The Life of Chachamaru
The story you see here is a documentary (or MOCK-umentary) of a lost friend. This does NOT reflect any of the Negima stories or dialogues, at all!
This is also set in Play Form, for interviews.
Part 1
Michelle Nevins, of The Gang, is walking by Mahora Academy, with a microphone in hand.
(Michelle Nevins): It was here on this fiscal field of Mahora Girls Academy that one person stood tall on the pavement. She was a very special girl. She had very peaceful traits, she had very useful knowledge, and she makes a great tea. But what do the students have to say about the very special girl? Well, we figured that we ask around and see what make her tick.
This here is the documentary about the life of Chachamaru Karakuri, a beautiful robot girl. We shall go back in time and view the spunky and stiff gynoid, from beginning to end, until the end of days…
Behind the Superstar: The Life and Career of Chachamaru
Most people considered her as a useful girl, if not for studying. Some say that Karakuri was a special creation. She was created in Satomi Hakase's laboratory, along with Lingshen Chao, on January 3rd, 2001. She was built as the assistant to Evangeline McDowell. Reasons were unknown.
(Satomi Hakase "Chacha's Co-creator"): When I first created her, she was simply made to resemble Eva's little doll. However, we figured that child robots are very lousy. So, we upped her offer and made an adult-like woman of Chachamaru, as Eva named her, complete with a sturdy hip, an ample bust, and antenna-like ears, perfect for picking up radio signals in Mahora.
(Lingshen Chao "Chacha's Co-creator"): We wanted to name her different, but she just glared at us. We figured that we keep the name, rather than Mai Chai Delight, or M.C. Delight, if you keep up with the times.
In her first activation, April 1st, 2001, Chachamaru woke up to find her sight on Eva.
(Evangeline "Chacha's best friend"): Her first words were "Mother…" I'm surprised that she called me, Evangeline A.K. McDowell, her mother! Well…
Evangeline started to blush, as she turned away from the camera.
(Evangeline): Well… She is beautiful. Not as beautiful as me. I have a wicked body like her, unlike you mortals.
As time went on, she served Evangeline as her bodyguard and mentor, powered by a key that uses magic. Not many people know this, but Evangeline is a vampire, and he can use powers than a normal Magister Magorum.
Of course, to maintain an education, Chacha enrolled in Eva's school, Mahora Academy, in which Eva was enrolled in, as well.
(Eva): That's a bleeding lie! I was forced on by Dean Konoe!
For years, she stayed by Evangeline, studying many lessons. They stayed close, for a weird duo. The robot lasted one year with Professor Takamichi Takahata, and the remainder of her semesters with Professor Negi Springfield. She was considered one of the many top-grade students in her class.
(Ayaka Yukihiro "Class Rep"): If you ask me, it was surprising to see a robot be a head of the class. But she's wasn't number one, in our class. There were Hakase, Bookworm, and even that creepy Zazie. But if anyone were to be dumber than Chachamaru, it'd be Asu-.
While many students surpassed her grade average of A-minus, Chachamaru was simply the class favorite.
(Ayaka): I'm Class Rep!
But she never chatted with ANY of her peers in the classroom or dorms.
(Yue Ayase): She and Evangeline would live in a small log cabin, outside the forest. It was from what I hear from Haruna. Nodoka usually visits her for some cutlets that she helped make with the other students. They usually were left on the plate, untouched.
(Mana Tatsumiya): I hear that she's a hermit; wading in the trees, along with Eva.
(Zazie Rainyday): She's purely a jungle machine.
(Mana): 10 points.
(Madoka Kugiyima): Nobody knows where they live. It was like mysterious.
(Sakurako Shiina): Yeah, totally! It was like, "Whoa! She's not living in the dorms"?
(Nodoka Miyazaki "Assistant Class Rep"): I have no comment…
While her whereabouts remain an enigma, her lifestyles, in her beginnings, were well-known, and later forgotten. In an exclusive footage, caught on tape, we see Chachamaru fighting with Negi Springfield, flicking him on the head, constantly, while he tried to say something. This happened during one of an Idol's movies at night.
(Chiu-Chiu): One minute, I was doing a special footage show of me, walking at the night sky, when all of a sudden, there were two figures appeared from the blue and suddenly started to brawl! Chiu-Chiu was scared! It was like a golden moment! I must save it for prosperity! But I was all like, "THE HELL IS THIS? One of my classmates is assaulting a teacher?"
Chiu-Chiu, or Chisame Hisegawa, started to growl in anger, as she slammed her fist on the table.
(Chiu-Chiu): Why did this happen? I had to report this story to the Dean, but he didn't believe me!
The footage showed of Chachamaru, pinning down Negi, as Evangeline was about to take Negi's blood. But as Asuna stepped in and charged at Eva, the picture was gone.
(Chiu-Chiu): And before I knew it, the battery died. Damn!
No one knew how it happened, but everyone never knew it, except the teacher. He stated that it was some sort of ritual, and Negi was joining in on the fun.
Chacha also had a pastime of caring for the streets. She often care for stray cats, she help children cross the streets, and she even work part-time, at a local café and gift shop. Once wind heard of her good deeds, talent agencies were hounding over her, like it was some kind of Country Bear Jambor-oo around here. As she was interviewed, she was ecstatic, but she'd never leave her master. She stayed with her, mostly making tea.
(Evangeline): Well, after one more match with Negi, I lost. She told me about it, and I said, why the hell not. It'll be good free time, before we siphon Negi's blood soon.
Thus the career of Chachamaru came to be. The hair with the shade of a light puce, her skin so soft and metallic, and her model-shaped body, she was declared the perfect girl. But what was the role she played? She was an all-purposed robot: Singing, dancing, acting, and all that jazz. Of course, she works on the entertainment business on a nightly basis, during her school nights.
(Takamichi Takahata "Teacher in Mahora"): Everyone gets to have an education here, but the Dean told me that she must complete school, before enduring her new life. I asked her if she'd stay with us to learn, before we let her out to the world, but she said that she wanted to stay, as long as no one finds her robotic.
(Satomi): When we learned that, if was obvious that she needed an upgrade. So, we all pitched in and made a synthetic skin. This is more of an apodictic form for Chachamaru.
(Asuna Kagurazaka "Dummy Red"): I happened to be there, when she suddenly went with the transformation. She posed to all of us, in the bathhouse, and she was sleek and sexy.
(Chamo "an Ermine"): Technically, the robot becomes an android.
(Asuna): I was jealous of her, since she almost looks human. She may have skin, but her eyes and ears were a dead giveaway.
(Haruna Saotome): She has no girth than me. My boobs are way better.
(Chizuru Naba): Even Natsumi agrees that I have the biggest.
Debates showed that Chacha was simply the eye-candy for everyone. Sadly, she was at a young age. She was a 14-year old girl, form-wise, and a five-year old creation. When she finished Middle School, Chachamaru Karakuri went on the High School and show business. She stayed in Mahora, but gets the best tutoring that money cannot buy. This is good, because Negi teaches to her, every single day.
Michelle Nevins is in the background of Ikebukuro.
(Michelle): While many people disliked the concept of a robot from a middle school, Chacha was well-recognized in Japan. During her run in Japan, she gained respect in Akihabara, Tokyo, Nikko, Kobe, and Okinawa. Right here, where I am standing, is the Owl District, Ikebukuro, in the boondocks of Tokyo, Japan. This is where Chachamaru first made her first film appearance in a horror flick. She was one of the victims in the story, right around the beginning of the movie. How she died was a very awful scene.
(Michelle; whispering): She got bludgeoned repeatedly…
(Michelle): Of course, to simulate blood, Chacha had to use blood patches to make movie magic. Because of that wondrous feat of B-movie magic, Chacha the star was born.
When starting in movies, Chachamaru ALWAYS played in bit roles. People say that she stands out like a rock. However, she stood like a huge tree.
Many movie roles she played were innocent bystanders, people from the crowd, patients, and one role she played was as a mannequin in a store.
(Makie Sasaki "Nobody cares"): It was like she was made to be a mannequin! Chacha was simply stiff, and she had to be shut down for a couple of hours on end. Her performance was flawless!
(Ayaka): Nobody cares who or what they say about Chacha. Makie and I saw her in her very first role and she was like, she sucked! Makie approved it, but I told her that THAT'S another reason why she fails at being Makie! Then she stayed in her seat for six hours.
(Makie): I was shocked… but I saw a replay of the movie, as a mannequin, just like her. Then, the usher found me and kicked me out.
(Ayaka): Pathetic.
The gynoid sashayed her way into the stardom world, but not just the world of movies. In fact, she was originally casted to be in "glee: the movie". Sadly, she was rejected, before they found out.
(Mana): Not a good singer.
(Zazie): She'd be the Android Idol.
(Mana): 200 Points…
(Zazie): Remainder three.
Chachamaru may not sing with the glee cast, but her voice was as heavenly as a kite. It was there, in her very first starring role, she sung a beautiful rendition of "Moonlight Bay". Her voice was like the echoes of a thousand suns. But her voice was like a woman's heavenly operetta voice.
She later began singing in the London Symphony Hall, in which Negi took her, during summer break. Chachamaru went on to sing her first soprano tune… in the most shocking way possible.
Chachamaru, in her black evening gown, started to sing in soprano.
Falling in love is like falling for make-believe… Falling in love, in love, is playing the FOOOOOOOOOL!
SMASH!
Glass shattered in Negi's glasses. Chachamaru bowed and said, "Forgive me, Professor Negi. Was that not bad?"
Negi said, "Oh, no problem. I'll have these glasses fixed, by the end of the weekend."
She blushed and apologized. Negi applauded, as she sang again.
Sweet… Sweet… Sweet mystery of life… Love… Love… Love and ways of LIIIIIIIIFE!
SMASH!
The windows broke.
Eventually, she went on to singing pop music. Her operetta became a dead duck. This marked the beginning of the greatest career of her life. Chachamaru became a household name in pop music, becoming the next… well, we cannot say yet.
Coming up (in the next chapter): The birth of CHACHA-Mania!
(Negi): Well, I'm surprised that a robot of young age and model size would turn out to be a pop icon.
And later: The day that changed her forever… The Wedding Bells for a robot!
When our MOCK-umentary continues…