A/N: So, I was in the car heading down south to my aunt's house for Thanksgiving vacation, and I was listening to my mp3 player when this song came on. 'Say You'll Haunt Me' is an amazing song by Stone Sour. So when this song was playing, I suddenly got this idea and I wanted to experiment with how Kisara handles grief. So yeah, this will be very different from anything I've ever written before.
Say You'll Haunt Me
The day was beautiful when it happened. And when the day came for the final goodbyes, the sky was cloudless and the sun was shining bright. I sit in the hearse with Mokuba and… Seto. Mokuba clings to me, trying hard to keep from crying. I stare out the tinted window over the casket.
It's hard to believe, in this moment, that just last week Seto and I were planning our wedding. I shake my head; it is far too hard to think of anything like that now. I fear I will start crying, but I must be strong. For Mokuba if not for myself.
The procession is long. My fiancée may not have had many friends, but many people came for the funeral, and just as many were now driving behind us. It is comforting and yet not at the same time. I know that behind the first four cars after this one, no one knows Seto as I do, or rather as I did.
I shake my head lightly again. I can't allow myself to think about it now. I have to think of other things, but not of happier times. I have to be strong. I have to be the one who supports Mokuba now.
I know that in the first car is Yugi and Tea. Knowing Tea, she's probably worrying about me at this moment. Yugi is probably worrying about me, Tea, and his driving all at the same time. He's already twenty two and he's still so careful with his driving. In the three cars following theirs are the rest of mine and Seto's friends.
Mai and Joey were just married two weeks ago. Seto, Tristan and Yugi stood next to Joey. Tea was Mai's maid of honor, and then there was Serenity and I. It was a beautiful wedding. And we were all so happy.
The ride to the cemetery ended up being long, too long. I step out of the back, careful in my navy blue dress, and as Mokuba wraps his arms around my waist I watch Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Bakura and two of Seto's loyal servants take the casket out of the back.
I pat Mokuba's to get him moving so we can follow the men known as pallbearers to the place where Seto will rest forever. I stare at the ornate box. I remember the last time I saw Seto's beautiful blue eyes.
It was just a week ago, and we were preparing for bed. I was already snuggled under the covers. Seto had gotten in next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I was completely happy and I had felt as though nothing could ruin my happiness. He kissed the top of my head and told me he loved me.
The next morning when I'd woken up, it was because the phone was ringing next to me on the night stand. The person on the line had called me "Mrs. Kaiba" and I smiled at the name that would be mine in 3 weeks times. But the message she'd had to deliver shattered all the happiness I would ever feel.
The graveside sermon is not long, and soon Mokuba and I are placing flowers on the casket.
When it is time to leave, Tea comes next to me. Mokuba had gone with Yugi to wait at his car. I can't move. I feel as though my moving away from him will make it the true end. I know I'll never be Seto Kaiba's wife now. All I will be is his eternal fiancée. I run my hand along the wood. There are dragons and roses carved into it. The design is befitting of my love.
I feel a hand on my shoulder and I let the tears I'd held in until now fall. I can't believe he's gone. How could he just leave me like that? Tea pulls me into her arms, attempting to comfort me.
"Wha-What am I supposed to… to do without hi-him?" I say in between sobs. Mokuba is with Yugi so I am free to be weak. I sob, and then bawl as I bury my face into Tea's shoulder. I clutch at her, because at this moment I am unable to support myself.
She tries her best to get me to stop crying, but I can't. "Kisara, listen to me. Seto would want you to live. He wants you to take care of Mokuba in his place. He wants you to live on, and find happiness for you and the child inside of you."
I sobbed, "B-But I-I-I can't! I need him, Tea! I need to be with him!"
"Kisara! That is not what Seto would want! I know it's hard right now, probably more so than I can even begin to imagine, but you are strong! I know you can make it through this. If not for yourself then for Mokuba and Seto."
I know she is making sense but the tears won't stop. I ask for a moment alone and she leaves me with the casket. I my fingers over where his head would be. I press my lips to the wood.
Hesitantly I say, "I don't want to leave you Seto. I don't want to let the ground, or the Gods have you. You should be with me." I fall to my knees, clutch the casket and let more tears fall. My sobs are loud and I don't doubt that Tea and Yugi can hear me. But I no longer care. I sit and cry. I cry for Mokuba, who lost his brother, his only family. For the company, which lost a great leader. And for me, for having lost the greatest love of my life. I force the tears and sobs to stop.
"I…" I take a breath to steady myself, "…I belong to you Seto. Always you. Only you. I will bring our child up to be a man or woman that will make you proud." I press my lips to ha dragon's head. "I love you, Seto, now and forever." I stand to lay another two roses on the casket: one from me and one from Mokuba.
I turn to leave, but stop and close my eyes as a light breeze tousles my hair. I swear I can hear the words I love you in the wind. My lips form a small, sad smile, and I can't help but hope that the wind is Seto's way of saying that he will always be with me. That he will always haunt me.
I sit in the Moto's living room because Tea refuses to let me live in the mansion with no one but servants and Mokuba while I go through my third trimester. The doctor's tell me that the baby should be coming any day now. Tea fusses over me and Yugi sits nervously at my side most of the time. I don't know what they will do when it's time for them to go through this.
I rub my stomach absently and think of Seto. I don't cry for him as much anymore, though I still miss him intensely. I will have this child and he or she will grow to be a man or woman that Seto would be proud of.
When Tea is cooking, I get up to help, and Yugi helps me stand. Tea is a lucky woman to have such a considerate husband. The food is almost ready to go into the oven when my water breaks.
After 14 hours of labor I am exhausted, and a bit sore. And yet, I still want to hold my child. They put the bundle in my arms and I look into the face of my child. My child is beautiful, despite the bloodied state.
The nurse says, "Congratulations, Mrs. Kaiba. You have a beautiful baby girl."
I look down at my daughter, and she takes my breath away. She's beautiful and her little hands are moving towards me. The nurse asks me if I have a name for her. I do not hesitate in saying, "Hikaru. Seto told me to name her Hikaru." The nurse nods and smiles and I give my child to her, for fear that my weakened state would make me drop Hikaru. Mokuba brushes my hair out of my face.
"Sleep sister. I'll wake you when they return."
I close my eyes gratefully. In my dreams I see Seto. I dream of the day I tell him of my pregnancy.
When the words leave my mouth he is in shock. He collapses onto the couch, and I worry that he is not happy. But he pulls me onto his lap and begins kissing me all over my face. After a few moments he confides in me. "Kisara, I don't know if I can be a good father. I'm afraid that I will turn out to be worse than Gozaburo." He wraps his arms around my waist and holds me tighter.
I run my fingers through his hair, playing with the ends absently. "Seto you will be a great father. Mokuba is living proof of that. And every time I look at you I am glad it is you that I chose. I am glad that it is you with whom I will spend the rest of my life. I love you Seto Kaiba. And I know that you will be a wonderful father."
He holds me tighter. Hesitantly he says, "I've always liked the name Hikaru."
I laugh and kiss him.
The dream is a memory. But I know that wherever I go and whatever I do: Seto will always be there with me. He will be the wind that blows and the songs I hear. He will be everywhere and yet nowhere. You've said you will haunt me Seto. And now I will never let you go.
So what do ya think? I want to know some HONEST OPINIONS! GIVE HONEST CRITCISMS!
So, I know the whole giving birth scene is short, but seeing as I am a minor, never had a child, and to be quite honest don't know much about the whole pregnancy deal, that's the best you're going to get out of me. And I kept wondering what I should do about the baby. A boy? A girl? Twin boy and girl? But I knew that I wanted the name Hikaru, so you gots a girlie. Don't you just love fanbabies?
And yes, I was on the verge of tears as I wrote the first half of this oneshot. But it would have been so awkward to start bawling over my notebook with my dad, sister, and sister's boyfriend in the car! So I held it in.
Okay, thank you for reading, now…. GIVE ME YOUR REVIEWS! It's not like I'm asking you to sign your life away!
Hope y'all's's's's enjoyed! ^_^