:: You are not my Chosen.::
That one sentence keeps echoing in my head. The one sentence that changed my life forever. The one she snarled before she left me. It was the last thing she said before severing the Bond between us. The bond, that when broken, is supposed to mean the death of both members.
It did mean her death. Or I did...She suicided trying to stop the atrocious things I'd called. She had to know that one Companion could never face a Wyrsa pack alone. But, maybe, just maybe, she was suffering as I was from the broken link. Maybe that was her escape.
My escape was taken from me. The loss of my Companion should have resulted in my death. An end to the pain. No one denies that. Yet, I'm here...I'm here suffering. The guild and the pain...the indescribable feelings that you wouldn't wish on even your worst enemy...These are the norm now.
Why? Because he 'saved' me. He kept me from taking that final leap into oblivion.
For this I'm told to be grateful. To thank him, or at least think of what it would have done to him had I succeeded.
They don't understand. They've never suffered this kind of loss. This kind of emptiness and despair...I pray they never do. And, if, by some unspeakable event, they do...I pray that they have the courage, strength and ability to do what I was kept from.
So, thank you? I will never utter those words. For, how can you thank someone for binding you to a life of eternal misery?
That one sentence keeps echoing in my head. The one sentence that changed my life forever. The one she snarled before she left me. It was the last thing she said before severing the Bond between us. The bond, that when broken, is supposed to mean the death of both members.
It did mean her death. Or I did...She suicided trying to stop the atrocious things I'd called. She had to know that one Companion could never face a Wyrsa pack alone. But, maybe, just maybe, she was suffering as I was from the broken link. Maybe that was her escape.
My escape was taken from me. The loss of my Companion should have resulted in my death. An end to the pain. No one denies that. Yet, I'm here...I'm here suffering. The guild and the pain...the indescribable feelings that you wouldn't wish on even your worst enemy...These are the norm now.
Why? Because he 'saved' me. He kept me from taking that final leap into oblivion.
For this I'm told to be grateful. To thank him, or at least think of what it would have done to him had I succeeded.
They don't understand. They've never suffered this kind of loss. This kind of emptiness and despair...I pray they never do. And, if, by some unspeakable event, they do...I pray that they have the courage, strength and ability to do what I was kept from.
So, thank you? I will never utter those words. For, how can you thank someone for binding you to a life of eternal misery?