Written for the Star Challenge, for the prompt Dubhe. Write about Peter Pettigrew.

Word Count - 435

I Hope They Know

I wasn't always a bad person. I was a good friend, I think, and I had good friends. The best. I ruined it. I ruin everything.

I didn't want to be so weak. I wanted to be like them, like James and Sirius and like Remus. They were always stronger, but they accepted me anyway, and I loved them. We grew up, and they stayed by my side, they never ditched me, they accepted me for who I was. For who they thought I was. For who I thought I was. They were the best friend's anyone could ask for, and I was so lucky. Until I betrayed them.

Its the biggest mistake I've ever made. It's the worst thing I've ever done. It's my biggest regret. I wish I could turn back time.

When he approached me, I knew it was accept or die. I wasn't stupid. I've never been stupid. The choice was there, and it was mine to take. I could have refused. I could have forfeited my life to save my friends. It's what they would have done. It's what I should have done. But I was too weak. I was a coward. I made the wrong choice.

I should have died. I should have died, rather than betray my friends, as they would have done for me.

As I heard the news, pain shot through me like never before, but I knew I still had a job to do. My lift would be over, regardless, if I didn't finish. I waited. He knew where to find me. I knew he would, he never was one accept betrayal, I knew he would come after me. He did. I told all who would listen that he betrayed them, and I blasted apart the street. That was the first time I had ever committed actual murder. That hurt more than cutting off my finger ever could.

I let him take the fall. I let him go to Azkaban in my place. It's the second worst thing I've ever done. I'm a coward.

As I spend my life as a rat, unable to transform, I have years to look back on all the things I did wrong. I hope they know I loved them, regardless of my actions. I hope they know I never meant to betray them, all those years ago when they took my under their wing. I hope they know that I regret what I did. I hope they know it was the actions of a weak man who wished he could he stronger. I hope they know..I hope they know.