She felt herself waking up. What time was it? Why was it so cold? She tried to blink but her eyelids were so heavy. The dream had been too much, too real. She had to save him and he had to choose her or death. She tried again to open her eyes but what she saw burned them. She closed them tightly and was dizzy with the speed with which her heart rate and breathing had accelerated.
"Is it so painful to look at me?" Edward said in a dejected voice.
"What a stupid question!" She whispered to herself.
"Then why have you closed your eyes?"
"No, the reason I said it was stupid, was because you are a sight for saw eyes, so of course it's painful!" She opened them and openly glared at his gorgeous profile. He sighed and reached for her hand. She sat up quickly, also moving from his reach.
"Will you please let me explain?" Edward sighed.
She looked at him indignantly. "I have never realised how full of yourself you can be."
He looked at her with her mouth agape. "Excuse me?"
"Every time I recommend an idea or have something to say, you treat me like a child. You look down on me like I'm a nuisance. I went all the way to Italy, to save your stupid ass and you have yet to thank me. I went even though the last time you saw me you offended me, called me a "distraction" which I'm pretty sure is not a compliment and told me you never wanted to see me again. Edward, you are not as special as you think you are."
Every sentence she finished he tried to butt-in but she was having none of it. Of course she loved him but he needed to realise she had changed in his absence and was no longer the tag-along, the obedient one.
"Do you know what it's like to have something become your whole life and then to have it ripped away from you?" She spat. "You chose to leave me. You made that decision on my behalf. How DARE you! You may be the most strong and fast out of the two of us but I am the human and according to you, I am the only one with a soul, so shouldn't I be the one who gets to choose?"
"Bella I... I couldn't... I should've..." And for the first time, he was lost for words. For the first time, Edward Cullen was imperfect. "Do you want me to leave?" He actually pouted!
"Do you know how pathetic you are when you don't get your way? Of course I don't want you to leave but when you start to speak, I forget that I'm angry with you. I forget you left me. I forget everything apart from you. And I need you to know that even though I love you more than anything for 99% of the time, I hate you the rest of the time." She looked down and breathed deeply.
"Do you even like me? Is it just that I'm different? That you can't read my mind? Am I a challenge to you?" She was giving him the chance to bow out and if he took it, she'd finally understand. She had to give him the chance to leave; it would hurt more if she didn't.
Bella found herself suddenly being flung through the air.
She opened her eyes and saw his so close she felt she could truly see inside him but the feeling was what struck her immediately. His cold, hard lips pressed against hers fiercely and the rest of his body laying against her and pressing her into the mattress. She could feel all of him and it was a spectacular sensation and one she had missed the most. His hands moved from behind her back to her hips and his lips moved from her mouth, across her cheek, caressed her chin and along her throat. Her breathing became heavy and her sight became blurred.
He suddenly stopped, looked into her eyes and said, in barely a whisper, "You are divine, a goddess. I love you and I left because I wanted you to blossom into the woman you are. You are different because you are beautiful but not superficial, intelligent but modest and above all you are mine and will be for all of time."
I looked up and felt the understanding of the look of devotion in his eyes settle in my heart and thaw my numb body. He loved me. This realisation entered my limbs and my hands wrapped around his neck and pulled him towards my lips. As our mouths touched, my arms encircled around his long neck and my thighs started to rise around his long legs. Both of us frantic to touch any bit of each other, my hands entangled in his hair while his hands rose from my hips to where my shirt had started to ride up and his cold fingers touched my stomach.
I gasped but this seemed to deter him from the task at hand so I held onto his hair tightly and wrapped my legs round his thighs firmly. I felt that infamous half smirk on his mouth appear and he gripped me tighter.
And then I pushed him away.
He looked confused and then petulant. "What's wrong?" he asked.
"You seem confused and upset. Is that how you feel?" I asked.
"Yes but what's wrong? Did I push you too hard?" he asked again.
"That's how I feel every time you push me away and say it's for my "own good". So if you keep making decisions for me, I will start to make decisions for you too. Like I said before, I may only be human but you will be surprised how inventive I can be." I looked him and raised my eyebrow, daring him to challenge this.
He looked at me nervously and simply said, "Okay."
A few seconds later I saw him gulp. "Will you go out with me, Bella?"
This was the Edward that I loved, the unsure, humane Edward. Although I loved all of Edward completely this was the persona that I could identify with. Being with Edward made me feel unsure and insecure all the time and to see him feeling the same lessened the gap between us.
I simply looked up and said, "Edward, to no other question have I ever been asked, has my answer been more certainly, yes." And with a smile, I pulled his head down to mine.