule of law. The man who'd become his best friend was just as devoted to law and justice – a characteristic they shared. How this could equate to Danny being a hypocrite was beyond him. "Yeah, so?"
"So? What did I do today, Steven? Answer me that, why don't you."
"Okay. You found and arrested a murdering kidnapper, who happened to be a crooked ex-cop from New Jersey. And most importantly, you found Gracie alive and well."
"That's what I did, huh?" Steve nodded, but Danny seemed unconvinced. "So you didn't notice the rest of it? Where I physically assaulted a suspect, tried to drown him in a swimming pool no less, then shot an innocent man in a public park, and then shot another person in the leg so that he'd tell me what I wanted to know?" Danny's voice had climbed with each word, until he was yelling. "What part of all that did you miss, Steven?"
"None of it." Steve figured he might as well nail his colours to the mast. "I'd have done the same thing. I'd probably have done worse." He reached out to squeeze Danny's arm gently. "But none of that makes you a hypocrite, Danny. It just makes you human. Just someone facing a situation you should never have had to face, and doing the best you could."
Danny turned incredulous blue eyes on him, and Steve was struck by the despair he saw there. "I'd have killed him, Steve. Stan. If I hadn't seen you coming, I would have killed him."
"No, you wouldn't."
"You don't know that."
"Sure I do. I know you. You would have found another way."
Danny's silence let Steve think about what Danny had said, run it backwards and forwards through his mind. He still felt there was something missing. Something Danny was holding back. An ambush was often the most effective form of attack. "Now, how about you tell me the real reason you want to quit."
"I already told you." Steve admired the firm, steady voice, but also noticed how his partner wouldn't look him in the eye.
"And I said I was fine on the plane from North Korea." He saw that hit home, watched Danny's last defences crumble.
"It's Grace." Danny bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. "Rachel's convinced this is all my fault. She's going to sue for full custody. All I can think is that if I'm not a cop anymore, maybe … maybe I can still see my daughter."
Steve thought he'd been angry at Peterson, at what the man had put Danny and Grace through today, but now he realised what real anger was. What he wouldn't give to tell Rachel exactly what he thought of her. But he'd start by sorting Danny out first.
"You do know it's not your fault, right?"
"Yeah. Now. When she said it, there outside Stan's room, all I could think was that she was right. But if it hadn't been me, then it would have been someone else, back then, back in New Jersey. He was dirty, and someone would have turned him in."
"Good. At least you've got that straight."
"What are you planning, Steve?" Danny's smile was weak, but honest. Even a little fond. "I can practically see the cogs turning in what passes for your brain."
"Nothing. Just thinking."
"Just thinking. Pull the other one, babe. You don't ever 'just think'. Now spill it."
"Okay, okay. Has anyone ever told you that you're really pushy? And annoying?"
"A time or ten. Or more. Usually you, now that I think about it. Now talk."
"You don't really want to quit, do you?" Steve had seen how Danny looked at his badge before he handed it over. Like he'd been handing over a piece of his soul, ripped from a bleeding wound that would never heal.
"No. But like I said, this is about Grace."
"I get that. What if I can get Rachel to change her mind?"
"Oh, good luck with that." Danny actually laughed. "I never could."
"I'm not you." Steve's grin was evil. "What if I can?"
"Then I'm calling the Pope to investigate a miracle."
Steve headed back to the hospital entrance, anger making his steps quick and sure. He'd left Danny in the car, fighting off the last of the shakes. He geared himself up mentally, determined to get an outcome he could live with. One that Danny could live with as well. He wasn't like Danny; he'd fight as dirty as he had to, to get the outcome he wanted. Rachel had no idea what was heading her way. He heard his phone ring and stepped off the path to pull it out of his pocket and answer it. The voice he heard was unexpected.
"Commander?"
"Mrs. Edwards?"
"Could I have a word with Daniel, please."
"Actually, no. I don't think he's up to it at the moment."
"What's wrong with him?" The concern sounded genuine, but Steve didn't care.
"He's had a really bad day. Topped off with threats from you about not letting him see Grace."
"Oh."
"'Oh' is right. I don't care who you think you are, but you don't get to treat a good man like dirt and walk away. Not if I have any say in it."
"Commander."
"I'm going to help him fight you." Someone needed to take Danny's side in this argument, and Steve had decided he was more than willing to take the strain. "I'll fight you, every inch of the way. I'll bet a judge would just love to hear about last year – the whole thing with Hoffman and Stan's involvement."
"Commander!"
"What?"
"If I could say something?" Steve paused and let her tone register. She didn't seem angry, but quiet. Almost resigned. "Okay."
"I just wanted to tell Daniel that I'm sorry. That I let my emotions run away with me. And that I've no intention of changing our custody arrangement."
"Good."
"Stan also reminded me of last year. He was right, and so are you." Rachel took a deep breath and Steve could clearly hear her disbelief. "He said he'd like to thank Danny tomorrow. For shooting him so accurately." Her tone was all dry British reserve, and Steve couldn't fight the grin it brought to his face.
"Okay. Look, let me just get back to the car and you can talk to Danny." Steve was already on his way, and could see Danny getting out of the car in response to Steve's sudden return. Steve waved to indicate that nothing was wrong, and Danny could wait at the car.
"Thank you. And Commander? You're a very loyal friend."
"I learned from the best."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. Danny." He wished he could see the look of shock he was sure was on Rachel's face. Picturing it amused him, but he opted not to let that show in his voice. "Here he is."
Steve handed the phone to Danny and took a step away to offer the other man some space. Danny leaned against the car while he listened and Steve turned away to look around the parking lot. He catalogued the cars coming and going. Assessing threat levels. Old, ingrained habits died hard, or in his case, not at all. He shoved his hands in his pockets and let his fingers trace the edge of Danny's badge. He pulled the badge out of his pocket and idly turned it over and over in his hand. The cadence of Danny's voice told him the conversation was coming to an end, and Steve turned to face his partner just in time to see Danny smile. The detective offered him the phone back, and Steve pocketed it.
The darkness was lifting from Danny's eyes, and Steve smiled at the renewed enthusiasm filling his partner. "She said Grace can spend tomorrow with me. She'd like to spend the day here with Stan, so I can pick Grace up here in the morning." Danny stared into space for a moment. "Maybe we should go to the aquarium again. Grace likes it there. I know she'd probably rather go to the beach, but … too many people, you know? After today."
Steve cut in with a smile. "Or you could just come to my place. Spend the day, use my beach."
"You sure?" Steve nodded and Danny smiled. "Grace really loves the beach." Danny hit his stride, arms starting to wave again. "But there's no way she's going surfing with you. Don't get that look on your face. You know there are sharks out there, and my baby is not going to be shark food."
Steve grabbed one of the waving arms and smiled broadly as he slapped the badge he still held into the palm of Danny's hand. Danny stared at it, the emblem of his calling, the physical sign of the justice he believed existed in the world. Silent, he raised his eyes to Steve's and smiled back, just as Steve spoke quietly.
"Welcome back, Danno."