Author's Note: another spinneli fanfiction but this one will be funny. the same tumblr follower gave me the idea so here you guy. warning it may be slightly ooc and kinda au i guess. just go with it.
"Are you sure we have everything?" Emma asked me as we got out of my car, carrying two poster boards and a three buckets.
"I'm pretty sure," I kicked the door shut and made my way up the stairs of Degrassi. It felt like just yesterday I was sitting in class getting lectured by Miss Sally about sex, and now me and my wife were doing the same thing.
Mr. Simpson met us at the door and opened it for us.
"Thanks, dad," Emma answered.
"No problem. They'll be in Ms. Kwan's room. It's kinda a mixed class of Sophomores, Juniors and Seniors,"
"That's fine," I answered and we walked down the hall.
Me and Emma have only done two of these before but not we were back at our old school with her father as the principle here to educate kids about sex in front of Ms. Kwan.
Mr. Simpson opened the door to the math room and walked in while we followed behind him.
Mr. Simspon talked to the class while Emma set up her poster boards and I laid out what was in the buckets on the tables. Condom, panflets, pads, tampons, deoderant, books.
"Okay, class, this is Gavin Mason and Emma Nelson here to educate you on sex. For the past couple years, we've taught this at a younger age but with all the new changes and all that's happened at this school, I think it's time we refresh our memory," Mr. Simspon said, then went to stand by Ms. Kwan at the door.
I turned to face the crowd to skim for some faces. I noticed Sav sitting in front of Holly J. That Fitz kid that took my place at The Dot. And a girl sitting with a black-haired boy that looked vaguley familiar. Before I could think anything of it, Emma cleared her throat.
"Hi, everyone. So we are here to help you figure out some things. I know most of you are old enough to know about safe sex, but there is never a wrong time to be educated about it,"
"Just a warning," I added. "We will be blunt. Well...I'll be blunt,"
The class laughed. "I'm serious," I said.
I noticed the familiar looking girl and the black haired boy were smiling at each other and poking each other in the side.
I sighed. "Yo, you two lovey-dovey, cutsey-tootsy, we're gonna use you as an example. Have you to ever had sex?" I asked, being perfectly blunt like I warned.
The girl stared at me. "Uhh..."
"Yeah," the boy answered and a blonde hair girls squeeled.
"Clare Edwards! You didnt tell me!"
I did a double take a the familiar girl and realized who she was. "Edwards as is Darcy Edwards' little sister?" I asked, smirking and she nodded.
"Woooow," I said, dragging out the word. First Darcy posts sexy pictures online then Clare looses it to Goth Boy. "So back to the example, are you two safe?"
"Yes," she answered, blushing a deep red.
"Good, but do you know that even if you use protection, you can still get pregnant?" I asked.
"Duh. We're not idiots," the boy retorted.
"Okay, then would you like to demonstrate how to put a condom on?" I asked. I grabbed a condom off the table and a banana off of Ms. Kwan's desk. She shot me a look but I handed it to the kid anyway.
"Are you serious?" he asked.
"Deadly. Put the condom on the banana,"
"How is this gonna help?" he asked. "My penis is not a banana,"
"Right, of course. Let me help you by finding a better example," I grabbed a pencil off Clare's desk and put it down. The class laughed and oohed. "Better?"
He glared at me. "I'll put the stupid condom on the banana,"
I smiled. "That's what I thought,"
He rolled the condom on and I walked past him, patting him on the head. "Goodboy," I walked to the back of the classroom then up the next row of desks to the front. "Now, just because you use a condom, that doesnt mean you still wont get pregnant,"
"Condom's break all the time," Emma added. "And sometimes they even fall off,"
"So always by the right size. Even if you're embarrassed to buy an extra small, you should if it'll fit. Pregnancy is not fun. Especially a teenage one,"
Emma nodded. "Raising a baby is hard. So use as much birth control as you can,"
"Oral sex can also be unsafe," I said.
A girl raised her hand and Emma pointed to her, already knowing her name. "Hey, Chantay. Yes?"
"Emma, didnt you get ghonneria a few years ago from Jay Hogart?"
I looked at Emma and tried to hold back my laughter. Jay had told me all about that and I actually found it quit funny considering I lost my virginity to his wife.
Emma turned beat red and started stuttering about the shooting and a bad place. She shifted from one foot to the other because she was getting flustered. I was about to step in when she yelled, "Shouldnt you have graduated already?"
I busted out laughing along with a few other kids.
"Okay, okay, okay, to answer Chantay's question maturly..." I shot a look at Emma who glared. "Yes Emma did have a ghonneria from hooking up with my best friend but it's okay because I slept with his wife,"
Everyone's eyes in the room went wide and I realized what they thought. "No! No, no, no, no! This was a long time ago!" I assured.
Clare's boyfriend laughed. "And I thought this school was full of love triangles,"
This kid was really starting to annoy me. "Okay, moving on. Homosexuality. It can be a very hard subject, especially if you're scared to come out. Let's use you for an example," I pointed to the kid. "Say you were gay and wanted to be with him," I pointed to Fitz. The class laughed and Clare's boyfriend growled under his breath. I assumed they didnt like each other. "It's perfectly okay to be with each other and it's okay to be yourself. It's even okay if you two want to have sex but it should still be protected,"
Goth kid glared murderously at me while Fitz shook his head.
"Calm down, boys," I winked.
.
.
.
At the end of the seminar Emma went around one side of the room handing out condoms and I went around the other. I got to Clare and smirked. "You dont know these, Saint Clare,"
I skipped over her but her boyfriend stood up and smiled at me, grabbing a handful. "Oh, yes she does,"
The class laughed and I shook my head then glanced at the condoms he took. "Well, be careful Big Boy, those might fall off,"
"Ha-ha-ha-ha, you're a riot man!" he fake laughed and sat down.
The bell rang for them and they all stood up. I got the kid at the door. "Hey, man you know I was just givign you a hard time. Dont take it seriously,"
"I didnt. I'm not really phased,"
"Cool, so, uh, just be right with Clare, okay? I dont really know her that well but she was a good kid and the thought of her having sex makes me shiver," I laughed.
"Dont worry. I love her and I'm never gonna hurt her,"
"Alright, dude, take care,"
"You, too,"
Author's note: I'm ashamed at the ending but its all i could think of right now. big props to amanda who gave me the idea and helped me when i got stuck (: