Blood in Honey.
Side by side, long legs draped over the edge of a time-tested brown couch. It sank beneath their weight as wide eyes stared intently at the low-light of the television. It was strange. The letdown of the day was almost crushing in that small room.
Light, from cars crawling by, crept in between the slats in the blinds as Kagome rubbed her eyes at the intrusion. Next to her sat her room-mate, laying his arms haphazardly across the arm of the sofa. His long hair spilled over his face, covering the five-o'clock shadow he'd colored throughout the day.
Quietly, the girl peeked at him out of the blurring corners of her vision. Normally, they would sit and talk about the day, their relationships, their separate lives that were somewhat of a mystery outside of their homestead.
But, tonight of all nights, they were dead silent, save from the banter of the show they were staring through. Tension cut through the living room and gripped at Kagome's throat as she tried to breathe. InuYasha seemed to be just as still, coiling his legs beneath his worn pajamas.
For a moment, she closed her eyes only opening them to see his dark eyes falling upon her. The contact made her skin light on fire, and her stomach tie itself in knots. There had always been something between them, yes. At the same time, the distance was a barrier from letting them ruin what they had constructed.
InuYasha would have bit her with sarcasm and left her aching in the sheets of her bed. Yet, as he watched her through the murky haze, he smirked coyly and returned his attention to the television.
"You've been awfully quiet, tonight." He rasped, brushing a hand through his messy black hair.
The woman pouted, embarrassed that he'd caught her somewhat staring. In all the years they'd lived this way, Kagome had been proud to tuck away her desires and hide them with her lost socks. "I've just, um, got somethings on my mind right now. Would you mind not looking at me like that?"
InuYasha scoffed, holding his head up lazily with his hand. "You mind telling me what is?" He cleared his throat when he saw her eyes dart to her bare feet, finding them fidgeting against the wooden floor.
Kagome sucked in her lip and let out a sigh. Her head shook slightly as she tried to formulate a sentence that didn't seem absolutely stupid. It was harder than she thought it would be, as her nails found their way into her mouth by way of nervous habit.
InuYasha lolled his head back against the couch, sending her a dark glare. The girl's cheeks were stained red, and he couldn't help but find the ruddy color adorable. "Spit it out, Kagome. I know we can sit here all night, but it's kind of annoying when you don't tell me shit." He said poignantly.
The woman huffed and pushed herself to her feet, flailing her arms as her clothes sagged against her slender frame. "No. I'm just going to go to bed and forget I even thought of it, okay?" She snapped, eyes brazen and aware.
As she tried to walk away, InuYasha's calloused hand caught her wrist. She jerked against him as her eyes fell on his and felt the surge of heat singe her pores. "Fine, but you better tell me in the morning." He said sternly, finding the woman rolling her eyes before she sighed an agreement.
"You're so stubborn." InuYasha quipped as he stood tall beside her, gripping her jaw softly. He scrunched his nose at her and placed a ginger kiss a top her crown of silky hair.
She instantly recoiled and scowled at the man. "You don't even have room to talk, InuYasha." Kagome grumbled hoarsely, separating from him to go left as he went right.
As soon as they were both out of sight, they slumped against their doors defeatedly. Kagome took it harder than her best friend, and let a few tears soil her porcelain skin. She looked down at the shirt she was wearing and grimaced at the name of his band scrolled across it. It smelled like him and felt like it had been worn a million times, and probably had.
She hadn't been the only woman to wear it, but she was the first and the only one who could go into his closet, or his laundry basket, or pile on the floor, and take it. God, she had been savage in her suicide attempt, apparently. Living with InuYasha was like dying. She wanted nothing more than to absolve those turbulent feelings that richoeted through her veins.
Glowering, Kagome pushed her computer chair into her neatly organized desk and let her books tumble on the floor. She was blind in the darkness, but soon found her plush bed; the one truly nice thing she owned, and flopped face first into the askew sheets.
Five arduous years had been spent lingering side by side, arm by arm, room by room...
Brushing the cool cotton pillowcase over her face, Kagome nullified the salty ache that burned her sore eyes. Her sister had been so lucky to have known his body and known that warmth. Shuddering, the girl felt disgusted. Kikyo moved on and found someone else, leaving him homeless and begged for Kagome to have a heart and let him move in.
It would have been cruel if she had said no. What she thought was a fleeting crush on that wayward twenty-something, turned out to be this plaguing need. If the love she felt was romantic, she was pretty let down. InuYasha was comfort. Kikyo had let him go for a businessman in Sendai and left her sister to clean up the mess.
Sometimes, Kagome could have killed her older brother for even bringing the man into their home and letting their dewy eyes crawl all over him like a piece of meat. "Ugh," The girl grunted, covering her head with the pillow, screwing her eyes closed to wash away the image she imagined. "I don't like him."
Those long legs of his were covered in soggy-rain soaked jeans, and his long hair clung to his arms like a film. He was smoking a cigarette in the doorway of their childhood home, and his dark eyes were precarious and filled with something unbridaled.
It was that moment that she always remembered. Now, she thought about how he left his cigarette butts in dishes in the sink, instead of the new ashtray she bought him. And, how exactly he found any of his laundry that she didn't do, she'd never know.
All of the girlfriends in since Kikyo hadn't done his laundry, cooked him dinner, or popped his back when he whined about sleeping wrong at his job. These visceral feelings began brewing when she spilled her heart and soul to him after her boyfriend had left her. Koga had been the only one she'd ever had, and it was safe to say that it had been too long since.
Maybe, she sighed, attention was what she wanted? Questioning it was suitable, wasn't it? All of these curiousities were sustaining this desire to walk across the room and slap a kiss on that soft looking mouth of his.
Kagome tensed and peered into the gloomy haze of the bedroom. "What the hell am I thinking?" She seethed, kicking the covers off of her legs. Sitting up, her hands wove her hair around her collar as she furrowed her brows.
The heat was getting to her. Swallowing, she got up and flipped on her fan, enjoying the drowning whir of the blades as it kissed her damp skin. Her head leaned against the wall as she stared absently at the pinboard of photos resting on her corkboard.
She wondered what he was doing. Was he already sleeping? Would he mind her sleeping in his bed again? Part of her hated to admit how often she had sleptwalk in there and crowded his bed with her pillow and assortment of things.
Speaking of, her eyes fell on her desk and realized that she had left her phone in his room. A striking jolt hit her heart as she became aware that if he were to open it, there would be plenty of evidence of her interest.
Jumping up, the woman tip-toed across her bedroom floor, parting her door to find a trace of light coloring the blackness with a creamy glow. She licked her lips and braced herself, nerves and hands working against her.
As she found the courage to knock on his door, she froze upon hearing the softest of sounds. Leaning against the door, she pressed her ear against the chilly wood. Her teeth cupped her lip as she heard the obvious gasps and pants coming from his mouth.
The tips of her toes curled in tune with the pang hitting her lower abdomen. Guilt ate at her as she pressed her small hand against the surface, digging deeper into the barrier between them. She wanted to open the door, but held onto her fear as her lids covered her wide eyes.
A few jagged breaths cut through the air when Kagome felt his door give beneath the pressure of her body. She gasp as the door creaked open, sending her falling to her knees. Looking up, cheeks ablaze with fire, she let out a shriek.
InuYasha yelped, jerking his pillow over his lap, mouth agape. "What in the fuck are you doing? Don't you fucking knock?" He rasped, staring at her frazzled body as she tried to stop trembling.
"I-I-I'm sorry, Inu...yasha." Kagome panted, holding her hand to her mouth as she stared at the thrush of clothing laying on his floor. She couldn't make herself look at his lanky and bare body. It may have killed her.
The man palmed his face and rolled his eyes. Slumping over his lap, he adjusted the covers in an attempt to deter the attention from the blood prickling his cheeks. "It's okay. Figured this would have happened years ago." He shrugged his hair off of his shoulder and reached for a pack of cigarettes from his nightstand.
Kagome swallowed hard and slowly began to slow her breathing. She could feel his dark eyes beating down on her and it made her want to crawl within herself, or at least, back out of the door. "...I'm just, um, going to go back to bed. I just needed my phone."
InuYasha smirked at her and chewed at his lip for a moment. "Oh?" His brows perked coyly, hair disheveled and frazzled from the friction. "You mean, the one that is sitting on my bed?"
He wanted her to look at him! A twinge of anger struck her senses as she pouted in response. "You just want me to come over there, don't you?" She narrowed her silvery eyes and barely peeked at him through her lashes.
InuYasha blew a plume of smoke out of the corner of his lips, patting the side of his flannel covered futon. "Come on, Kagome." He shrugged. "We can be adults about this, or we can act like we've never seen someone else's junk."
The girl kept her eyes pinned to the sheets hanging over the side of his bed as she slowly climbed on. Her head turned towards his tall lamp, looming in the corner of his messy room.
InuYasha let out a sigh and picked up the phone from the sheets and held out his hand. Blindly, she reached for the heat that crept into her space and barely grazed his skin. It sent rivulets of urgency into her fingers, making her flinch.
"Kagome," InuYasha breathed, stamping out his cigarette.
The girl blinked and shot a fearful glance over her shoulder. Her mouth parted to speak, but her voice lingered in the center of her throat.
"Why won't you look at me?" He asked, shifting his body beneath the covers as he rested his head upon his hand. "I'm covered up, I'm not going to like, attack you or anything."
Kagome closed her eyes as she sank down on her back. She slowly rolled onto her side and faced him, inspecting the seriousness in his features. His mouth was tight, jaw clenched and eyes heavy with some sort of unspoken understanding.
For a moment, they lay in silence, hesitantly watching the other in the warm light bleeding through the bedroom. The shadows around them buried them beneath an uncertain and enigmatic embrace.
The woman clutched her phone to her chest, feeling it kick with the reverberration of her quivering heart. Was she painfully obvious or what? Being utterly disappointed in herself was an understatement. "I just think it might be weird if I saw my best friend naked." She said.
InuYasha smirked at her. One of his long fingers brushed back the hair that fell in her face, and he shook his head hopelessly. "You're still focusing on me being naked? You must want me more than I thought." He teased, shedding a toothy grin.
Kagome winced and wanted to cover her ears and eyes like a child. "You have to be kidding me." She spat, eyebrows arched in a failed attempt to be nonchalant.
"Sweetheart, you know just as well as I do that it's pretty hard to not want me."
"You are terrible, InuYasha. I don't know how a woman could even look at you for more than a minute and think you're a good desicion." Kagome purred unknowingly.
The man let out a hoarse laugh and tossed his arm haphazardy over the lump beside him. Kagome didn't know whether or not to recoil, so she remained taut beneath his weight. They had laid together in bed many times before, but it was so strange how one look could ruin everything.
"You of all people know I don't bite." InuYasha said, searching for his remote with his foot, which snuck out of the covers.
"You do, too. I've heard stories." Kagome retorted, mouth turning sour.
InuYasha fumbled with the controller between his toes, raising the sheet about his thighs. The girl felt her body flush and she defeatedly sank deeper into his mattress, bars crushing into her knees.
"Yeah," He flipped on the television and let the noise drown out the awkwardness that had made its way into the room. "So, how come you know so much about my love life?" He arched a thick brow at her.
"Do I really need to answer that? Not only do I have my brother, or your best friend as we call him, and..." Kagome hissed between her teeth, "...those sources which I will not name until the holidays when she comes to visit. Which, I really think you should get over. Just because she left you doesn't mean that you can say that she's a bad person."
"Keh," InuYasha scoffed, idly reaching for his lost pajamas. "Whatever you say, Kagome. I personally don't want to spoil my joyous holiday with my family by seeing your sister." He said sharply.
Sometimes, she wondered if he was still hurt by losing her. Yet, as she laid there watching him humbly hold the fabric in his hands, he shot her a peculiar glance. She'd seen it before and felt her pride squelching under his scrutiny.
"You know, I always wondered two people could look so much alike and so different." He mused.
"The wonder of genetics." Kagome flapped an arm and let it hit her legs. "There's nothing too magical there."
"It is when you have something that she doesn't." His thin shoulders shrugged casually as he sat up. The longer strands of his hair smoothed over the curvatures of his torso and hung loosely about his waist.
Kagome furrowed her brows, trying to decipher the message he was trying to convey. "What would that be?"
A subtle smile, a genuine smile, creased his mouth as he looked at her. Slipping on the pajamas beneath the blanket, he adjusted himself and sighed. The answer that he wanted to give her was buried deep within him and pulling it from the source was a feat within itself.
"It's one of those things that you can't put your finger on." InuYasha finally succumbed to the ignorance he sometimes possessed.
Kagome feigned a smile and began drawing patterns on the smooth sheets. "I think it's funny that after I walked in on you, that we're able to completely ignore it and talk about all of these heavy topics." She said smartly, amused at how her embarassment had shriveled.
The man simply lost himself for a moment in the content wave rolling over him. Kagome, this once fragile thing, had become so fulfilling. It had been months since he had seen anyone else, and the root was her.
"You're practically my other half. We don't do much without each other." He said quietly, just barely audible over the hum of the television.
It was difficult to grasp what he had said, as he had many times before. Kagome was unsure of what their relationship was. He was her everything and nothing at the same time, smearing the black and white lines into this graying confusion.
His words were sweet, but his actions spoke volumes of the chasm that laid between them. Fear? Was it the receptor?
Closing her eyes, Kagome sat up in the bed and fought the war raging inside of her chest. It felt like tiny daggers cutting into each artery, tearing away the casing to reveal the her weakest tethers.
InuYasha, to her, was like blood in honey. Something so sweet could be spoiled by the sheer idiocy of his own doing, or hers, for that matter. Something as bittersweet as him was a prize to be held and in the languid motions of her body, she turned to face him.
The man arched his brows at her, rubbing his bare arm anxiously. "Are you alright?" He asked with concern. The quiet between them had grown into a humid smog of tension and anxiety. His skin was riddled with newly formed and flush gooseflesh.
Kagome nodded, biting her lower lip in an attempt to hush the words that begged to tumble off her tongue. "Why did you never give me the chance?" She vomited, spilling out the last residual drop of her feelings.
She dared to look up and see the distraught expression on his face, and paling pallor. He was whiter than the walls and it made her stomach churn. What had she done?
For a moment, InuYasha didn't know what to say. He shifted and shuddered at every idea, or possibility. All he could do was shove a cigarette in his mouth and stare at her with some sort of variable emotion. "Because, I don't see you like that." Rolled off of his tongue before he could even capture it.
Kagome nodded her head and forced back the swelling in her eyes. She could feel the salt kick at her lashes and struggle to squeeze past the barrier. "It's fine. I was just curious." She lied, "I guess I better go back to my room so I don't make this any more awkward. I don't need you moving out on me and all. I like the company." She sucked back a snivel as she got up, hoping that his hands would catch her.
When they didn't, her heart lumped in her throat.
It had been stupid of her to even admit to having such feelings. The rest of the night was going to be paused while she let her brain replay the scene over and over again; the insteads, what ifs, maybes, I should haves...
At least in the morning she could feel the freedom of suffering through work. Being away from home was exactly what she needed. InuYasha, on the other hand, was spellbound and dumbstruck in his bed.
When he heard her door shut, he stared emptily at the creases her body had made in his sheets. Idly, he brushed a hand over the vacant space, still feeling her warmth. It was inevitable that this would happen, he glowered.
Not speaking of their feelings had been what kept them together in the first place. He loved her, any fucking idiot could see that. How else would he have just stopped dating and spent all of his time at home with her?
Graciously, he snuffed his smoke and fell face first on his bed. He'd been thinking of her all night and it made his blood boil. How was he supposed to react when she fell into his room? Jump up and grab her, slam her a against a wall? What options did he really have?
All of these questions pummeled him as he forced his eyes closed. Now that their relationship was hanging in the balance, he had to figure out a way to repair it. He couldn't be with her like she wanted, he rationalized.
Kagome was too dear to him to throw away if something should happen. Dealing with it bitterly seemed like a much better option, he decided.
Besides, she probably didn't realize what she was saying.
Did she?