Chara woke to darkness, yet should not have woken at all.

This wasn't the first time this had happened. When they woke in the underground all that time ago, they were sure they should have died. Sure they were going to die. Humans that go to Mt. Ebott never return – so the saying went.

Yet they still lived. Even now they still lived, but this time they were sure they should be dead. They just weren't currently sure why they were so sure of that.

The area around them was either an infinite dark void, or they'd gone blind. The latter couldn't be the case since when they moved they saw their own body lying on the "ground." Though nothing seemed to be beneath them to support them, Chara stood and looked around. Nothing, nothing, everywhere there was absolutely nothing. Maybe they really were dead.

No sense lingering on it, of course. They instead tried to think what the last thing was they remembered and the reason for their death. Also nothing. The last thing they could actually think of... was Asriel.

Being with Asriel. Being together with him always. They should be together now, but some pain in Chara's heart told them something had gone wrong. Something had gone horribly wrong. They squeezed their eyes shut as if that would help them focus and still found nothing but pain. So they decided to instead start at the last full memory.

And when their eyes opened, they were in New Home. It shimmered like a mirage and refused to settle, leading Chara to wonder if what they were seeing was real. They had happily lived here for many months with the monster family who had adopted them: Asriel, who found them when they fell into the underground, and his parents Asgore and Toriel, the kind rulers of the underground. They had become the only family Chara ever had. They made Chara... happy.

This place had been where they all had lived, but as Chara hesitantly wandered through the house they found it empty. They seemed to be the sole inhabitant, wandering down the quiet hallway and finding nobody in the bedrooms. Feeling somewhat defeated they continued down the hall to look in the mirror. To see if they were even there, either.

What they found... wasn't what they expected.

It was them, of course. Faded green sweater with a single stripe. Pale skin. Normally straight hair a bit messier than usual. Eyes red. White of the left eye... now black? They pulled at the edges of their eye as if it would change anything, but it was... definitely black now. Is it because they were "dead"? Is it because of how they died?

They still couldn't recall how that happened.

After staring at themself in the mirror for a while, Chara realized something else. The heart-shaped locket they had always worn in life was nowhere to be seen. Asriel had given that to them as a gift, a symbol of their friendship. And now... just like he seemed to be, it was gone.

They closed their eyes and let out a sigh. They had to find him. They had to remember what happened. But if starting from what they last remembered didn't help... maybe it would jog their memory to start from the beginning.

When they opened their eyes again it was not a void or their home waiting for them. It was a darkened lab that was once all they knew. The place where they had taken their first steps and learned all they knew. The place where doctors and nurses periodically forced various substances into them and other children. The place where, through the window, you could see a bed of beautiful golden flowers.

Their hell.

They felt they had to reflect on this memory, though. Needles and liquids and white coats, children dying, all in the same of one combined purpose. The mountain was so nearby. Though the war had long since passed, the humans still lived in fear of it. Some of them got the idea that the only way to rid of their fear was to finally rid of the monsters beneath the surface. But how to fight the magical beings now?

Fight fire with fire. Fight magic with magic.

Chara knew by now the effect Determination had on monsters. It was a rare occurrence, but on occasion some monsters had obtained it on their own or through some other method. All monsters that were filled with Determination would melt, slowly but surely, until there was nothing left of them. The opposite was true for humans – while they were naturally filled with Determination, magic was a foreign substance. It froze their bodies slowly, making their skin ice cold and eventually turning their whole body to ice. For humans there was but one difference: With enough Determination they could continue to live with their ice cold body, never turning to ice. Thus, the scientists paid off families and took the children with the most Determination.

Chara had been one of them.

They never knew their parents and grew up in those conditions. They weren't treated poorly, but as they grew up they realized what people really saw them as. All the children had cold skin and were able to use a small amount of magical abilities. They were kept in the lab and never allowed out.

People saw them as tools. Weapons.

Monsters.

They created the very thing they wished to destroy.

Chara lived with this knowledge for most of their life. They found no comfort in the other children, who lived knowing the same. The smallest joy in their life they could find by the time they had turned twelve were the golden flowers outside their window. The center of the village was not usually filled with people, making it an even more comforting sight. Over time, realizing the people who handled them had no care for them... they grew to truly despise people.

That's why, hearing the words from those same scientists filled them with even more joy than they had ever known: "Legends say that those who climb the mountain never return." Chara's ultimate destination became their goal. They had to get there. They wanted to disappear. Only a child, they figured the monsters would get to them if nothing else happened.

Chara fled. Made it to the mountain. They thought they had died when they fell down, but instead Asriel found them and helped them to his home. His parents welcomed them with open arms.

For a time, they lived there and were happy.

But it would never last.

Over the months their eyes began to turn red, something that concerned their parents more than it concerned them. Side-effects were nothing new. The more concerning part was a slow personality change that went unnoticed, a slow craving that became unbearable.

Their true purpose, remembered: To destroy monsters.

Their true desire, revealed:

Determination.

Being raised around magical beings, being filled with magic, they slowly grew colder and colder. bits of ice appeared on their skin that they could hardly manage to wash away. At the rate they were going they'd surely die. Their craving for Determination made them a bit unstable, barely able to control the sudden urges to attack the monsters around them in search of it. If they didn't die, they knew they would do worse. They would hurt their family whether they wanted to or not.

Chara could not allow that.

Presently, they opened their eyes to another small field of flowers. The area around them was dark, illuminated only by the light leaking in from above. This was the underground, for sure; this was the place where they had fallen, where Asriel had found them. They remembered now: They had come here with him to make the plan that would eventually be the end of them.

Chara ate the poisonous flowers and perished. Before their soul could disappear, Asriel absorbed it – which Chara intended to last forever. The two of them should have always been together. They would break the barrier together... and satisfy that thirst Chara could not rid themself of. At least, that was the intention. Something had happened that they still could not recall, leading to their death.

...they hoped Asriel made it home before they did, at least. Maybe... Maybe he was with Mother and Father. Wherever they were. Chara wasn't sure. They looked up to the light above that they had come from before closing their eyes once more and returning to that void. That... Nexus, of sorts.

They would find their parents and speak with them. Yes, that seemed to be the best course of action. They would find their parents, then...

They would...