My friend went trick-or-treating as Sealand, and insisted I write a monologue for her so she could rant and spread awareness to the "best country ever," and so I wrote this with her, and I'm putting it up here so it looks like I've been working hard at writing when I've really done nothing with my real stories, these fanfic stories, or my Nano book…so here ya go!
References at bottom:
Hello friend! My name is Sealand!
…I'm Sealand…you know…the country?
Figures. Everyone forgot about me after WWII, but around 12 years ago, my amazing prince called for my independence! That jerk England just left me here and didn't aid me or my citizens. He said he didn't consider me part of his territory so that obviously made me my own country! I'm a small country, but I've got a big heart! And thanks to my good friend's America-
"THE HERO!"
-and Japan, my economy is doing great! I've got two new citizens, (boosting it up to a total of six!), I'm selling Sealand passports, Sealand currency-I've had a bit of a run-in with THOSE…damn Cubans forging everything…
Anyway, I just recently got new high speed internet-and my own website! You should look me up sometime! I can order things online like melon soda, chocolate, and even shoes! I'm saving up for a helicopter so my heliport isn't all sad and lonely and alone during the cold winters…
I have boats by Sealand too. Lots of them! I have guns too. I'm totally war savvy. After I was formed in September 6, 1967, Germany attacked me, and it's ironic because I was made to attack German air raiders! I won of course, because Sealand never gives up!
I'm going to keep growing until everyone recognizes me as a country and have that stupid Brit rue the day he left me! So, I should be on my way now…Oh by the way! If you're interested in buying me you can look online! I'm only 7.00000 Euros!
References to Sealand's history and references to Hetalia are…
"Damn Cubans forging everything…"
Sealand had a mixup a few years back where the passports and currency were being forged by Cubans. If you live/are Cuban, take no offense. Remember, it's Hetalia. Which means its officially offensive, no matter how you look at it… xC
"Germany attacked me…I was made to attack German air raiders!"
This is the reason why Sealand was made (if you didn't know that, you are either a forgetful idiot, or you missed that Hetalia episode). Ironically, German troops decided to mess with the people of Sealand, and invaded, taking the Prince's son for a short period of time. They got him back though. This was around the time where Great Britain claimed Sealand wasn't his property, which just boosted Sealanic moral and their belief that they are a country.
"I've got two new citizens (boosting it up to a total of six!)"
Yup. Hetalia caused two new people to move to Sealand. Suck it.
"If you're interested in buying me you can look online! I'm only 7.00000 Euros!"
This one is complicated. But Sealand's new prince put Sealand up for sale on E-Bay, for an estimated 7.00000 something (we had no idea what the form of currency was, as we had made this monologue ten minutes BEFORE we went out), and it was either bought by Sweden, or it's still for sale. I have absolutely no idea though, so…yeah.
"Thanks to my good friends America…and Japan, my economy is doing great!"
I have no idea if it's just the fangirls buying Sealandic things or just cool nerds who read science magazine, but Americans and Japanese people are controlling Sealand's economy. They buy all their things, and stuff.
Which really makes me wonder, how do the Sealandic citizens earn a living? Do they have to go to sell fish in the UK? I don't know…
"I'm saving up for a helicopter so my heliport isn't all sad and lonely…"
Sealand has a heliport. We have never seen a picture of Sealand with a helicopter on it. There is a ten minute video on Youtube of Sealand, shot over-head with a helicopter, but still…
"I just recently got new high speed internet-and my own website!"
Sealand actually did just get internet. Which is why he's "always on the computer" in the show/manga/web comic.
"I can order things online like melon soda, chocolate, and even shoes!"
This reference was simply me and the stupidity of my friend. She found that getting Sealand's shoes was very difficult and she couldn't find a reference in the anime of them and so we added this as a joke, saying Sealand had too many shoes…
This is something I just noticed though…Sealand's name is Peter…he left "Mother Britain," which is where Peter Pan was written, and Peter Pan left his mom so he could be a kid forever…Even if that stupid Hetalia Bonus Episode of Sealand growing up isn't just some random shit, I find the connection funny.
We didn't have her say this to everyone on Halloween. She shortened it, and simply said what she was dressed up as, how big she was, and how much money she cost. We actually made some people believe in what she was telling them…it was awesome…