Hello everyone! So i'm currently an aspiring novelist, and have a major project that I hope to soon become published. However, I had the plot bunny come and hit me on the head with this story. I hope you all enjoy it! This is the first time I write a fanfiction and post it on this site, so please give me comments and suggestions for the story.

I'm honestly a fast writer so I would like to post a chapter each week, reviews will motivate me to work more. XD Since I really don't know if people will like this story or not, if I get reviews for this chapter then I will definetely continue.

I am always up for suggestions on what you would like to see. I'm planning to have a third guy trying to woo Harry. It will be either Draco or Remus, which would you all like?

Rating will go up as the story progresses. Also, I have read every book, seen every movie, etc. So I know who's died and what. If I want a character alive, then they will be alive.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.

When reading this chapter I suggest listening to Turning Page by Sleeping At Last.

~Chapter 1~

Turning Page

"I surrender who I've been, for who you are.

Nothing makes me stronger than, your fragile heart.

If I had only felt how it feels to be yours, I would have known what I've been living for, all along"

There were many things that Severus Tobias Snape regretted in his life, many of which haunted him as a constant reminder. Nevertheless, there was one regret in particular that captured his heart in a tight vise, that when remembered, took the breath right out of his lungs. This one regret, small as it may have been, was what caused many others in his life. It was the epitome of his existence. He was reminded everyday by the mark upon his forearm, by the absence in his heart and the dullness in his life. That one contrition was none other than Lily Evans.

Not Lily Evans Potter, no, she was not the one he fell in love with. He fell for the crimson haired girl who saw the beauty in the darkest of people, had the courage that rivaled her houses founder, and a love that brought the sun out to shine each morning. He loved just Lily.

It had taken him a month of built up courage to confront her that day beneath the orchard tree. He knew in the back of his mind that it was wrong to approach a muggle born, there would be questions, denials but she seemed different. At that young of an age, she already accepted who she could become. Her strength was enthralling. Despite being out casted by her sister, she never once let it sully her mood and instead used her new found powers to protect young Petunia from the neighborhood boys.

It was a dream for Severus that she accepted him, even though there was no doubt in his mind that she knew of his father beatings. She was kind, nurturing, how could he have not fallen in love? He would have given her the world, his life, if she'd asked. Yet that one regret, that one moment his forsaken tongue slipped everything he hoped and dream crashed around him like a tidal wave. It was over. He hadn't meant it, the jealousy that scorched his heart was just unbearable, so he preyed upon the one thing that ever brought him happiness. With one moment of stupidity, a lapse of the mind, Lily Evans was gone from his grasp.

Oh how Severus wished he could take it all back, but it was already far too late and he had no one to blame but himself. His denial liked to blame the Potter man she married. Had she never met him, she wouldn't have fallen in love; Severus would have never hurt her. More importantly, the Dark Lord would have never wanted her life in his hands.

Severus couldn't forget the last time he saw her…

It was a week before her death, and regardless of all the years of separation, Severus yearned to reach out to her. Beg for one last chance of forgiveness before the darkness would overcome the world.

She looked lovely that day, despite having a glamour put up for her protection; she was unmistaken-able to him. Passed the throng of people crowding Diagon Alley, he saw those emerald eyes in every dream so how could he not know the owner? He'd been in love with them for decades. Her alabaster skin was glowing with the pride and joy she felt for the baby cradled in her arms, a miniature broom sticking out from the bag dangled from her arms.

Severus had felt betrayed seeing the babe, like salt added to his mournful wounds, and yet he couldn't help but wonder now if she'd be proud knowing her son was now a quitich team captain. For a moment, Lily's eyes had darted around her, connecting with the obsidian orbs of the mysteriously cloaked figure in a shadowed corner. Realization shown in her eyes, she recognized the long black strands peeking out from the hood. Her lips had twitched up only the slightest amount. She disappearated, leaving Severus' heart racing and pumping faster than ever.

What did it mean? The smallest signs of a smile. Was he forgiven? He could only hope, but knew it was in vain. She would never forgive him; at least that's what she said. Perhaps it was a farewell? She was gone within the week, her body lifeless as he rocked her, wishing and preying upon Merlin that his life could be given to her. Not accepting that he would never be able to keep a silent vigil upon her anymore.

It was all his fault…and he had been reminded that for the past six years when his eyes would catch those of the Potter boys. Lily's son. He felt like he should have tried harder, should have joined their side, but he couldn't bear to see her family happy without him.

How could he have been so stupid?

Severus' fingers twitched to wrap around his neck, where beneath clothing and bandages, a bite mark that no healing salve could fix would be seen. It was the sign of his punishment, one that he didn't even want to deny that he deserved. Yet, even with the Dark Lord gone and Lily's life avenged, the emptiness of life without her remained. The Potter boy didn't help at all. His verdant eyes, much like his mothers, had his heart racing on more than one occasion. It was a guilty pleasure he would never admit to, that he would imagine them as he showered, a hand wrapped around himself as he sought satisfaction.

He felt disgusted with himself.

The Dark Lord was gone. No more danger or worries, just peace. Harry couldn't help but feel useless, worthless even. There was nothing to look forward to anymore, nothing he strived to accomplish. Unless he considered finishing his final year at Hogwarts, but with a friend like Hermione, he wasn't too worried.

Life had dialed down after the last battle, and everyone seemed to want enjoy the quietness. Frankly, Harry James Potter was bored. There was nothing left for him now except live day to day. He oddly missed the adventure, the anxiety. He couldn't even remember it that well now that he drowned in sluggishness. Loneliness even.

Even the people at Hogwarts seemed to not notice him anymore. Fame at school was always a hassle, and after the battle it escalated to an unbearable level. Now with the New Year starting it's like he was some ordinary wizard. He got the occasional smiles, thank you's, and praise but other than that nothing. Funny how that word was becoming an everyday thought to him.

He didn't want to seem ungrateful, he was happy that Voldemort was gone and no one was being hurt. He just wanted something, something that was nothing.

Harry sighed, his eyes dropping slightly as the stared off into the crackling fire. The people around him going unnoticed to him, they were only passing blurs out of the corners of his mind. Hermione had the strange notion that he was suffering from some sort of depression or another type of mental illness causing his almost muted attitude.

Was he lost? Broken? No, maybe he died along with Voldemort at the battle. That had to be it.