I watched silently as his master tortured the young twilek soldier. The look of pure pleasure and satisfaction on my master's face as the soldier screamed in an agony I knew only too well made my stomach churn. I had watched, even participated in, this, as both torturer and victim, many times before. However, while I no longer vomited as I did as a boy, I was still unused to the act of torturing someone, and definitely not on the receiving end. I just didn't enjoy it as my master did which made things all the harder for me when I interacted with his peers and they're apprentices. They often made fun of me, to put it lightly, and openly wondered why I had lived this long in the first place. My lack of reaction was both my saving grace and my failure as it was unSithly to allow such insult to pass unchecked. To be honest I had asked the same question myself. 'Why had I survived?' I was powerful sure but I didn't actually try to survive. Part of me had always wanted to die and yet every trial, every betrayal, every trap and ambush and mission I had survived. So many fellow Acolytes had been more Sith that I yet here I was; the apprentice to the Sith Lord Darth Maal, one of the most powerful Sith in the Empire and a member of the Dark Council. And how I wish I wasn't. While power and status were incredibly appealing I never felt happy or even content with my position in Life. Sometimes I think I should-

"Vazidus" I jumped as I realised I had become distracted in my thoughts. Thankfully my Master had not noticed my lack of concentration as his focus seemed to remain on the now dead soldier. "How many soldiers are there left?" Darth Maal asked, his annoyance at the unusual defiance of today's soldiers quickly seeping into his voice.

I calculated the number of remaining soldiers and replied in the impassive tone I had forced myself to maintain at all times.

"There are only ten left my Master." I had been present for all thirty sessions over the last month which were a mix of group and 1 to 1 torture sessions. I waited patiently as Darth Maal looked thoughtfully over the second soldier he had tortured today.

"Apprentice," he said, pausing for a second as he seemed to arrange his thoughts. "Why do you think these soldiers were defiant to the end?"

I didn't think my heart could have sunk lower for the day. My Master was well aware of my less than ambitious and cruel nature. He had, despite the advice and example of his peers and predecessors, decided to try and coax the Sith attitude out of me by forcing me to choose punishments and carry out executions and torture in front of him and even some of his peers. This was just another example of such an event. Despite the resistance to cooperate which I had felt since I was first found with power I answered methodically.

"Most likely the soldiers have realised that you will continue to torture them to death regardless of what they tell you. They will rather die holding their secrets than tell you." The soldiers were not far from the torture chamber. This was originally meant to weaken the will of those captured through fear however there were times when the more defiant were left last and they would often decide to die loyal rather than die despite revealing everything they knew.

"So what should we do with the rest?" Darth Maal asked with fake innocence. His eyes told me more than I wanted to know about what he thought we should do with them.

"Kill them. It is a waste of time to continue torturing when there is no gain." I replied, maintaining my cool air and cold voice as if I was only concerned with efficiency. My master saw right through it of course however he didn't pursue it.

"Very well, what are you waiting for? Go." He said dismissing me, his eyes shifting to disappointment at my dull and barely Sith response as he left. This was the part I hated the most about my Master's scheming. It was hard enough to condemn them like this but to actually carry out my own sentence was almost more than I could bare, though I was happy in this instance I didn't have to personally torture them. Whatever is said about Sith training; it at least gave you a strong stomach.

Marching to out of the room I moved quickly to the slave pen in which the soldiers were being held. When I arrived I saw them huddled near one corner of the formerly filled cages, their eyes defiant and without fear. I approached a console near the force field that acted as a wall, deactivating the power with a switch. As one they all stood up as one and waited for me to choose my next victim.

I watched them for a few seconds before using the force to grab my lightsaber. I guess could have grabbed it without the force however it had become a convenient habit. The look of the prisoners changed when they saw me activate my lightsaber to one of relief. It was that slight look which made the danger of my Master's wrath worth it.

"I'm sorry" I whispered, almost too low for the remaining soldiers to hear, before I cut off their heads. They felt no pain. My cuts were neat instantly fatal but... I... it doesn't matter. I walked off with my heart feeling so very heavy while I showed none of my pain on my face.

They would have died regardless I told myself, There was nothing I could do. This didn't seem to do anything to quell my spirit. I didn't know how much longer I could go on. I didn't want to go on. Something had to change.

I followed my Master to his office in the Dromund Kaas Palace however he immediately sent me away, telling me to go get some rest. Something I was more than happy to comply to.

I quickly returned to my quarters, a rather luxurious place on my Master's estate. I moved quickly, not out of a desire to be home but out of a desire of what was within. Erianas, my slave. Now I'm not fond of slavery, I think it is horrible, but when you are virtually alone on a literally hostile and unforgiving world filled with Sith you need some form of companionship. When I first became Darth Maal's apprentice at the age of 16 he insisted that I buy myself a slave. Why I have no idea, maybe he thought I would want someone to beat on or maybe he just wanted me to have a trustworthy slave. I wasn't thrilled but I realised this was an opportunity. A slave that I had purchased and was under my power would be loyal to me alone. To this slave I would be able to reveal my secrets and feelings without fear of them being used for personal advantage. Maal had given me more than enough money to buy virtually any slave I could have wanted so I was set on that part however the nervousness I felt and the variety of choices made the whole thing difficult and unpleasant. That being said to this day, four years later, I do not regret going, this was probably the sole good think my Master had ever done for me. After all I left the slave market with the beautiful 14 year old Erianas, an Echani female. I had practically fallen in love at first sight, something I took extraordinary steps to hide.

I still remember the first few weeks. Erianas had been in the middle of her combat training when she was captured and sold to slavery, which meant she was full of confidence and pride despite her situation. As soon as she was let out of her cage she attacked me with everything she had, nearly killing me in the process. It took ten minutes of me holding her in the air with the force, on top a regrettably brutal put down, in order for her to calm down enough that she would hear me out, let alone not try to kill me. Even after she had agreed to behave, under threat of being tortured to death by my master if she killed me, the looks of pure hatred and venom she gave me meant that I kept my food and drink well out of her reach for several weeks following.

I never asked her for anything, partially just because I didn't trust her not to still try and murder me, but just to listen. This originally was VERY one-sided as she never talked back and sometimes didn't even pay attention. Things improved after a couple of months when she realised that not only brooding and grudge holding was fruitless and unnecessarily tiring; but also I was a practical saint compared to anyone else who would have bought her. This was a relief for me as jealously guarding your food from your own slave was not only getting rather annoying but was also fairly embarrassing. The real change, however, started shortly after my third year as Darth Maal's apprentice I had been attacked by one of my Master's rivals who had tried to assassinate him. The rival, one Darth Keldasius, had tried to ambush my master and I when we were on our way to a meeting of the Council. I am more sensitive to the presence of others than my Master, and most other Sith too, and was able to warn him of his approach and intent. During the battle I killed the Darth's apprentice before my Master could finish his battle with Darth Keldasius. I tried to intervene in their battle and managed to give my Master an opening that he could use to kill the errant Darth. As a reward Keldasius nearly cut me in half and succeeded in electrocuting me quite severely, I thought my unSith-like behaviour had finally got me killed when as I fell unconscious. After that, as I learnt later, my Master risked the wrath of the entire Dark Council by taking me back to his estate to have me treated. Erianas was by my bed when I woke up a couple of days later, she didn't look like she had cried, maybe because it would have been two days since my nearest-death experience, but she was incredibly happy to see me awake. That night she practically threw herself at me, it was not as pleasant as I had hoped my first time would be as I was still healing, a lesson in pain apparently and a punishment for interfering in my Master's fight, but it was still the best night of my life, although I was both shattered and aching when morning came.

I opened the door of my House and began searching for her, leaving the obvious place for last. She wasn't in the kitchen, not that I expected her to be, nor in the entertainment area nor in her bedroom. I finally looked into the training area where I would meditate and practice my forms and where she was practicing her Echani skills. After my near death experience she had insisted that she become my bodyguard. I was against this for several reasons, mostly because I didn't want her to get hurt but also because a Sith walking around with Bodyguards was a sign of weakness which I didn't need added to my record, at least that was the reason I had said to her. However she was as stubborn as an aged Jedi and refused to back down, remember how long I said it took for her to stop hating me? Not willing to fight over this I directed her passion to protect me to training herself, or as I thought of it: protecting herself when she was near me. I provided her with a database containing an instruction manual for Echani and Teräs Käsi. This became a bonding activity for us as both arts were useful and as a someone who had passed the second tier of Echani martial arts she was able to help me learn the forms and as someone who had grown up amongst Sith I taught her how to combat Force users.

Sure enough she was practicing some of the Teräs Käsi forms, as she had mastered most of the third tier of the Echani Martial arts. I was happy about how well she was taking to the Teräs Käsi teachings as they would be vital for her should she actually survive by my side. At first she didn't notice I was present but nearly jumped out of her skin when I faked a cough, an action I found to be incredibly cute. She looked around, suddenly alert for danger, but stopped when she saw me leaning against the wall smiling at her. She returned the smile and proceeded to launch herself into me for a fierce kiss. I allowed myself to succumb to her passion, returning her kiss with equal power and need. This was however interrupted when my hand, in an effort to run my hand up her neck, knocked her control collar. I froze which in turn caused her to stop kissing. My eyes must have looked very sad at that moment because she had put a comforting hand on my face.

"It's fine, I've told you this over a thousand times" she said with that beautiful reassuring smile of hers. I hated the collar. I really did; it reminded me of all the things I hate about Sith society and made me feel like I was threatening her to stay with me. I knew this wasn't true. We had both agreed long ago that the collar needed to stay on for appearances if nothing else. As you have guessed I was on highly unstable ground with regard to my fellow Sith. Removing the collar from my Slave, force forbid actual free her, would make her a target for every single person who wanted to hurt and ruin me. She was ok with this, it's not like I was ever going to use it. That didn't mean I was happy about it.

"I know but-"

"shhhh" she interrupted me before giving a delicate loving kiss. After a few tender moments Erianas broke the kiss. "Lovely as this is I would prefer you live to do it more" she said firmly, but lovingly, as she indicated the sparring mat. I was naturally superior to her in combat however during such sparring I was not allowed to use the Force, which meant that she won almost as often as not. We stripped off our cloth until we only wore undergarments, something both Erianas and the database had been adamant about when it came to Echani martial arts. We started with Erianas teaching me a new form or movement and explaining some new philosophy of the Echani teachings. After we got that out of the way we moved onto sparring. The battle was fierce. To an untrained eye one would think we were brutalizing each other however we made sure not to aim at any weak spots in order to reduce damage. We did this for nearly an hour before we decided to stop for the day and do a 'different' form of physical activity.

I woke to my communicator sounding off. For a second I asked myself which unlucky soul dared to awaken this tiger. Until I realised that the only person who would call me was my Master. Literally jumping out of my bed I ran to the communicator as if I was running from a horde of Terentatek. I switched on the communicator, grateful that it was voice only.

"Master?" I asked, my voice falling into it's cold and impassive tone.

"Vazidus, Come to the Dark Temple" my Master stated, "There are things I must do there and I desire your presence."

Before I could reply the feed was cut leaving me with my mouth open slightly. It was odd. Darth Maal wasn't exactly sociable but he was never this brusque. I wondered what my Master could possibly want that would make him this irritable; and why the Dark Temple? Sure it had a large number of powerful artifacts and was teeming with dark power and knowledge but as a member of the Dark Council whatever was there couldn't have had too significant an importance to rile him up this much.

In the end there was no point debating it. My Master had summoned me in a way which clearly left no room for negotiation so I had better go with all haste. With a sigh I turned around and looked back at the comfortable bed and the beautiful woman who currently resided naked in it. She put on a sad, but at the same time understanding, smile but with eyes filled with worry. I so greatly wanted to see the eyes she has shown last night this morning however this would have to do. I moved to dress myself, picking a set of robes from the wardrobe in my room. It was then that I noticed Erianas had also gotten out of bed but unlike himself she did not get dressed. Instead she moved her naked flesh against me, making dressing that much harder in several ways, as reached for the robes. For a second I hoped this was her attempt to get me to stay in bed with her, an attempt which was succeeding splendidly, however I realized that this was just a tease before she assisted me get dressed. This, while not entirely common, was not a rare thing. He had often been rushed out by his Master's summons or the duo had had a quickie which had left little time for error. She proceeded to help me don my robes for me, while teasingly rubbing my body ever chance she got. This was both needlessly distracting and pleasantly welcomed. She had almost finished, making sure that the robe was straight and without creases when she froze. She looked at me with a mixture of dread and panic which left me sick in the stomach and more than a bit panicked myself.

"Your master... he is odd for keeping you around so long right?" She said. This was something she knew well and the fact she was confirming it with such side eyes bade I listen. With a nod from me she continued her thinking. "Usually the Sith would remove someone like you who is so... not Sith." Again I nodded; although slightly slower this time, my feeling of dread and the realization which triggered it growing as the conversation continued. "Your... could he mean to kill you?"

There it was. This is what I had been fearing for over 4 years. My master had been surprisingly patient with me. My power was above all of the other Apprentices which had made me a prize to be sure but the Sith ways involved more than mere power. Hate, rage and desire for power. None of these things I had.

"Don't go, let's just run." She whispered, a half-hearted plea. We both knew that it was pointless. If I did disobey and tried to run he would simply hunt us down and as we were at the centre of the Empire , Dromund Kaas, his power and influence would crush us before we even reached the star port. I looked sadly down into Erianas' eyes.

"There is nothing we can do." I said with certainty, "besides we don't know for sure that he really intends to kill me." It was a weak argument, one which Erianas saw through as if it were air. I could feel it in the Force. It tugged at my thoughts, constantly bringing the idea of betrayal to the forefront as if screaming at me to run; begging me not to face my Master. But I knew that I had to go. My Master was no fool and he was a decent actor. This slip on his part could not have been an accident, which meant he was after something else. He wanted me to be Sith. He had gone out of his way, possibly even faced ridicule, to keep me alive and make me Sith. I had been less than cooperative. This was his last attempt. Either I kill him or I die. I had decided. Now what should I do about Erianas. She would definitely follow me regardless of whether I ordered her to stay or not. What to do what to do what to- maybe that will work.

"Erianas I will go meet my master-"

"Then I am going with you."

"You are going to st-"

"Like hell I am Vazidus!"

"-AND PREPARE FOR OUR DEPARTURE!" I yelled. That quieted her. For a second.

"Departure? ARE YOU INSANE?! THIS IS JUST AN ATTEMPT TO GET ME TO STAY WHILE YOU GO OFF AN DIE ISN'T IT?!" Well there was that.

"Erianas. This is something between my Master and I." She was about to interrupt me when I suddenly kissed her, effectively silencing her retort. When she had calmed down sufficiently I then disengaged and continued. "I will not die. I will not leave you and when I am done I will return here and WE will head off world." She looked as if she was going to protest so I again kissed her, her resistance was significantly less than before which was a good sign. "I need you to trust me. Please trust me." I finished looking deeply into her eyes, forcing ever inch of my face to convey my pleading and sincerity. She looked back at me for almost a minute. Silent and thoughtful. She then reached for my head for a final kiss. It was soft, loving and calm as if she was trying to convey all of her love and devotion to me in this single act, an act which I reciprocated. After enjoying this for a couple dozen seconds she finally pulled back.

"I trust you." She whispered back. Before she suddenly and violently grabbed my robe, like she did when we first met. "But if you die I will kill you!" Despite the hilarity of the statement I still felt very scared. No way am I going to risk ticking her off. I thought to myself. All I did was smile however. Then I left.